“Look it is not on.”
“Me now in the night school?”
Let me do a bit of description of who and where everyone is. This is Brits in the 2017 and we live in the age when we live.
One rule for the success stories and one rule for the failures or the poverty stricken. Then we get another rule for the middling classes and then we have this other rule for the aristocratic who can do no wrong. Whatever they do they are the ruling classes so they are with them classical stony exterior whatever one says they are never going to change their minds lives or their behaviour as they do not seek you out and they do not even speak to you in public as your credentials and we have never been introduced.
They have their various impersonations when they give you a little present of their presence just to make your life easier along the way they do not understand that talking about racing and the Ascot and what one does in Vegas is not in the curriculum.
“So me seventeen trying to do the right exams.”
“When shitty father came saying I am her boy friend.”
Then the thing is others take over this line of address. So once in the school with the scholarly outfit and then outside the school where the scholars can do whatever to each other as the teaching staff have gone home and the mothers are still working. The fathers are never there as they are afraid they might be arrested.
“Mr Erturk down the steps laughing his head off.”
“Mr Erturk he grandma’s ex husband.”
“Mad is it not?”
“He jumps and sobers.”
“I give dad adopted dad the look and dare and make a pact.”
“We have to become good Indians otherwise we will be in fires.”
“So we do this pact?”
“Yes we agree to do to each other the good pact I ask him what to say and we do the work but if he takes it further I put him into the fire and burn his arse.”
“This is known as verbal agreements.”
“According to the gospel of behaving well.”
“Yes in order not to marry half the grand dads and hold down the fort while they all make it through.”
“Yes the Indian problem was mighty.”
“I am all hot and bothered.”
“Buy a Rag?”
“I lost my rag.”
“From rage to riches?”
“No my tablets which the psychiatrist has given me.”
“Too many tablets?”
“Too many tables?”
“Will you die from them?”
“I hope not I am having a lot of interesting thinking done.”
“Intellectually I did not have it better.”
“Does it mean you are now intelligent?”
“Except when I am hot.”
“Take a shower.”
Not real not truth meaningless and me believing in it? What me? In the lost years mum had this lesbian thing for the adopted mother. They had what is known to Nan as this grandeurs. The lost years made states of the reality of behaviour not socially acceptable. That mothers had this crush that they crushed landed in hell. Mother had dumped me into the motor cycle caskets and me almost did not make it through the ear drums were affected. This meant me hungry for life the thing was mum had this lesbian who took the blame.
She said she had been on the motor cycle with her fiancé. My adopted mum took that rapt it made her feel she has done something for the woman she loves. She was going to hell and back for her she yelled she was going to hell for her.
I think she landed in some kind of a hospital and was in there for some time. That is when she met her brother in law who landed into the auntie who got fat. She said she made that marriage because she loved that woman too?
I think they mutually hated one another and auntie said she would not even get off the toilet seat if she saw her. So mum took her to someone she knew and did her the right marriage. Yes her happiness her main concerns. He gave her Nescafe she loved the coffee not him. She said and uncle concurred that Nescafe was the best present it got him his wife with the lands. Sheer good will took over the others as they made the pages clean and took out their own insurers.
“That they got it down on paper made sense to everyone including the patients who said if it was love it is okay. I do not think the Greek doctor understood he did not know which was which so the Greek doctor thinking we all look like Chinese.
We did look alike? I do not know but what the hell he did not care either he just wanted to do his job as quickly as possible then he could forgive the system for making him a Turkish doctor. He had left behind people to treat them? What a climb down what a climb down he will go to hell. He had strained the friendly relations between his in laws and made himself despicable treating Turks.
Auntie said she plainly infatuated with the good image of her husband. It is her love as she feels her painful failings are not going to happen she will not have to stay at home and become a spinster.
And did not even want to hear they let her out and auntie married this man who could be anyone ? You see it was not difficult everyone knows a bit of acting can change the whole thing. So the hair thing the jelled being the good educations the other things. It takes pride to do that sort of thing desperation lends ideas which work.
Auntie thinking she loved her too said yes. The man had a pleasant house and she liked him. So she marries him because she was twenty four and said she did not like anyone else and being a spinster? That would mean she would be cooking bread forever in that kitchen with the flies.
Then when it was sorted mum and adopted mum went to England. Having married in the meantime to men they said it will work. But mum the real mum threw the adopted mum out. Said she now in the honeymooning did not need a third.
My sociable mum the one with the constancy of being always approved of meant nothing to anyone she just did not like to be a social outcast. You see it might have looked odd if we found all there in that house? Married yes but still on honeymoon.
