The chess of my life

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Chapter 12 - Maddie

As I looked at the full barn, I realised how much slower my life was going to my best friends. She was now married and I was going to be single my whole life. She would graduate soon and I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I looked at Tamsin dance with Nathan on the dancefloor similar to how daddy did with me and Addie on Nathans and Jessicas wedding. I watched with a smile thinking about how Nathan had danced with us all like that at one point and Tamsin and Oliva had to wait the longest. “Maddie.” Maria called, I looked at her. “Again?” I asked her laughing. She grinned at me, take two trip to the toilet. When I was holding up her dress whilst she peed, she decided to make awkward conversation. “So which one of the groomsman are you going to sleep with?” she asked me. “none I swear ive blinddated them all?” I asked as a question. She thought about it. “I don’t think you’ve dated Lucas.” She said. “The one that looks Ethans and Averys age?” I asked. “hes 19.” She said. “you know I like older guys not younger.” I told her. “way older.” She said. “James is out.” I said. “I know.” She said. “He contacted me.” I admitted. “what.” She almost screamed. “I havent replied.” I said. “and your not going to right.” She said firmly. “I don’t know Maria, hes the only guy ive ever loved.” I said. “No, absoultly not.” She said. “Please give one of the grooms men a shot and forget that looser.” She said. “I am trying.” I assured her. “Hey do you need condoms for the night?” I asked sweetly. “I will have you know im on better birthcontrol than condoms and now we are married I enjoy bare.” She said. “ohh risky.” I said. she giggled. “Have you finished yet, as much as I love you. Holding your dress up for you to pee. Is not a lifetime hightlight.” I said. “there I was thinking you were used to it.” She said. “No that’s holding your hairback whilst you puke. Theres a difference.” I told her. “not much.” She said. “this smells better.” I said. “one day ill do this for you.” She pointed out. “I doubt it. Im thinking of the names for my cats.” I told her. “Puppy.” I started. “your going to call you cat puppy? Its going to have a complex.” She said. “Going to cost me a fortune in pet counciling.” I told her. “Hey maybe when you start knitting you can knit me some baby booties.” She said. “wait are you?” I questioned excited. “not yet, we both want to finish college. But we plan to start trying from next year.” She said. “omg.” I said. “I fell like your adulting.” I said. “Don’t worry im only trying to catch up with you.” She said. “im hardly adulting.” I told her. She stood up and I let her dress fall after she pulled up her underwear. We left the toilet stall. “your so adulting.” She said. “Your amazing at adulting.” She said. “the fact we both call it adulting possibly proves we aren’t adults.” I said. “you might be right.” She said. “What you think of the wine?” she asked me. “it was fruity not to strong.” I started. “Worth $600 a bottle?” she asked me. “no.” I said. “Mojitos?” she asked me. “Mojitos.” I told her. “hey you never did tell me what happened with Mojito guy?” she asked me. “I fucked him once and now hes going to be my boss.” I said. “ouch.” She said. “I know.” I said. “What about that guy at Disney?” she asked me. “it was 2 days of no strings attached in bed at night. Nathan got me my own room and I took advantage, its best he doesn’t know. Something about the most magical place on earth.” I said. “what about Nathans parents?” she asked me. “they treat me like Im one of the grandkids I got presents too and fussed over. Told im to skinny.” I said. “I brought your dress, you are to skinny.” She said. I rolled my eyes. “you have a smaller size.” I said. “but you have bigger boobs.” She moaned. I laughed. We washed our hands. “I love you Mrs Hill.” I said. “its Doctor.” She said with a grin. “I love you Doctor Maria Hill.” I said. “I love you Madeleine Prescott.” She said. “We sound drunk.” I said. “im not even tipsy.” She said. “me either lets go dance.” I said and that’s just what we did.

I looked at the email. I should of changed email address so this wouldn’t happen. Today was Christmas day and I was looking at my emails of Christmas wishes. I didn’t expect to have one from James but then hed been trying to contact me since he got out. even before then he wrote I never replied.

Merry Christmas Maddie I will always love you. I am so sorry I hurt you. Please let me explain. Please Maddie I never meant to cheat on you. I love you I always will. Please Maddie forgive me. give me another shot.

James x

It wasn’t much, but it was enough. I read it again. I sighed I tried to forget James. I tried. But he wasn’t the man who did the armed robbery and cheated on me in my memorys.

