There was this desire this malicious almost like wanting to see how I functioned like a cat or a animal no respect nothing but this curiosity as if I a person was not with feelings as if she owned me.
She said to make it like more obscure than real but she did not read right. She read at nights when she said she not at her best but she did read? She read constantly she said like a bug a desire to find out what to do with the whole structure of the poetry which had meaning but no structure. These were the poems. The beginning of ideas had taken over her she said it meant so much more sense when she delved into the thinkers behind the eras before now. She did not ask for this but it made her mad her husband would not babysit.
She had too many books crossed out and did not live longer to redo the detective poem in the right order. She had began to be simply read as a victim of abuse.
Her life story the confused. A parallel to the blondes in the long line of beings who did it worst than got wasted. She disliked the thinking. She wished to read so that she could do the right image to make the real poem so that the detective poet can begin.
When she should be cooking or ironing did irritate the two beasts.
Sylvia Plath could not write poems because her husband was a male poet who would make the better beast of poetry. So he said goodbye and off he went to the relaxing arms of his mistress who became his second wife.
Her husband began to berate her as a wife not true but a woman who did not do the womanly duties. She yelled at him put him out he said when he wanted to make his own poems. They would argue then to bed and then it began they had to party. They went out and then there was not much time for the reality of being poets. We are a stand up joke. She used to joke at parties.
We are serious poets he disliked being called a joke.
She went so far as to think of it as the Jewish calling. She paralleled her own beastly life with the Jews? Yes it meant much the same as being a poet. A poet married and wanting to read and he taking off without her? Yes she fell behind while he went ahead. Madden her.
She had not studied the classics and had studied mathematics this added to her work? Yes because she could not take it all in? She wanted to distil to melt to make the right mood but what she have the Jews.
A very serious concerns and all that. Yes they were she sounded German she wanted to become a German in order to be both be a Jew and a German so one could kill the other.
So you see it made sense her voice as she reads her poetry?
She married Hughes and they had two children who he run away from his distractions which meant he felt meaningless as a poet, Wet hands and the feelings of being inside this cage. Like a caged animal caged beasts.
When she was happiest with him and she did look like a blotter he had over blotted. He run towards this other white page to blot out the other being.
Reinforced by her genuine genius. She fears for the safety of her own future. For she knows she as a poet would be somehow not right with what she herself her family behaved in. She fell to doing something like phoning for the man her husband and making him fear for his own new wife.
The editors did share out the information they were at the loving stage. Which meant she was somehow pregnant with the idea that she was behaving like a woman who was out smarting and did not like to be always reminded.
That her husband was a married man in the process of divorce. So she had upset the new woman of course. The bitch always knows when we are having sex. She must be timing us like eggs. She knows when he wants to have sex and does phone in the times we are doing the sex.
He was sexy? Yes she was too. She into sex very much sexiness youthful and delicious had sexual partners before but never like him. He was her sole satisfaction. When they could that is. The male designs the infantile woman with the appetites of a wolf. She wolfed Cambridge down like a slab. She had imaginings in her mind but she had studied mathematics wrong subject so when she married she had to read the Greeks in order to catch up on her poetry. This made her late with the final offering. She not yet thirty had to catch up on time. What was the reason youth a young woman catching in on herself.
Who was behaving like a woman? Sylvia had this idea the babies needed their father. All the time. She was asking for money when he could find the money when the money orders would arrive when he would deliver into the wallet when he had the time.
The new wife was not right with this? We do not think she was right about any of it but she did not let on she smiled sweet as sweet and blessed him with the good showers.
Who also had behave unlike the good wives do in the normal literature. She did behave more disgracefully as the editors said because she died taking the children. Their children with her. I mean what is the reason? Ted had to marry a good calm woman who is a nurse so does know how to treat a poet.
All them nurses taking over the artist it makes me think what it is about who is looking after the artist who is making him into a prisoner there is nothing left afterwards all the poets taken into nursing custody made aware they made mistakes and misunderstood their wounded selves wounds so deep cut like their souls laid and battered and batted out.
She had nursed him back to health after his terrible ordeal. Having sat him down and got him in the good right feelings of behaving.
He went to the pub nightly and enjoyed the speaking the good journalistic failures and did behave. He worked away. Once worshipped now aloof. He left her as he painstakingly went to his poems and drunk it all dry.
When a poet laureate he became and staid and fast he asked what he had forgotten? Why he went for this? When the reality so much better? He was past seventy nearing eighty at the time and his philosophy was maturing.
But he just asked that question what was it all for? Why he had her when now he had them?
The children were put into cages ready to be sold off. They were the new herd they had better chances of being sold and resold and they fetched so much more money. They were pleased to be taken out of the farm which were without any sanitation and placed somewhere near the sun. A litter they were called the dogs litter no the same mother litter they were the children of the corn.
They would be there soon and we will make a lot of money so we can buy you a dress. A dress uncle for me? A dress when they have nothing? We must not be peculiar they are not ours. They are children not like us. Dirty children they are dirty children,
I like the dirty children they are more interesting than our clean children.
No more of that.
This town is nothing but a ghost town this town is nothing but a ghostly town tat a la la.
I hear the sound against the beating of the drums the drums inside me forever cascading meaningless worsted words. My soul surrenders to them drumbeats as the whiplash of the today and now takes care of the needy me not at all. I am the one whom nobody can say a nice word to the worst part is I never meant it to happen at all.
I meant to be nice to everyone and be well liked.
Some are like Biff never get on Biff is the one in Death of a Salesman and he does not become a tutor or a salesman and is deem a failure by all. Including his unhappy father.
“I am not saying another word it is such a bad idea. They have so much stories to share they are not like us true but they are no more different. I will not allow you to do that to them. They are not going to be sold to that.”
“It is not right with me so go away. I will let them go I will let them go so auntie will have to say no to that man so we can’t live like parishioners when they are the poor. We can’t feed on the poor and allow ourselves such heights. Now no more be done.”
“I will never allow you all to do that do you hear.”
“So has the whole town.”
“look it is not right do you hear?”
“Why what shall we sell than?”
“Animals sell your animals?”
“But we like our animals.”
“I like the children.”
“I am sorry auntie but the money has to come from somewhere else.”
“I loved that man he would have married me.”
“I do not live on the spoils of others must you?”
“We all live on the spoils of others it is what we must do?”
“I am not easy on this look if you build a new life on the tragedies of kids what will it mean in your life?”
“I will be the spoilt wife.”
“No you will not be human.”
“Who we are the most humane society ever.”
“I can’t let you do this.”
“Then share their plight.”
“Go and become like them.”
“They threw me into this place. What will daddy say?”
“I think daddy would say not much he does not want me to be his kid anymore so let me die as I lived in purity and spirit. ”
“Look what you doing.”
“Doing what I am doing I am not having to be sold off to pay for the things.”
“Well never mind it is not you they must have I want you for me wife.”
“Look fuck yourself.”
“How would you like a bloody nose?”
“Hurt me and I will ram you.”
“She has hurt herself.”
“What she done.”
“She has banged D and has made him go into a wall and he will not forget that.”
“Look say something.”
“I am not going to speak another word.”
“She has set the dogs loose?”
“Why she do that?”
“The kids are running amok.”
“Fucking heck now we are in trouble the journalist have come too?”
“How did she manage to get the journalist out?”
“I have no idea.”
“How energetic she is.”
“Works like a trooper..”