He never got to answer me because there was a knock at the door causing Avery to shoot to his feet.
“You’re not allowed to lock the bathroom door, sorry but I’m going have to asked you to come out now” a voice called on the other side. Sighing I stood up looking over to Avery who was unlocking the door and brush past the man who was going to say something. The guy turned towards me so say something, but I didn’t stay to listen. My heart was beating loudly and hard in my chest. I had opened up to him leaving myself vulnerable for the first time to anyone. He had the upper hand now; to crush me to pieces or drop down some of those walls and give into me.
It was all a waiting game now and I couldn’t take it, I was too impatient for it, but I would let him because that’s how much I had fallen. Avery was back in his seat refusing to look me in the eye and it hurt.
“Caleb?!” I heard Robin call me, but I ignored her and stomped out into the streets and power walk down the sidewalk heading for the wood that was a few blocks away. Once I hit the tree lines I shred my clothes as I shifted. It had been way to long since I had let my wolf run free. The woods still scared me but right now I didn’t care I needed fresh air.
My paws pounded the forest floor as I ran my heart out. I still can’t believe that I left myself open to him like that. I didn’t know that I was in love with him till the words just flew from my lips. Trees blurred by me and my breath leaving fog in the air. When did it get so cold?
What if he didn’t agree to be with me? I whined as I could already feel the humiliation and pain of his rejection. I know he wasn’t my mate but that didn’t stop me from wanting him like one. So, what if I didn’t have the connection like everyone else describes; the sparks and undying love for each other but who said that two unmated wolves couldn’t learn to feel that way. If Avery would let himself, I had a feeling he would love hard and be just as protective and loving as the next mated were. He was still a wolf with the same traits as one.
By nature, weres are possessive and protective of what’s ours and we’d be damned to let someone take something of ours without a fight and that’s how I felt. I had this possessiveness streak when it came to Avery I just hoped it was the same for him about me.
‘UGH’ I sound like a love-sick puppy. Growling I pushed my legs harder running out all my frustrations.
I was in love with Avery Chandler.
My ears perked up at the sound of another set of paws behind me, my hackles rose as the familiar sensation of fear at being chased locked in my muscles and I ran faster. Flashbacks of rouges came back to me when me and Robin were on the run and my wolf took over switching to survival mode. Taking a sharp left a ran along a stream panting as my lungs felt like that were going to burst but the wolf behind me was picking up speed till I felt the snap of their teeth on my tail; yelping in surprise as I was tackled to the floor with the large wolf on top of my back.
I struggled growling and whining trying to get them off but to no avail.
‘STOP!’ Avery’s voice commanded caused me to freeze instantly. Again, this heavy aura surrounded him like the time in the woods making me whither beneath him. Slowly, I rolled on my back to look up at him showing my belly in submission. There was no use trying to fight him off, he was too big for me to do anything. I watched as the white cloud coming from his mouth and nose as he huffed from the chase.
‘Why the hell did you run’ he growled.
‘Because I was being chase’ I said in a ‘duh’ tone. He shook his head staring down at me. Then I realized he had followed me, he came after me. With that little revelation my heart skipped a beat. Does that mean he cares? Is he going to finally answer me? Sighing Avery backed away and sat on his hunches letting me get to my feet.
‘Why are you out here?’ I asked him. He didn’t answer me for a while just watching the trees.
‘I don’t really know why’ he finally said. I cocked my head at him.
‘Well there’s reason’ I told him.
‘Yeah well I don’t know what that is’ again I felt angry. If he didn’t come out here for me then he can leave me alone!
‘Well why don’t you go and find it out then’ I snarled whipping around and trotting off. he growled pouncing on me again causing us to roll as I fought back this time, but in the end, he just pinned me down.
‘What do you want from me Caleb?!’ he yelled at me his eyes glowing blue. ‘You know why I’m here’ he growled.
‘No, I really don’t unless you say it’ I challenged knowing it was dangerous to do so with him.
‘I don’t know what to say! I don’t know how to do what you ask of me.’ his gaze on me was tortured and helpless. I didn’t say anything just stared up at him.
‘I’ve left Aiden’s side to find you, don’t make this hard Caleb’ he told me whining. My face softened at this. He was like a newborn trying to walk for the first time. He had never done anything like this before to know how to approach me correctly.
‘I can’t tell you that I’m in love with you because just like you said I don’t know what that is. I don’t know why but you strike my wolves curiosity like no one else can Caleb. But I can’t ignore that you have someone out there waiting for you and neither can you, and soon you’ll be stolen from me and I’d have to let it happen.’ whining I lifted up my head to nip at his ear.
‘I told you to not think about it’ I whispered. He cocked his head giving me more possession of his ear.
‘How can I’ growling I pawed at his chest.
‘Stop’ I demanded. ‘the more you dwell the harder it becomes, just let all of it go’ his look of uncertainty was ever present. To make him feel better I began to purr and licked at his muzzle softly, he stood above me awkwardly watching me with unease.
He was walking in uncharted territory agreeing to be with me and I wanted to make him as comfortable as I could. I nuzzled my head in his large warm neck still purring and his body began to relax. Wiggling myself out from under him I stood before him, my tail wagging playfully. He gave me a frown as I crouched low. Growling I pounced on him causing him to fall backwards but he retaliated faster that I thought he would and pinned me again.
‘What are you doing?’ he asked me his blue shining like a hunter after his prey, it sent shivers down my spine in delight.
‘I’m playing with you’ I chuckled. He watched me amused.
‘Like a pup?’ I grinned wolfishly.
‘Well yeah’ he shook his head in amusement.
