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Chapter 4

Meanwhile back at Psycho land when Hitchcock was making his master movie. The sibling rivalry sorted like the post bags at the post office we are getting our laundry as well buy one get seconds second.

Back to Hitch when he was trying to enjoy being the master of the directors come back man what did he make of it those films? In fact he just spent a lot of time making sense of his life and his wife or something which distressed the poor woman as she had no useful hints to his films whatever next you should have seen his and her life?

No in fact they looked so dull that it dismayed me. I prefer to think of Hitch the masterful director able to command and do the improbably. It was a great disappointment to me to see him having a nagging wife and his responsible position. He thought about deadlines and making the schedule and this and that. It makes me think shame.

“She meant nothing to no one no one reported her missing no one missed her she just disappeared from view. As if she did not exist. She just disappeared. No one noticed, not her mother or father her man left with someone else. She had gone so was of no use to anyone. Her sister made so much millions and everyone has a film to watch forever more.”

“Thou shalt not kill one of the ten commandments” in the Koran in the Bible in all the religious books. “Thou shalt not kill.” It is on the first page of the page which says not to kill it is one of the first commandments. There is nothing else it is on the first page of the Koran on all the other books as well. It is mortal sin to kill someone. It is mortal danger of the soul it is damned you will not only go to hell but so will your children who live by that sin.

It is a mortal sin it contaminates the line it is dangerous and one is then the carrier of that murder to beget the riches which you have the life you lead by that condemns you to eternal fires of the damned.”

“So is factual murder the same as the one on screen?”

“You mean when celebrities murder it is not the same?”

“Well like all them paedophiles celebrities you know it meant nothing to those children did it?”

“I am sure they felt it just the same my dears. I am sure the things happen just the way if it is the celebrities. The same as when a small time crook injects you with his or her poison for poison is poison it kills just the same.”

“We commit this mortal sin with the cull?”

“Yes with the cull we mass murder so that to keep the numbers down the same thing happens with the animals so that they too can go and come in a easy manner.”

“It is called farming right.”

“The other thing is called good government.”!

It had all began with the name Becket the writer who wrote Waiting for Godot in French. I did not know Thomas Becket who did exist in the middle ages. In French and waiting for Godot and 1984 a man named Blair who was crashed by a elephant and who had many male friends who wrote 1984 and then disappeared. Not his male friends he was sort of a legend something like Freud not approachable.

A genius why he wrote Animal Farm as well. I do not know where he got all his research from but somehow his being in India and all the great writers coming from India who now write about being English. This somehow got me thinking who this character was and why his being in India and him coming from India made every writer into a Indian?

Why the God of Small things and then we have the Good Rushdie the best ever writer of English people that ever was. He has been chased by them good Muslims and he dares not go out unless it is a Penn meeting! A night at the Oscars and all the other places that is a surprise. He even has time to have this young actress wife. Why she is costing him millions. It is such a good Fatwa or something? He is as we speak protected night and day as he sleeps in case he wakes up and needs a glass of water or something.

This other great writer was in the police force in India for twenty years. Being in the police force helped him along the way. He had been a great policeman until he got crushed out of the force. An elephant attacked him when he was policing. I don’t like to think what had happened to him. But it had been very painful. He always stated that he had been set upon by the gangs he was dealing with.

The gangs had no such ideas in fact being gentleman and all that they only gang rape women and that on buses. The Indians were sad to see him go and he left the poor Blair a broken man. His marriage in shatters. A alcohol problem too? Why it made him write so good. His having the shakes the rocks and his rocks on the rocks made him write masterpieces. Coming up for Air and Down and out in Paris or something? Anyway his best known Master works were Animal Farm and 1984 which I would dearly bought him out for. I would have said pistols at dawn and come without any clothes on. I think I would not be alone in saying what a writer.

He improved on the essays and made Virginia Woolf seem like a lesser intellect him being of finer mind than her. She had a long nose she had too many rich friends and he despised to think he did not have any.

There being a war on I think it was the Second world war. His being in the first world war had made him a young man then. Now him being in his forties or something made him like it less.

