Chapter Forty-Two.Miss Me?
Song for this chapter: Chantel Kreviazuk-Feels Like Home.
I had missed him more than the scorching sun, it had been one week. One week without his hugs or tight embrace and gentle kisses against my skin. It had only been one week, but one week too long without him.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I stared at myself in the steamed up mirror, my hair was drenched, my skin soaked but I smiled in glee at the reveal of the purple rim no longer apparent on my skin but now was simply but what looked like a bag under my eye from the lack of sleep I’ve been missing the past seven days.
I wanted to surprise him, he texted me this morning like he did every day with a simple ’Good morning, Lib. I love and miss you. Forever and always-Gray x’.
Just his simple good morning and goodnight texts were enough to keep myself motivated to not give up on my plan. I wasn’t doing this for myself or just for him, I was doing this for us. And maybe one day I might regret it but as of now, I don’t.
It was now Monday, Gabriela had already dressed herself and was waiting patiently, watching a Disney show downstairs as I quickly towel dried my hair and threw on the outfit I had planned out the night prior which was just something casual but comfortable and warm.
″Libby!″ Jackson yelled from behind the bathroom door nearly knocking the door right off its hinges. I rolled my eyes at his impatience, ″Don’t make me knock this god damn door down, Libby. You’re in there over an hour!″.
I huffed quickly grabbing my makeup bag knowing it was better not to risk my life and just do my makeup in the bedroom with the sucky lighting.
He was just about to pound the door down again with his fist, obviously because he isn’t a morning person but before he could I quickly opened the bathroom door, ″Don’t get your panties in a twist, bro″ I chuckled sarcastically, briskly pushing past him and walking to Gabriela and I’s shared room.
I marched down my stairs taking two steps at a time when I finished doing my makeup which was just a bit of concealer, mascara and filling in my brows a tad since they were naturally full.
″You all set, Gab?″ I asked watching her bemusedly as she kicked her legs back and forth watching the channel I grew up watching but no longer recognised.
She groaned, ″Five more minutes″ She begged, not once taking her big eyes off the TV screen in front of her. One of these days her eyes are going to fall right out of their sockets from watching that TV too much.
I sighed knowing that we had a daily schedule to stick to, ″You have three minutes, Gabriela″ I informed her as I walked into the kitchen to grab an apple.
I opened the fridge grabbing the biggest, juiciest green apple I seen first and slammed the fridge shut once I was happy with how firm it felt. I sat on the bar stool that overlooked to see outside my kitchen window with the view of the trees outside and the isolated winter road.
There were no longer any leaves on the trees, just white crisp branches. It was my second favourite time of the year, second to Fall and I couldn’t help but smile at what the new year was going to bring.
No more school, no more tests, no stress.
Just life, love, and laughter.
Yeah, I couldn’t wait much longer for those to come.
But with Grayson, it felt as if I already had all of that. And I did, but school was something always on the back of mind and graduating soon was going to change my whole life. A new adventure, for the both of us.
I chewed on my apple, smiling like an idiot at the possible outcomes of life with Grayson. I knew each and every single one was going to be amazing no matter how rocky the journey there was going to be. We always went back to each other one way or another.
″Damn Libby, If I didn’t you know that well I would have accused you of being a psychopath″ Jackson greeted, oh so warmly.
You hear that sarcasm?
I rolled my eyes, ″The feelings mutual″ I deadpanned with a big fat smile on my face.
He looked at me like I was gum from under his shoe, ″You’re a weird one, Libby″.
″But you love me″ I joked in sing-song tone.
He sighed and briefly nodded, ″Unfortunately, I have to″.
″Well, that’s funny because I don’t love you″ I stuck my tongue out at him.
He mocked a hurt expression holding his hand to his heart, ″How dare you? You monster! How can I ever sleep again knowing my own sister doesn’t love me″ His voice was high pitched reminding me a tad of Grayson when he mocks me making me burst out in full blown laughter.
I couldn’t help myself, you should have heard his voice. It sounded like his balls got stuck in a blender turned on full blast. If he has any balls that is.
Okay, remove that image from my head!
