He phoned the police they found me. His job said his wife is to save lives. Even if he was not always right.
Ma lit the lighter again no one did it better than she did.
One of us has to leave this scene.
Dad then took his clothes and went to the hospital he had work to do. He did his best work that year he rid polio from Cyprus. Ma took the hint and emigrated bought a house and did well. I did well too I got adopted. Dad did not give me acknowledgement. I had been waiting for his telegram all is forgiven come back need a daughter. The telegram did not arrive. Never ever. He nodded sometimes just that I saw him twice in my adult life and that was that. Twice to see if he was wise and good as they all said so. Wise to seek me out twice when the matter was needed a father a family somehow to smell him was not mine destiny. I do not know what he smelt like.
Newspaper reporter who has to leave the NUJ card misplaced when in something lofty or some such thing with the motherless blonde who seems a bit crazy. NUJ cards that year misplaced to such a extent they left the NUJ in such a thing that it has to be renewed yearly. So many pounds to add to the over stretched what meanness.
But her story genuine. My God I gave her the card to give to her son to make him want to be a journalist. She did not get any money what matters sheer idiot. She enjoyed that sort of thing kinky? She did nothing kinky? Did nobody any harm just harmless she has to be harmless? What meanness must have mental health behaviours what matters she has this thing about our cards or something? She seemed so nice and good wholesome wanting to hear what to do to be a kind reporter.
All the Sun reporters have been done for. Now they are going into the others. Well it can’t do her any good what use is it for her she has no clue about articles or writing why she has this kink in her. Why I heard she does not even like to hear the words the radio says which is not making sense why she into NUJ?
Madness them broods are mad. They want small trifles just for the fun of it slept with you did she? I do not tell sort of tales we get up to, in line of business my mother would never approve. Why to think we made it through the night with the same brood did she tell you what she told me? No gay rites here. Pubs are not the same these days. You never know who you pick up Bubbles or nightmares from Elm street.
She was either harmless shag? Mad about toy story and stores if we have a war she said she would hide in a store as if she had the right attitudes she would leave the store door shut and busk in the store going round in a daze until war over. Use her credit card would she? Not she. She would use yours.
Her shoes so expensive?
White shoes expensive must be rich dame?
Why she rich who is feeding her?
“She has parents?”
“Why she alone ?”
“Into shagging big time.”
“Why she never with a child filed with toys?”
“Now we have no more papers because we have gone paperless.”
“Not with a child goes round asking for toys has the NUJ?”
“Look guys we must find a story?”
“Some plot the things today never happen nothing is happening to us to this world and everyone has gone mad with nothing at all happening.”
“We have the control then?”
“We can wipe out our very existence with a touch of a button.”
“Yes society is so dead the king of England is now the future news.”
“Well he can be made into some scandal?”
“He liked my father he did he met him drunk him under the table the king not my father the adopted one he loved each other.”
“Fuck off nothing happened?”
“Why did he shook up so much when he went to the portrait gallery?” He seemed to not to know his way round as if somehow he had floundered then he said take me round what you know of London and we did. We ended in the cafe of the gallery the thing was he seemed to have found out what it was.
“He was shy.”
“We have now the computers.”
“Why did she not get shagged but me got disfigured and then taken off the register? Why I think they had to buy time for what was going on. They did not want to leave the good times they wanted extensions to what mattered they were having fun.
“Everyone says and speaks the same kind of computer speak.”
“What would he be doing with a old man like your father?”
“Maybe he reminded him of his own dad?”
“New seekers of fortunes.”
“Do not make sense his father and he never get on.”
“Marriage is about fortunes made.”
“What matters is nothing has happened.”
“Well did it not?”
“My father went dead overnight. Like he had caved in. Keeled over as if someone left him.”
“He lost on something?”
“That was never his love?”
“He just died.”
“But he left everyone guessing who he left his vitals to?”
“He died because he had damaged his brain.”
“Fortunately can it be proved?”
“That was about when he had been nineteen he died at seventy.”
“So his fortune was safe?”
“He was seen somewhere about?”
“Where and with who which is the lucky person who he has left his fortunes to?”
“He did not have any.”
“All the whores got rich.”
“He always nearby.”
“Well suppose he liked them whores.”
“When he had one at home.”
