I sat on the couch while Layla and Nico hurriedly got ready for breakfast, not having moved since I sat here last night.
Last night... Where I had planned on just crying myself to sleep.
But those plans switched around a lot faster than id care to think about.
I didn’t expect anything that happened last night.
After what happened once Layla got here, I didn’t expect anything at all.
I didn’t expect that Nico would try to comfort me, I didn’t expect him to try to lay with me, and I didn’t expect him to try to figure out why I was upset all while Layla was asleep.
I didn’t expect the fact that he thought I was mad at him, or that he would somehow get me to admit who I was really mad at.
I didn’t expect myself to actually tell him what had been on my mind.
And I never could have expected how he responded...
My fingers subconsciously rose up to touch my bottom lip, as if that would somehow bring back the sensation he gave me.
Somehow bring back the one gesture that managed to flip my life upside down and make me rethink everything that I thought I knew.
I felt my entire body warm up as I dwelled back on it.
The way he so gently grazed my lips with his own before deepening it into a full kiss.
The way he so subtly reacted to my touch whenever my hands moved.
The way he so easily got me to melt into him.
And then the look of panic on his face when he realized Layla was waking up, followed by the look that told me that he hated that he couldn’t stay where he was and continue what we were doing.
And then... and then the soft kiss he placed on my forehead.
For some reason, that kiss solidified everything that had happened previously, somehow telling me that everything prior to that moment wasn’t some sort of accident or mistake. Nico meant and wanted for it to happen.
I brought my knees closer to my chest, trying to get myself to relax while I thought this over.
I don’t even remember what was going through my head as it happened, I just remember feeling surprised before embracing what was happening.
I remember feeling happy, ecstatic even.
And then I just remember feeling so crushed that it was over before the weight of what I had actually just done crashed onto me.
I tried to make sense of what had happened but the pieces weren’t falling together like they should have.
I could feel Nico’s want and passion by the way he kissed me, a feeling that I understood very clearly and yet not at all.
The only reason I think I understood it was because the second it happened, the same feeling sparked and spread through me like a wildfire.
And the only reason I didn’t understand it was because it came from the vampire that quite literally owns me.
The one person who was least likely to ever feel something like that towards me.
And yet I couldn’t even try to deny it.
I rested my forehead on my knees, trying to keep track of all the thoughts rushing through my head, trying to understand how something so wrong could feel so right.
How my completely ridiculous and unrealistic thoughts about my Nico could have lead me here.
I needed answers. I needed to talk to Nico.
But I couldn’t. Not while Layla was here.
I looked up to look for her, only to meet eyes with Nico from across the room.
Both of us were shocked but didn’t look away.
I don’t even think I could have if I wanted to.
Those eyes were like a trap to me.
But apparently so was his entire face judging by the quick glance I involuntarily gave to his lips.
After a couple seconds of us just looking at each other, he sent me a small apologetic smile while his eyes looked like he was longing for something.
He probably wanted to talk too.
Before I could return any expression, Layla strut through the open bathroom door, tearing our gazes away from each other and towards her.
“You ready?” Nico asked her. To which she responded with an eager nod
I took that as my queue to stand so that I could open the door for them
Layla had complained about that last night while I was supposedly asleep, so I thought it would be best for everyone if I just did it.
I hurriedly stepped to the door and opened it for them right as they approached it.
Layla seemed pleased with my actions, meanwhile, Nico’s jaw tensed.
I turned my head towards the floor as they walked out, watching as Layla’s heels exited into the hall.
I barely even had time to notice that Nico was taking an unusual amount of time to walk out before I felt him softly take hold of my upper arm.
My head shot up to him, my eyes getting trapped in his once again causing my breath to catch in my throat.
He wanted to say something. I knew he did.
And well so did I but this wasn’t the time.
“I...,” He began, his voice sounding a bit strained. He cleared his throat, “Your food will be delivered here soon.”
The tone of his voice caused my mouth to go dry.
“Okay,” I croaked, trying to ignore the thick awkward tension that was hanging in the air.
His hand lingered on my arm for a little while longer before he reluctantly let go to go follow Layla.
I just stood still, forcing every part of my body that wanted to chase after him to stay still before I finally shut the door.
My back found the door as soon as it was closed.
I drew in a very long breath, now finding myself desperate for his touch.
Not even just his touch, I was just so desper for him in general.
I wanted him to be here. Just him. So we could figure out whatever happened last night and I could clear up all these questions.
I knew I could so easily have that if Layla wasn’t here.
If she wasn’t so adamant about being by his side whenever possible.
At this moment I wanted nothing more than for her to leave. Go back to her room and leave Nico alone.
Leave us alone.