Irrevocably His

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Chapter thirty one

Sebastian’s {POV}

“Fuck! Fuck!” I screamed inside my car whilst banging repeatedly on the steering wheel of my car with my palms. I was shaking all over and I could feel cold sweat dripping down from my forehead. The excruciating pain in my heart was too much, it was choking me.

Why? Just why? Of all the women in the world, why does it have to be Her?


My head was pounding with the painful unanswerable questions. I love her so much that all I could do was smile and laugh through the pain of seeing them together. Try as much as I can I might show my discomfort and pain to my best friend but I can never do that to her. She is happy with him and all I could do was to push myself over and over again to accept what was laid before me.

My best friend and the love of my life together.

Rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand, which seemed to be blurry with the tears I didn’t even realize I was shedding. I let out a bitter laugh at my pathetic situation.

This is the reason why I never wanted to be in love. It brought only pain. It only cripples you.

Life is never fair to anyone, every human has to go through miseries in their life only to be enveloped in absolute happiness which makes all the sufferings seem just a distant dream. But for me it keeps on giving, I have no room to breath.

In my hurricane of a life, the only true joy, the only breath of fresh air is Bella. She slowly waltzed into my life capturing my heart and soul. She became my necessity, my addiction to live. And I didn’t want to let go.

I am a practical person but when it comes to her all my rational mindset goes off and I become an idealist, hoping and daydreaming that she would be mine one day even though I knew she was with someone else. I had that inextinguishable burning hope that she would in time reciprocate back my feelings towards her.

Heaving a deep sigh I leaned my head on the car seat and closed my eyes feeling waves after waves of excruciating pain of finally realizing that she will never be mine. My mind seeing only her haunting emerald green eyes whispering unsaid words of apology. My twisted greedy self-wanted to tell her that, I don’t want your apology; just be mine.

I shook my head as if that would make her disappear from my thoughts. She would never disappear because she was already imprinted deep in every fiber of my being. I drank myself to oblivion when I was in Monte Carlo but no amount of alcohol could make me stop thinking about her. No other women could catch my interest, no matter how beautiful they might be inside and out to the world because they were not my Bella.

Before I lose my mind and end up going back to Nic’s place and do something crazy and lose everything. I fished out my phone from my blazer pocket and make a call,” Eric, I am on my way.” Saying that I cut the call when I heard an okay from the other end.

Maneuvering the car out of Nic’s apartment parking lot I drove towards the only place where I know, I can vent my frustrations out. Right now I just want to drown my self in my own purgatory of having lost the love of my life.

There was an eerie numbness corroding my whole body. I feel like an empty shell just floating; present but not here.

How does an empty shell go on living?

Finally reaching my destination I parked the car in the dark alley of the pavement, I got out from the car and walked towards an old run down building. The area was one of the sketchiest places in Queens. Nic and I discovered this place through mutual friends of ours eight years back.

“Collins ma man. Long time.” A tall dark and hugely build man greeted me at the front door flashing me his friendly smile which was quickly replaced by his usual stony expression. His looks were made for intimidating people.

“Good to see you, Eric.” We hugged each other patting our backs. Even for my 6 feet 2 he still towered over me.

“Where is King.” He tilted his head to the side looking behind me.

“Its just me tonight.” I returned.

“I see. Give me your car key, I’ll let Ringo take care of it.” I gave him the key and he handed the key to a stout looking man. He took the key from Eric and moved towards the location where I parked the car.

Opening the rusted iron door we went inside walking down a poorly dimmed hallway, I nodded to his hugely build bouncers all in black same as Eric standing in every corner of the hallway. All familiar faces except for some.

“Did you replace Ringo with Derick?” I asked.

“Yes, that kid got into some nasty shit with the drug lords and got himself arrested. I ain’t billing his shit no more. I am done with him.” Eric grunted.

“Shame.” I returned. Eric took care of his workers like family, always going out of his way to take care of their needs. Derrick must have got under Eric’s nerve for him to wash his hand off of him for good.

“Spectator or fighter,” Eric asked as we climbed down a fleet of iron stairs to the basement.

“Fighter.” Came my unflinching reply.

“Then what’s with the suit and tie.” Eric chuckled.

I just shrugged. I didn’t want to elaborate anything.

“We have a beast tonight. In his third round still going strong. Want to go for him, I’ll bet on you.” His voice drowning in the sea of screams and music with strong bass shaking the wall as one of his bouncers opened the door to the fighting circuit.

We took our seats in the iron chairs in the front. Eric has been running this underground pit fighting circuit for the last thirteen years. It is far from mainstream boxing events as can be. It is unsanctioned but it throws people from all walks of life. Locations are changed according to convenience and trusted members informed of its locations via text messages. And as always everyone follows the unshakeable rule of fight club,” you don’t talk about it.”

Away from the glitz of UFC, this was a mixed bowl of thugs, wannabes, devout martial artists looking for a good fight. Or millionaires and billionaires like me most looking for the thrill but tonight I am not here for the thrill, I am here to feel nothing.

“Look at that punch. You should fight him, Collins.” Eric clapped my back.

I was observing the guy in the makeshift ring surrounded by wire fencing. For once I am no longer concentrating on the pain in my heart but observing and sizing up my opponent’s moves.

He was definitely shorter than me and he had the classic textbook physique of a fighter; ripped, muscular and lean. He unleashes several power punches on his opponent as the crowd yells. He beats the piss out of his opponent in just two minutes making him tap out to an armbar because if he didn’t I was sure he would’ve broken his arm.

The fight was over. He won. I prepared my self mentally for my fight as I took out all my clothes and shoes save for my pants. I stretched my legs and jogged putting punching in the air to warm up, as they wipe clean the bloody mess before it stages the next fight.