“Variety is the spice of life.”
“He wrote for the newspapers too. He had the feel for the animals he also liked the farms. Maybe this made the connections maybe this was the fun?”
“Well it never would have worked. Your dad was inarticulate nothing on his head not one moral strength at all.”
“He went to them Big Issues.”
“He was not much of a man?”
They did not have the means before. Suddenly they floating in money, He the prince had been there. Took a big shine to them.
Liked her smell. She introduced him to her side and he got into something big too he able to deal with the money and world added to status and did well. Before he drifted round and round making endless toils never getting on and seconds to none. He did not have his father he locked his dad from his heart. He never had the right dad and never felt anything at all.
The poet the whore the babies money and then golden handshakes.”
“Whatever did you say? ”
“I did not say a word.”
Baby its cold outside it is okay baby is wet outside baby- baby,? It is hell outside. It is vague outside it is alright. Yes what is the man in the Greek part of Cyprus doing in the same Scotland saying the same kind of words?
“You always contradict me never think about my dignity.”
We had gone off to the Greek Cypriot border control the man was in some kind of a cafe as he leapt out. Saying some words. Came back when he said some words then left the scene.
He reminded me of my uncle’s son the same kind of a run the same kind of highness of hand the same kind of revolt. The same kind of psychotic designs. The same kind of being in the same kind of limbo of scenes of disasters. The same kind of some kind of fear. The vampire land the vamps. The unkindness of that run and he did run off in the same shabby way.
What manners of some misconduct. I felt the mistakes I have made. That this is not the land of mankind this is when the victims are made. The cold-cold things which I felt as I made up my head that is not the right sort of victim. That this is not the victimisations which we need this is the disease this is the makings of new meanness.
I am not that sort to be fooled around this is not the makings of my own folly to feel this is not me. That I am not going to make it happily at hay market there are bagful of riches.
That the niece had and the nephews had nearly been taken but the voice of the Scottish man who is working on the North sea oil rig saying he is working in some cafe. Is he the same? But he sounds the same. Saying the same things about the billions which Russia has lost and he has lost but the catering trade okay?
So if this man is working in some cafe what is he saying about the billions that he has lost? Is it that he is some kind of a shriek. What’s the meaning of what he is saying in that interview? He said he had partners six of them and he has been running a cafe and that he has now lost Russia money.
In fact he is making ends meet? Whatever next he can run until next year or something?
To my uncles dismay none of his children were speaking to him when he had this thing this accident when he had been arguing with his wife. Then the uncle had not been said a word he did not even sit down he had been told he had killed the wife the mum. No time for food the food is for when mum gets better no time for anything?
I have not sat down for nine days I have been wandering not sat down I have not sat down for a brief moment I have wandered too long.
Are you standing now uncle?”
“Hum I am standing I can’t sit down some old bag is sat down she is old and needs the seat.”
“I am in love and not marrying anyone else.”
“Is that all?”
“Uncle tell her you need to sit down.”
“Yes because they asked me and I told them I do not need pickled onions.”
“No I can’t sit down I can’t it is over for me.”
“That meant what?”
“Uncle your brain is dying the brain is going to collapse you must sit down. Just take some tea and sit down just tell the nurse you are in the hospital are you not?”
“I think so.”
“Don’t you know?”
“I can’t see.”
“His wife wants to mate with me too but say to that no.”
“Uncle just sit down lie down or something.”
“Good bye. Tell me ask your mum and dad to come over I must speak to them too.”
We must go to her aid. No time for anything you are a bad man a mother like ours you should never have done this. Fucking priests we should all be priests fucking priests not even allowed to sit down and be family. A priest we should be the betters of the human race we are not even allowed to be with the wife because it is sin.
“That we can sin and sin more of the same.”
“Sharing is good for us?”
“I do not think it is. I think it is bad to share in a bed because that makes it not nice at all.”
Then he phoned London, I spoke to him but realised what the matter was he had the blocked synapses and when the emotions came or changed his brain reactivated and he had to be told to sit down. Or he would haemorrhage and die. But he put some more coins in the coin box and would not hear of it. Mum and dad spoke to him I pulled the cord from their hands he should not be speaking to anyone his synapses would be drowned.
“We are not interested in what you feel or think we think we are in the right.”