I looked at my roommate, we were way to young to be in this night club. Yeah sure it was an under 21 night. But wed got in without the stamp. In other words we could get drunk. Or so Rebecca told me. A guy across the room kept watching me. he looked about 20. I wouldn’t of even put him older. But he was a frat boy I knew that. He took a few steps over to me and offered me his beer. “you look thirsty.” He said with a grin. I was 16 I shouldn’t be in here! “Thanks.” I said, going to take a sip. The guy grinned at me. “there you are.” A guy said knocking the drink out of my hands. It fell to the floor with a smash which was swallowed by the music. It made me wonder if something made a noise but nobody heard it did it still make a noise. “Oh no.” he said. “its alright I will buy you a drink from the bar and hand it straight to you.” The guy said. The other guy left cursing. I looked at the guy. “what?” I asked him. “Darling your to sweet to be in here.” He told me. I blushed. “that guy was trying to spike you. I am sure a girl like you wants her first time to be special.” He said. I blushed. “Come on I will get you a drink.” He said taking my hand and taking me to the bar. “im not old enough.” I said. “trust me I will get you a drink youll love.” He said. he ordered me a sex on the beach. I took a sip. “its lovely.” I said and I meant that. “its also a virgin.” He whispered in my ear. “but our secret.” He said. I found myself blushing. The guy was hot. He was all muscle and taller than me. his tattoos on his arms took my breath away. I found myself touching one. “what does this mean?” I asked. “it something about my childhood.” He said looking awkard. “it doesn’t look happy.” I said. “it wasn’t.” he said. “im sorry.” I found myself saying. “My parents died I got over it.” He said. “my mom died last year and my twin sister died a few years ago. Im not over it.” I said. “im sorry.” He said. he stroked my bare skin. “I miss them both everyday.” I told him. “im sorry it must be hard being so fresh.” He said. “it is but its okay not to be.” I told him. “not to be what?” he asked me. “okay.” I said. He smiled. “I wish someone had told me that when I was younger.” He said. “im sorry.” I said. “you didn’t do that. By the look of you, you weren’t even out of diapers.” He said with a smile at me. “how old are you princess?” he asked me. I could lie, I could change the subject. “im 16.” I told him. he tuttted. “and does your daddy know your out on a school night?” he aked me. “Im here with my roommate.” I said. “boarding school?” he asked me giving my rolex watch a look and my designer outfit. Did I really look rich kid? Well okay I possibly did as I was. “college. Advanced program.” I said. “oh so you’re a genius.” He said. “Apparently so.” I said nervous. I hated when people called me a genius. “whats your major?” he asked me. “mathematics.” I said. he looked at me. “you want to be an accountant?” he asked me. “No.” I said. “then why math?” he asked me. “Math makes sense.” I told him. he laughed but it wasn’t like he was making fun of me like the guys at school. “I suppose it does when you can do it. I will let you in on a secret princess. I never could do math in fact I never graduated highschool, but I find a calculator works just as well.” He said. “oh maybe you just didn’t have the right teachers.” I said. “maybe I didn’t.” he sighed. “but its to late to go back and try and graduate now. im a bit to old.” He said. “your never to old to finish highschool. I will help.” I found myself saying. “That’s much to work even for a genius like you. Belive me im thick.” He said. “maybe your not, maybe you’ve just never had anyone belive in you before. so you’ve lost the belief.” I said. he blinked at me. “im James.” He said. ”Maddie.” I told him. “ah now it makes sense.” He said. “what does?” I asked confised. “your name is literally mad and you would have to be. To belive in me.” he said. “Maybe I am mad.” I said. “but I will let you know a secret. All the best people are.” I told him. “Alice in wonderland.” He said. I grinned at him. he knew that one. “Maddie.” Rebecca yelled she was holding two beers. “look what I scored.” She said. I had to smile at her. “Wheres Maria?” I asked. “She hasn’t arrived yet, shes saying she cant belive us.” Rebecca said rolling her eyes. “Would you like to dance Maddie?” James asked me. I nodded nervous. I went onto the dance floor with him. we danced he told me jokes which made me laugh and they weren’t the rubbish science jokes Nathan and my dad told. I swear sometimes Nathan got his jokes from dad. I laughed and smiled and James made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. When the night end I did find myself giving him my number. I never thought he would ring. He did.

I put way to much into that email. I sighed, not knowing what to do about it. Should I write him back or leave it? “Whats wrong auntie Maddie?” Derek asked. “nothing Derek.” I said closing the email and looking at the twins Christmas presents. “I aint cleaning the mess.” I said. “Maddie.” Nathan started. “Cleaning isn’t part of the deal.” I said. he chuckled. “no fires.” He said. “then don’t give them presents they can make fires with.” I suggested. “But then it wouldn’t be Christmas.” Greg said. “no big red buttons.” I said. “no big red buttons.” Everyone said. “Look auntie Maddie I have a big red button that says don’t painic.” Greg said holding it up. I laughed. “are you going to open your presents?” Greg asked me it wasn’t unusal for me not to till a few days after christmas. “yeah.” I said sitting forward. I opened the one from Avery first. Hey I hadn’t been with her when she went shoping. “Makeup?” I said confused. “it wrinkle cream. you know for your bags.” Avery said. “Thanks...” I said. She rolled her eyes. “its for your handbags Maddie not for your eyes. Open your other present it will make sense.” Avery said rolling her eyes. I opened the other present. A really nice messenger bag, wow designer. I looked at it not sure what to say. The kids and I don’t have a limit on our bank cards but I would never buy myself something like it. I would go cheap as its just as good. Sometimes even better. But this bag was gorgous. I smelt it, it was indeed leather. “Its to treat the bag, if and only if it needs it.” Avery said. “its gorgous Avery.” I said. “well your diaper bag looks horrible now and plus Tamsins no longer in diapers and you now carry bags.” She said shrugging. “its great.” And I meant it. “Open mine next.” Tamsin said handing me a present, she had made it in Pre-K and I wasn’t allowed to peak she made sure. Nathan wasn’t allowed to open his from her until the same time. Nathan gave me a smile. I smiled back. “together.” Tamsin said. we both opened it together. Inside was a salt dough hand, that had been painted. “its great.” I said pulling her into a hug. I hugged her tight. We opened the rest of the presents. Put a Christmas movie on. The kids all played with there toys. Rosie had the day off, but she had prepared most the dinner and Nathan was in and out the kitchen cooking it. “Why is the fire extinguisher empty?” Nathan asked coming in the room. “it wasn’t.” I said. “well it is now. who fancys finding a restaurant?” he asked. we all laughed. “Same as last year.” Ethan said laughing. “Rosie prepared two. Did you only set one on fire?” I asked. “yeah wheres the second?” Nathan asked. “Sit spend time with your kids there nice people.” I said to Nathan. “they seem very nice.” He said. I rolled my eyes and went kitchen. Rosies second Turkey and all the trimmings sat in the walk in fridge. She thought it was best not to make it obvious there was two. I cooked it up. I was still cooking 20 mins later when the bell went. Nathan went and got it. I heard friendly laughing. Who knew with Nathan what that was about. I finished cooking and was proud of the meal, I had kind of cooked. Alright I admit it I had reheated. It was even dished up for me. “Ethan Avery.” I yelled. They both came in. “Whos here?” I asked them. “Mr Rubin and his parents.” Avery said. I froze, “Are they staying for dinner?” I asked. “its not like we don’t have enough.” Ethan shrugged. “go ask. If they are set three more plates.” I said. “will do.” Ethan said. he run off. “Go start putting things on the table.” I said. “Alright.” Avery said. she took the potatos through. “Can we help.” Derek asked. “Can you take this too the table.” I said showing both cold things they did. Avery took more through. I took some through. Once it was all on the table. Everyone went and Sat including Dominic and his parents. Surely that was strange to them? “Nathan.” I said, indicating the turkey. He stood up and looked at the turkey Avery had brought in. it was the burnt lump that was covered in foam. “That looks exactly like the one at home.” Dominics dad said. “Go get the other one.” I said rolling my eyes. Ethan came in with the turkey I cooked after taking that one away. Nathan sliced it up. “So you burnt the turkey too?” Nathan asked Dominic. “I creameted it.” He said. I rolled my eyes. But we all ate the dinner the chat was friendly. Slightly awkward on Dominics parents side. “We didn’t mean to interrupt your family Christmas.” Dominics mom said. “its fine, we were going to go to a restaurant as well, but Maddie cooked a different roast.” Nathan said. “Rosie prepared two and told me not to tell him. the second was for emergency as she wasn’t having us have chinnese again on Christmas.” I said. “She has no trust in me.” Nathan said. “Do you blame her dad?” Derek asked eating his turkey. “No.” Nathan said. “Did you get anything nice?” Dominics mom asked Tamsin who was sat next to her. “Daddy got us all Aquire as we wouldn’t stop talking about it.” Tamsin said. “Is that fun?” Dominics dad asked looking like he wasn’t sure if Nathan had only brought the kids toys that were educational. “its brilliant.” Greg said. “I also got an all American dolly with all the clothes. So did Oliva.” Tamsin said. “Oh very nice.” Dominics mommy said. “And clothes that match the dollys for us.” Oliva said. The kids all talked. I got up taking plates. “Maddie.” Nathan warned me. I rolled my eyes. “im just getting desert.” I said rolling my eyes at him. I went and got the five deserts. Trifle, Christmas pudding, profiteroles, chocolate orange cheesecake, apple pie and yule log. Ethan and Avery came in, whilst I was fishing out the icecream. “start taking them in.” I said. “wow.” Avery said. She did indeed take two through. Ethan took two through then I took the icecream and 3 different kinds of cream in. “Ethan can you get the last desert?” I asked. “okay.” He said. he went off. “Wow this is impressive.” Nathan said. “she also did us snacks and sandwiches for later.” Derek said. “And popcorn necklaces I helped.” Oliva said. “I helped make the sandwiches.” Derek said proudly. “I helped by staying out the kitchen.” Tamsin said. “that was very good help.” I assured her. Nathan served everyone up desert. “Maddie?” Nathan asked me. “Yule log apple pie and profitorioals and cheese cake.” I said. “in the same bowl?” he asked me. I nodded. He shook his head but put them all in the same bowl. Only small slices of each. But I had a sweettooth. I had purposely not ate much dinner to have the deserts. When desert was finished and we were all stuffed Nathan asked if anyone would like coffee. I said yes same and Dominics parents and Dominic. Derek grabbed Dominic and took him to show his new chemistry kit. I took his parents to the movie room. “So what do you normally watch?” Dominics mom asked friendly. “Christmas movies, then a mommy dvd.” Oliva told her. “Oh.” She said confused. “Mommy made us loads of dvds so we can remember her and gives us advice when we need her.” Oliva told her. “oh I see.” She said with a sad smile. Dominic came back with Derek after a while. Nathan brought the coffees in. Avery sat on her new cell so did Ethan. Both texting. I pulled out my own. Maria was on her honeymoon. Rebecca was still in Milan and had been there 2 years now. She loved it there. I loaded up my emails to see if I got anymore emails of pictures from Maria. There was another email from James. I looked at it worried, but found myself opening it.