She throws all her clothes out when mum the adopted mum been to the hairdresser spent all her money on her hair and trying to take it in now the door locked with her outside.
With no money no money at all. The rains start and she is shivering her shoe broken and she limps to the cousins house walking for hours. I think she left her suitcases behind with a neighbour. She had bought expensive clothes that is what she had nothing but the clothes she stood in.
Her feet so bloodied her hair a mess she walks through for hours then bangs on the door and shouts something when they let her in she collapsed.
“She changed the locks she changed the locks.“!
“The key my key did not fit ?”
“She changed the lock on me.”
“She is bad.”
“Not she very far thinking.”
“I do not understand but it is awkward where do I stay/”
“You can stay with Z she is in her own room.”
“Mum did not even blink.”
Everyone in Turkey thinks we in a relationship. Not with mum? Yes they do.
Cars drive at speed trying to run me down.
Her identity crashed down. She became a group woman. A part of this group one side of her was her and the Other side was this others protected her she was now theirs. Her identity crashed she was no one’s but theirs. They fulfilled her they fulfilled her she knew who she was because they said she was that. Who was she they told her that she was her father’s daughter and adored him. Yes she said she had adored her dad.
She went back to her childhood behaving as she should be protected she had to be protected. Someone must protect her from her. Someone to watch over her yes she had to be watched otherwise she not protected.
“They swear as they drive past.”
“They swore at me.”
“Yes officer they did.”
She always said she had raped that Z. But she could not remember if she had. It was her brother as he said Z had been so sexy wearing short skirts. At fourteen he raped her. Mum took the blame. He starts he is here and there. I raped her through her.
Vivid imaginations paid dividends? Why is it my story what has happened in the story. We are all over active. We act out our fantasies our fantasies are our way of life we were dead bored before we found film. Look in there the Turkish film has two women shagging.
Now we can shag too? You told me that Turks do not shag that way look they just did. We are related so we can’t. Woody did. What he did adopted daughter he marries her now with children. Yes well of course. I am thinking. I am just thinking about it. Good story is it not? Well he a star so he has to.
Film stars have no morals. We have stars in our family too? Really how interesting. No way I am not having all this Zeki Murren was a relative? Was he? Nan’s first husband well how wonderful. Well does stardoms include the relatives?
“Is it mum putting you up to this?”
“No we only talk.”
“Yes it can be costing you a bob or two.”
“I love talking.”
“Sure but what does she say?”
“She gives cards and takes birthdays seriously.”
“She keeps all the cards?”
“To remind herself who loves her.”
“Where does she places the cards?”
“I do not know.”
How grand is it not? How very grand to think grandma was right about how seriously mum has damaged the adopted mum. But never mind I am not sharing it. Durmush has not even given me my inheritance money as me did not marry him.
Well he said he not giving it away. My money he has taken because he can. Well they say that man like him are kind. We destroy the women like me. Yes they destroy me more than him. He is a man who wants a second bed? Yes he does he does strange is it not?
I think grand was thinking about me. I think it is me that grandma said she damaged. I think it is okay grand did not mistakes make we are all over the moon that we behave like villains. Yes we are never caught.
When they all into each others lives as stuck together as if they are stuck like glue. When one behaviours inflicted afflictions occur to the rest. When we are the same bunch the same sticks. Liivng like that forever stuck together forever one is stronger that way,
At the Turkish palace there was a cheese party as it was celebrations all round but it was only a celebratory good bye to the then Prime Minster who looked not the thing at all for he was formally not well. His ill health was cause for such concerns that they all had to make it with cheese. The good will rounder was sure to be a catch and his being in such ill health meant he had to take leave of absence. His health very the primary and only concern for the Turks as they run off with the cheese making the President concerns very much as he talked to his wife why the cheese would go and he would have to buy some more why it would mean no economical sense at all.
The grand workings of the mind is that we all tell tales and stories and this and that what got the Turks that the prime minster had told a whooper.
I mean he told such a sure porky that he went to the light house and back again without a light and this and that added to his ill health. So the cheese party swung and swung and the good Prime Minster was wangling his hands why he did not mean to spend such a lot on them cheese them eating him out of the place why he could not afford to do that sort of thing.
He sort of looked very old and worn out indeed the concern for his health was growing in fact he had to sit down as it got worse. He did perspire his sweating sickness too hot in the palace well we can’t open the window it is too expensive.
Should the chair be mended as he sat on it too heavily why the good prime minster has to do some takings and control why his health must not trouble him at all they would look after his health and they had nothing at all to do so why did he concern himself over such a great thing as his health the only deed of the nation and the natural concerns of his people why the minsters would do such a lot to his health he would get better. Of course his health would make improvements the goals adding to the concerns and do this and that very well. His writings should improve as well and his wife who has painterly skills could do that too? Why the literature establishment needed their skill.