Him not having the good things which meant he did not get it. He got the work without the gravy him not making it to the gravy. This gravely put him out. He did not make much of a living his life was one of less riches than he had thought. For all the fine work he had done. So he wrote a lot and with much pain and many friendships were formed. Him being of interest to all meant he did not have such a bad life. In fact his intellectual gifts were such that he is considered one of the greatest writers of all time. He is such a great writer that his name is enough to sell any show or anything he is not even the mortals he is immortals considered so fine and finest thing that set the twentieth century to lights made the words ignite and blow bright and shining forever more.

The English language safe in his hand. He wrote bloody fine prose. The editors did not have to work or rework anything at all when he wrote he did a fine job no bloody work when he wrote the editor just sat and blinked at how great he was. He just wrote the editors published and then paid him a sum of money they went to party and had a parlour game with the pillory and then when he got it they just smiled at him.

“You mean he was placed in a stock?”

“That is not what I meant to say.”

“He got infected with a illness and had to be injected.”

“The new way round difficult people.”

“Does that mean if someone is different or difficult they become infected with a disease and then they have to be cured?”

“If they can be cured.”

“Every century has a hit list of what to do with the torture chambers.”

“Like the Spanish had the inquisition.”

“The Turks had the pikes and the English had the stocks.”

“Now we have the hospitals.”

“What do they do?”

“There is nothing they will not do to make one conform to the general public of what one is supposed to be.”

“What is that?”

“That which is ordinary and cordial.”

“Hello a nice day and so what?”

“What is that supposed to be?”


“Now no more mysticism tell.”

“The thinking is that it is a nice day and we are cheerful about it.”

“Otherwise we would not be cheered by this.”!

“We all know it is a nice day and there is nothing to intervene or interfere with our rights to say it is.”

“What she doing to us?”

“So we go to hospital to learn not to infringe on another space?”

“No we learn to speak so that we are not emotional and so we can relate to others with the nice day.”

“That is what is normal.”

“A normal conversation about the weather.”

“A very normal discussion on what to make of the weather.”

“Yes that is why at the BBC they need twelve weather people.”

“One or two are having their last supper.”

“You mean they are being fired?”

“What else could it be?”

He was such a great writer to have made many friends and did and such a great deal of writers happy to follow his lead. Why if he did not write such grand and great prose why should he be such a great author? Why because of him and his standing we know where to get all the great authors that the society of authors makes us publish. In India where they know how to produce fine upstanding work by them English writers writing about them English.

Midnight Children is all about them English. Why it won the Booker prize then it went and won all the other stupid bookers prizes then if we hang round another twenty years will perhaps win them all the other stupid prizes. If anyone else wants to write we must beat them prizes then we can go out to lunch with them ask them how many words a minute they write. If they don’t write with the good secretary skill we will punish them by escaping to lunches. For we are all firm believers that lunch is what makes writers and getting no lunch from us makes them hungry.

He made a lot of fine minds think. He made mankind think that he thought was most of what he did best. That because he wrote mankind would think of what he had been what he meant what he said what it meant to write if write anything at all.

But today we have playwrights who think that we don’t need to think we just enjoy chaste cars and having 50 shocks and then we leave the cinema in such bliss that we had all them electronics and playing time and we had somewhere to sit for 2 hours that did not cost a bomb.

Becket the Playwright and Becket the man in the middle ages who wrote the code for the behaviour of the English parliament in dealing with Kings and Queens! A king must not act like a jail bird but must think out of his problems by connivance by thought and understanding of his opponent and thinking out ways to outwit him and make his life into some sort of a thinker. Imagine a King who can’t figure out how to mend his fences and do the honour the decent and just has a wife or two and parties until his penis drops.

A king who can’t think is worse than useless. He is not the king we want leave him outside to mend his flower arranging and let the good Cambridge bred more thorough breeds. I name this ship we deal in champagne and make queens and kings and mate in the royal stable we are arranging a good match with a cricketer his name is nothing.

Indeed mum did you have enough cake the queen has a special cake maker? I am watchful of my expenses I need to diet in order to spend money polishing off the silver. The candlestick maker only charges so much millions. He has to do his menial labour. I say did the horse guard just fainted? Oh bother I let him stand too long in the showering sun.

It slipped my mind when the clock tower struck the wrong hour. They must think me worse than anything not to set good time keeping. I daresay the silver man did not come to any harm we can’t get them anymore they are out of fashion.

