Before his life faded away he heard Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”. The lyrics were equal to his life. Before having the last breath, that reminded thet good and not so good memories. The song reminded him the faith, hope, success, but also everything that broke him, pain, betrayals, failures. Everything he did from the bottom of his heart, the way he imagined it and by falling and getting up on his own way.
And now from the beginning, Mr D. was born in usual city and he wasn’t special: neither his appearance, neither mental abilities were extraordinary. We can say that he was a regular man. But from his early days he was always lost between his dreams, beliefs and sometimes cannot understand if this was a reality or a dream. He believed that as in the imaginary world, in the real life he can achieve everything that he wants to and usually he was referring to himself as a prince, which was lost in the nursery. Of course nobody was believing his stories and called them childish.
By growing up and getting more mature, his “delirium” (as most of the people called it) didn’t stop. Mr D. was still believing that he is the one that can change a world one day and to become recognized. The only problem was that he didn’t the way he’ll change things and what they are going to be. However, in the deepest corner of his heart, he always felt the spark, which allowed him to struggle and to think all this actions through. Over time he become cautions: he tried to create the image reserved, but honorable person, he never said bad things about other and never gossiped. He tried to look elegant and reliable, participated in the activities that looked beneficial, and got to know important people that way.
The thing that Mr D. hated was two-faced people - that for strange reason wanted to be friends with him (maybe due to his inner strength and his burning eyes), but they weren’t honest with him and tried to get personal benefit. They were like energetic vampires sucking his energy. Once he got to know this kind of people better, Mr D. tried to avoid them and was only politely having a small talk with them, or said several sentences that could not get him into trouble. However, the injustice was number one thing that Mr D. hated the most, he did everything with his conscious clean. So if he encountered the lying and betrayal, he could never cope with them and tried to publicize the unfair work or give them justice. It is obvious that it made some people hate him and in general there weren’t a lot of people that like him. Some were even criticizing him publicly, probably they were afraid that their dirrty sheet will be seen by all.
Since his school years Mr D. wasn’t the best student, but he was trying his best to manage his personal life and studies as much as he could, and he tried to take the best parts from each part of his life. Maybe no one is getting surprised that sometimes he was distracted, angry or impatient due to many activities. He was very impatient, he wanted everything at this moment. He believed that even in his teenage days he can achieve a lot. Sometimes he dreamt that he is going to invent a magical tool that will allow the time travelling, or that he will find a cure from cancer or AIDS. Also he was hoping that he can change people mind with his convincing speeches and his eyes on fire as did Maria Theresa and Mahatma Ghandi. From the eye of another people it looked very weird, as Mr D. didn’t do anything better than other ordinary people.
Day after day the desire of Mr D. got framed. At first he was angry, impatient, tried to rebel, but eventually he understood that he won’t achieve his goals by his own knowledge. Since then he became interested in various topics: from history to contemporary music, from electronics to fashion, from psychology to astrology. Other people were surprised, they were thinking that he is pretending to know about so many various topics. Although Mr D. never tried to become the expert of all areas. He was just strongly sure that all his knowledge will help him sooner or later. Once he will reach his goal. Once he will know what his goal is.
This strange man, as others called him often, didn’t have a lot of friends. In general there were bunch of people that know him at some point of his life, but there weren’t a lot that would stay. He could not share his heart with more than three people at once, because each person that was welcome to his world, he felt the most sincere and strong feelings. Also he had a strong desire to help another person, to help to reveal the best qualities of that person, to increase his or her self-confidence. Some people said that Mr D. would be a great life coach. However, Mr D. didn’t think so. To help close people was more his hobby than his goal.
Maybe before he would take as his goal, but as Mr D. encountered betrayal, gossiping, hatred, he understood that giving away his self to the others is not the best think he can do and he started to concentrate into himself instead. At first he was scared of himself, as he wasn’t aware what he’ll found in the corners of his soul. His emotions were like a rollercoaster, it was from apathy to anxiety, from happiness to anger. Once after he was betrayed again, he was even thinking that he is psychologically unstable, maybe he is having a bipolar or schizophrenia. He even did several tests that he found in a newspaper and as he believed that he is sick, the test results showed that yes, probably he is have a psychological disorder. Then he was so scared that he run to the psychologist and found out that everything is fine with him and he just have to calm down and to live in the moment.
Living in the moment seemed an unfamiliar concept to the Mr D., as he always believed in his future, he believed that one day he’ll change the world. Step by step he tried to relax and stop paying attention to small details. However, he didn’t notice one thing - his eyes weren’t on fire as before, and his optimism was hidden under the veil of reality. He started to think less about his dream and to concentrate more on his daily tasks. After a while he noticed that he is no longer as happy as he was before. Also he didn’t have where to get his inner energy, he started to speak as other - sadly, without passion for life. This was eating him out, he didn’t feel himself and Mr D. started to get angry on the whole World, The World that he loved so much before was now strange to him. He wanted to give something to The World, but now he only saw only the blame. So it’s not a surprise that he wanted to run away from everything. To pack his small luggage, his notes and leave without saying to anybody. To disappear one night. He even started to think about committing suicide, but although his love for life was less visible, the curiosity what his goal is was still there.