Maddie merry Christmas baby, today I cant stop thinking about our first Christmas together. I love you and always will. I made a huge mistake baby. please can we talk? I will always love you James

I looked at it again and again, wanting the words to change. “you alright Maddie?” Nathan asked giving me a strange look. “yeah.” I said. I closed the email. “Just seeing if I got any more pictures from Maria. The wedding photographer sent a few yesterday.” I said with a smile, I had to smile at that. James didn’t matter I told myself. But now he said about our first Christmas I couldn’t forget it.

James looked at me like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, a look I knew from my nephews. I didn’t know what to say to him, I had slept round his for the first time last night and we had done it for the first time last night. We had been kind of seeing each other for months, but I hadn’t been legal. I still wasn’t legal. I was 17 but I felt old enough to know what I wanted and as much as my family said james wasn’t the right person for me. everytime we were alone. He showed why I loved him. because I admit I did love him. “what did you do?” I asked him. “I got you something.” He said. “we said no gifts.” I said. “um excuse me, who broke that rule?” he asked me. “that wasn’t a gift.” I said blushing. “it felt like a hell of a good one.” He said running his hand over my naked body. “What did you get me?” I asked worried, James didn’t have much and I would hate for him to spend his hard earnt money on me. “That’s not how presents go Maddie.” He said. “still Mad.” He said kissing my swollen lips. I kissed him back. “hell maybe you could give me another present first.” He said. I blushed. “okay.” I said. “Okay?” he questioned me. “I don’t need to be at my sister until 12.” I said. “Where do they think you spent the night?” he asked me. “Marias.” I said. “oh, your family really don’t like me. they think im not good enough for you.” He said looking at me. “no they don’t.” I said. “Mads your father practically asked me how much it would cost me to leave you.” James said looking me in the eyes. Was that true? I didn’t want to know. I loved james but I would never choose between him and my family. It would always be my family. Even if they did say that. I loved James though. “Its not the fact they don’t think your good enough for me. it’s the fact they don’t like the 11 year age gap.” I said. “Age doesn’t simplise maturity baby and your older than anyone ive ever met.” James said. I run my hand over the tattoo on his chest. “Did this hurt?” I asked. “why baby do you want a tattoo?” he asked me. “yeah.” I said. “I want them to mean something though.” I said. “what would you like?” he asked me. I showed him the picture I had been drawing. “this is amazing Maddie. You could be an artist.” He said. “Really?” I asked him. “aren’t you the girl who told me, if I belived in something I could make it happen. Aren’t you the whole reason im doing my GED.” He said with a smile at me. “im so proud of you James. Anything you dream is possible if you go after it.” I said. “The same for you baby.” James assured me. running his hand over my nipples that grew hard. “On your 18th birthday.” James said. I looked at him confused. “if you still want this on your arm I will do it.” He said. “but did you want a tattoo early. As long as its hidden I will do it.” He said kissing my neck. “really?” I asked him. “yes.” He said. “I have a few I want.” I said. “oh really?” he asked me. I nodded. “Name your first baby.” he said. “Winnie the pooh and piglet.” I said. “aw that’s sweet, where do you want it baby?” he asked me. I pointed right where he kissed just before he asked. just above my boobs. “it means you cant wear low tops around your family.” He said. “I don’t anyway.” i pointed out. he smiled at me. “okay.” He said. “I will make it small so even if you do they cant see.” He said. “put this top on a second.” He said. I put on the really low cut top from his room. he said it was his roommates girlfriends, I belived him. I didn’t want to think of other ideas. He looked at me in the really low hung top. He got out a pen and just drew a line around the edge. “I cant see you ever wearing anything as reavealing as this.” He said. “except a bikini.” He said. “okay take off the top.” He said. I took it off. “It will hurt baby.” he said. “your going to do it now?” I asked taken aback. “unless you’ve changed your mind?” he asked me. I shook my head. “I know exactly what winnie the pooh and piglet best suits you. Ive had it saved since you told me.” he said. “since I told you?” I asked. “about your sisters and yours favioute Disney.” He said. He pulled out a tattoo stencil. I loved it. “I love it, it’s the one I looked at the other week when you took me to the shop.” I said with a grin. “I know.” He said. “I also added the quote for you.” He said. ‘If there’s ever a day when we can’t be together keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.’ I loved it. “I love it.” I assured him. he opened the needle. I watched nervous. “alright you got to listen to the rules and no showing your family. I could get into a lot of trouble. Tattooing a minor. Your just plain jail bait. It’s a good thing I love you.” He said leaning forward. He just said he loved me. I smiled at him I had to, it was the first time he ever said that to me. “I love you too.” I told him. he kissed me pulling me naked into his arms. We lost ourselves in each other. He said I still had a lot to learn. But he was going to have fun teaching me. he had only taken my v card Christmas eve and he wasn’t going to do to much my first time. he did that tattoo. He looked down at me as I flinched at the pain and he said. “your loosing a lot of v cards today. No more virgin skin, no more virgin.” He said with a grin. “I love you.” He said.