To set the tables and chairs one must have the exact manners and to conduct oneself in the manners of the gentry. To think that no one wears such good hats anymore. At Ascot’s it has no taste at all why it becomes no one to be wearing such extravagance when it makes them look like dolls without any appearance of the gentry.

To think the future looks bright with the good Queen knowing how to dress and stand up straight. Knows how to eat with the delicate mannerly conduct and not even swearing in public. Such a good thing he found her. The others ate like horses I can’t stand horses anywhere but in the stables.

To make the kings and governments think that is what Becket did in the middle ages. Thomas the Becket who saved the English from becoming animals who lived and added to their linage in a orderly manner. Thomas the Becket who did make reasonable kings and queens who gave England reasonable rulers.

Intelligent rulers who knew that to add to the misery of the public made them weak as rulers. But indeed today we have nobody who wants to care for the public the church has about 400 priests listed as paedophiles! But it is in God’s hand those priests are let loose on children because they are trusted by their head priests to do their Christian duty and to defeat the devil.

Well in order to defeat the devil should you be standing and protecting the priests not doing something wicked? No he has to go and say his prayers that would make them priests not wicked. Would you do that if you were a child? Indeed that is where I learnt to trust in God.

“No but I can Pizza?”

Drug companies are making us rich and richer by far then we can go on our hols. Indeed it is in our best interest to see to it that the drug companies makes money so that we can go on a holidays. No not to Africa they have the Ebola again. No before it had been Aids. Dear things the patients get out of the hospitals in order to escape them doctors and nurses.

Well think of it they can’t be contagious the doctors were not wearing anything but rude manners. Did the doctors die? Let us pray the priests would be doing that but till then we have to train black witch priests in order that when they come here they can make the right ritual burials. They are wasting many hours not having to deal with it in their cultural way. They can’t transport them souls and do not know if they are comforted when making their journeys to the underworld they need to be carried over safely.

Yes band aid will make them a lot of money and give free public relations and improve the black Mafias money problem. They have been too long busy. They need to go to Vegas and enjoy a million pounds worth of cakes one for each of the leading mafia.

“How many are they?”

“I can’t count them it must be many.”

“A dozen or less?”

“More than thousand.”

“Don’t you say that many cakes?”

“Well it would give the Cambridge family something to bake.”

“But what if the future queen dies?”

“ Then we sing the song candle in the bloody wind.”

But them were the good old days today we model our behaviours on the good Marilyn Monroe as we sing to our good dead future queen’s and kings like Marilyn Monroe candle in the wind why it made me eyes water such tactless bad taste. Why even Henry the 8th would not have chosen such a litany of disaster? What not enough bad taste we will do better.

To work we go and to think what else we have in store to think better to deal better to rob the rich to enrich the lives of our own. To work we go and off to work we go to think to make better and in order to make them grow.

To grow the grasses to mend the gardens to deal society a blow job. To inordinately shag the priests and grow into disease to grow to grow to senility we grow and to think we do not have enough bad taste to go round at all. To dress the perfect to make the wicked to grow to grow to shag each we glow in the dark with electronic lights to do super ingredients to make them watch out for bad senseless tastes which we love to show.

“When I grow up I want to be like Pistorious and commit murder then get into heroics and do them all in.”

“When I grow up I am going to kill all my family in order to write a good book that would become a best seller.”

“When I grow up I want to rob a bank and make them pay for it.”

“When I grow up I want to be like Scottish historians starve the people and make them peasants.”

“Then drill with them BP and get upmarket.”

“When I grow up I want to be like Paisley take two and take one then leave them with a church a wife and some druggist for companions.”

“When I grow up I want to be a pilot and then fly to history and back then go to Welsh and become a hooker of girls.”

“I want to do something like read the meter?”

“Whatever next?”


“It makes everyone respect me and pretend I am nobody and look round them houses and see everyone at it when they are having sex.”

“When I grow up I want to horse round.”

“I want to go to the kennels.”


“To set fire to it?”

“I want to make a meal like Mac Donald’s.”


“No what about horse meat for them supermarkets?”

“They don’t do horse meat not supermarkets. Them have clean living healthy lifestyles. With home issues and Marie Claire.”

