Chapter Thirty-three.My Worst Enemy With My Greatest Love.
Song for this chapter: Florence and the machine-Cosmic Love.
It was like that moment in a TV show where something unexpected happens and you have to pause the screen to take in what you just witnessed. Pretty little liars for instance when Ezra got shot or we thought he was A, I had to pause it on my phone to scream in frustration-to get out some built up anger at him. How could someone we thought was so lovable be so cruel.
My mind was left confused and betrayed at what my eyes were finding hard to believe was sat in front of them. My worse enemy with my greatest love.
It was something I thought I would never witness in all my years to live. Grayson knew about Olivia, he had seen her be a bitch to me himself with his very own two eyes. So to say I was betrayed would have been a understatement.
But like everything else, there had a perfectly explainable reason why Queen bitch was with Grayson.
But maybe I just didn’t want to hear it today.
Here I was worrying every second about Grayson’s well being and wanting to be by his side and yet he’s here with...Olivia! Olivia out of all people, okay I maybe would have understood if he was with Rachel but Olivia? That’s something I wasn’t expecting.
″Hey, Libby. Everything okay?″ Blake started placing his hand on my shoulder comfortingly, turning himself around to look at what I was gawking at with an open mouth.
He furrowed his brows at Grayson and Olivia, him too knowing how bitchy Olivia was.
I sat myself back down slowly, not being able to look at Grayson anymore. The two blondes and Becca both looking at me with concern flushing their faces.
″Libby, is everything okay?″ Becca spoke, placing her tan hand on mine.
I needed air, quick.
″Uh, yeah. I’m just gonna get a breath of fresh air″ I spoke, quickly sliding out of the booth and laying my head low staring at the stained red and white tiles as I walked to the exit as quickly as I could manage.
When I hurriedly walked out of the exit, the cold air instantly hit me making shiver, chills pinching down my spine.
I took in deep breaths, not caring how harsh the wind was hitting off my bare skin. My anxiety was at a peak and I needed it to just fuck off.
Overthinking was something I had grown accustomed to, but that doesn’t mean it gets any easier. If anything it gets worse, each time its chipping away at any normal part of me that is left until I become nothing but a star in the sky.
I wasn’t left long to my overthinking before I heard the diner door rush open and the sound of heavy footsteps coming from behind me, approaching me quickly.
I sighed, wanting just ten more minutes to myself and my thoughts.
I turned around to face not one but three people, two of which who I’d rather not see right now.
There was Grayson, Blake and mighty bitch Olivia.
The three of them stood in their holy glory looking like a bunch of superheros with their godly looks and hair blowing in the wind not making them unattractive like i’m sure the wind was making me. But who’s kidding, i’m a potato 24/7.
″Lib, just let me explain″ Grayson spoke, his voice husky and regretful? His whole face looked frowned, pale and frail.
I wanted badly to reach out to him, to hold his delicate face in my hands and kiss his plump lips like there was no tomorrow. But I couldn’t. At least not until everything is explained.
″Grayson, just leave her alone″ Blake butted in, placing his big hand on Grayson’s hard chest pushing him back from approaching me.
I smiled at Blake gratefully, but shook my head. ″It’s okay, Blake. I can handle this″.
He looked at me unsure, his eyebrows raised before sighing and giving me a quick nod and walking away to the side still within close reach of me in case things get ‘out of hand’ which I doubt will happen unless Olivia opens her big mouth.
She had a habit of opening that mouth of hers, especially for the boys in our year.
″Look Lib, I know what this looked like but it is anything but that″ Grayson reassured me, taking a step closer to me and placing his hand on my arm softly.
I recoiled back and shook his hand off my arm, taking a step back nearly tripping on a stone. Damn fudge nuggets!
″Want to explain then, Grayson?″ I nearly yelled out, getting a odd look from a middle aged woman with a short bob getting into her SUV. Go away Susan, go speak to some manager.