“Maddie.” Derek said. I blinked at him. “Sorry?” I asked missing what he said, missing the whole conversation. “Are you okay?” Nathan asked for the millionth time today I think. “just spacey sorry, what did you say?” I asked. “Did you want another coffee?” Nathan asked me. I had one didn’t I. I looked at the un drunk coffee in my hand. “I still got one.” I said. “Its cold, ill make you another one.” Nathan said taking it from me. I let it go. Dominic was still here, he looked at me worried. Possibly wondering with how spacey I was, how bad I was going to be at work in two weeks. “Are you worried about starting work?” he asked me. “no im excited.” I admitted blushing. How could I explain my ex had emailed me and I kept thinking about him. when the moment I looked at Dominic I remembered his naked body instead of James. How I remembered the feel of his hands and mouth on my body, instead of James, I blushed more. It was worse with my hair colour you could tell. He watched me curiously. My phone beeped. I looked down at it worried.

Maddie please baby just another chance, please come meet me. Im not asking you to forgive me. just listen to me I love you.

I read it and I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t responded. My phone beeped again. “Maria sounds like shes not doing much on her honeymoon.” Nathan said coming in the room. I looked at the message that arrived.

Maddie one shot please baby.

I didn’t know what to do. I could block him. should I reply telling him not to reach out to me.

Maddie i know I don’t deserve you to hear me out, but please baby.

