“I just can’t breathe here anymore Julian!” I started rubbing my temples furiously as my frustration with the situation grew. The situation being my boyfriend, oh so constantly stoned boyfriend might I add! Who was just not getting the whole damn break up thing.
“Baby, I’ll change! I won’t smoke weed anymore, I will get a job! A good fucking job! Just please don’t go!” He looked at me with those blue eyes and surfer blonde hair I fell in love with when I was just 17 years old.
Julian Lewis was my very first love, at just 17 we fell in love – it was mostly I that did the falling. He was the salt to my pepper at one stage until we made the move from Johannesburg to Cape Town. I left my family, friends and a job offer to be with Julian after almost two years being together. As soon as I matriculated, Julian asked me to move down with him to Cape Town and we were happy, really we were.
I managed to get myself a decent job within a reputable financial company where I have taken it upon myself to actually study and get myself a degree, albeit it’s a complete opposite of what I currently do, but it was a passion of mine since the get go.
There was nothing better than walking up on stage at your graduation ceremony, accepting your degree and seeing the chair that you had reserved for your significant other, empty!
I must say it was heart breaking but with Julian he was just not reliable. I’m 23 years old now and yes we’re young but living on your own, heck you have responsibility and I’m sorry when it’s two people, it’s two people. I just can’t do this anymore.
“Julian, we’ve done this so many times before, please stop this. I’m tired.” I really was, my heart had had enough.
For the first time in a very long time, I saw something flash in Julian’s eyes that I had only ever seen reflected at another guy, a few years ago.
Something I didn’t particularly like as it was now directed at me.