“I want to beat them at the Oscars.”


“Then I can murder everyone at the show the Cannes film show.”

“Will it make you rich?”

“I don’t think so but my mum will get to watch she does so enjoy good TV.”

“It must be filthy being rich?”

“Well they can get away with murder.”

“Well that is because them being rich?”

“Them have too many expert witnesses.”

“Yes them do at least we know the poor can’t murder the rich but the rich can murder everyone makes it democratic.”

“Me have rights?”

“Yes don’t go outside and keep your noise clean.”

“Them rich have the rights over to murder me?”

“Well look at Pistorous?”

“Well I will be damned then I go out with this gun murder every rich bastard in town.”

“Well they will hang you?”

“I hang out with no one anyway nothing to lose.”

“Them job centres won’t leave you alone with a criminal record?”

“Me sister hooker to the judge shan’t interfere with our lives.”

“She has hooked up with the judge whatever next what he see in her?”

“In fact it is a she.”

“Well was it the same judge who judged that case?”

“No she be too old?”

“Do you think they do it in the library?”


“Well they be no longer allowed in the library.”


“They can’t want me to read.”

“Well why is that?”

“Said I am too clever able and nothing like rich people they can read not someone poor.”

“But them rich people they don’t have time to read they busy breaking everyone’s heart.”

“Yes but them wants to read so we are still waiting for them to read in order to read the books they have taken from the libraries.”

“Them have first rights?”

“Yes because them paid for the libraries the buildings and contents insurance.”

“Well why did they do that?”

“Don’t know but it makes the library a jungle when they come in and say no that one shall not read today drive her outside and waste her.”

“With what?”

“With them dickheads trying to get in the way as she tries to get some books they look and start and stand in the way. Makes for discomfort and this and that. There is no room and eyes start at you when you like some book as if caught in the zoo.”

“I hear them mothers say this and makes me weep with laughter them stupid rich bitches making their children into rich criminals makes them seem stupid.”

“What do they say?”

“Not saying you only make fun.”

“But get on sister there is no time coronations on next?”

“What coronation?”

“African President remarrying his first wife?”

“Whatever for?”

“Grand child has married American president.”

“Oh that is wicked.”

“Well them too serious you see them middle of the road persons without our dark skin. We have skin of a crocodile but them too emotional mean with emotion them not fit to kill or something but the emotional disturbing to see.”

“Why too emotional?”

“Them too used to films sister we don’t do many films them always at some movie so them be too emotional pay attention.”

“Look what they say is something like this in the best forties film style. With them breathy voices them being too emotionally involved probably practising something else too?”

“Like what?”

“Maybe porn or something them stars have to switch jobs you know.”

“Yes it makes them ham if not.”

“Well I see them practising their many parts in them ways and means this filthy bitch makes for this writer and the relatives are offered something big to kill her. They don’t reason that they are being watched by all the world it makes for so much humour them honour killing a woman writer and them world watching them do it.”

“Them be on face book?”

“Something worse they be on Scotland Yard books.”

“You are in with me child this is our war this is how we behave because we are from a country which has no rights for the individual. That everyone has to be in groups getting the money or disappearing from the clan. We work we work because we marry and we belong in the rich clan who made marriages their sole goal in life. If we sense even the scent of money we bring and buy everything you have noting how much you leave and how much we can buy from your dear self. No use being selfish we own you we are blood.”

No use liking someone who disagrees with you. Our ways are simple we live to make money to increase to make no decreases. Children increase your value. Your value is the children you will make you money from.

“The more children the greater your value. Shirley Temple value why she sold more horses than any other star.”

“Shirley Temple the template of our disasters.”

“She became a national baby.”

“Then an ambassador to the embassies.”

“Why she made her papas rich.”

“Indeed learnt so many languages.”

“A gifted scholarly girl a woman to be proud of.”

“A distinctive parentage.”

“Yes a child star.”

There is no other way of making alliances. When you have no reasonable profit to make then you are over and done with. You are sold and made into captive. If you don’t make money. Take this child? It has value it is innocent on the stock exchange can sell and resell it for any amount. We print its photos we make them into little artists. We clothe them and all the others watch and that sells stuff.

When the child grows then we make the other child the toy. Children can sell anything we like them too. Children can sell any amount of trash they can make the weak strong they can move mountains they can sell coke to a diabetic. They can sell vodka to the nuns they can make the springs appear dull. They can take the smile out of Marilyn Monroe. They can bring the husband’s home or tell it to go away.

They can move a grown man into groans of innocence and hopes. They can bring hopelessness into laughter. They can sell Bingo and they can drive an insane man into insanities or normality. Children are God’s to the commercial world.

What we give is not bookworms but the innocent child in order to brighten the world and make it a better home for us.

When you want someone to do the right thing by the clan there is no holes barred. We don’t take prisoners we enslaved them.

There is no place for difficult thinking. There is only this simple truth the meaning of life is money. If they want to marry your deceased mother you say yes and then make the wedding arrangements. The nuptials over then make the money and leave them to it.”

“To mate to mate is to better the stock the market. The blood the stock the thing is not to mate without parental consent. Then marry a rich thing better your prospects if divorced do the right prenuptial increase the coffers. Get on with friends leave the husband to get on with his. Perfect marriages when they don’t look at each other for long.”

This is the wisdom of our fathers this is our traditions this is how we live and mate we dislike working! We have nothing else to mate with. Work means concentration and spillage of our minds we dislike working. It is okay for a little time but why work when play is better?

“Then mother’s come with their little children this child is first they have the damn right to be in the front. In front of this old woman who shall not read in this library. I am a mother this is my child that woman shall not come in and startle that child. The book is okay I think what do you think husband?”

“A coffee would be nice?”

“ I shall make sure you sit down and stand and read round that child?”

“Men don’t like reading they have nothing else on their minds but facts and one of them is children which they see and the little vagina.”

My child’s library book has gone missing. This book I did not tear to pieces. Look this library book I left it was in one piece now it is torn to shreds.

“You have to pay Ms.”

“ I will not pay.”

“ Then you never come to this library again.”

“ Good what a place a library book torn and this woman does not believe me?”

“The librarian does not think not my fault what a thing to happen that this book got torn and now I have to pay for a book?” And she disappears smiling as if caught in the act of mercy killing. A library book torn then she waltzed off to make and do something like her hair?

The Librarian can’t understand this? There is something odd about all these high class whores coming into the library to tear the books. Whatever next? Think nothing of this and that why are they tearing them books? The children are intensely not sorry they think it is all a joke their mothers and aunties are playing at.

A book? A book which is what a thing of no account of nothing no meaning to anyone? Not like some perfume or a dress from some superstore. Some fashion house which will gain in value? This little book? This book; which is torn and in bad shape? Whatever next? What is important about books? Why should this book be so important that I should pay for it?

That my money which my money has the right to be so important that we earn with our blood which we must devour the world for? That we have shacked with all the best families for and got children for and made many families with familiar with and this damn book?

This little book is so important? That I must pay six pounds and fifty pence for it? I a million dollar face on some calendar must pay that amount for some shabby book? So that bookworms can read? A woman without a husband can read?

To enjoy stories when she should be on the circuit making millions of pounds and this and that happy? For her to stay in her staid middle age house when she has a princess courting her? Yes a princess who is pricelessly in love with her would die for her and make her into a coin? And she staying at home not going out and in the Library with books? What is she mad?

This woman has no right when we can’t have coffee when we are in this library with this queue. That woman has nothing to do with reading. She has started to screech about other issues. This is a nice library with us come in and making her startled into what is happening.

Children belong in libraries not old women. Not the old. Children read story books not woman. Women do not read they have many other things to do like die. Too many people coming in the library when we want to leave and go to work.”

“It is Saturday today why are you all working?”

“Well we want to love make.”

“Oh darling can you go outside and pretend all this alone?”

When we are at home in the homeland in the mainland we stay alive by doing various activities which are very normal looking. We stay alive by being normal. Do the washing up, the clothes line and then go to the shops queue and chat to the butchers adding spice to the discussions by saying the salami tastes like donkey that stood in the backyard and of course the donkey is not at the backyard but since disappeared.