I put it down i didn’t want the excuses. “Can we watch mommys dvd?” Tamsin asked. “We can leave.” Dominic said looking worried that he was interfering. I looked back at my cell worried as it beeped 7 times in a row. What the hell. Had he been drinking. Was I just a drink email? Yeah that made sense. Although hed sent a few before this. Never this many and I hadn’t responded to any. For all he knew I could have a new email address. “Maddie are you okay?” Nathan asked me. “yeah fine.” I assured him putting my beeping phone into my pocket. “Are you up to watching the dvd?” he asked me. “why not?” I asked. he gave me a funny look. Was I really being that spacey? “Everyone up to it?” Nathan asked. all the kids nodded. Greg even put it on. “we should get going.” Dominics mom said worried to be interfering. “its nothing bad, its just home videos of previous Christmases.” Derek told her. “if your sure.” Dominic said worried. Greg pressed play. I pulled Tamsin and Oliva onto my lap. My phone still beeping. “Maddie answer Maria or put her on silence.” Nathan said rolling his eyes at me. “okay.” I said. I put my phone on silence. I put it away. the Christmas home video started. It started with a few pictures of Nathan over his first Christmases then Jess. It moved onto picture of Christmas events at school with them. Then mine and Addies first Christmas pictures. Addie and I were in matching Christmas dresses. “Aww.” Dominics mom said. then our second Christmas. A small video of Addie running around sneaking things and bringing them to me. cookies. “Addison wheres the cookie?” Jess asked with a grin. “dono.” She said. “Madeilne wheres the cookie?” Jess asked baby me who was sat in a matching dress to Addie by the Christmas tree. “ummy.” I said. “didn’t I say no cookies?” she asked us. “Naphone sed we cood.” I said. I spoke but didn’t walk. Addie walked but didn’t speak much. Even though I still hid behind Addie even at that age and let her do the talking. “Come on the dinner.” Jess said. “Nathan put the camera down.” Jess said rolling her eyes. “not yet.” Nathan said from behind the camera. “Come on then dinner.” Jess said. she went to pick us up. “Jess let them do it.” Nathan said. Addie ran off. Nathan followed her with the camera. She looked back at us and realised I wasn’t with her. she ran back. Nathan turned the camera on me crawling. Jess pulled me into a standing postion. I stood there. “Nathan can you skip?” I asked rolling my eyes. “Nope.” He said laughing. I rolled my eyes. I stood there wobbling. “come on Maddie. I got you.” Jess said leaning her hand down to me. I didn’t take her hand. I didn’t like being stood obviously. I didn’t know how to get back down though without hurting myself as I looked at ways back down. I just stood there. Addie came back. Addie pushed me back down. I cried hey I was 14 months. Who could blame me. “Addison don’t push.” Jess said to Addie picking me up. she then picked up Addie. “How old were they?” Dominics mom said awing. “14 months, Addison walked well she ran and Maddie talked.” Nathan said with a smile. The next one started. Both Addie and I were two. In matching dresses. I was sat so I was behind Addie. If you wanted me you had to go past Addie. We had a little tea set. “more tea Addie?” I asked Addie, not aware of Nathan with the camera. “yes please Maddie its such lovely weather.” Addie said. “its.” I started. I looked up at Nathan and saw him and the camera. Addie turned around. “Naphone.” She said putting her hands on her little hips. “im sorry girls. Do you like your presents?” he asked laughing. I nodded. “yes can we have cookies?” Addie asked him. “Do you want cookies too?” Nathan asked the otherside of the camera. I nodded. “whats the magic words?” Nathan asked me. “Please Naphone.” Addie asked. “Please Giant.” I said. Nathan handed us two gingerbread men. “don’t tell your mommy.” He said. “or Jess.” He added. “Can we have tea?” Addie asked handing him the empty tea pot. “water.” Nathan said. “juice.” Addie asked hopeful. “Hmm.” Nathan said. “please.” We both said together. “okay but our secret.” He said. he put the camera down on the floor but left it on. “Look Maddie mine doesn’t have arms.” Addie said. I looked at the camera. I crawled over. I poked it. “we aren’t allowed to touch.” Addie warned. I turned it around and it was still recording. Nathan laughed. It caught him coming in with the little kettle. “Hows the cookies?” Nathan asked. not aware of his camera. He gave us the tea pot. “thankyou giant.” I said. “your wellcome kiddo.” Nathan said. Jess came in then. She looked at him and us with a smile. “when do you go back to college?” Addie asked. “Next week but guess what, its only a few weeks and we will be back.” Jess said. “Okay.” Addie said. “Mommy.” Addie yelled as mom came in the room. Mommy picked her up and hugged her tight. I saw Jesses face she looked slightly hurt. I didn’t get it. “Didn’t I say no cookies.” Mom asked Addie looking at the cookie. She didn’t look cross. “we had tea party.” Addie said. “Ahh and you needed cookies and juice?” Mom asked her, she tickled her. “Maddie.” Nathan said putting the camera back on me. I gave him a look. “Giant camera off.” I said. he laughed and turned it off. The next one that came up, we were opening Christmas presents. Nathan and Jess were sat on the floor with us Dad was holding the camera could tell because his finger was over the lense slightly. “Dad finger.” Jess said laughing. “oh sorry.” Dad said he moved his finger. “how do you work this thing?” Dad asked. “is it on?” he asked. “its on.” Nathan said looking at it. He had me on his lap, Addie was on Jesses. “What you got?” Nathan asked Addie who was opening the present. “WINNIE THE POOH!” Addie said excited “I love it.” She said holding it tight. “Maddie what you got?” Jess asked me as I opened my present. “Piglet.” I almost whispered. “What was that?” Jess asked. “shes got piglet.” Addie said. “Piglet?” Nathan asked me. I nodded. I hugged it tight to me, using it to hide me from the camera. “Look I made up a dance.” Addie said she pressed play on the little tikes player we got. She showed the dance Dad recorded her. a lot of clapping. “Now Maddie.” Nathan said to me, when Addie had finished. I looked at him. “Jess you forgot this present.” I said handing her a little box. I looked at Nathan in the room. he was choked up. like he had last year. Seeing me and Addie and seeing him propose to Jess. I looked back at the video. Jess had opened the ring. “What?” she asked directly at Nathan. Nathan went down on his knees before her. “Jessica Presscot, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” Nathan asked her, he was nervous. “Say yes Jess.” Addie said grinning clapping. “Yes.” Jess said looking shell shooked. “Yes.” She said again to Nathan. “Yes.” She said before they kissed. “ewww.” Addie and I said. “do you know how many germs are in a kiss.” Addie said. “How many?” Nathan asked once they broke away they were smiling. “Maddie.” Addie said. “roughly 700 in the mouth.” Little me said. “who told you that?” Mom asked off the camera. “Daddy.” I said. “Okay.” Dad said laughing off the camera. “theres a story behind that.” He said. “whats the story?” Jess asked laughing but looking at her ring a silly smile on her face. “they were sharing a lolly.” He said. Nathan scoobed Addie and me up and hung us upside down. “Careful.” Mom yelled. “Your finishing college first.” Dad said firmly off the camera to Jess. “I know dad chill.” Jess said rolling her eyes. The next Christmas started, Addie and I weren’t wearing matching dress. “the year of the matching outfit refusal.” Nathan said with a smile. I stuck my tounge out at him. Addie was doing a dance. I was sat playing. “Maddie whats 11x8.” Dad said off the camera. “88.” I said. “whats 22x86+21.” He asked off the camera. “Dad don’t ask her that.” Jess said handing me a present. “1913.” I said after a few seconds. “whats. 