″Want to explain why I have been worrying sick about you all day, not being able to concentrate on anything but how you are, where you are? I thought you were in mourning Grayson! But then I come here after getting begged to and here you are with out of all people Olivia!″. I throw my hands up accusingly like a crazed woman. I’m sure if there were guys were here right now they’d be saying ‘WORLDSTAR’.
My breathing was now erratic and each word came out of my mouth like venom. Everything that was coming out of my mouth was against my own will and without second thinking like I had thought myself to do recently since I met Grayson.
″I can’t tell you″ He whispered, looking away from my crazed, wide eyes.
I narrow my eyes at his sly amour, ″You can’t tell me?″ I laugh ironically, shaking my head.
″And why is it that you can’t tell me, Grayson?″ I say, taking in deep breaths to try keep my cool which has been long lost by now and is probably roaming the streets of New York.
He sneaked a quick glance at Olivia who was standing there by herself, looking like she didn’t have a care in the world. But he quickly looked back in my direction, his eyes washed with worry. Don’t worry, Grayson. I caught you looking at her.
″I just cant, Lib. I would if I could, you know that″ He said gently, not letting my words affect him.
Olivia came out of her little corner, walking up to stand beside Grayson, ″I’ve got to go″ She said to him, not moving her beady little eyes over to me. ″Just remember what I said″.
He nodded his head at her, me standing there baffled by their little conversation. She walked away, brushing past me. But her face showed nothing, she looked down at the ground as she walked past which was not like her at all.
Something’s up with those two and I needed to get to the bottom of it.
″Still can’t tell me?″ I asked rhetorically, knowing full well he wasn’t going to tell me about their little agreement.
He frowned and shook his head. ″Lib, just believe me on this one. You wouldn’t want to know, if it was something you should know, I would tell you. But just keep your nosiness out of this one″ He softly chuckled, but I wasn’t finding this situation funny at all.
″I think I have a right to be nosy, Grayson. My boyfriend was out eating food with the girl I hate more than Donald Trump! Hell I would have understood if you were out with Rachel, but Olivia? Come on Grayson, you got to have more class than that″.
He reached out for me again with his arm, but I once again moved back and glared at him. ″Don’t touch me, Grayson. I don’t want to see you, not until you can tell me what you two were doing″ I said not only shocking him, but myself to.
I think the whole world and their Mothers know I can’t be away from Grayson for more than a day without getting withdrawal symptoms, I guess I used my words to scare him. I needed to know what those two were up two and if I had to lie myself into it, I would.
″Libby″ He whispered out quietly, his voice cracking making my heart flinch. ″Please, don’t leave me″.
″I won’t ever leave you, Grayson. I love you″ I blurted out without second thinking my words, his face dropped at my sudden confession, just like my heart had a that moment.
He placed his two warm hands on my cheeks and looked down sympathetically into my eyes, ″Lib, you know I could never love someone like you″.
That’s exactly what I had expected to go down, but this time I second guessed my words not wanting to bare the pain of the metaphorical slap that would hit my face if Grayson said he hadn’t loved me back.
So instead I said something else, ″I’m sorry, Grayson. I trust you, I do. But it’s her I don’t trust″.
I placed my hand on his cheek, taking in his scent that was all too familiar. But I could never get enough of it, ″I don’t want to see you, not until you can tell me what was going on. It’s me or her, the decisions yours″.
My words came out more harshly than I had wanted them to, but there was no turning back now, only forwards.
And so I turned around, he hadn’t uttered out a word but his breathing was hitched. As soon as I had turned away from him, I wanted to turn around straight away and tell him everything I said wasn’t true.
Because it wasn’t.
I hadn’t meant one word.
But this is what I needed to do.
To get answers.
To get trust.
″You said you would never leave me, Lib″ His hallow voice yelled out as I neared Blake’s car with him by my side.
I looked at Blake, searching for answers on what I should do. Should I listen to my head that was telling me to get in Blake’s car and not turn back or listen to my heart that was telling me to run back to Grayson and kiss him until our lips go numb.
The heart wants what the heart wants.