Dad the adopted dad was dying and there I was being adopted by other ideologists. In fact I was being corrupted. Its a vile and evil world.
Because he had been standing going round from bed to bed he had to do the exact opposite not to die. He did not care he said he just refused to be told what he was told to do that he was that sort of a man.
It is like a blood thing it is stuck in the brain then the emotions which was blocked releases the blood and makes it rush through the synapses sensitising the painful area and making him feel. The intensity of the pain makes him like a wild bull and he was tearing to go some place he must have been walking lopsided the first signs of the thing. Then the whole brain comes through the pain and he dies. The first thing to do is not to panic or even activate panic just be calm sit him down and bring a cup of tea.
“Everyone after them!”
“I had a goat that went lopsided.” said father.
“He went lopsided why dad?”
“I hit him.”
“He did not recover again.”
“It was a she was not she because you were milking it and the milk spilled over and you had to add water.“!
Dad just stared as his brother died.
The tea comes from the Indians who have women beaten up to such an extent that the women noticed that this is the only cure when they get beaten up.
I had an Indian girl friend at school who told me this as a thirteen year old we were discussing what is medicinal and this is what we said to each other that tea which had many terms of expressions was this and tea has the many words which the Indians use...
Everyone now wants to marry me when I refuse they want to murder me. I do not have a choice do I?
That the words of tea are the many 30 versions of it like snow or something? She gave me this look; she gave this look as if sorry she has spoken to me. She just gave this long distant look as if the words did not mean snow at all. That the words did not mean snow it meant something quite different what it meant not snow as the snow meant something like skiing or some other folly what it meant was something else like survival.
And this is what they found out. I do not know why it is also popular in China too. As the Chinese do not have any more wives.
Denktas had it sorted, that meant he did something vile. Amber turned out to be like in Grease Lightening she had changed her shape into Madonna’s. Amber became someone else a star. My sister Z who had benefited from a drawing expertise had met her in the nude. I should be so lucky, no that was Z.
But this other Amber who had the arms off with some sort butchery was now in the shamed position of being a tragic victim. So the new thing came out, and the old went out. Everything sort of sorted it was the butchers who made her into a kebab owner.
That sorted the good Denktas could continue being his charming self centred good government governing everything in movement and noting the chaos of the nationalism. This having nothing on his mind but the good his own people and his personal habits.
The thing is about plunder that he did indeed plunder that must be why the Cyprus got divided because he did not respect ownership has no real morality and has the following which makes him such danger which must have made them Greeks think why bother?
So the leaving of the villages which did not bear witness to any sort of a fight must be some sort of evidence of why Cyprus was divided. The Greeks left most of their things intact with the good clothes and everything and went away.
They left their books they left the pots and pans they left freezers washing machines all intact they left most of what they wanted. The clothes from everything not even making the single mistake of being able to see what they left behind. Most of the men did work there and then they too were dismissed for theft. It just looked like everything intact nothing broken nothing left that did not make the town happy they left the things and just went away.
“It is about plunder we are enjoying everything for free it is my wardrobe I can now wear the things I wanted. The makeup is glamorous I look like a that magazine.”
“It is here there is still that I wanted I thought they went away with the things I wanted it is still here.”
“No one works here.”
“It is provided for by them who are wise.”
“No one works at all?”
“Why farm work is not the thing we are not into farm work at all.”
“So you all share the copying at school when you leave school you get married then what do you do?”
“We meet the guests who went to our wedding.”
“We have children.”
“The children go to school.”
“We have our children married off they look after us.”
“So why not now?”
“Happily mum died.”
“Auntie is looking after the other mum.”
“They get on together more.”
Anyhow the thing is not to say them words I worked on the plot of land which I was given and everyone were so amazed as if I landed on Mars and made the Martians amused. We had nothing like money nothing like anyone to pay the bills. What did we have to do?
“He will not be pleased to see you working he does not like that. He will be so offended for you are working.”
“We are all under arrest.”
“He is not used to not providing for us.”
“The government will.”
“He provides more for us we do not have to do any work. He can provide so much more than food.”
“He does not like to see you work.”
“He does not like a pretty thing work?”
“Everyone works for him what he says goes.”
“The work we do the work what is that?”
“Whatever he says.”