1913x84?” he asked me. “dad don’t confuse her.” Jess said rolling her eyes. “160692.” I said. I started opening the present. “Thankyou.” I said looking at the present confused. “what is it?” I asked. “it’s a math game I thought you might like it.” Jess said. “What 160592÷8?” Dad asked me off the camera. “20086.5” I said. “Dad.” Jess said. “What?” Dad asked. “Its Christmas.” Jess said. “Yeah and Maddie likes math.” Dad said. “wheres Giant?” I asked Jess. “he’ll be round later.” Jess assured us. “But hes always here for presents.” Addie said. “yeah he will be, hes just getting the last present.” Jess said with a grin. “Jessica Im not sure.” Mom said. “come on you agreed.” Jess said. Mom sighed. That’s him now I think.” Jess said with a grin. “Why don’t you two go see what hes got.” Jess said. Addie took my hand. We both walked off. We got to the door. “YAY!!!!” Addie screamed. I grined too. Nathan was stood there with a dog. A Xoloitzcuintli he wasn’t young in fact he was an old dog. “Whats his name?” I asked. “Max.” Nathan said with a grin. he was gorgous and hell I missed that dog. “hes not a puppy girls hes actually quite old.” Nathan said. we had both asked santa for a puppy that year. “but he loves children.” Nathan said. “and hes okay?” Dad said worried. Nathan nodded. “hes a therpy dog and hyperagetic just what the doctor said to get.” Nathan said. “I love him.” Addie said running over. “careful great him calmly.” Nathan said. “sit.” He said, Max sat. Addie stroke him. “Maddie its okay.” Nathan said looking up at me. I went down a lot slower. The dog licked my hand as if it knew I was less confident. I stroked him. we laughed. “I love him.” Addie said with a grin. That year ended. “I miss Max.” Ethan said. “Daddy can we have a dog?” Derek asked. “Um.” Nathan said. “you walked yourself into that.” I said with a smile at him. “I put a puppy on my Christmas list.” Tamsin said sadly. “Santa got me a toy.” She said. “you weren’t clear enough.” Oliva said. “Maybe next Christmas.” Nathan said looking like a deer caught. “When you can clean up after a dog yourselves.” I said. The next year started. Addie was laying on the couch Max infront of her. I was sat with a deck of cards. Addie wasn’t well at all that Christmas. Jess put her hand on Addies forhead. “You don’t feel hot baby.” Jess said. “my tummy hurts.” Addie said. I was looking at her. “maybe it was all the cookies you ate.” Mom said coming in the room. she sat on the floor next to me. “Maybe.” Addie said. “Nathan do you ever put that camera down?” Mom asked. “nope.” Nathan said. Mom sighed. “Come on girls open your presents.” Mom said. “not till daddys home.” Addie said. “I told you both, Daddy might not make it home this year. Hes snowed in the airport.” Mom started worried. “Why don’t we record it and daddy can watch when he gets home?” Jess said encouragingly. I moved and went and sat on the couch next to Addie. I climbed over her and Max. I slipped in behind her. “Addie don’t feel well can we open our pressies later?” I asked. “okay.” Jess said. she kissed Addies head. Nathan turned the camera off. It came on a few days later. Addie still didn’t look well. “Addison.” Nathan said. “what you got?” Nathan asked. “A book on baby names?” Addison said confused. “What you go Maddie?” Nathan asked me. “A picture of babys two? Me and Addie?” I asked. “Not you and Addie.” Jess said. “Are you pregnant?” Addie asked. “yes baby.” Jess said with a grin. “im pregnant.” She said excited. “Twins like me and Maddie?” Addie asked. “Yeah.” She said. “Why do you look worried Maddie?” Nathan asked. “Addie isn’t well.” I said. “im fine.” Addie said. “Babys Maddie!” Addie said excited. But she wasn’t dancing like she normally would. I watched my sister worried. “Maddie it wont change we will still see you.” Nathan said sitting next to me. “I know.” I said. I looked at the babys with a smile. “Can we really help you choose names?” Addie asked. “yeah ofcourse baby.” Jess said. “What about you kiddo?” Nathan said. I nodded. I stroked Max who kept pushing his nose into Addies stomach. “Max that hurts.” Addie moaned. Max left her and I hugged him stroking him. Me and Addie sat holding the book and picture looking at names. “I like Avery.” Addie said. “then her name begins with an A like mine.” Addie said. “What about you Maddie?” Nathan asked. I nodded. “What if a boy?” Nathan asked. “Alex.” Addie said. “what do you think Maddie. I nodded. “So I almost got called Alex?” Ethan asked. “no Avery almost got called Alex.” I said with a smile he rolled his eyes at me. “What about the other baby?” Jess asked. “Mary.” Addie said, I screwed up my nose. “no that’s eww.” I said. “Marys eww?” Nathan laughed. “I like Emily.” I said. “Why?” Nathan asked. “theres a girl at school called Emily and Maddie keeps playing with her rather than me.” Addie says. “I want to play you, but you keep playing with Charlotte and Terra and leaving me.” I said. “well you keep wanting to play boring games.” Addie said. “Its okay to want separate friends.” Mom said. “But Maddie isn’t playing anymore, she wants to play with stupid cards.” Addie said. “pokemon isn’t stupid.” I said. “it is.” Addie says. “its not its fun.” Little me said. “it’s a math game.” Addie said looking at Jess hoping shed understand. “its not, it’s a card game.” I said. “I thought pokemon was banned at your school. I thought I told you, you weren’t to take your cards anymore.” Mom said firmly. “please mommy.” I said. “No its baned for a reason Madeline.” Mom said firmly. I didn’t say anything in my defence. “I still like Emily.” I whispered after a while. “Fine I like Ethan.” Addie said. “So Alex or Avery and Emily or Ethan.” Nathan said. “yeah.” Addie said. “we will think about it. Its not a done deal.” Jess said. she was smiling. She put Addies hand on her stomach. “Come here kiddo.” Nathan said. “Why Giant?” I asked. “I got another present for you.” Nathan said. he handed me a little present. I held it. “what is it?” I asked. “Open it kiddo.” He said. I looked at Addie she didn’t have one. I didn’t like having a present when she didn’t. “Wheres Addies?” I asked. “its to share same as Max is.” Nathan said. “Do you want to come open it baby?” Nathan said looking at Addie. “Can Maddie come me.” Addie said. I nodded and went to her. I held it to her. She opened it I watched. “Its little socks.” Addie said. “you can both bring them for the babys when theyre born.” Nathan said. “Can we?” I asked. “We are going to be aunties.” Addie said with a grin. Jess looked sad, she run her hand though Addies hair. “Yeah baby.” she said weakly. I looked at Addie on the screen trying not to cry. It faded. Ethan and Avery were a few months old, they were sat up under the Christmas tree. I was sat with them. It was a very subdued Christmas and no Addie. I looked away from the screen. Tears running down my face. I hated not having Addie. “Ethan.” Nathan called. Ethan looked up and clapped. “Avery.” Nathan called she crawled away. I went and grabbed her and put her back. “Maddie.” Nathan said. “Can I go my room please?” little me asked weakly. “dinners going to be in a miniute. Don’t you want to open some pressies Kiddo?” he asked. “no thankyou Nathan.” I said. “Okay kiddo I will call you when dinners ready.” Nathan said. “come Max.” I said Max came with me. That Christmas was rather a depressing one. We were all hurt, I looked at it burying my head in Tamsins hair. The next year started. Ethan and Avery were toddling around. Max kept getting in the way of the camera. I was