What did I do!
I cringed back and scrunched my face up in disgust at the mere image of any male body part getting stuck in something that was capable of ripping it off. But please, be my guest and turn the switch on. He’s too cocky for my liking, and you can’t be cocky if you don’t have a-
″You know, Gabriela’s bus should be arriving any second now″ Jackson informed me making my eyes widen at the new found information.
Shit, I lost track of time.
I threw the apple at his head for good times sake making him groan and yell my name from the kitchen. But I acted as if I hadn’t heard him since I was now running for the living room where Gabriela was currently situated in her own little world.
″Gabriela!″ I sighed out of breath, I really need to lay off on those pancakes. But damn, they are just too good it all feels worth it when they hit off my taste buds.
″Come on″ I gestured towards the door, ″Time to walk you to the bus″.
She groaned and pouted up at me with her big doe eyes looking like Puss in boots from Shrek when he tries lure his victims to their untimely deaths. No missy, this isn’t going to work with me.
″Three more minutes, Libby. Please!″ She begged, her voice sad and high pitched.
I shook my head sternly, ″No Gab. You know the routine, now go grab your backpack″.
She sighed but did as I said and walked over to get her backpack from beside the couch, ″Have you done all of your homework?″.
She nodded handing me her backpack which I took and threw over my shoulder, ″Good, now come on. We can’t keep the bus waiting″.
She took her small hand in mine as we walked out into the freezing cold, of course after I forced her to put on her hat, gloves and scarf along with her coat. It was far too cold for her to walk out in just her clothes, I don’t want her getting frostbite.
The leaves crunched beneath our feet as we walked along the pavement to the end of the street, ″What’s Santa getting me for Christmas, Lib″.
This was something she had been asking since the first of November. I had already been buying her gifts here and there from the leftover money from Elizabeth’s paychecks she drops over. I say leftover money because I obviously have to buy groceries first.
But by the looks of things, I think Gabriela is going to be very satisfied this Christmas. If she was happy, so was I. And that’s all I wanted for Christmas, her happiness.
″I don’t know Lib, You will just have to wait and see on Christmas day″.
She pouted and continued to walk, ″When are we putting up a tree?″ She asked ecstatically, smiling brightly up at me. I returned her smile even though I was I didn’t have a prompt answer to her question.
Every year, since I had been growing up Dad would take us to the national Christmas tree fare in town where we would always pick the biggest and fullest tree we could get our hands on. It brought a smile to my face at the great memories we had together as a family.
I had tried every year to get a real Christmas tree for Gabriela’s sake and I had succeeded every year working my ass off taking jobs as a babysitter or house cleaner for local people just to earn money for them damn trees.
But it was always worth it taking a look at the bright smile across Gabriela’s face when she seen the tree and we got to decorate it together.
″Soon Gab″ I answered with a smile, ″Soon″.
She made a noise of excitement at my answer, ″Yay!″ She jumped gleefully still holding onto my hand.
I laughed at her response getting the reaction I was hoping for.
We stopped outside the bus, me giving Glen a quick wave as I took Gabriela’s backpack off my back and putting it across her shoulders and leaned down to be face to face with her, ″Be good in school, Gab″.
She nodded her small head, ″Yes, Libby″ She giggled.
″I mean it you″ I jokingly scorned her with a smile.
″I love you, Libby″ She said pulling me into a hug.
I smiled within the hug, ″I love you too″ I whispered.
″Now go on, remember be good″ I winked gesturing towards the bus.
She nodded rolling her eyes but got on none the less, I chuckled at the sass before thanking Glen and watching as it pulled away before I started to walk home again.
I shook off the coldness once I walked inside the front door, the warmness encasing me in a tight hug making me sigh in delight.
″Kim is picking us up in about five minutes″ Jackson informed me as he took a quick glance towards me before walking into the living room holding probably his second or third bowl of cereal. Seriously where does all that go?
I sat on my phone on the kitchen bar stool scrolling through my news feed which not surprisingly was empty. Going on my phone had been the only thing keeping me satisfied and occupied the past week, so I wasn’t the one bit surprised to see I was caught up with everything.