“Well good people the lean me your ears?”
“What has happened to our ears.”
“The war in the Cyprus did not take place.”
“Where did it take place then?”
“On the globe.”
“You mean the little globe or the big globe?”
“You fools it never took place it was a fiction because the Cypriots wanted bigger families.”
“You mean their mother in laws moving in?”
“No more children moving in.”
“Not the Smurfs surely?”
“No the little things with the baby screams.”
“With the pampers?”
“Do you mean the little Cyprus not big enough to have 50 per household?”
“You mean in the mountains they had two hundred and the Cypriots had two?”
“Two children not two hundred,?”
“Yes they had not enough room.”
“So they did what?”
“They invented a war.”
“Denktas right here having a shag and main cause so he could not be where he said he was could he? I mean if he here and not fighting a war there why then he was lying was not he?”
“I mean if he was having a screw with Amber then he did not have that much to concern him could he? If he in the Law courts in London he could not have been meeting the Sampsons in the mountains could he? He did not change his speeches he never thought about the dangers he always doing the rounds in the houses here?”
What got me when I went to Cyprus was that there was too many people having things they made their wardrobes they had the goods. They had a free house they wanted land they got what they wanted. They had this and they got them. There was so much clothes and plenty of proper houses and there was all the things they always wanted they got them.
There was massive graves yet families had not lost anybody.
For example in the school which had been Greek all the Greek books still there inside the building. Pride of place as the desired object. Yes we are so civilised are we not? Imagine I nearly got raped four times on that seven months and them savages had the liking to preserve the books of their enemies?
The building which burnt down upset the little girl so much to such an extent that she lost it. Shouting at me that her future is finished that my damn family had destroyed her. My family not Greek. I do swear in fact in a Greek village but we are Turkish I swear on the Bible, Koran and the other old testaments including the Buddha if he will come over.
It was 1974 and it had been a difficult year I had been in such a hot water the thing was in that way I had come into this place which had the cousins in my room which I locked and went out only to find their mother was selling the water at five pounds to the Turks and this and that the electricity which they were stopping and they were the government they were the policing.
They were in fact having the weddings with the government the VIP and one of the girls who had been fading was in one of them VIP evenings looking so great. That she had the Denktas after her that way in a manner of mannerly conduct, he had misinformed her. What manner of man was he?
Which meant he went leapt after her giving her the elbows and the sister married on that way. That the good Naciye who had done the funeral magic was in the wedding dressed as right as any other society socialite. Her dress and her make up the perfectionist. What indeed good did it do to her to be fucked right and centre when it did not bag her the man?
She in there looking gravities and meanings and in fact shouting at them saying she had been done in. That her rights had been given way and indeed not in the wrongs as he made out but her eyes did not lie. Her make up no use and she indeed just a shag when she had the goods which made her worse than a whore. Her father would know her family would know she would tell them she would make sure.
That she had been had. The little circle of polite chatter asides adding to the misery as she spat in my face with her eyes. Why what had happened?
Her happiness ruined she ruined and indeed no drinking and driving her life shattered her mother would kill her and she would be outside in the streets in Manhattan. She did not think it would mean anything she rather be here then there. Oh she had been done in she had been had she had been had by the government which made her price right she would get the right price and spruce the stories up until he had the news and spread it like glue and indeed if he dared not listen to her she would radio it broadcast it on airwaves and make it irksome round the globes and then indeed to think what would be the curse the disease of the land which is supposedly to protect the virtues of women but in fact he had the first rights just like any other emperor and them men why he had them too.
Men are stronger than women that is why they are paid more for some type of work. They can work longer shifts and they can do so with plenty of aplomb. So why make women do most of the slaving when the men can do the work without the slaving? Why make women slaves? Just to prove what point? In this day and age women have to do three jobs in order to stay where they were ten years before. What is this revolting thing? Revolution women are having a revolution.
All them nasty looking women in their thin attire doing their canvassing I dislike where that will end. Women once in their dominate posts do not listen to anyone but themselves.
The two older couple danced towards her and did make her disappear inside some place when she got out she began to dance with some young man who did indeed enjoy her. The comfortable rise and the sun rose on her eyes brighter than anyone else’s. There she had got her man who would protect her and make her life easier to enjoy easier to make good and she would never be outside and would be safe in the dancing partners arms.
No there was these presents they had somehow got leave to do what they pleased. In exchange they made the things they wanted.