sat with daddy playing a game of chess. I pressed the timer. “Maddie are you going to come open some pressies?” Nathan asked. I shook my head. “Avery and Ethan are. Do you want to sit with them?” Jess asked encouragingly. I nodded. I went and sat with them. Ethan and Avery opened there presents I helped them. That Christmas was less depressing. The next started. Avery was dancing so was Ethan. They both were running around I was 9. I looked at Nathan with the camera. “Nathan.” I said. “yes kiddo?” he asked. “Can I take Max for a walk?” I asked. “don’t leave the grounds.” Nathan said. “stay in view of the house.” He said. I nodded and run off saying come Max. they videoed the twins. It wasn’t as depressing. When I came back I helped the twins open there presents. But I didn’t open mine. “Maddie just one pressie?” Jess said encouragingly. “Later.” I said. “Okay kiddo.” She said. the next Christmas I was 10. The twins 4, they were laughing and dancing and I was sneaking them cookies. “Maddie did you just give the twins a cookie?” Nathan asked. “yeah Nathan.” I said. “Come here monkey.” He said scooping me up I went laughing. It was a lot more a relaxed Christmas. But I didn’t open presents. The next Christmas I was 11 and the twins 6. “Okay why don’t you open the pressies together.” Jess said worried. They all opened the pressies me included two blue baby socks. “me and Ethan?” Avery asked. “no.” Nathan said. “twin again?” dad asked. “Yeah obviously they run in the family. “So we are going to have little brother and sister?” Avery asked. “yay a sister not a smelly brother.” Avery said. “I don’t smell. Mom tell Avery I don’t smell.” Ethan said. “you smell fine bud.” Nathan assured him. “See daddy says I smell fine.” Ethan said. “he also says terrible jokes.” Avery said. “still tell the horrible jokes.” Avery said in the room. “hey.” Nathan said but he was smiling. “So I get a little sister.” Avery said clapping. “actually sweetheart.” Jess said. “They are both boys your going to have two little brothers.” Jess said. “no I want a sister!” Avery wined. “thanks sis.” Greg said. “don’t worry about it.” Avery told him. I had to smile. The next year started. Two very small baby boys. I was stroking a very old dog. It was a happy Christmas but I still didn’t open my presents. “Auntie Maddie.” Ethan said. “this ones for you.” He said. “ill open it later.” I said. “come play chess with me.” I said. “okay.” He said. Ethan and I played chess Avery danced around, all the adults fussed over the very small boys. The next year the boys were still not walking. I was 12. It was a fun Christmas it snowed on Christmas, Nathan and Jess and mom took us outside. Dad stayed in with the babys. Nathan video recorded us making a snowman. It was a fun Christmas. The next year came the boys were walking around. I was 13. “Maddie where are you going school?” Nathan asked. “highschool you know that.” I said rolling my eyes at him. “and what do you think of highschool?” he asked me. “its boring.” I said. “Nathan don’t tease her.” Jess said. she scooped me into a hug. I hugged her. I looked at the very old dog who was sat next to me. “Mommy can we have a puppy?” Avery asked. “Not currently, maybe in the new house.” Nathan said. “I asked mommy.” Avery said. “I agree with daddy.” Jess said. Jess went up and said. “I wish you would put that camera down.” she said. They kissed a lot of voices said eww. The room included. “hey.” Nathan said. “its still eww dad.” Avery said. The next year I was 14. “Is santa real?” Avery asked me. “yes.” I said. “okay.” She said. ha perfect jess cutting the rest of that conversation. Max wasn’t there that year. I also opened my presents. “My own cell?” I asked. “its for when you go out with Maria.” Dad said. “shes a good driver.” I said. “I still don’t like the idea of you in the car with her.” Dad said. “shes 16 almost 17 daddy its not like shes not passed drivers ed.” I said. “I still don’t like it. So your to ring me if you want to go in the car with her.” Dad said. “how are you going to cope in two years when I go away to college.” I said rolling my eyes. “Madeline.” Dad said. “its true, god two years.” Mom said looking worried. She was so skinny. “And where are you thinking?” Jess asked me. “Yale.” I said. “Yales too far away for a 16 year old.” Dad said firmly. “unless your going to stay in highschool two extra years.” Dad said firmly. “what about if I do 2 years local then when im 18 go away to yale?” little me suggested. “hmm, we will discuss it closer to you going to college.” Dad said. “Yes dad.” I said rolling my eyes. “don’t sas your dad.” Nathan said. “Whats this I hear about a boyfriend.” Nathan teased. “omg Jess you told I cant belive you, I hate you.” I said. I run out the room. “the year of the teenager.” Nathan laughed in the room. “I hate you.” I mumbled. He chuckled. The next year was subdued again. Mom was in hospital, we also weren’t at dads and mine we were are first Christmas here. I opened presents looking like I didn’t want to still. “Its okay if you don’t want to open them.” Jess said. The kids didn’t understand. “is dad coming?” I asked. “hes at the hospital.” Jess said. “Hes going to pick you up after dinner and take you and me.” Jess said. “okay.” I said looking at the present. “Can I take them to the hospital?” I asked. “ofcourse.” Nathan said. I left the presents. The kids all opened presents. It was okay they didn’t let me be depressed. The next year was at theres again. Dad was there. I was 16 mum was gone. We all played boarded games. The next year I was 17. I swallowed. “Maddie whats wrong?” Nathan asked me. “nothing.” I said. “Hows college?” Jess asked. “okay.” I said. “your teachers sing your praises do you still want to transfer next year?” Dad asked. “No its fine, I want to stay close.” I said. “Maddie you cant stay close for a guy.” Dad said firmly. “Dad I aint staying close for James god.” I said. “then why don’t you want to go Yale anymore?” he asked. “I don’t want to be that far away. okay. All my friends are here. Maria and Rebecca and James. Then you aren’t young are you.” I said. “Maddie.” Dad said. “I just want to stay. Two years ago you were on my case because I wanted to go to college away from here. Now you want me to go. just because you don’t like the guy im dating.” I said. “Its not that Maddie.” Dad said. “Jess help.” Dad said. “Dads just worried Mads.” Jess said. “he don’t need to worry James is great, I love college here. Im top of my class and Im the youngest still. Cant I ever do anything right.” I said storming out the room. I felt so guilty about that Christmas, I was in pain from the tattoo and between my legs. I had also started to worry about how James and I hadn’t used protection. “That better not of been a tattoo I saw.” Dad said firmly. I was already out the room. “shes 17 noone would tattoo her without id.” Nathan said. “Auntie Maddie has fake id.” Ethan dopped me in. “that’s how they found out.” I groined. “hey I was 10.” Ethan said. “I still blame you.” I mumbled but I smiled at him. the next year I had the full tattoo sleeve. The kids were all opening presents. James was there. “James.” Nathan said firmly. “Yes?” James asked. he was running his hand between my theighs. “What do you plan to do for a living?” Nathan asked, but I could hear his teeth grinding. “I don’t know, Maddie is helping me complete my Ged ive only got a bit left. Maybe when ive got that I might get a better job.” James said. “So your focusing in on your Ged?” Nathan said. James moved his hand so it went around me rather than my theigh. “Yeah turns out you need to graduate school to get a good job. who knew.” James said. “everyone.” Ethan said. “Auntie Maddie have you read?” Ethan asked me. I