The room fell into complete silence as soon as she asked that question.
The first question in a while to catch me so off guard that it left me speechless.
Khloe’s first tear fell from her eye as she stared at me, waiting for an answer.
An answer that I had no idea how to say.
I opened my mouth only to have nothing come out.
My mind was too full of rushing thoughts to come up with a decent answer.
Apparently Khloe took my struggling silence as a queue to elaborate further.
“I know its a weird request b-but I,” She looked away from me, sniffling as another tear fell from her lashes, ” I know what they do to pets once they get taken from their Masters, a-and if I’m going to die anyways, Id rather have you be the one to do it.”
My eyes widened even more so at her last statement.
Everything about this was weird to me.
We have a little over seven years to figure this out ant yet she was stressing about this now. That was so much time, too much time.
And yet this has been stressing her out for days, enough to the point where she doesn’t feel like eating and can’t sleep well.
She began to speak once again.
“I mean, I-if you happen to want one of my kids or something, I-I understand, but... I don’t want to have to die in the hands of someone other than you... if that makes sense...”
Something about what she said made my blood begin to boil.
I didn’t want one of her kids, I didn’t want some gross slave boy coming near her with the intention of making them for me. I wanted her. For as long as I damn well pleased.
Even though I knew that I couldn’t do that forever.
Her eyes met back with mine, begging for the answer that I still hadn’t given her.
Dammit I hated this.
I hated seeing her cry, I hated seeing how helpless she felt and how scared she was about something that was so far away, how something like this could effect her the way it was.
For the first time, I hated the law that stated what was to happen to her once she reached that age.
I hated the very thought of her being taken away from me and forced into breeding. I hated the thought of anyone but me even laying a single finger on her.
And that Damn look she was giving me. That look that finally showed me how she had been feeling these passed days. I hated it. I hated how she felt the need to hide behind her hair, trying to hide how she felt.
She didn’t deserve this at all and yet she had already come to accept that all of these terrible things were going to happen to her.
I sat up straighter, exhaling a long breath before separating my knees
First things first, I wanted her to stop crying, and for some reason, being close to me seemed to make that happen.
“Come here.” I said in an almost whisper, gesturing her towards me with my finger.
She seemed surprised by my words, and very hesitant.
But luckily, she decided to listen, closing the small distance between us so she was right in between my knees.
First things first.
I reached my hand up towards her face tucking her hair behind her ears so I could see her face.
She didn’t retaliate, but I could tell that it made her a bit more uncomfortable.
“That’s so far away. Why are you just worrying about this now?” I questioned, cupping her face and gently wiping her tears with my thumb.
Her hands fidgeted in her lap, trying to hide the fact that they were shaking.
“I don’t know,” She uttered, holding her arms as she crossed them near her chest, ” I know that a lot is going to happen before then, but if you want to have me for that long, then I-Ill trust that ill stay alive that long,” She paused for a moment, her eyes meeting with mine,“My future has been limited and uncertain ever since I left the city. I guess... I just want some sort of certainty. Some sort of closure so I don’t have to worry about anything.”
I just looked at her as I thought over everything that she said.
She trusted me to keep her alive until then. Through all of those blood moons, through anyone who tried to hurt her within that time.
Well, of course I was going to but I didn’t realize she had put that much trust in me.
But disregarding all of that, she wanted closure...
Closure that I wasn’t really sure I wanted to give her.
Well, I wanted to give it to her, but I couldn’t do it in a way that I would agree with.
It was a yes or no answer, but I wasn’t satisfied with either of them.
And I could tell that my silence was making her more nervous.
So, in order to get rid of some of her nervousness, to give me a bit more time to think, and to help her stop crying, I pulled her closer to me.
She reacted almost immediately, wrapping her arms around me and gripping the back of my shirt.
Feeling the speed of her heart on my chest in a way just made me feel worse.
She wanted me to be the one to make that heart stop for good.
My chest actually ached at the thought of having to do that. Having to hold her as her body went limp, feeling at her warmth faded from her body and knowing that I was the cause.
Of course, it wouldn’t be the first time ive had to do it, but no other time had the thought of it effected me this much. Enough to the point where I almost felt sick.
“Please, Nico.” She begged.
My grip tightened on her involuntarily, my hand making its way into her hair.
I couldn’t do this, but I wouldn’t let anyone else do it either.
I exhaled a breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding.
Seven years. I have seven years to figure this out. To figure out what? I wasn’t really sure. There wasn’t a whole lot that I could do.
Ill happily take those years to try and figure something out, however Khloe wanted an answer now.
I looked down at her, slowly running my hand through her hair.
“Yea, Khloe, I can do that.”