I sighed about to put my phone down on the kitchen counter before my phone lit up with a ‘ding’ sound, I put in my phone password and my face lit up, a smile etched across my face at the text by the person with the name ‘Mr.Gray x’.
I think it was pretty obvious who it was, it was a joke between us two about Christian Gray and Grayson that I just had to nickname him that as his caller ID.
′I miss you :( x′ It read making me smile mischievously.
Not for long, Gray.
′I miss you too, are you going to school today? x′ I asked just double checking he would be going even though I know he wouldn’t miss another day just because he thought I was. But I just needed to be extra sure, or else my whole little surprise on him would totally go down the drain.
′Sadly, yes. It’s hell without you though, it would much rather be doing something with you...maybe in my room? ;) x′
I smiled at his text, He had to add in something flirty or cocky sometime. I should have expected it. This was Gray we were talking about.
′BLOCKED′ I texted back jokingly earning a frown face emoji back in reply.
′Well looks like I got to make my way to hell now. I’ll take you later, Lib. I miss you, get better soon. I don’t think I control myself for much longer ;)x′
I rolled my eyes at his cockiness laughing lightly, ’Later, loverboy x’.
The sound of a car beeping from outside startled me making me drop my phone on the kitchen counter.
Please don’t be smashed, please don’t be smashed, please don’t be smashed.
I repeated over and over again in my head biting my lip, cautiously I picked up my phone and turned it around. I sighed in relief not noticing any scratches or cracks. I thanked the lord above for finally something bad not happening to me today.
Hopefully today would be my lucky day and I knew it would be because I would finally be back in Grayson’s arms.
I hurried up off my seat swinging my backpack over my shoulders and put my hands into my coat pockets mentally preparing myself for the cold that was soon to hit my already frozen solid face.
″Come on, Libby″ I heard Jackson yell from the hall making me huff. He always in an hurry when it came to seeing Kimberly. I mean I didn’t mind, I was happy for Jackson finally getting a girl he deserves and I was happy for Kimberly getting to be with her...crush? Ew. But not every girl can go out with the guy they like and Kim is, but unfortunately it’s my brother.
I was happy for them, but Jackson rushing me around when I’m freezing and dead tired was not something I enjoyed.
″Alright alright, I’m coming. Slow your horses″.
He rolled his eyes melodramatically at me when he noticed my presence, ″Come on, we can’t be late to school″.
I scrunched my face at him, LIES. ″Yeah sure, like that’s the reason you’re rushing me out the door. You just want to suck faces with Kimberly″.
I shook my head at the mental image of my brother and Kim...
Yeah, I’m going to stop right there.
I don’t want nightmares for the rest of my life although I already had them for a whole month catching them together in bed. Yuk, talk about wanting to scoop your eyeballs out with an ice cream scooper.
He smirked and didn’t deny my accusations making me roll my eyes and walk out in front of him, the harsh wind hitting off me like thorns on a rose bush. I scurried over to the mini cooper that contained the three blondes and Becca.
″Hey girl, we missed you″ They greeted almost like it was rehearsed.
″Hey″ I greeted back with a smile thankful to be in warmth again. ″I missed you guys too, did I miss out on any school drama?″.
I’m sure I hadn’t since they would have informed over text since we all had a group chat on whatsapp that we talked on nearly every two seconds about anything and everything.
″Besides Hunter getting escorted out of school by the principle?″ Britney said in a laugh, ″No″.
I cringed back at the mention of Hunter’s name but tried keep my cool not wanting to give anything away.
″What a shame, I would have liked some daily drama″ I shrugged.
Before the girls could muster up anything to reply, they were cut off by the passenger door opening and Jackson walking inside and quickly saying ‘hey babe’ to a blushing Kimberly. I cringed and look away as they embraced each other in a quick kiss before we started driving off to school listening to this months top hits on the radio.
We reached school not too longer after and my nerves were filled with excitement at seeing Grayson’s face again and inhaling his cotton and pine scent I’m addicted to.
″He misses you a lot, Libby″ Becca said from beside just before we all got out of the car.
