Chapter Twenty Three
“Where were you?” Her voice whispers sleepily but she doesn’t open her eyes.
“Sorry darlin’ I went to get some water.” I tell her softly kissing her shoulder. I let my arms wrap tightly around her as her breathing evens out again. I feel her heart beat against my chest, take a deep breath and I close my eyes.
I wake with a start to someone pinning me in place. I’m in complete darkness and I react instantly. I grab the arms of my assailant hard ready to throw them off me. The arms feel soft. “Link.” Her desperate voice pleads. She sounds like she’s in pain. My eyes blink trying to adjust as my senses come alive. I see her worried face staring down out me, lit up by the moonlight filtering into the dark room. She says my name again and I completely snap out of it. I realize my hands are grabbing her arms in a death tight grip and I drop them like I was holding a live wire.
“Jesus Lexi, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” I plead. Her eyes lock onto mine from her sitting position astride my hips.
“Shh.” She whispers as she lowers her body down to the front of mine. My head falls back and I focus on the ceiling as remorse takes me. Rowan was right, I woke from a nightmare and tried to hurt her. Guilt and remorse are now so thick in my throat that I’m afraid I might choke on them. “Shh.” She whispers against my chest. “Just hold on to me.” Her words aren’t angry from my attack on her.
If anything they seem to be words of love and comfort. How can she talk to me like that after the way I just handled her? I turn my head away disgusted with myself. Then I feel her hands take mine and bring them around her warm soft skin. My heart seizes in my chest. I hold on to her tightly needing to feel her warmth, I bury my head in her neck.
“It’s okay.” She coos. I shake my head in the side of her neck.
“No. It’s not. I’ll go and sleep in another room.” I tell her my voice dripping in its remorse and guilt. She leans back to look in my eyes.
“Why would you want to do something like that?” She soothes with a sweet smile. I let out a breath of disbelief at her kindness. I look in her eyes letting my remorse shine through.
“Lexi, I just hurt you because I was reacting to a nightmare. I can’t risk that happening ever again.” I spit ruefully. She sighs and shakes her head at me.
“I’m not afraid of nightmares Link.” She tell me certainly. Her hand gently caresses my face and I close my eyes at the touch. “We just have to replace your nightmares with sweet dreams.” She says like it’s such an easy task. I shake my head.
“I don’t want to risk hurting you again.” I plead desperately. Her eyes soften.
“The only thing you could do to hurt me right now is to leave me alone in this bed.” My heart breaks at her words as she moves to the bed beside me. I roll over to look into her eyes. She’s begging me to stay with her eyes. My sweet goddess, so beautiful and brave. She smiles a sweet smile at me wearing down my resolve.
“You have to promise me that if I scare you, you’ll get away from me.” I whisper urgently. She nods compliantly. “Because I don’t have the will power to leave you.” I add hoping she understands my meaning. She smiles again as a tear falls from her eye. She leans her lips in and I kiss her with a tenderness that she deserves to always be touched with. She turns away from me to allow for me to spoon her again. Her body fits against mine perfectly like I’m the cocoon for this butterfly lying in my arms.
My body seems to be designed to fit my desire to hold her and protect her from the darkness in this world. I close my eyes again and match her breathing against my chest. I awake to a shooting pain in my left arm. The pain makes my senses acute as I breathe in the sweet smell of peaches from the hair against my chest. My arm has pins and needles, that combined with the wrenched shoulder muscle from the same arm is definitely biting.
I inhale quietly not to disturb the goddess whose head is resting against the pain ridden arm. The early morning sunlight is painting her skin with a warm glow and her peace is so beautiful that I can’t bear to wake her up. She’s so gorgeous, and she’s content and safe in my arms while she sleeps. My mind is barely registering the pain in my arm compared to the sheer pleasure of the other arm wrapped tightly around her. I lay here watching her breathe and today seems like a new day.
We both faced our nightmares together last night and survived to find the bright sun of today. I feel lighter than I have felt in years, like my nightmares can’t touch me when I have her in my arms. The dream of her is more powerful than any nightmarish memory. I can’t contain myself anymore and I lean forward and let my lips trail a line of kisses along the back of her shoulder.
I feel her chest rise as she takes a deep breath. She laughs a soft laugh as I continue my assault. She rolls over and her eyes nearly blind me, they’re so bright. Her smile is breathtaking. She wraps her hand around the back of my neck and pulls me to her. I let my lips fall onto hers in a kiss. Her tongue traces my lips and she smiles and starts laughing.
“Did you eat chocolate in the middle of the night?” She asks still laughing and I smile as I remember sharing the ice cream with Damien. I laugh quietly as I nod. I roll over to face the ceiling as I bask in the morning light and the sound of her laughter. She lifts her head from my arm and I wince as the blood flow rushes back into it.
“What’s wrong?” She asks concerned and I shake my head as I pull the sore arm across my chest. I rub my hand along it trying to get the numbness to fade. She eyes me suspiciously. “Tell me.” Her demand is urgent. I look at her reassuringly.
“I’m just a little tight, I think I wrenched my shoulder yesterday diving for my lunch.” I tell her with a smile. She smiles seemingly reassured. Then her smile turns to one of seductive wickedness. She rolls off the bed and walks over to the bedroom door. She laughs stopping suddenly then changes direction. She reaches a chest of drawers and opens one and pulls out a t-shirt of mine and slips it over her bra and panties.
