I swallowed in my newly dry throat, exhaling an almost silent, nervous breath.
Right... That topic.
I knew that we were going to have to get to it eventually, but I didn’t think that it was going to be this soon.
Hell, there were a lot of things that had happened in the last twenty-four hours that I didn’t think would happen.
Yet despite all that, Khloe wanted to jump right into this.
I searched her face, trying to see if I could find any hint as to how she felt about it, getting nothing but uncertainty.
Sure, I kissed her, but in my defense, she definitely kissed me back.
Which in all honesty could have meant a number of things.
I placed both of my sweaty palms into my pockets before I finally spoke.
“I did,” I replied cautiously, still trying to get a read on this situation.
This was a conversation that I had only played through in my head, never actually thinking that it was ever really going to happen, let alone that I was ever going to actually kiss her.
I just didn’t want to mess this up now that my chance was here.
“Why?” She asked, sounding absolutely defeated.
Her tone caused my brows to raise.
She literally could not comprehend why I did what I did.
I wondered what thoughts had come across her mind since that night.
Which seemingly impossible ideas about us had come into her head.
If the thought that I wanted her more than she could ever think to dream of had ever made itself known.
I sighed, taking a single, small step towards her, coming to the conclusion that I was just going to come out and say it.
A conversation like this deserved the truth.
I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand.
“Would you believe me if I told you that I completely fell for you?” I asked adding a bit of nervous laughter towards the end for my own sake.
Her entire body stilled, but her heart sped up.
The utter look of barely-controlled surprise stayed unmoving on her face for many seconds.
I felt nervousness churn in my stomach more and more with each passing silent second, feeling the sudden need to pour my entire heart out and tell her everything from the beginning.
That is if I even knew where to start.
“W-What?” She finally responded.
There was no disdain or disgust in her voice, just pure shock.
Like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
Not that I could blame her. Even I could admit that this whole thing seemed pretty unbelievable.
So, I guess I had to somehow make it more believable.
“Khloe,” I fought my urge to take another step towards her, figuring that having some space during this conversation may be the best thing, despite how much I wanted to feel her and hold her, “I couldn’t tell you exactly when, or exactly how, but I fell for you. I-”
I cut myself off and looked away from her, not at all sure what to say.
I wanted her to understand at this moment what she meant to me, but I was still cautious.
I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.
“Ever since I found out, I just stayed quiet about it, knowing that the idea of falling for a human was... Not normal. I thought that if I just didn’t mention it, that it would just go away but I just kept getting more and more captivated with you. With every single thing about you.” The words were just coming out of my mouth at this point, not even passing through my mind, “I just kept falling deeper and deeper into it not even trying to stop. I started picturing you in my life from here on out, searching for ways to let you be with me forever.”
I stopped for a moment, trying to recollect my thoughts, only then noticing the tight feeling in my chest.
I took a deep breath noticing how Khloe’s tense position had relaxed ever so slightly, her eyes still wide with wonder.
“The thought of losing you made me lose my mind, the thought of you in pain or upset made me angry. It got to the point that the only things that would remedy those thoughts would be hearing your laugh or seeing your smile.” I couldn’t help but smile and laugh a bit myself as I finished that sentence, “I couldn’t get you off of my mind no matter how much I tried.”
I cleared my throat, switching my voice back to a serious tone.
“I guess that when you told me about how you had begun to view me as something other than your Master and viewed yourself as something more than a pet... and then continued to explain how ridiculous it was when I felt the exact same way... I guess that was just the only way I could show how I felt at that moment.”
Thinking back to it...
The way that she melted into my touch. The way she held onto me to keep me close to her. The way her hands lingered on me even after the kiss.
All of which were good signs, but could have all just been actions from the heat of the moment.
I wasn’t at all certain about how she felt about all of this.
I glanced at her, seeing her concentrated expression as she looked down at the sheets, pondering over my words.
It was then that I realized just how nervous I was.
How anxious I was for her response.
I had never felt like this towards anyone for as long as I’ve lived, and I was absolutely terrified of messing this up, now that my one chance was here.
My body stiffened as Khloe shifted on the bed, hanging her legs off of the side while she timidly fidgeted with her hands.
“S-So,” She spoke quietly before she cleared her throat, “So you would... do it again?” she asked, looking up at me with an almost hopeful look in her eye.
My heart immediately began to race.
I wasn’t at all expecting that to be her response, but the fact that it was filled me with an odd sense of relief.
Happiness almost. Excitement.
I took that as a very good sign.
I couldn’t even stop myself from taking another step towards her, now only a bit more than an arm’s length away from her.
Luckily, I was still able to restrain myself from just scooping her up and capturing her lips right there and then.
It took me a moment to compose myself enough to speak without sounding too eager.
“Without a doubt Khloe. But if I did it again, I’m not sure if I could get myself to stop.” I spoke honestly, effectively surprising her again.
I watched as her hands clenched and unclenched, her breaths hitched, her eyes drifted from mine, and the color that was beginning to tint her cheeks.
She was nervous too.
“I-I’m okay with that,” She responded, shrinking back to compensate for her bold statement.
The boldness that completely caught me off guard.
Bold or not, that certainly wasn’t an invitation that I was willing to give up.
So, I closed the distance between us, enough that our legs were touching.
She faced me almost immediately, her eyes full of anticipation despite the anxiousness that her heart was showing me.
I gently reached my hands up to tuck the hair from her face, noticing the flutter of her breath and the quick glance to my mouth she gave me.
The sight of that would have made me smirk if the situation was different.
But for now, I wasn’t focused on being cocky. I was focused on her and her alone.
She never took her eyes off of me as I leaned over her, hovering my face inches above hers.