I smiled at her, ″He’s been moping around without you in school. It’s quite funny actually, I wouldn’t like to see what would happen if one of you just dropped dead″.
I laughed at her not having the right words to reply to her with. But believe me when I say I think we would both die if not physically then mentally.
″So go on, what are you waiting for?″ She laughed motioning towards the school with her head, ″Go get him″.
I nodded at her in agreement letting out an unsteady breath. Why was I nervous all of a sudden?
This wasn’t like me, like at all.
I guess the best things in love are unexpected.
Which is why we love them so much.
Grayson came into my life unexpectedly and believe me I was the last person to believe I would fall for him. And I did, hard. And I guess I loved him even more for not giving up on me and knowing my true potential. He stuck with me and damn was I so glad he had.
I hugged Becca and whispered a quick thank you into her ear before getting out of the car and jogging rather quickly while trying to maintain my composure and not look like a jungle animal to the rest of the school population.
But I couldn’t help myself, I felt giddy and excited and yet still nervous.
But I knew looking into Gray’s eyes once again, all of my nervous feelings would simply fade away and I would be overcome with love and happiness.
The halls were filled with hormonal teenagers walking next to each other in oversized jumpers or flannels as they conversed about their lives or more so about someone else. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the topic of all of their conversations to be honest.
I scanned through the crowds for brown hair and glasses but came to no avail. I sighed pushing passed people who didn’t care to look where they were walking. Some people should just be locked up in a zoo since they all act like animals anyways.
I sneakily made my way to my locker hoping to not get noticed by a certain boy with glasses. There was a big chance he was at my locker since they were at the same block and so I duck my head down at the sight of any brown haired boy that crossed my vision.
Reaching my locker I smiled at the sight of Grayson right at his locker putting books into his backpack and putting away ones he no longer needs but felt bad at the emotion of sad and solemn wrote across his face.
I knew his face wouldn’t look like that for much longer.
I sneaked up behind him, looking around to make sure no one would blow my cover. I walked up behind him, careful not to make a sound which would be hard for him to hear anyways since he was listening to music with his earphones in.
I went up on my tip toes and sneaked my hands across his face to cover his eyes, I smiled still not making a sound but grateful for being in his embrace again. I felt at home now, complete.
He took out his earphones and sighed, ″Whoever this is, you can take your hands off me if you don’t want to get us both killed by my-″.
He stopped talking making me hold in a laugh.
″Is that pancakes I smell?″ He teased.
Shit, he knew.
He took my hands off his eyes and quickly turned around to meet my eyes. He smiled brightly making my heart swell and instantly pulled me into a tight hug. I laughed and hid my face in the crook of his neck inhaling his smell that I dearly missed.
Sometimes his denim jacket just doesn’t cut the cake.
″I’ve missed you″ I whispered.
″I’ve missed you too, Lib″ He mirrored my voice, hugging my even tighter if that was even possible. But I didn’t care in this moment, I was just enjoying being in his arms again.
He let me go of his death grip and placed his two hands on my cheek as if touching me was going to make sure I wasn’t just a figment of his imagination.
″Miss me?″ I chuckled.
He nodded like an obedient dog, ″More than you could put into words″ He answered before he leaned down and crashed his lips onto mine.
I didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, missing his sweet lips on mine. I finally had what I was craving for the past seven days.
Our lips moved in sync with each other’s and in this moment in time I couldn’t care less about who was watching or taking pictures to look back on for unexplained reasons I won’t delve into. But all I cared about in this moment was being back in Grayson’s presence with his lips on mine.
We eventually had to pull back for air, my hand going to his chest as I took in sharp intakes of breath to compose my oxygen levels and smiled up at Gray who was now breathing just as heavy as I was with a smirk playing on his lips.
That damn smile was intoxicating.
″Does that explain how much I’ve missed you?″.
″I don’t know″ I shrugged,″I think you might need to show me again later″ I replied back, my voice confident and not one bit shy.
He chuckled as he shook his head and looked down at the ground before looking back up at me with a breathtaking, mouthwatering smile that had my knees weak.
″You’ll be the death of me, Libby″.