On December 20th, only few days before Christmas, Mr D. packed notes, several shirts and pants, took his all money and without saying to anyone left his home, work and three friends - everything that wasn’t giving him joy. We knew one thing - he needs to go to Brazil. Somehow he was fascinated with this country, he didn’t need the skyscrapers of Hong Kong, the Paris Eiffel tower, Central Park of New York or any other place in the world. He needed Brazilian forests, Copacabana beach, smiles from the strangers, the moonlight that sanked into the Atlantic Ocean. Mr D. wasn’t scared about the criminals, murders, drugs or favelas.
It wasn’t that easy to go to Brazil, he needed enough savings to get to Brazil, and Mr D. didn’t have enough of them. Maybe he could have enough money for the ticket, but he could live there a week or two mostly without a job. It was scaring Mr D. he was rational at the time and liked to live comfortably, to eat healthy and tasty. But then he convinced himself that he has to try. He took all his money from bank and bought a one way ticket the next day. He felt that something is waiting him in Brazil, despite that he didn’t know any people there. He had same feeling since his childhood. The dreams about Brazil and the ticket he bought light his eyes back to the way as it was before: he was lost and could not say if this was a reality or a dream.
A night before the trip he could not sleep, and started to hesitate if this was the best decision. Maybe he won’t even like it there. He is so safe here at home, and now he is going to leave everything. Once the morning came, Mr D. woke up earlier than he needed and packed fast, checked if he had everything he needed and run to the bus that took him to the airport. He was shaking from the fear and happiness when he saw the airport terminal. Now only standard safety procedures were separating him from the dream. He wanted it to go faster, that he could feel the sand of Brazil today. The sand that would tickle his feet and would burn his toes a little.
It’s a summer in Brazil now, contrary to Mr. D home where he had winter and cold that he hated a lot. This was also a thing that was making Mr. D impatient. He felt uncomfortable during winter, it was like a wet blanket that wrapped his body and kept it until spring would come and grass would show up. By the way, Mr D. loved the smell of freshly cut grass, it reminded him his childhood when he was carefree and he had lots of dreams mixed up with reality.
After all security procedures and thousands of scenarios rolled in his mind about the future in Brazil, Mr D. was sitting in the plane. He had a great place next to the window and could see the departure. Mr D. loved to fly, he used every opportunity to travel and he was as happy as a child once the plane departed and landed. He saw himself as a person that would have a lifestyle with lots of travelling and saw himself with white costume in the plane in his dreams. The plane departed and Mr D.’s dreams departed as well, it seemed that all his desires were right there.
As he could not sleep before the flight, Mr D. fall asleep once the plane departed. He saw his dream beach once he closed his eyes. Then the view of Amazon forests, wildlife, favelas and despite the poverty happy people occurred in his mind. He could hear Bossa Nova and a girl that would sing it tenderly, her voice was like a breeze that was touching her face carefully.
Mr D. woke up from a huge turbulence, he openeded his tired eyes, and saw that people around him were scared. Few moments later he started to hear someone screaming. He understood that something is wrong, but he didn’t want to bother the stewardess that was in the rush and tried to calm down the crying kids. He asked a woman that was sitting next to him, she wasn’t sure, but assumed that something is wrong with the plane equipment. Nobody knows exactly what is happening and the crew isn’t providing too much details. Strange, but Mr D. felt completely calm, even apathetic. He didn’t felt any stress, fear or other negative feeling. He just felt emptiness inside, it seemed that all his feelings fade away and he became a robot, that would have a program for daily tasks installed only.
As the level of panic was getting higher, the calmer Mr D. felt. Then out of the sudden he felt a need to get out of his chair. Then he started to speak silently, at first nobody was listening to him, as he wasn’t the best speaker. But as minutes went by, he started to say these words louder and louder:
“And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.
I’ve lived a life that’s full.
I’ve traveled each and ev’ry highway;
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exception.
I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
“No, oh no not me,
I did it my way”.
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!”
They were the words that he heard someday while listening to Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”. Mr. D. repeated them non-stop, louder and louder, the verse after verse. People started to pay attention to Mr D., the screaming of women and men stopped, even the kids were listening. All plane was in silence and everyone was listening to Mr D.’s words and they felt calmer, they accepted the inevitable that they won’t survive. They told nice words to each other and got to know to each other, told their names, hugged and met their destiny together. Including Mr. D that executed his mission and his ultimate goal, that he was believing all his life. The goal that he sacrificed his life for without knowing what he is going to expect.
The plane dived into the Atlantic Ocean. Together with hundreds of various dreams of various people, including Mr. D’s desire to see Brazil that wasn’t fulfilled. But his life goal - to do something good for the world - was completed…
Meantime on the other side of the world a girl was born...
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