Still Alive

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Chapter 10

Alexandra

Thursday rolled around. We were all still stuck at home, due to the nasty weather. If the snow didn't clear up by tomorrow, there was no way I'd be going on my date. Over the passed two days, I convinced myself that it was going to be epic. I was actually looking forward to the event. Ashton swung by yesterday to hang out: claiming he was bored. Not that I minded.

I just got out of the shower. I jumped into bed and started up my computer to watch the many Disney movies I had. Alone, of course. Theo traveled with his family to Ohio. Melanie went with Brian to her doctors appointment. Ashton, well, I had no idea what he was up to. I haven't heard a single word from him today, which upset me greatly.

I just hoped I wouldn't be interrupted while I went through my marathon. I absolutely hated being disturbed. I munched on my popcorn; watching as Aladdin flew around on his purple magic carpet. I kind of wanted one. A knock came from the balcony doors. I snarled, pausing the movie.

I trudged over to the doors: aggressively swinging them open. Ashton better be dying, because if he's not, he sure will be now. This better be important. Or so help me God! Ashton jumped back in horror. His eyes scanning my face.

"What the hell happened to you?" Ashton pouted.

"You best be on your death bed. You are ruining a very important occasion." I snarled. Ashton's eyes roamed to my body taking in my attire.

"What could be so important?" He rolled my eyes. What could be so important? WHAT COULD BE SO IMPORTANT?! This boy had some nerve.

"I'm watching Disney movies!" I stomped angrily.

"Wow, okay. Super important." He snorted. "Do you have any scissors?"

"Are you serious?! You couldn't have gone down stairs?" I poked his chest. Ashton brought his hand up to rub his chest. He has got to be kidding me. He was dying: and I was sure of it. As a matter of fact, I was probably the one who murdered him. For a very well built male, he was really lazy.

"How can you be so sure I have some in my room?" I crossed my arms over my chest. A smug smirk crossing my features. Ashton crossed his arms over his chest causing his muscles to stretch the grey shirt.

"I know that they're on your desk, in the pencil holder. Every time I go over, they're in the same spot. Same position." Ashton rose his eye brows. The smirk I previously sported dropped. He must have photographic memory, because I have no idea how he could remember such a small detail. Ashton would always remain a mystery to me.

I walked over to my desk and pulled the scissors from the pencil holder. I handed them over begrudgingly. A bright smile spread across his lips. I rolled my eyes at him. He was such a happy person, it made me sick.

"Thank you!" Ashton waved. I watched as he turned to enter his room, but stopped and turned to me. "Oh, speaking of positions, let's try some." His smirk was seductive and sly.

"Get a life." My cheeks were set a flame. Heart beating rapidly. Ashton laughed and closed his doors. I shut my own making sure to pull the curtains shut. I didn't want him to see me so vulnerable. My phone buzzed on my night stand. I groaned dragging myself to the device.

"Hello." I answered. I hadn't even bothered to see who was calling. At this point, it didn't matter. Ashton had already interrupted my movie.

"You know, you're the only girl to ever turn me down as much as you do. Red, that hurts my ego." Ashton spoke into the speaker. My heart only hammered against my chest.

"Good." I played it cool, hanging up right after. Finally, peace and quiet. I can continue with what I had planned. Some thing I actually looked forward to doing for once. Besides going on the date. With my next door neighbor. My crush.

My wind started racing at the thought. Could I really call Ashton my crush? Was he really someone I was interested in? Honestly, yeah. I did like him: a lot, actually. More than just a person. More than a friend. I had never planned these darn feelings. THIS HAD NOT BEEN APART OF MY PLAN! He was supposed to be a friend. Just a friend.

Oh, god. I like Ashton Carter. Of all people, why did it have to be him? Cocky bastard.




I had finally finished every Disney movie ever. My heavy eyes turned to my phone. The white number read 00:00. People always asked why my phone was set to military time, and my answer was always the same: because I can. The excitement of staying up passed nine settles in. I smiled texting Melanie: asking if she was asleep. I got a quick response saying she couldn't sleep.

I quickly pressed her contact, dialing her number. The news I so desperately wanted to tell her was begging to roll off of my lips.

"Hey." Mel was quiet with her answer. Voice barely above a whisper.

"Hi baby girl." I piped in. Her chuckle vibrated through the speaker.

"What's up?" She sighed. I smile thinking about Ashton. My lip tucked in between my teeth.

"Nothing much. I just finished watching every Disney movie ever. What about you?" I was proud of my accomplishment. Or so I called it.

"Only you. I was just scrolling through Amazon looking for cute baby clothes." She gave a heavy sigh. I heard shuffling and then everything was quiet.

"Aw, okay." I smiled. "I actually called to tell you something."

I sat up nervously. If I told her my feelings, they would be real. They would never go away, and I wasn't sure I was ready for them. They were such intense feelings I was too scared to confess them to any one.

"Mmm.. gossip. Mama loves gossip. Spill." Her smirk leaked through speakers. She was such a cocky person. I lived with four of them, and I have no confidence what's-so-ever. My self-esteem was as low as my grade in my Korean class: and I had an 'F' in that class. It was actually a very difficult class. We learned every letter and every pronunciation.

"I think I might be falling for Ashton." Well, there it was. My feelings were now written in stone. I was upset. I didn't want to like any one. I've seen and felt too much heartbreak. I don't know if my walls would ever come down. Having feelings for someone was not on my list. It was not something I could allow myself to do. This would ruin me.

"OH MY GOD!" Her voice was deafening. I pulled my phone away from my ear wincing at the increase in volume. I chuckled, placing the phone back onto my ear. Oh, how I loved my best friend. Cue the eye roll.

"Can you keep it down? I'm sure the whole world heard you." I scowled. I was ignored as she squealed into the phone.

"Alex, I'm not that loud, but anyways, how? Since when?" Melanie was easily over excited. No matter the occasion. She is one of the most hyper people I have ever met. If you would consider excitement hyper.

"I don't know. I just figured out my feelings yesterday." That wasn't a total lie. I grew attached way to easily. It was a curse. Feelings were my biggest struggle. One reason I only had two best friends. Besides, Melanie, Theo, and my brother were all I needed. Oh, well, and now Ashton.

"AW! I'm so happy for you. Jesus fucking A. Finally. I thought you'd never ever like any one again. I was rally starting to think you'd become one of those cat ladies." She snorted.


"Thanks for believing in me." I sarcastically remarked.

"That's what I'm here for." She easily replied. I could just imagine her winking at me. It was funny how I knew them better than I knew the back of my hand. The tone in her voice gave it all away.

"Well, I'm gonna go to bed. If I stay awake any longer my eye balls will roll out of my face." I muttered. Her laugh boomed into the speaker.

"Haha! Goodnight my lovely. Dream about Ashton and tell me all about it. OH, and don't forget to call me after your date." Of course I had to. She'd never let me live it down if I didn't call her right after.

I had almost forgot about it. The anxiety was spilling through my pores. There was no way I was getting any sleep now. All thanks to the sudden reminder. My ship was sinking. This was a code black! And I needed back up. ASAP. I bid my goodnight and hung up. I set my phone on the charger. I closed my eyes with a tired sigh.

I really hoped tomorrow went amazing. This all depended on me, as if that wasn't enough pressure. Lord have mercy. Amen.

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