I chuckle at the thought of her running around my parent’s house in nothing but her underwear. She shoots me a quick wink before slipping out of the door. I stare at the door confused. After a few moments I hear voices and laughter in the hallway, I contemplate getting up to investigate but the need is squashed as Lexi slips back into the room. She strolls towards the bed with her hands behind her back.
Her shy smile is plastered to her face as she bites into her bottom lip.
“I need you to do exactly what I say.” She says coyly and I crook a challenging eyebrow at her. I give her one quick nod wondering what game she’s playing. “I need you to roll over so you’re face down on the bed.” She instructs seriously. I look at her curiously, but I don’t move. She rolls her eyes as she pushes down one the mattress then sighs. “Actually scratch that. I need you to lie on the floor face down.” She tells me. I decide to go along with whatever she’s doing. Yes I may be in a vulnerable position but I doubt she plans to take advantage of that. I flip off the bed and land suspended on the floor at her feet. I hold the position as if I’m about to do push-ups.
My shoulder protests at the pain and I lower myself carefully to the floor surface with a grimace on my face. I turn my head to the side so I can see her stand over me. Lexi drops to her knees beside me and she places her hands gently on my arm. “I need you to relax completely and not fight me.” She instructs. Now my wonder at her game is turning to fear, what is she doing? I won’t put her in a position where I might hurt her.
She bursts into a light laughter when she sees the look on my face. “That is not relaxing.” She scolds me playfully. “While I was trying to figure out what to do with my life I studied remedial massage. I’m a fully qualified and trained masseuse soldier, and you will do as you’re told.” She informs me directly. I smile a bright smile at her as she lays my arms along either side of my body.
I feel her fingers at my lower back as she rolls the top of my sweats over again and again until they’re settled just at the top of the crack of my ass. Then she straddles the lowest part of my back with a perfect pressure to align my back as she pushes mine into the floor with her hips. I hear the liquid being squeezed into her hands and I see her put the bottle of baby oil on the floor next to us.
Her hands slide onto my back and I close my eyes at her touch. Her hands press and knead with strength enough to make me feel every single touch. Her hands start out gently as she shuffles herself to massage way down low on my back. I smile as her hands slip to the top of my ass.
“Ah miss, not that I don’t appreciate the attention.” I call out with a smirk on my face. “But it’s really my shoulder that’s troubling me and that’s up here.” I inform her sarcastically as I tip my head towards my shoulder. Her pressure gets harder and I laugh.
“Your muscles are all connected, your shoulder may be sore but I can tell you that the rest of your muscles are in desperate need of tension release as well. So if you don’t mind.” She tells me with a hint of annoyance. I remain silent as she works up my back. Her hands are expertly precise finding every tense muscle I wasn’t even aware of before she worked it out.
I can’t believe the strength and pressure being delivered from her hands. She uses her elbow in the deeper muscles and I groan in pleasure. Every touch is perfect bliss from the deep knot breaking pressure to the sensual gliding of her fingers between the muscles searching for points of need. When she reaches my shoulder I grit my teeth, the pain is there but the pleasure of it being worked is intoxicating.
My groans are coming hard and fast as my breathing tries to regulate. Her hands are gently stroking every crevice of muscle in the shoulder and the back of it. The warm sensation of pain is now just warm from her touch. The feel of her body on my skin as she brings it alive at every touch. Her hands don’t let up as she continues to work the muscles around the shoulder. Lexi works on a more gentle touch as she checks my back to locate any more spots of tension.
“You are a goddess.” I exhale in prayer as she lets her hands roam over my back. I hear her laugh. Her hands are trying to cool down the muscles from her previous pressure. This is sensual, all tension is gone from my body. “Why don’t you do this for a living?” I ask through my muffled lips on the floor. I’m impressed at my capacity for coherent thoughts. Her laughter makes me think my words may not have come out that coherent after all.
She leans herself against my back continuing to let her hips press mine into the ground.
“I do sometimes, I only really learned to do this to help ease permanent tension in my own body.” She says trailing off and I want to kick myself. “For a long time I couldn’t stand human contact, couldn’t stand anyone touching me. I decided I wouldn’t be controlled by fear so I studied to be a masseuse.” She explains as her hands continue their sensual pattern over my back and shoulders.
“I liked this because I could control the touch, it empowered me. Slowly I became more comfortable until I was normal again.” Lexi explains and her words make perfect sense. “I began to allow men to touch me again. Don’t get me wrong, I still froze when I felt too much of it was out of my control but I’ve worked through it.” I turn my head to look at her, I roll the rest of my body over so my back is now on the floor and I’m looking up at her. She’s smiling at me as she still sits astride.
Her hands start to weave themselves over my chest muscles. “I don’t want you to think I don’t want you to touch me.” She confesses shyly and I smile at her. “I haven’t been hiding in a dark room since those monsters did what they did. I fought back, I took control of my life. I’ve had relationships.” She pauses. “Granted they weren’t very successful but they happened.” She confesses as a blush stains her cheeks. I don’t want to hear this. My face must clearly express my feeling about this conversation.
“I’m only trying to let you know that you don’t have to treat me like I’m made of glass.” She informs me and I look at her curiously. “I’m made of flesh and driven by desires as well.” Her eyes blaze with that desire and I study her quietly. She leans down close to my lips as her hips rock against my groin causing an instant reaction. “I want you Link, completely and entirely with every part of my being.” She confesses in an urgent whisper. I groan from a deep reservoir of desire as it bubble under my skin. God help me.