‘Haven’t you ever played when you were a pup?’ I asked him curiously. I watched his face drop as he backed off me.
‘We should head back’ he said turning towards the pack house direction. I frowned getting to my feet. He’s shutting me out, I knew it.
‘What’s wrong?’ he shook his head and started to run. I sighed, more secrets, I thought following him a few feet behind.
I couldn’t watch him leave the restaurant by himself. My wolf was against letting him be by his self with him so angry. I kept seeing his face invading my head from time we were in the restroom. The blazing color of his brownish blue eyes as he glared at me in anger or how his face softened as he told me he loved me. Was I wrong for wanting him to do just what he said? Having someone caring for me, love me made a tightening in my chest occur at the mere thought.
Can he be able to break thought walls I’ve had all my life, the ones that have made my life so empty preventing anyone from getting in or me out. I was a wanderer with a purpose to protect the reason for my existence, the one who held my life in his hands; Aiden, so how did Caleb fit in. why was it that my wolf stirred whenever he was around him? why does it make me angry to smell another male on him.
I knew he wasn’t my mate that wasn’t possible so what the hell was happening to me!
I had followed him after telling Aiden I would go after him knowing Caleb’s storm out had caused some worry among the table. Once I had his scent I could smell it getting stronger, letting me know that he had shifted to and I did the same. Here I was now, agreeing to this absurd fling or whatever with him, knowing in the end I’m the one who’s going to be hurt.
Caleb was following behind me as we ran back to the house. It was quiet; I was avoiding the question he asked me moments ago not wanting to go into my past with him, or anyone for that matter.
Thirty minutes had past when finally, we arrived home. Robin was the first at the door running past me to hug her brother around his neck then slap him.
“What the hell is wrong with you running off like that stupid?!” he just huffed at her and trotted up the stairs brushing against me purposely. My wolf growled within wanting to follow but I held back his yearn for Caleb to submit to him. Squaring my shoulder, I went up behind him to go to my room.
“Avery” I looked up from my book that I wasn’t really ready to find Robert standing in the doorway to my room.
“Sir?” I said setting my book down and standing. He smiled,
“Call me Robert son” he told me I just smiled gently. “anyway, the Greenfield pack are coming down in the next two weeks or so. I’ve told Liam this, but I thought that you would like to know since your Aiden’s defender and all.” He said. I frowned.
“What is the nature for their visit sir?” I asked him. he shook his head at me with a small smirk.
“They’ve caught wind of our alpha’s being two males and are merely curious as to how we run things. There just going to be simply observing.” I frowned deeply.
“And what gives them the right to watch us like some circus show sir?” my question was a bit harsher. I didn’t like the thought of some random pack roaming around ours like we were freaks to laugh and point at! Robert walked up to me placing a calming hand on my shoulder.
“Cool it son” he gestured for me to sit back on the bed and did the same. “There are bound to be inquisitive packs wanting to know how we function around here without a Luna. Packs need a Luna and the thought of a pack without one, but two males make them interested in our lifestyle. It’s out of the norm. I can be sure we will lose allies from this just from the ignorance in the world. But we werewolves know that mates have no chose, they were destined by the spirits and that’s how thing will be, and the fact that we have more than one homosexual couple in our pack is going to gather more attention.
“Plus, the Greenfield pack may be a bunch of narcissistic superficial power hungry bastards but they are still one of the powerful packs in the US and when they asked to visit, you don’t turn them down.” he shrugged.
He was right about one thing, this pack was a gay magnet; from Liam to his mate Aiden, then Robin and Sadie plus Caleb being gay and Levi Bi. Then there was me who was never attracted to anyone until Caleb wormed his way to my wolf.
“k, do you know how many will be here?” he nodded standing up.
“Alpha Collin, his daughter Lynn and a few others, not many” sighing I nodded to him.
“You’re telling me this because you think they might harm Aiden in some way?” I asked. His face hardened.
“You can never be too cautious as you know so yes I’m tell you to keep an eye on him while they are here. I can’t trust anyone that isn’t from this pack Avery, it’s our wolf instinct to be wary of others. But I doubt that they’d try anything being surrounded by wolves sworn to protect him”
“I understand; you know it is my soul purpose to protect Aiden where his mate is unable” he smiled at me.
“Thank you, son,” with that he walked off closing the door behind him. it was ten at night, so the house was asleep. Stretching I stood grabbing my checkered pajama bottoms and walked into my bathroom turning the water on. Discarding of my clothes I threw them in my hamper and checked the water, the room was filling up with steam fogging up the mirror.
Once the water hit my skin I moaned in delight, I loved hot showers. They have always made me calm and relaxed like there meant to. I stood there letting the warm water cascade down my back and in my hair. Grabbing my shampoo, I started to scrub my hair while my mind thought back to Caleb, I hadn’t seen him the rest of the day since he went up to his room. I wondered if I had made him mad, but I didn’t have the desire to find out. If I had, he surly would have let it be known to me at least, did my not answering his question really bother him that much?
‘Haven’t you ever played when you were a pup?’
My answer would have been no anyway. My wolf in the beginning of maturity was always distant and detached; unlike the rest of the wolves around me at the time. I never stuck around long enough to know how to act like a carefree pup with the newly turned wolves, it all seemed inconsequential to my wolf since he knew that he had more important things like trying to find survival. The water cooled down, so I shut it off and stepped out wiping off my dripping body; slipped on my pajama pants and climbed into bed.
Out of habit I began to focus on Aiden, this time the mist was a relaxing and calming blue appeared as he slept. I let his energy seep into mine and instantly I was tranquil. Closing my eyes, I let Aiden’s calming aura pull me into a deep and peaceful sleep.