He will be not amused by this it is not wise to cross him. He does not like it you are still working.
“Look do not say that let me give you a note so that you can pass the exam with a better grade.”
“Look let me tell you what to say do not like to see someone thinking something other than what he wants us to say on the exam papers. Look that boy he can think he is more used to it than you.”
“He is thinking does he have that look when he is thinking?”
“Oh yes he feels literature intensely?”
“Hi boy did you just think something more important than that dickhead over there?”
“Never what did she say?”
“He has been looking at the male penis for an age.”
“Why I asked you out into the aubergine gardens?”
“Fuck yourself dear you are ...”
“Never mind what he is.”
Which was not very expensive but gave pleasures unique and lasting which the songs which are song is a living proof of which the women do sing. They sound as if cats are left alone at night and become uninhibited.
Having added this to his film does as well being the good has been muscles not working but mouths are. The acting does not bear any resemblances to anything and of course the males have to do but shag the actresses. This is what they make of them. In fact it does not bear any resemblance to such as thing as acting as the toilets in the super academy bear to witness.
There the woman was shouting and spitting at him.
“Mr Denktas why they spitting on you?”
“I am still handsome that’s why.”
He has a erection. Look filthy bastard not on the bus the thing is not on this bus this bus is for sale. Penis off limits. I do have my best days on them buses he told me. The woman was still angry trying to catch the bus. I am a twit he said calmly. There is no doubt my innocence was disturbing I did not see the ugly side of this. I was sixteen going to be seventeen one does not at that age especially since I had never been outside the house.
I had been with him on this day trip we had gone to an art gallery it was in the National gallery and this made me so happy. The happiness was interrupted because he did make a move and the guard he did not say anything but made it obvious not the thing. I watched all them paintings he had gone outside and was seething. I did not understand what made him angry and he did not say another word.
Then he said he had to go some place and this woman came out of nowhere towards him launged at him. I thought he had been attacked assassinated and this was so much more fun. Just like that thing where the artist got shot. I wondered it was my first watch at someone less than likable being assassinated it was so much more fun. He did look sort of fat and like someone who was stuffed and did not look right with his waistcoat and pocket watch this made it seem he lived in some other age and this made me think of Pickwick papers which was like Mr Mac crowbar. He must owe her money then? It appeared so because he said he never paid for anything at all. So he had to pay something which was so beastly so there he was walking like he owed a lot and she went for him.
I did not warn him as he got off the bus because I did not think she would be over the moon. I wanted her to have something like him because he did not make people happy. I thought maybe she could do to him what debtors would like to do to someone like him.
I saw her do this as he got off the bus she shouting at him shouting at him and spitting. Then she banged into the lamp post. Her nose got broken she just stood there. She standing the bus moving. Then he walked away. He just walked away. She had stood stunned like he had never been nearby. The understood look. She was crowded round and she just fell.
“I am a mother.”
“I am now not your mother it comes and goes my instinct for motherhood.”
The bus moving he went away walking and this was nothing I did not understand it at all.
My father explained it to me when I went home apparently she had this affair then all the documents got into his hands. The lawyer wanted to see the documents from the Noah to the present and then they sort of made it shredders.
It was a mistake, so they said the secretary got it wrong put it in the wrong tray. It had been an honest mistake. She thought the documents to be shredded. She had always been told that tray. Then the lawyer came to find the wrong documents copied.
“Oh the secretary not there too long?”
“No it was her first day.”
“Not true second week.”
“It ruined our lives.” said the husband who had attacked the lawyers. He got seven assaults charges.
But could not find the right interpreter for the right language. So he did no expand how it happened. By the time they worked through the Kurdish the Greek and them other languages the man lost his command of himself then he boxed the hell out of it.
This he changed everything. Her husband went to jail. She finished with the affair. He got the shop and she went into a council flat. Then the children found out she in trouble. Her husband now out of jail. She has nothing. It turned out the shop not freehold but leasehold. Then they had nothing to do but to rent it out to someone else. Who did not even have to pick a pocket or even a tooth.
This explained it I sort of thought too much coincidences happened with documents when he nearby?
“Well he is known as the best forger ever which is what makes him.”
“He is a forger?”
“Is he a painting?”
“Of course not. That can’t happen. He is so droll.”