went into a conversation with Ethan about the book series. James kissed me whilst I was talking to Ethan. “James please don’t.” I said jokingly pushing him away. “Wheres dad?” I asked Jess. “Playing chess with Greg.” Jess said. “ill go talk to him.” I said standing up. “Put your jacket on. You know how much he hates your arms.” Jess said firmly. “but you don’t mind them?” I asked making sure. “they mean something to you, that’s all that matters. They make you happy.” Jess said. I went out the room. Nathan was still recorind Derek and Avery. “How much.” Nathan asked. “Your still trying to buy me to dump her?” James said. “I don’t care about your money.” James said. “I care about her.” James said. “What would she think if she knew her dad hired a private investigater to stawk her boyfriend.” James said with a smirk. “He did what?” I asked Nathan. I had to. “Nothing important Maddie. Kids where is the remote.” Nathan said. “Like I said James how much.” Nathan demanded. “I love her, cant you understand that money doesn’t always do the talking.” James said. he loved me? he wouldn’t let them buy him to leave. I went back in the room then, I looked confused. “whats wrong Maddie?” Jess asked me worried I realised she was holding a baby Oliva. “Dad just called me Jessica.” I said. “what?” Jess asked. “he also made a mistake with the chessboard.” I said. “what?” Nathan asked. Derek piped up from the floor. “he keeps calling me Ethan.” “What?” Jess asked. “well he is old.” James said. I was worried and I didn’t want him making jokes. “the other day he quoted napolion Hill to me. but then said it was Lincon.” I said worried to Jess. “ill talk to him.” Jess said. she held out her arms to me. I went and hugged her. “Are you going to open your pressies yet?” she asked me. “okay.” I said. “finally open what I got you first.” Ethan said. I smiled and opened his first. “Yes I was going to buy this.” I said. “its on your list. Can I borrow it when your done?” he asked. “ofcourse.” I said. I opened it. “open then read.” Nathan laughed he took the book from me. I chuckled. I played with the kids. James left after giving me loads of kisses. Dad and Nathan hated it you could tell. The next Christmas I was 19. I was sat holding Oliva on the floor, my arm wasn’t covered but I had taken out the stupid nose stud from the year before. “im so glad that turned out to be magnet.” Nathan said. “after reading people say they lost the sense of smell out that nostril.” I said. he laughed. “Look.” I said putting the toy on the floor. Jess was smiling at us she looked fine. She went down hill so fast. The next Christmas I was 20. Jess announced she was pregnant again. “Really mom dad its called birthcontrol you really need the sex ed lessons there making us take.” Avery said. I laughed. That was the last Christmas. Jess came on. “Merry Christmas babys I love you all, I hope this Christmas is as special as all the previous ones. I love you all. I hope santa brought you everything you asked for. Mommy loves you all. Even you Nathan And Maddie.” Jess said. I rubbed my eyes. “You better be adding the Christmases I miss.” Jess said. “love you all merry Christmas and happy new year.” She said. it ended then. “Well.” Nathan said worried. “This Christmas is better than a few.” Avery shrugged. “but we still havent got the puppy.” Ethan said. “Dad can we have a puppy.” Derek asked. “why don’t you all go play with your toys and I will set up the buffet you can all help yourselfs too.” I said. “okay.” Tamsin said she ran off. “Coffee anyone?” I asked. “yes please.” Dominics mom and dad said. Dominic said yes so did Nathan I walked to the kitchen. I pulled my cell out. 270 emails? Really? I decided I wasn’t going to open them. Id block him. there was desperate and then there was that. I blocked him. I started making the coffees whilst I plated up the snack food. “are you okay?” Dominic asked his voice made me jump. “yeah.” I said. He looked at me. “you know Nathan trying to pay him to leave.” Dominic started. “it was the right thing. I get it.” I said. I did. “Christmas is hard for you.” He said. “its not when I see the kids happy.” I said. I started washing up. My phone was still beeping. I looked at it and saw I had another 30 emails. I looked at my phone worried. I blocked the other email address. Id never had a previous from them. It still kept beeping. “Whats going on?” Dominic asked looking at my cell. “Just stuff.” I said. he gave me a look that said he weren’t buying it. “Alright.” He said. “but your alright?” he asked me. “Seeing Addie is always hard.” I admitted. “Im sorry.” He said. “I know I cant pretend she wasn’t ever there. but seeing it year by year and the year I lost my sister and mom. Is always hard. Then seeing how it just stopped 3 years ago.” I said. “You’ve taken pictures though.” He said. “yeah and videos.” I said weakly. “then does it need to stop. Just add them after Jess stops talking or make a new dvd.” He said. “its not the same.” I said. “I bet they thought the same when they carried on after Addie passed away.” Dominic said. i sniffed trying not to cry. He hugged me. What? I put my head on his chest and found myself crying. When I was done he said calmly. “Want help making the coffee my mom doesn’t take sugar.” He said. I nodded. He made the coffee pot. I stood there washing up looking at him worried. “Thankyou for an amzing dinner.” He said. “your welcome Rosie made it. I just heated it.” I said. “Madeline can you not take even a small complement?” he asked me. I blushed. “You need to learn how to when your working with my team in a few weeks.” He said. “ill try.” I said. “good that’s all I can ask from you.” He said. “Maddie.” He said looking at me as I washed up. “Its okay to be upset. No one asks you to be strong.” Dominic said. no they just expected it off me. He took the coffees on the tray and I finished up washing up. When I came out Dominic and his family were gone. Theyd had a few snack bits id laid out then gone. I looked at the kids watching a Christmas film with there dad. Nathan saw me and patted next to him. I went in and slotted next to him. “im sorry I was a difficult teenager.” I said. “its fine Averys giving you a run for your money.” He said kissing my head. “are you okay?” he asked me worried. “can we talk about something serious when the kids are in bed.” I said. he nodded looking worried. My phone was still vibrating.

When the kids were in bed, Nathan looked at me. “are you okay from seeing Addie?” he asked me. “it hurts.” I said truthfully. “its like it was different lives.” I said. “I know kiddo.” He said worried. I put my head on his shoulder. “Are you mad at me for my conversation with James?” he asked me. “no.” I said. “But that’s what I need to talk about.” I said. “Maddie I just wanted better for you.” Nathan said. “I get that and its not to do with the video. But its to do with James.” I admitted. “No Maddie any guy except him please.” Nathan wined. “he got realised a few weeks ago.” I said. “im aware.” Nathan said firmly. “Hes been messagening me since the day he was realised.” I said. “what.” He said firmly. “I havent replied.” I said. “but you want to?” he demanded from me. “I blocked him.” I said. “good girl.” He said. “Today.” I started. “ive recived over 400 emails from him. I havent responded to any. But hes using another email address and when I block. He uses another.” I said. “I am going to keep ignoring him. but I want you aware.” I said. “I will contact people about getting a restraining order.” Nathan said. I nodded. “I don’t really want to talk to him, but that’s extreme don’t you think.” I said. “okay Kiddo.” He said. “thankyou giant.” I said.

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