In fact, she made the next move, cupping her hands behind the base of my neck.
I set my own on her waist, leaning in just enough to feel her breaths on my skin.
And then I kissed her, brushing her lips ever so gently, feeling her deep sigh of relief against my cheek.
I struggled to control myself almost immediately.
I didn’t want to take this calmly. I wanted to let my passion run wild, to let my hands explore and figure out her body. I wanted to figure out what she liked.
I wanted to show her just how much I had been craving this moment.
But I didn’t want to step over any boundaries too quickly, not to mention that the bandages covering her were an obstacle I couldn’t exactly pass at the moment.
So, I swallowed my urges.
If she wanted to take this gently then we could take this gently.
I snaked my hand around her waist and under her shirt to her lower back, trailing my nails lightly around the skin below her bandages.
A small hum came from her throat as her hands separated from behind my neck and trailed down.
I barely had time to question her actions before she almost desperately knotted her fists near the collar of my shirt, pulling me harder against her.
That was all it took for my urges to resurface, judging by the low possessive growl that echoed from the throat before I took the liberty of deepening our kiss.
Her arms reached around to take hold of my back as I leaned her further back toward the surface of the bed.
My hold on her kept her inches from actually touching the bed, while I used my other hand for support.
The taste of her lips was intoxicating, causing my already existing desire for her to intensify, something that until now, I thought was impossible.
I leaned further forward, setting one knee onto the edge of the bed so that I was hovering over her, taking her all in.
The smell of her hair and the softness of her skin and lips, the timid yet demanding way she clung to my back.
The way her body arched into mine like a perfect fit, allowing me to physically feel her heartbeats.
Yet despite that, I wanted her impossibly closer.
I wanted to breathe her all in, taste her, feel her. I wanted her in every way I could imagine.
I couldn’t do that yet, and if I didn’t stop myself now, I probably wouldn’t be able to stop myself later on.
I reluctantly pulled away, leaving us both breathless.
Khloe stared at me, her eyes like an owl’s as I felt the quick rise and fall of her chest against my own.
Neither of our hands left the other, if anything, our grips became tighter, not wanting to let the other one go just yet.
We stayed in that position for many moments, my body hovering above hers, her body pressed against mine.
I dropped my head between her neck and shoulder, taking in all that I could while this moment was here.
“I want you so bad,” I confessed, my voice sounding admittedly pitiful.
The hand that I kept on the bed tightened into a fist.
“I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms. I want to live each day with you by my side as my equal. I want you to live the way you want to live, doing the things you want to do for as long as you want. I want to dance with you under the stars. I want to find out all of the little things that you like, all of the things that make you smile,” I paused for a second, taking a deep breath as I tightened my hold on her, “I want you.”
Those words still couldn’t fully express how I felt. I don’t know if any words could.
Even if I could find those words, that doesn’t mean Khloe would accept them.
“But,” I started
I began leaning back, pulling Khloe up with me so that she was sitting straight up.
Her hands slowly slid from my back, but my head never left her shoulder.
Despite her reaction to everything prior, there was still a chance that she didn’t want this.
And I doubt that she would say anything if the didn’t.
So I wanted to make sure that she knew that this was her choice.
My feelings were now all out in the open. It was her decision on where to go from here.
“But,” I began again, removing my hand from her skin like I was already accepting the rejection that hasn’t happened, “If you don’t want this, or if this makes you uncomfortable,” I paused as my voice began to waver. Saying these words actually pained me, “I’ll swallow my feelings and we can forget about this.”
I began to stand back up to give her some space before her hands swiftly grabbed my wrists, stopping me.
“No!” She finally said, her face full of worry.
Even she seemed surprised by her little outburst, glancing down to where she held me.
Her brows drew together after a moment as she began chewing her bottom lip
I just stood there, patiently waiting for her to get her thoughts together.
“Nico, I-” her grip tightened on me before she loosened it with a sigh, “I know I’ve had feelings for you for a while now, but I just decided to disregard them as soon as possible. I tried to never even dwell on them because I thought that there was no possible way that you would ever feel that way about me.”
Her hands slowly slid down to mine before she completely let go.
She let out a small laugh, “I got so deep in denial that even when you first kissed me I doubted what it meant because it still seemed so impossible. It still seems so impossible but it feels so right.”
I sat next to her on the bed.
Although I was beyond excited to hear her words, I understood her toll of doubting everything up to this point and being unsure of this.
“I want to be with you in that way. I want everything that you offered. But-” she turned away, her brows drawn together.
“But?” I questioned, worry quickly filling my mind.
“But you’re a Vampire.”
“And I’m a Human.”
She looked at me like I was missing something.
“And-... And that means that no matter what happens between us, I’m still going to get taken away when I-”
I cut her off, pulling her tight against me by her shoulder before she could finish that thought.
That topic was something that I wanted to ignore forever.
“I’m working on that,” I began, “Please don’t dwell on that if that’s the only doubt you have. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
She just looked at me for a moment, thinking that over.
“You’re really willing to all these things for me?” She questioned.
“All these things and more,” I replied, rubbing her shoulder.
She sucked in her bottom lip as she smiled, almost like she was trying to hide it.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” she spoke quietly yet happily.
I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh before I softened my voice.
“Please Khloe. Let me make you happy, let me somehow become even more enamored with you with each passing day. Let me make you feel loved and treat you how you should be treated. Let me give you the life you deserve.” I stopped, trailing my hand through her hair, “Will you let me do that?”
Color began to fill her cheeks again.
Her hand reached down to intertwine with mine as she completely slumped against me.
“Only if you let me do the same,” she replied.
My smile grew before I leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead.