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Chapter 8

Back in Cyprus with the good Cypriot folk are preening themselves on having got away with it.

“She took the bloody money which she gave my grandmother when we first arrived.”

“She took her money which she wanted to buy a stove some butter and bread.”

“She took the money which grandma had dreamt of what to buy from it.”

“She took the twenty five pounds and did not ask if she had enough to live on as long as she had the money. She did not ask if grand would survive the visit which we had food from her. She took her money and walked away. Of course I gave grand forty pounds but mum thought she took the last drop of money from grandma.

“She just walked away from what she thought would be starving hungry old mother her mother and she just walked away from her.”

But what surprised me at first when we went to the house it was barren old worn out with not even food which did not require bottled from. She had a piece of bread which she stored in a little basket and she did not seem to have a lantern. It was such a dark house and it did not make sense she went to her daughters every day to eat and to be.

The daughter would offer her coffee and then before she drunk it take it from her. As if this was a joke or something. The daughter would drink her own coffee then she would take her mother’s before she drunk from her coffee cup. The two women would do a war thing as the daughter towered, the older woman would pretend to joke and then place her coffee onto the plate the other women who would come would laugh in some mirth.

The women would say what a good thing it was that they had such a matron over them to make sure they had the things which mattered. The older woman would drink her coffee sometimes she would make a show of it. The daughter would be still and pretend to be in a hurry to collect the other coffee cups as the women would make sure their cups were emptied and well into their hands.

There would be role play what to do with their own coffee cups the strong daughter would tower until she took her coffee cup from her mother. This would be ceaseless jokes and this and that did not matter. The only thing was how to beat the system and not to bother if they wanted their own coffee or not.

“I think they are starving grandma.”

“Not true.”

“Then why can’t she eat from her own orange tree?”

“She rented them out to those people.”

“But why are they always there to see that she does not eat any of the fruit because she only got fifteen pounds for the tree is it worth his while to be there looking all the time?”

“Why are they always watching if she eats anything at all?”

“Why are they so particular that nothing gets eaten if we throw it away they don’t mind if we go near to eat it they come as if clambering with stones and sticks.”

The grouped women were having their endless coffee morning jokes and they did nothing at all but talk in small talk. They did not say anything meaningful they did nothing at all but make endless remarks. They said nothing to make me feel uneasy they just made fun and joked all the time. But there was no feeling in grandmother she felt nothing more than this sadness.

“We got burnt the other time tell Meseret not to make it so hot this time.”

They laughed that they were committing the perfect murder and nobody would know that was what was perfect about this murder done in the public even witnessed by outsiders. Even the grand child did not realise their motives the perfection of it. The old tradition was being committed and the perfect crime was done there was nothing in it. The perfect crime.

“Done with laughing done with laughter’s done without any sort of effort at all.”

“The perfect crime.”

“Perfectly done.”

“Without taking out a gun or even getting outside the neighbourhood.”

“The perfect shape of things to come.”

“The perfect drollery of it all.”

“What a good idea.”

“What a shame no one will know.”

For coffees have to be made individually. In little coffee sauce pans in those days a saucepan only made one coffee or two at the most. So they could put anything in the one meant for that one person. There was this endless things to do what to put sugar without sugar or medium.

Or very strong very black or weak. Them women laughed and laughed the perfect jokes and the perfect murder done without malice with the coffee. Done as a joke with the coffee cups without the mate without the milk just with the mockery of housewives and them talking non stop. Coffee mornings would never be the same again.

“Oh you are being wicked and most of all.”

“I am very modest with it.”

“To think we are well pleased and very pleased to see you too.”

“To feel this and not to know what wicked deed we are doing.”

“What enjoyment is living.” I asked pleasant.

“To be not in constant use.” Said someone who did not realise as if something did not add up there was too many people present and someone was not quite right in the group. The thing was then they looked at each other then they looked at me. I was about fifteen years old did not know the rituals or any such thing. As if from London and these women talking very fast and furiously waving their arms and making pointed remarks which made nonsense seem right.

All them Turkish did not prepare me for the fast flow of the language you see when I left for London I had been about five and mother and dad did not appeal to conversations. Parents involvement with Turkish was bread and water and we listened to the radio every weekend. The Turkish broadcast once an hour on a Saturday repeated sometimes on a Sunday.

This did in fact not encourage that aspect of our lives. Or the delicacy of meaning which criminals have in their daily dealings and involvements which is what makes them perfect to be with when they are being witty wise with their guns.

In the beginning there was in between languages and the in between was not known. The nuances of language is strange for the language only came alive later when I sought to prove what in fact I had sensed. I did not have time to reflect on the strange behaviours of the women in fact did not want to be alarming or strange myself. I just stayed silent watching them.

There was this person who nobody knew but they did not want to ask if I was part of the grouped activities. I did not like to say being in one of those day dreams which I did not like to answer questions which might be annoying to so many grouped women. They were having their coffees. It must be the caffeine I thought giving them sweats or some such things which did not add to the talk as it was getting high pitched.

“My husband will not know what a good thing it is to have this proper house with the view to match I will build it with my son in law’s grant.”

“To think my daughter is the architect who will build this strong house.”

“To think we were destitute now we are no more so we are in clover.”

“Did you say clove?”

“A clove of garlic?” asked someone clever.

“What?” Grandmother was annoyed about something.

“If you must do so do it quick.” She turned her head round the corner.

“Onions and garlic?” I said getting angrier.

“Get outside the door.” Said grandmother.

“What she doing here?” asked auntie Z. And another woman I did not who it was. No relative said auntie Z looking peculiar. All the other women grunted as if horses would not talk.

“It is our ... Step outside.”

“She never comes here.”

“She has now must be important.”

“Why what is it?”

“Look take her away. She must not see this.” Said the woman who looked like Maria in the sound of Music. That the sound of music was written because of this woman. She rushed in getting heated there was this endless talk then the women went their own separate ways. They looked deflated as if their game was interruptions gone strange.

“Why what must I not see?” I went toward our acres and breathed a bit.

“What is happening here?” asked mother as if her insides had been torn.

I only realised afterwards. I only reasoned what it meant after the event when grandma was just a shrine made up shrine.

History lesson could have been better I guess but to think that the teacher who taught us GCSE history was or did in fact look like the one who taught Jack and Jill went up the hill. I imagine it could not have made it any worse that every time he spoke I went to the toilet and vomited I just vomited every time the history teacher said a word I went outside and was sick.

I was shaking one day in the corridor trying to get inside the history class then and there hesitating because the teacher had noticed that every time he spoke I went pale. I just did not notice why him speaking he just seem to be that teacher. I must have told him not true he did not ask as he had to get through the curriculum. So every time he said something in fact even if he did do his throat I went out.

“Into the toilet.” said a teacher and then I never came out of the toilet.

“No one said a word never interfered.”

“Nerves just nervous not used to studying.”

“Your behaviour I can’t understand.” Said the teacher finally, “Your exam results are below standard.”

“This is a exam room we are here to see to it that you do not copy we are here to do our duty. I am the head here I deal with such as the exams commission the commissioned have a duty to their legal obligations and we deal with people such as yourselves who will assume their legal obligations. I know that you all have made copious notes in there some place but I am here to deal with that.

I am staying put in here and will not budge at all. I will see you in here and make you all work and work hard. You will be the first Turks who graduate without cheating. The first Turkish from this land who will be genuine graduates.

Here in this small school there you will be the smartest Turks that ever lived a Turkish school which is honest has followed the exam procedure and produced people working collar people who have done their exams and sat through their curriculum and mastered their subjects and not done any cheating done their home work and have become people qualified with fine upstanding qualities gilt edged and have become normal citizens with normal expectations with due respect to the government him over there in the wall too.

The engineers of the future sat as we speak making sure the world we know goes forward into this climate of change and understanding how the machinery works. A nation so economic as we are and we have to deal with the economy no use men power is at stake we are dealing with shortages of staff and labour. Liberal thinking needs graduates to empower the weak to make us look we have achieved something in our man power to have made industry work to have made a better place of people who have done work worked their fingers to the bone and achieved this state. This statement of a state which we deserve in total.

In this slice of the country which we will divide and share the spools with and without anymore ado without any scandals. We will make this a country like Cuba. We will indeed better Cuba and indeed we will look better on our CV. We will make Cuba look like third rate country. Indeed we are better in medicine already we have the best aspirin service in the world.

This is not the summer school the guilty parties still have to look forward to that this is the school when it all begins we follow the chaffs the wheat the lukewarm at heart we are here to deal with this crisis that this war has placed on us and we expect hard work a labour of love knowledge without money we expect this to happen to you all as you sit there industry looks ahead.

The heads of state may be sat on them seats the heads now looking so colourful and hairy. The head of the Mosques the head of the health services the head of the condemned the police the head of the secret services the heads all sat looking as if they work but still sharpening their pencils. The banks they are safe because you can all add up for some reason you all add quick as you walk. There is something so obscene in this attitude there is no reason that the banks are so lucky.

I know you won’t cheat on the adding the spelling is all guess work the poets can go to hell or heaven the religion can be doctored the science is nowhere in sight but here we are safe the bank is safe. Indeed to think that the banks are safe in your care and capability is such a good feel to know that as you all sit there sharpening your pencils and making sure the name on your books are correctly spelled. I am certain you all will get A’s as the Mrs has set her heart on the villa in that part of the expensive place and the kids are growing up and need the place to share it with their friends.

“My kid always get a straight A without doing any studying at all she is that brilliant.”

“Oh mum you know I go to the house next door.”

“Yes you do I hear the music all the time how you can concentrate is amazing young you see?”

“Homework and all?”

“Yes straight A’s her tutor is marvellous no problem at all.”

“Statistically she has a size twelve.”

“Even more to the point she has a burst the size which is even and eventually will become most of her assets.”

“She is clever that one.”

“Of course she knows not to show her strong points just yet.”

Indeed if there is any justice in the world this place will get a down grade or even less but we are all in this to make our lives bearable living places and some place there might be something in sight someone who can make you all into persons of qualities some place somewhere madness still exist madness which knows no barriers which has nothing to do with the property markets which have nothing to do with the reason a animal is caged or reasonable poetry which has the soul the human the human in the things which we believed in now no more the mink coat the mink car the cardillac son in law the thin side of the marriage. The divorcees which we mate with the good things we all cleave to even when we know them bad.

“Oh I am wanted on the phone someone important?”

“Oh yes.”

“I will not be a moment.”

“Copy as you can and if you can’t see what you are looking for I am here to help.”

“That was a long phone call at least ten minutes.”

“Yes what is it now?”

“The drainage in the pipes are locked there is a sewer problem.”

“You see I am in the middle of an exam?”

“Oh it can’t be dealt with without your approval.”

“It can’t be dealt with?”

“We won’t have a toilet system the school will have to be closed for inspections.”

“I shan’t be a minute. Don’t copy just stop copying.”

“But Miss?”


“The toilets are nowhere near the school.”

“Zero.” She glared at me.

We seem to have a geography genius on our hands we are wearing ourselves trying to think who it can be. The geography genius knows where the sewers are and maybe can tell anything where everything is?

Now amongst yourselves we may be able to find this geologist or maybe the pride of our nation which we maybe lurking behind the corners of some place not far distant? This genius who nobody has time for and has nothing to do but make trouble cause trouble and make us insane with the contempt for which we have no place for.

We are a nation of peaceful people adhering to authority we have no place for someone who has a different opinion from what we say should be thinking. No time for differences of opinion in face no time when things have to be done to have time for thinkers at all.

The poets who have time on their hands mad people without any houses or responsibilities. As we have no means to have thinking poets and in fact poets at all. This is a time of war and poets don’t matter at all. If you are poets go elsewhere.

The thinking not to our taste has time to make fun for authority and has no respect for the men who have laboured and made this nation who know more than they can ever know.

Poets are for peace time this is time of war and want disease has come into our classroom a thinking disease. This is not the place for thinking to happen we are destitute nothing more than poverty is our concern to make matters worse our budget deficient is in the hands of honest people with economic drives and to think bitter thoughts now is a waste of time.

Now we must find this geography in case it causes disasters. The thing is here we can sense it is near us and it is not hard to figure out what she comes from the country where authority is not even made into Gods from. We know we sense this difficult woman yes indeed it is a girl to think a girl knows more than all the grey heads put together. In this hot climate do not make matters worse by thinking you are all going to get away with hiding this mistake.

“Now no more find me the map of a place and I will tell you if you made a mistake.”

“All of you know where everything is except this girl? Who knew where the pipe was and now has no idea where Cyprus is?”

“No that is Australia I am going out for half an hour please make her as you find her.”

The laughter was such that I sat down and told them to find everything on the map as I was not into finding things. The boys did not have to draw lines or something so they went to it with a will with the girls helping it took them more time than they figured. So I had a nice read which was a good book or something which made me amazingly content.

When the good general came them all kissing each other.

“This is a disgrace this is a disgraceful thing to have happened.”

“ Miss there is something amiss them got to wed.” I said as kindly as I could spare the book engrossed me so much in fact it was the best Turkish there was.

“Children, children mind your manners you will be caught out.”

“Them not on the pill yet?” I aided as I went to the loo there might be a blocked drain pipe I had a feeling it might be that. So I rushed to the toilet did my thing and then the toilet was closed for the day.

“Over worked worn out pipes.”

“Yes them old pipes need mending.”

“Last day of school you see.”

“Whatever next did you let her use them toilet against my orders too.”

“He had been talking to this jerk and that is why him late with it.”

“What did you call me?”

“Now no more the sister did not mean it?”

“Well it is very rough school I must say.” Said someone important.

“Oh madam”?

“It must be someone important and rich.” I aided the working man’s understanding of the situation. There was all them nice looking important families come to get their children’s code of important qualifications them looking outside the rails. They looked pretty nervous as if emptied out. There was this empty wringing of their hands. Them not made the right of choice of school then? Them lost out a year or two on education which would be useless in the official world.

“Oh my God.”

Everyone suddenly very polite as polite as anything in sight them so polite them against polite as such it made me want to go and sit down but not even that impolite. I should not be caring what they looked like not at all. Them as polite as society hostesses could be such polite society, the world of the rule book bent as everyone as softly spoken as the French. Everyone asking about the gowns from Paris and there the talk would end nothing more pleasantries as that.

“Did you enjoy Monte?”

“Yes him and I did a boat race.”

“Oh did you think him pleasant?”

“Him in disgrace the poor devil is getting wed again cost him dear the last time.”

“Yes he can’t keep himself amused all the wives are bores.”

“Look why did he say that?”

“Yes dear I am coming.” Said the hushed husband as he toddled on his legs making a step dance as if he descended from some clown.

“I want to leave this place and go elsewhere.” I had nothing but youth but I felt old as if old as old. That me old at sixteen was odd. As if my being sixteen meant me old.

I an old maid at sixteen? Me old at sixteen what did it mean? My mum was not old at thirty six and me old at sixteen? Why it didn’t make sense it was not good sense at all. Whatever next me as old as wise at sixteen they said me too good they laughed they jeered at me as I walked then nobody talked me but at me. Them so wise them was worse than anything they giggled in them monkey suits and looked like they had it made.

The way they joked in them suits made them look like somehow so important as if they smirked behind their glasses and it did not smell of lemonade. It smelled of something less honest. The boys made themselves into a line and then they bashed about. They were on to something they had to get them drinks out they had to get to their dates who were wilting for them.

“Hi honey I am coming will you please get out of my way I am fucking got a date. Lesbians should not be near us good people. We are always being annoyed by them fucked up lesbians as they gate crash the institutions.”

“Look get out of my way I have been waiting here with goodness knows what intents and my date is there having a flirt. She will get annoyed if I am not nearby to hold her hand as she gets so alone without me.”


“Are you sure we should be here at all?”

“It is my first date too?”

“With her too?”

“No not her.”

“Well get going dear boy I will get the drink while you go and hold her dear hand.”

“Is that true?”

“Oh yes we don’t want the little lady to be out of a handsome hand like yours now do we?”

“I am getting these drinks for a good cause the little people over there are going to hold hands and I am helping them by getting their drinks. Lemonade dear boy the thing is not to interfere with true love if they not be sober they might make mistakes.”


“Damn Martinis were with money lemonade free.”

“Oh God is that right?”

“Oh to think the poor lad had to fork out such a lot. Is there salt about?”

“Salt that is a good idea.”

“Them nuts should do the trick. Dear fellows shame on you to think I would do such a thing as to put salt into the drinks. Now you carry the drinks while I carry them nuts. Oh dear father there you are I saw you with that guy?”

“What is the meaning of this?”

“Nothing pa.”

“Nothing at all we are doing good work.”

“I am back for more.”

“You just had some did not you?”

“I did not have anything that boy over there took it over to that girl over there. Something fishy going on you know.”

“Yes I saw her take it to that couple.”

“Is that the head waiter?”

“Why no head manager.”

“Do you work in an office?”


“Doing accounts?”

“Well not at this do.”

“Anyway the queue situation has gone down you must employ more waiters you know.”

“No waiter not right thing on such a important occasion we dislike to think the economic situation can be further molested by a wrong marriage of inconvenience. Thank you.”

“Anyway that him over there not the thing at all!”

“What is wrong with him?”

“A nasty brothel keeper pretence to be a billionaire gets them girls into the family way and then makes a killing.”

“It is so useful to know what he makes his billions out of.”

“Is it before tax or they don’t know his income tax number?”

“Anyway the careful don’t go near him.”

“Oh I must be careful then.”

In fact I am most concerned that my ill sense of humour might make me meat on their table even more careful then careless. I make towards the door and leave them here there everywhere in the stores of the pleasure tables. I must say the noise proves the waiter right.

“Here it is dear boy and good marriage to you indeed to think we are all obliged to such good people as you two. I am going to break down and cry such a good thing to have got one married off.”

“Any relation to that?”

“I hope not dear thing.”

They wanted to make me into an example for having worked as a waitress them mean and portly I mean to do no injuries to them at all. They tried to humiliate me you know maddening this is maddening to think I belonged once in such a shameful way to these people. It is a eye opener to think that whatever I do and wherever I go there is always this waitress that everyone Turkish will see.

I am this Turkish waitress and I am without any rights or always in the wrong. I will be always wronged always unjustly accused. There is no way out but to remain calm as decent as probable and to think nothing is stranger than this. I will always to be tormented because I had to work for a living all my life.

If I had not worked we would have starved to death and without anybody to look after they think I would survive to tell this!

“If you work then you pay the price of being in the ridiculous; in the wrong. The moment you cease you are killed hacked to death left to rot and dry-cleaned. If you don’t work you starve imagine you can’t lose can you?”

A child does not work it loses caste if it does work. A kid is one of useless employments and does nothing but play and think good thoughts. A child who does is no longer good but an bad villain who will be corrupt and will contaminate the clan.

The working girl means to work with the sweat of the forehead the working climate is when nobody is doing anything. I am a mere hot thing no use to anybody but to feel and to be working with the body I am a body work. I am no longer a thinking girl. This is out of myself. I can’t will not stand by and watch this happen over and over again.

“What did you say cousin?” He had such a concern for my welfare he needed to be a welfare officer or something.

“Oh how are you how is your child?”

“ Not my child.”

“But you adopted her did not you a mere nine when she beamed into your orbit.”

“What that has to do with you?”

“I must say nothing at all.”

“Look thank you for that.”

“Look unpleasant cousin get off the line I want to flirt with that nasty looking boy as he has a mother I can’t go wrong.”

“You’ll be wasting your time with that he wants a billion for a price.”

“My God is he worth that much?”

“Him descended from the Sultans of some land.”

“I have landed myself into clover. I’ll go and make his acquaintanceship right now.”

On the way there happened to be a obstruction of lemonade and it got in the way as I moved towards it and had to queue as this made it very difficult thing to get. As there was a lot of boys making themselves in their way too because girls waiting for their drinks and nibbles at risk.

The boys would come to blows if their line was shaken or taken by someone else. Fist fights could occur if them not had them drinks and they not agreeable with someone not in line or even across their path. I got bumped in the stomach for being in the way of some idiot. I just got crushed out I went for a walk and went to sit down. Them there all smoking like fiends and there was nothing to do but to listen to nightingales having a spree.

Then cousins came took me by the hands and said,

“Not the place nor time we are not getting you laid not without permission.”

I wanted to hit something but there was only a stone and then went a silent as this would mean making a scene and not supposed to do that at all. They would think I was drunk. That would take care of the rest of my reputation.

“Why looking like that for?”

“I am not looking like that.”

“What are you thinking of?”

“I want to go away.”

“Where this place is the nicest place there is in the whole world.”

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t like this place not like this place?”

“No I dislike it so much that I can suffocate with it.”

Oh beaten to the post there must have been a postal delay him has got more mother superiors then the blasted knights of old. Posting letters to him are all the classroom girls I thought them all engaged? I agree it is a misunderstanding there has been no naughtiness at all in here and we are all school girls at heart.

And them even did not wait till they went to Turkey them done it here. Well that is a disgraceful thing them living lies and telling fibs all the time. It is destroying education in a big way. I feel such a disgrace should be made well and truly a disgusting thing.

I did not understand why everything was tradition and nothing was. In fact we are supposed to be virtuous people yet we live the most indecent lives. We murder for a little keepsake. We make love with women if we have to we murder each other then we pretend to be honours intact. We love to be out and about but when we are to be legal we are these virtuous peerless society things.

What is the point of being something living all these lies when there is no meaning in the lies that it makes for despairs not intentional. The life we lead is not what or who we are?

Is not being educated finding oneself discovering one’s truth and meaning identity and who that is we are and what matters to us as that clown who is representing that thing which his card says he is able must do? That being a doctor means being beneficent that being an policeman is being able to protect the criminals from committing crimes and being a lawyer is to put law above the needs greeds’ of the criminals? Being a bank is being able to manage the goods the chattels of that in the bank?

That being a shop means selling goods which are good for the society that being a farmer is being able to cope with the work and the dull things which make the farm. Like irrigation and this and that soil crops and this and that other this and that. Not let the towns flood at the first rainful.

That being in the army is not letting them gun down victims. That being employed means making employment your job not to go out and party. Every single lunch hour and across the hour. Being a journalist is not to make the news but to report the news. That being a mother is not to say you need a drink when you tell your children bed time stories. When being a thing which you are means doing the job you are meant to be doing and not trying to worm your way out of it.

We must know what it all meant at the proms that night we must know the true meaning of them drinks we must be told the facts of the situation we must know what it means we must know why?

“So she got the drinks to this couple?”


“Then she said something strange mum.”

“What did she say?”

“Something about her not being a relative of the couple.”

“Indeed then what happened?”

“I looked at them again then had my own drink to see to.”

“So what happened in that two ten minutes you know you are too careless.”

“But I was having this other thing to look at.”

“No way tell it to me what happened?”

“I don’t know by the time we all got our drinks and sat down took notice we had nothing more to look at them all at some hidden meanings and jokes.”

“Why did you get engaged you moron you could have been told everything in one go tell it to me again?”

“I told you mum there is nothing else that I can see.”

Woman’s curious and curious natures like a Pandora’s box. A woman is beaten by one thing not her sex not her appetites but her curiosity. The curious minds which women have they must know everything every last detail said a man who refused to give his name. That a woman has this weak spot. The only weak spot a woman has the Achilles heel as he called it.

The black box of the woman. A woman who will have to find out everything in this world. A woman who will stop at nothing to get the facts right as she needs to know what everything in the world goes on round her.

“Is it science she is after like that great poet said science or something religion or something else?”

The smile on his face made me pay attention my greed to know what his smile told me nothing made him look like someone who told lies. Him habitual at it too. It did nothing but to please me a secret something he did not want to share with me but was too good to miss out on. It made me feel less able to feel less agitated something of momentum was going through that smile.

I did not shriek out what did he mean by it? Did it mean something like murder or something as important like Genocide. It meant genocide. I saw that smile some place in school when the Jews got murdered. In school photographs of archived documents documenting heinous acts and this made me realise most important to pay heed.

And who was he speaking about? Who wanted to know this important thing? Who wanted to ask me a question who was this woman who wanted to know at any price at any cost? And what was the price she paid for it? What was the reason who was it? It took me years of long courtships of endless journeys endless dead end courtships which meant nothing at all but to make me into a slave what did it mean this meaningless jumbled asking for my hand in marriage then flying away? These endless smart things that did not add up?

The things which we must know find out the manners and the so called the things we must be told to find out their worth. The value of a woman who is not stupid but must know every little detail of what she will not understand. The things which make the weakness of someone who will not say a kind word do a good deed but wants all the time to find out things. Which will give her nothing back nothing at all.

It is of no value to her it will not even make her well. It will not even content her. She will think it strange. It will not even make her a nicer person. Not even a good field hand. It won’t bring her wealth or any enjoyment when she knows she will just walk off think what nonsense. Of course what a thing it does not make sense at all.

“Well on holidays they will have to come to us propose her being another wife and then tell me what happened at the proms.” Said auntie in her awful way she was obsessive about these things. This made me all the more determined not to tell her.

“Is it important?” I asked in that manner of way not thinking about all the trouble them be at to find such a thing out. When this and that did not occur to me to find out what to make of them. The strange people and them murderers me not like them at all.

“Actually machines add up better and they write the best novels and paint the best pictures. Look at the camera it never lies.”

Them being police and not protecting the weak or the innocent made them dishonest. I was not sharing the joke with these people. I did not approve of their way of life and did not want to make them feel better or anymore comfy then they were.

They were too comfortable as it was a strange thing is life when them too comfortable them need something to think about them people who are too much into comforts and making life not their employment and good will; but their enjoyments which needs to be stocked up. Like some fire and this fire I was not into stoking up them be too stocked up as it was.

“Look don’t make me angry.” Said auntie to her son.

“Them holidaying for thirty years still did not know what happened at that Proms maybe nothing happened at the proms nothing at all?” Ventured the son adding to her misery.

“I even went to daughter’s proms bought the lemonade as well.” He said in an indignant manner of so much anger. I could picture him there did not make me any the smarter the poor lad. I thought, luckily I am not mean nor unkind at all.

“Auntie said what?”

“She said machines make the best posters.”

“No I did not they make the best artists.”

“Look go and write your novel.”

“I am doing that.”

I Did, watchful more sedate sober now, in fact older. Sat down then nothing happened at the Proms! But daughter danced and made life laughing noises. Nothing happens at the Proms. So what did happen at that Prom, surely nothing happens at all but daughters laugh and make funny sounds which we deal with by marriage into football families with dancing bellies?” said the poor son who had been through schooling just to find out just to make sense of it all. He even had to sit exams to find the right way of mind to do this. Even he had to read them damnations books.

Said my cousin as he sat with us on a happy meal which he had bought with the clovers of the gold and then we ate the chicken and the rice. His meal his meals we had his meal. We had the meal all done in a flash. And then cousin took his dear wife to bed adding to the dogs smell. We went back to our hotels to seek comforts in the dotage of old age.

“Old maid.”

“Dear cousin.”

“Old maid.”

“Sweet cousin.”

“Old maid with long tooth.”

“I love you as much as you love me.”

“I can beat you at this.”

“Dear cousin: the wife is there wasting for the things which you have given her; mine the way the daughter wants more make- up. The son in law is not a happy man. The man the son in law looks harassed. Is there something wrong within the kingdom as he looks like a Sultan fagged out. Wasting time wanting to think who to shag? He has the belly dancer to fork out for. I hope you can pay it all in the gore of masculine idiocy.”

“It is the children I worry about supposing he don’t want anymore?” said the cousin’s daughter as she went to weep on a friend’s shoulder. I shudder to think how much she goes through how much she has to not to say what not to ask what not to tell the world when we are all hiding from being the selves we must be in order to be some vampires which will gobble suck the world dry.

GLC abolished then the Mayor sacked the man who is heading the labour party did it in the night schools. We had to go home. The staying power begins to make sense we did not have a household filled with madness?

“I think we got the wrong treatments.”

“But they will not admit this as it makes them look like crooks and sex pests,.”

“Injecting someone for twenty five years for being homeless and without a family.”

“Injecting someone else who does not pay their council tax,.”

“Criminal activity gone unpunished?”

“Yes it is very insane.”


“Like my friend Debbie who came from there to our school showed us all the ropes.”

But now we are all not well. It is too heavy a price too costly to cure diabetics but not too costly to treat it.

There is this option when someone can have extra six months in order to do emails sending messages from his cancer bed that he is dying rather than to cure someone who might live a healthier life with some operation.

Who but the rich can afford drugs which cost 90,000 a year go on have a heart who?

“If you are a gay girl we can offer treatment.”

“How does it mean?”

“Pounds shillings and pence and the rest can go and hang themselves.”

“Cats out of the bag you see.”

“The poor are getting poorer and there is an injustice at stake.”

“If there is a just cause of impediments then we can bury the Hachette.”

“Mary Mary quite contrary.”

So off we go into mental institutes? Of course this is what it meant otherwise axed out? We are not so inclined? Well who cared? We can go out.

Has been hit with some eggs.

“Got into an argument and hit a reporter?”

“He was swearing at the man”.

“He has been followed since two years he swore yet again.”

“His popularity has plummeted.”

“We did disband the night schools sent all the poor to better their mentality.”

Ken Livingstone said plain as plain they were stalking his every move. His wife did not feel it? No he was with this other woman. Scandalised there we were not even shocked then we found out John Major did it with his secretary we got not well so what? He no longer in the prime Minsters post so what the hell but Ken was. His new child born. We were so glad he got to be a father again but his wife disliked it the press got to him. Bad publicity he hurt all round.

“Wisdom was when night school would take care of lack of qualifications now we had a way of life.”

“Yes we lived behaved madly.”

“Freedom pass, free way out and the educated madness who wrote books. We did it this way. They fiddled us the right way. Yes then they fled. I mean most of them had sex and then drunk their minutes went off some place exotic and the BBC could never reach them? We are mad so we are not well.

“In that way we learnt how to do away with the morality of the situation.”

“Yes we got into creativity in a big way.”

“How to fill in the good forms and do not do it the right way?”

“No do it this way we can now get you more money.”

“Trust me you have the right diseases.”

“Quite incurable,”


“Yes in that way we can add your name to the council list ticks all the boxes.”

“Yes sure I will be visiting to see how the settee is sat.”

“Right John go Jane is coming.”


“I am liberated lesbian now go.”

“I am not leaving ?”

“Look if you do not we can’t go on the day trip to Brighton.”

“We won’t”?


“Okay I will go and find out if the television is repaired.”

“Do not over stay your mum will want you to wash up.”

“So it is like that?”

“Look she has a carer come in and if you do they will think you have made recovery.”

“Okay what I’m I able to do today?”

“Here is a list.”

“Oh right.”


“We have abolished that so everyone can get more confused.”

“Did they notice after their celebration party?”

“Of course you can.”

“Now we have the best volunteering mad people in the whole of the world.”

“No need for night school?”

“Waste of time.”

“We had the right statistics?”

“Of course.”

“We now read poetry like John Clare.”

“He stayed in the mental institutes twenty three years.”

“A good example of what poets do.”

“No Van Gogh a bad example.”

“Having sorted out the sorry situation now we can move on.”

“Mr Corsairs said mathematically speaking we are done for with the night scholars not making the right work loads.”

“They are going to have night scholars in America too.”

“Anyway most of the rehabs got sorted.”

“The others had no career moves they were sent after the educations to wrong institutes where they let out their fantasies which meant they can do to others what they desired. Someone did the children with silicon tape. Sol taped their mouth in that way artistic expressions got the school out.”

“What they said was children talked too much.”

“They got their teacher training qualifications did they?”

“My doctor said specifically she had been qualified.”

“Who qualified them?”

“You see they might not have told their tutors that their main ambition was this.”

“They lied do you think?”

“About their mental incapacity.”

“With the money we all get from that quarter no wonder.”

“The art work good but the thing was mad?”

“Due to the things not taking root we are now stuck with a situation should we ban madness from art?”

“We can but then we will be sorry.”

“Poor Byron was rich and mad.”

“That made him a unreadable poet.”

“But he had back up?”

“Well of course he did.”

“Mr Turner never mind him.”

“Otherwise we are okay.”

“So what is wrong without night schools?”

“The thinking is now all the poor are mad.”

“Instead of a chosen few?”

“That the night schools did it in for us?”

“Yes the night schools not sorry. They in it for money?”

“Yes that is the reason.”

“So having all the poor in the mental institutes ?”

“We are not sorry they are all mental?”

“Yes forgive me but what else can a man or woman with no money do?”

“Pray for something?”

“Not into church they want more money than ransome.”

“GLC now does not exist?”

“It does but in another form.”

“What is the form?”

“We can’t find it.”

The mental institutes desperate with people who had no money but had much leisure we went to the mental institutes to pass our times. To socialise and to make contacts which might make our life easier.

We met all the right groups did the best things. We now learn about other people staying stranded indoors. It made us strongly supportive of the GPs as they did our medical records and had our payments handy.

“No it is because they can’t find enough GP’s who are mad enough to take on the job.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well work is madness is it not?!”

“Most of us are gaping open mouthed how over worked they are.”

“Never mind about the rest who can’t go to the toilet and have to do it on their lorries as they are delivering the parcels.”

“That is discrimination that is.”

That made the GPs indestructible they can destroy whole neighbourhood we will not even speak.

Our incomes depend on that. Yes if we do speak we are cut off.

Without a penny?

“Not even a shilling with no council tax and the taxing question is where to go when it is over.”

We are now the most silent society of all time. We do not even say the wrong advice line if someone goes to the wrong phone we nod agreeable. Hear no evil seek no trouble the purse strings are in here.

Apron strings nothing to do with the money is it? Having been cut before

It is not easy not having the right amounts can seriously damage everything.

We are now unable to be anything but poor losers. I did not make connections to people who had the personality.

Our doctors report said so.

“Our families agree with it?”

“Yes you will be under medicated forever.”

“Best will in the world will not help overcome your illness?”

“Which are many.”

“One pill leads to another.”


“Then we go on the canteen and have it for the cake shop.”

“The happier we are the earlier we die.”

Instructions are we are rich and should be humoured. Yes ill humours the way forward.

“Dropped dead happily.”

“No standing room at the funeral.”

“No someone invited them all in.”

“Gave it as a mistake not to go.”

“So they have all flocked.”

The church was packed the husband had the choirs right then the reading of words. It gave it pathos and the others called in someone else is here. What for? Well we can’t say. If he had been on time he had been on time he had shaven dressed and had a bath so he had been groomed to look the part. But still someone at the door trying either to be buried or married. Which I do not know,

“No time for that piece. We went ahead anyway it was beautiful sang from the heart.”

“Benefits being cut would not do.”

“Someone asked if anyone did the lord’s prayer?”


“Pastors gone to lunch.”

“Sorry we have a funeral if there is no pastor then say someone else to say the words.”

“The trainee pastor has come in his place.”

“Look why is he wobbling?”

“We will hang him?”

“No we will now be serious.”

“Now sing the right hymns or there is trouble,”

“Sing the way it should be sang or else?”

“Sorry what is going on?”

“We got the joke smith prepare this ugly funeral.”

“We lost the vicar the church is a shambles and the body has just arrived.”

“With the ex husband.”

“He is now shaking like a leaf and does not even have the strength to believe he has got rid of the body which had been in the mortuary for six months due to hardships.”

“He could not understand what document went where.”

“Due to his filing mistakes the body took too long to receive a burial.”

“Having made the burial right we now leave for the cafe to have a smack up meal.”

“The good man has now taken a turn for the worse.”

“Having got the message we just have a coffee and dream of something?”

“I think a few did eat?”

“Yes but the cafe owner so surprised did not mean it.”

“Left from yesterday and it did taste so.”

“Having got a lift back we felt better.”

He begins this new life he a pianist not celebrity everyone feels his talents. What matters they like music.

“Having buried his wife he went to someone better Kate got it badly.”

“Sex addict?”

“I think she took all he had.”

“Including his piano?”

“What for?”

I thought the church can’t have been licensed. Another thing was coming along and we flew. We just got everything done on time. If everything had not been they would not do it. Look the lady who spoke was supposed to be in charge of the whole thing did she seem bothered?

How easy it is?

“Oh yes.”

“It will not affect you at all?”

“No cheri you are rich so this will never happen to bitches like yourself.”

“To make a weak minded like him think of his former wife in such a way makes you all good to seek out when anyone in trouble.”

“We will grieve when you do the same and die.”

“We will make your funeral a spectacle too.”

“I think she saw what meant and did not stay to hear anymore.”

As we had no one but each other in the house and we did not get on each others nerves. We went out and about trying to figure out what went on and the night schools shut down shut down shut down.

“We are missing Thatcher as she too would have made a grand prime Minster to cry over her passing is to miss this boat which is sinking.”

“Look women running things will make it better.”

“We have the NHS for that.”

“We have been over run by women for a number of years now we hardly eat at all.”

“Look they are not bad.”

“It is not politically correct but think who is in charge of us now?”

“Another thing whenever there is a new American President the queen has to approve them.”

“Jackie was one and so was the Obama’s the Clintons too?”

“Of course they went to the same University with the heirs to our kingdom.”

“Kingdom of heaven?”

“No United Kingdom.”

“Who was Jackie?”

“Jackie was the Kennedy.”

“She covered the news for the queens wedding did Jackie it was on the gossip magazine section when they briefly mentioned our Jackie the future of the world a reporter.”

“Well everyone has to start somewhere.”

“Well covering the world’s most important weddings is not somewhere.”

“What she wanted her own wedding photos too so she got married.”

“Well yes.”

“So how come she does not mention with a word what really happened to them Kennedy’s?”

“She is wise.”

“A wise?”

“Yes wiser than some.”

“Look I did not mean to upset anyone at all. All I wanted was somewhere to live without harassment or beatings and to move on in life.”

“Well did you not?”

“I never did.”

“You deceived?”

“So do most battered women.”

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