“No we sold it and it has been made into cat food.” Said the wife as she appealed to good sense. Now in Turkey one does not buy cat food because food is scarce or was! But now we have the tourist board and everything and meat is one of the scarciest thing in Turkey. For a land which has the most herds meat is so scarce that when you find it you are blissfully happy to see it on your plate! The restaurant owner is a honest man.

“Rice there is rice?”

“Oh rice as well.” The rice comes and there it is on a little saucer and you want to see if there is anything else to eat?

“Not for that price.”

“Here the okras as well.”

“Well imagine such a good delicacy to eat in such a fine restaurant.”

“Indeed there are too many men coming in and out. Makes me nervous.”

“Well they must be hungry.”

“Yes I am finished I will wait for you in the rest room next street.”

“They don’t have toilets in this place?”

“No they don’t because the girl said she charged or something and made her living that way.”

“I say mum she has had men in there and is very busy.”

“Is she doing both the toilets?”

“Oh I will go and see.”

“Oh yes.”

“I will go right now.”

“Well is not it nice to be sat in this cafe and away from it all?”

“How is the juice?”

“Well very nice Mr.”

“Where’s your husband?”

“Not married.”

“Are you mental?”

“Oh yes I go to the psychiatrist every month to be injected.”

“Oh the poor soul what do you have?”

“Well I think it is schizophrenia the good doctor said.”

“Very unfortunate your misfortune is not nice.”

“Oh not true I am able to communicate with the world it is very nice I get about with my mother who has gone to the toilets over there.”

“Has she?”

“Besime don’t girl not the sort. Not..”

“She is very good worker?”


“The girl in the toilet.”

“My God there is the nice ant catcher.”

“Is there ants in here?”

“Yes we have to spray them?”

“What? That is not hygienic you have to close the place in order to do so.”

“Yes I will do it now.”

“Can I take my drink?”

“Take as many as you can carry?”

“Just like cash and carry?”

“What is that?”

“A place in London where the big restaurants buy in blocks.”

“Yes we have those too?”

“Have you?”

“Yes we do.”

“Where is the Turkish delights store mum always buys some.”

“It is over there.”

“Enjoyments can kill.”

“Kill what do you mean?”

How does it end with mummy hissing her mouth watering as she looks at the Turkish delights.

I am a diabetic.

“We are taking too many.”

“Says who?”

“The store keeper is mad.”

“He said that others might want some?”

“What buy all of them.” Said mum.

“We will buy some other boxes.”

“They are more pricy.”

“Look he has put the prices up.”

“In a way it is still cheaper than in England.”

“The thing is the lifting of these Turkish delights.”

“I will help you carry them.”

“You hate to walk.”

“I will do.”

“Let me see some nuts.”

“Leave it alone.”

“Yes we love these stores.”

“Someone come to the store.”

“The man is having a nervous breakdown.”

“Look how often do you come to Turkey?”

“Not often enough that is why we come to stores like yours.”

He sweats profusely and there is nothing but attentive gazing as his hands does the magic in tying the ribbons and the paper together. I feel amazed at how quietly and efficiently he does this without a moments thought or hesitation as if he is used to being this type.

He is a young man as he ties the last ribbons he and places the safety of the food hygienist at his disposal. He swears that nothing will be allowed to get into this master work. He has not had a misshape ever. Some stores don’t tie things as they should.

“We never had such a problem at all did we mum?”


“Why is he saying this?”

“You never had a problem like that but that is the most thing the weather is intolerant for this type of transportations.”

I was not exactly elated I wondered if this is what he and his mates were going to be doing. I felt not at all kindly towards the Turkish delights and thought that we needed to buy nothing from him. We left with mummy still seeking another ten kilo or something.

“Leave it alone mum.”

“Stop ordering me about.”

“They might be poisonous.”

“What never it is a nice store.”

“You worry unnecessarily we are Turks they don’t do this to Turks.”

“I think that is what he did mean come leave it let us go.”

“I find it hopeless you spoiling my holiday.” Said mum and in a huge huff she went near the pavement and stood to see if she could cross the road. All the traffic stopped when she stood like that and allowed her to pass.

My country is when they did the murders to get even the blood for the blood and the tooth for the tooth when that meant something.

“Now they do it for money.”

“No morals left.”

“Ethics as if we did have any before?”

“We made sure everyone thought we did.”

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