Still Alive

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Chapter 15


The only thing I could think about for the last three days was the marking part of the bond. I wanted to, because I would become one with him. Our souls would bind, and the bond would get stronger. Then again, I would have to sleep with him. Was I ready for that? I mean, yes and absolutely not. I was super excited about the idea, and I was terrified of it. I'd become like Melanie. We'd have kids, or pups, as he called them. I had no idea what I wanted.

I was going to have to talk to Ashton about all of this. maybe he'd be supportive in whatever I wanted to do. I mean, would he be supportive? He was my mate. I had been overthinking. That was my talent. Overthinking until I was buried six feet in the ground. I was always buried under my thoughts. I hated my insecurities.

"Alex!" Ashton yelled from his balcony. I stood from my desk chair with a sigh. My feet padded against the wooden floor boards. I opened the double doors. Ashton was sitting on his desk chair.

"What?" I scowled at him. He smiled, standing from the chair. What was wrong with him? He was always so smiley. It almost creeped me out.

"Can you help me with this problem?" Really? He was super good at math, and he was asking me for help?Regardless, I climbed the railings and made my way over to his desk.

"Where is it?" I huffed. His eyes scanned my features. I rose an eye brow at him.

"I didn't really need help. I just really missed you." He shrugged. Unable to contain the smile, I rolled my eyes. He was an idiot, but I liked him anyways.

"Ashton," I connected eyes with him. "I have homework of my own."

"It's okay. Just a couple of minutes." Ashton sat down in his chair. He pulled me down on to his lap. My legs were wrapped around him, our chests pressed together. My head rested on his shoulder. The heat radiating off of him made me a little sleep. His hands arms wrapped around my waist, protectively. I couldn't suppress my smile.

The insecurities sunk in. Maybe I was too heavy for him. I tried to reason with myself, but the devil in me wasn't having it. There was no way to calm my anxiety. I could feel his lips press to my forehead, yet that didn't reduce my insecurities. I lifted my head.

"Can I get back to my work now?" I pouted. Ashton grunted in distaste. I couldn't stay away from him. It was the most difficult task ever. His eyes glazed over. I had seen this only a few times before. I figured he was communicating with the pack.

"Fuck." He snapped back into our little world. I brushed my hand over his cheek. He leant into my touch for a brief second, and then stood, setting me to the side. My heart crumbled at the absence of his touch.

"Stay here. Rogues have attacked the west border patrols. You are a lot safer here than in your own home." Ashton changed into a pair of basketball shorts. My lip instinctively tucked in between my teeth.

Rogues. The same ones from the other day? What did they want? What were they after? How did they manage to attack Ashton's guards? They were the biggest and most intimidating guards I had ever seen. There was no way that the rogues could've single-handedly wipe out the west patrol. Not that I knew what direction west was, but I knew that this was a serious issue.

Ashton took off, leaving me alone. Why was I safer here than in my own home? How was it safer? I needed answers to all of these questions. My head was spinning. I lay on his bed shutting my eyes. The five minutes of rest had turned into a nap.

I sat at my desk blasting music from the iHome. I flipped through the pages of homework: scribbling my answers down and moving on to the next question. A loud bang sounded from next door. My eye brows furrowed. Those couldn't have been fireworks. No one was stupid enough to light them inside. At least, Ashton wasn't.

My feet carried me down stairs and out to Ashton's front door. My knuckles connected to the blood red door. No answer. I knocked again and again, but no one came to answer the door. Twisting the knob, I found the door unlocked. Were they home?

"Ashton?!" My voice was shaky. The silence was deafening. As I passed the living room, blood was smeared every where. I rushed up the stairs, slipping on the blood that pooled in the hall way. An older lady lay in an awkward position further down the hall. A younger version of her slouched against the wall, eyes wide open.

A sob tumbled from my lips. I rushed into Ashton's room. The scene in front of my had me on my knees. Ashton hung from his intestines. A scream echoed in the room. My screams. The tears tumbled down my cheeks. I rushed over to him, pulling him down. His weight came crashing down. We fell, his dead body laying over me.

My heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest. The room grew cold. I pushed him off of me and cradled his head to my chest. This wasn't happening. Ashton couldn't be dead. I looked around the room. Words were painted on the wall, over his bed. They had been painted in blood.

Look at what you did.

The person was twisted: to be writing in his, or her, victims blood. It had to have been more than one person. There was no way a single person could've easily gotten Ashton hanging the way he was.

My body was trembling from the heart ache and sobs.

The sweat had my clothe sticking to my body like a new layer of skin. My hair was plastered to my face. The room was dark, just like the night sky. Ashton was no where in sight. I jumped out of his bed. My heart was racing as I jogged down the stairs. Multiple people sat in the living room. Ashton stood by the fireplace. Their attention turned to me as I stumbled down the last three steps.

I had never felt such relief in my life. The men stood, bowing in my presence. I slowly walked over to Ashton. My hand reached out to touch him. When our skin connected, sparks ignited in my hand. Tears rushed down my cheeks as I threw myself into his arms. I had taken him by surprise. His reaction was slow, and hesitant. Finally, his arms wrapped around my waist. My sobs filled the space around us.

"Hey, its okay." Ashton rubbed my back. I shook my head.

I was just happy that my nightmare was not a reality. Ashton was here, alive. He was safe, and I couldn't have been happier. He whispered sweet nothings into my hair. His fingers brushed through my sweaty hair, but I didn't have a care in the world. My heart settled back into my chest.

"Hey, tell me what's wrong." Ashton carried me to the couch. We sat so that I was sitting on his lap, and my legs were stretched on to the couch. I knew that if I talked it would just come out in a jumbled mess. I drew in a few breaths before letting them out.

I was glad he was patient with me. He didn't bombard me with more questions. He sat there, giving me a minute to breathe. I was thankful for the space.

"I just had a really bad nightmare."

"Tell me about it." At his words, my cheeks caught fire. I was embarrassed to be crying over a dream. The dream felt so real. I almost thought that he was actually dead. Telling him I was crying over him made me rethink the entire thing.

I couldn't tell him that. It would just get to his head. I really didn't need him teasing me right now. I just wanted him to hold me and tell me that everything was okay. That my dream would never become a reality. The death part is unavoidable, but being murdered is. I never want to experience such vivid feelings.

"Ashton, you died. In my dream, someone killed you and left the message, look at what you did. You were mauled up and hanging. Your mom was dead, your sister was dead." Telling him actually hurt me. The tears were a never ending river. Reliving my dream was the worst. I didn't ever want to think about it.

"Hey, listen to me. Nothing like that is ever going to happen. You don't need to worry. I should get you home." Ashton sighed. He stood from the couch, picking me up as he did so. My arms wrapped around his neck.

His words hadn't been very convincing. I could tell he was just as worried as I was. Though, he didn't know about the anxiety. He didn't need to know either. That was something I was dealing with on my own. With running a pack and all, I couldn't burden him with my issues. They weren't as important at the moment.

Ashton walked out of his house and made his way to mine. We reached my room, which was still untouched. My heart was hammering against my rib cage. It felt like it was going to burst.

"Can you stay?" The words had escaped my mouth before I even had time to mentally process them. I felt like a child.

"Of course." Ashton's smile reached his eyes. He kissed my forehead and lay next to me. I wrapped my right leg over his waist, right arm over his chest. His arm was wrapped around my head, keeping me head on his chest. The other arm wrapped around my waist, keeping me pressed into his body.

This felt so natural. Nothing could ruin this moment. I wanted it to last forever. An eternity in each others arms sounded like heaven.

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