That was in the 1974 what a war on yes it was a lovely war. There without there we are indeed in a cage we are at war it is the worst thing we are living like the great and the famous but outside the war is going on. The guns of the sham the guns are this and that whatever not we are at war. The war hero making the heroism and the shagging goods why that must be the war? It is war we are all dancing what to make the war last we must dance the nights away whatever next we dance we ply our trade is to fuck the Denktas and his Mrs.
“If you fuck the Denktas then we give you a house and then free electricity and any other jobs we will make the goods and then we ply you round if needed we will come in when the children are born and we will baptise them too. What else can the presidents do?”
“The thing is never upset minded he in the order of pecking he does not let anyone get away. He indeed has the goods all sorted when not in use he does not like it. My beauty my beauty the beast is coming. Indeed he does not dislike this why he is into minding his mines. What nobody has the things he does too much he is here there and everywhere why the party political broadcast is the things we hear every year he does not like rewrites. He is elected hands down.”
“My wife is here too such a good educationalist has done wonders for our schools.”
“Does she make the rich the goddess we indeed love ourselves so much.” His hands go fat and delicately to smile his onions.
“We do sell onions do not we?”
“Wife comes with perfumes to wet his brow he is indeed to think no more of this.”
The boxing matches are getting too much for him he is too much exhausted with the sallying and the dallying his penis is to much itching his got scribes disease.
“Wife has done me wrong?”
“She taught women to read and write. In fact we should have not taught them such a thing it was folly.”
“There there love we get them women to fight each other then we can have a snag night.”
“You think of something we do not like to lie unattended.”
“I will give you such a nice one and we can get on with it.”
“Nobody loves me.”
“My darling you have all who love you.”
“I am unpopular.”
“The population is growing what else do you want?”
“I want more of it.”
“Who said that?”
“He has taken leave sir.”
“Of his senses?”
You see the hot air the buildings on those mountains they always in need of land and making endless land deals. The land most precious the land erosions the growing population the belief that large families the things to aspire to.
Nicosia so hot it is impassable to go there it is so hot it is scary. To get there the old just collapse. The age old question the population explosions and the greed to make the many children. The hot Nicosia will spread across other areas soon there will be a disaster and this is what it is ? The coach lets the cooler go and the heat eases for some time.
It is impossible to cross the Nicosia area it is densely populated the coach drivers do not even dare to look at how crap it all is. The Sahara desert it will be.
It is so hot it is as if everyone is boxed in the air is filthy there is no such thing as the coalition there is this endless heat. The hot air balloon gets so hot that someone has just fainted again the water bottles do not leave the hands of them who are in it.
The bottles are drunk like something desperate. The bottles are emptied the cartoons are there the things which he built can’t contain the air. There is too many of them near each other sandwiched as if imprisoning the very atmosphere.
Inside the buildings there is not enough to go round as there is not enough room to feed them buildings. The air is too condensed. The buildings are too matched together there is not enough room to contain the ambitions of such a disaster.
The president of Cyprus or the other side too whatever next we will not die because we do not have enough air? Could we? The good Denktas has destroyed the atmosphere singlehanded we are not the things we were we are indeed making buildings which could be a quake we could have unbalanced the very foundations of our very foundations.
“One of my cousins can’t move in the summer she sits in the shade trying to breath the very thing she needs is air.”
We all need air too but then we have the good homes we can go inside and be privatised. The public service over we need then to be private in order to do more of the workers who are needed? In fact the baby booms is our very only manner of making a living? We have two of each and we are wearing well and to think we make one every day and we are selling them cheaply too?
After the main course the wife will show you round and if she can’t the party will be open to discussions whatever you like come and you will get we are on offer and we are the wonders for good hygiene and make sensible choices of the fools we do and make this is the special offer come dine with us.
Oh we are out partying who do you desire tonight my dear? Oh the fingers point out there and not there we see you? Ouch did you see that she said rudely? The president has been avoided such a disgrace and to think we feel it too? Why the general will hear this. The army must see to it and then if we run out the navy can be the backup.
Then we get the foot soldiers and the land miners and to then if we do not get satisfaction we can freeze assets and if that won’t do we can take over the world we are not amused. To think we are not nobodies at all. The police shout out we are not the wandering things we do will hold on to the thing we are here to hold on to her or him never let go off the load and then we can make the ambulance national security and then start another world war then if that does not work we can employ the mercenaries they do the dots and lines never tire of it.
No painting unless he is the main subject. We are no fools.
“Look he is a major man a writer of such things we are not the presidents wife we are the honours of the honourable we make the honours list we are giving all the medals.”
“Cockles for sale.”
“Strip her of her medals?”
“Does not have any my dear?”
“Ouch what manner of it?”
“Oh let us begin again.”