My opponent gets the crowd riled up hoisting his arms in the air. I put on the four-ounce gloves and staggered towards the ring to go head-to-head with him.

The first few minutes was spend both of us going in circles. He blocking off my advances easily and I his. Seeing him getting little disoriented I went in fast and landed a hard power punch on his gut which left him staggering back and resting his back on the wire fencing.

In my quick peripheral vision, I saw Nic strode towards the ring standing with folded arms and observing. This fucker! I had a feeling he would come looking for me.

A tight kick to my face brought my attention back to the ring. The kick hurt like a bitch. But it pumped me up making me go in for the kill, I landed a hard punch on his chin sending my adrenaline pumping. He came charging towards me landing another punch in my gut but I quickly recovered and was able to get him down.

I hold him there and delivered a series of headbutts to the dome that exposed my opponent to an armbar submission. He taps out and after I help him up, we hug and smile. There was no bad blood between us, all the aggressions stays in the ring.

The crowd still screaming wildly wanting for more fight. And me I was just getting warmed up. To my utter surprise, I saw Nic stepping into the ring.

He wants to fight me!

Eyeing him,” You don’t want her to see you all bruised up Nic.” I mocked him. I was feeling petty as fuck.

He just smirked.

“Hey, rich boys. Are you planning a cocktail party? Fight.” A man from the crowd yelled. Which send the whole crowd roaring in laughter and they started chanting Fight repeatedly.

We circled around sizing each other up. I knew his moves well and he knew mine. So it was going to be difficult to land punches.

Instead of my usual moves, I adopt a different move. I went in aggressively blowing punches after punch making him block it just as aggressively. I found a loophole and ended up landing a hard punch on his face which ended in him having a bloodied mouth.

Spitting the blood out, he just smirked unfazed by it. The actual fight had just begun. Nearly ten minutes into our fight both of us bloodied nose and teeth, both slowly draining of energy but stubborn not to give up.

I crushed him with my shoulder sending him tumbling to the floor. And as I went charging towards him, he caught me in the gut with his knee. Which sent me crashing backward losing my footing and down on the floor flat.

We were done, there was no strength left from both to make the move. Two of Eric’s men came to pull us up from the floor and took us towards his office where he was waiting for us.

“You billionaires are crazy fucks.” Eric shook his head seating behind an iron table.

I tried to wink at him but was restricted because of my swollen cheek.

I looked at my best friend to my right who had his lip torn up and bloodied. I passed him the wet tissue which Eric gave me, he took it from me saying nothing.

“Here have some Gin it will help. Crazy fucks.” Eric muttered under his breath as he poured us each a glass of gin.

Both of us gulp down the drink in one shot setting the glass down noisily on the table.

“Men fight for three things money, power, and women.” Eric looked at both of us rubbing his chin studying us.

“Since you both have the first two to last you a lifetime. I am sure it is the third one and I’m telling you. She ain’t worth it man.” He finished.

None of us replied him back.

“And even if she is someone special.” He paused taking a sip of the gin.” You shouldn’t let your years of brotherhood break. Be a man and work it out fairly if not for you. Do it for her sake.” He finished sounding amused by our present predicament.

We finally found ourselves outside fully dressed, we haven’t exchanged a word since the fight.

“I still need a drink,” I stated.

He cocked his left brow,” Your rooftop or mine.”


“Fine. Let’s go.” He walked towards his car limping slightly. I just hope she won’t hate me for this. But both of us needed that badly.

We finally arrived at my hotel, the Collins. I instructed the butler to bring us ice bags and scotch neat our usual drink.

We settled ourselves on the sofas facing each other. The view was magnificent as always from the rooftop. The city lit up fully and so was the Brooklyn Bridge which was visible from where we were sitting. How ironic I thought, something to just remind us of her.

The butler came with our drinks and the ice bags. Sitting the drinks on the center table he handed us each the ice bags.

“Is there anything else you want Sir.”

I cast a brief glance towards Nic wanting to ask if he needs anything. He shook his head and went back to pressing the ice bag to his lip.

" No that will be all. Thank you.”

Once the butler left us I put the ice bag on my swollen cheek winching at its impact but liking how the coldness numb the pain.

If only there was a way to numb the pain in my heart.

Both of us were quiet just nursing our wounds with the ice bag. The atmosphere became awkward silent.

I am a kind of person who would always joke and make a tense atmosphere lighten up. But tonight I was tongue tight. Placing the ice bag on the table I picked up my glass of scotch took a sip and walked towards the edge of the rooftop looking at the lit up Brooklyn Bridge.

Nic joined me standing to my left sipping on his scotch.

“I can’t just unlove her Nic,” I confessed my truth finally gaining the momentum to speak.

“I know.” Came his wary reply.

“So what now,” I asked facing him.

He heaved a deep sigh tugging his free hand in his pant pocket,” I love her Sebastian, I can’t let her go. I am sorry.” His facial expression looked tortured begging for my understanding.

I nodded. And thinking deeply I finally spoke mastering all courage because it had to be done,” You don’t have to say sorry Nic. Just treasure her, love her the way she deserves, treat her well. And don’t worry about me I’ll be fine. It will take time but I’ll learn to accept it. Just let me be in her life as her friend. I promise you I will never cross the line.” I almost pleaded.

“Thank you, Sebastian. And I assure you I will love her and treat her beyond how she deserves. And as for being friends with her who am I to meddle in your friendship. I told her and I am telling you too.” He paused resting his hand on my left shoulder giving it a firm grip and releasing it,” I will never soil your friendship by doubting, I will never come in between your friendship.”

I nodded feeling relieved that the awkward confrontation was over with.

“So the love of life becomes my best friend’s girl then.” I joke laughing richly.

Nic choked on his drink. I had to pat on his back as he coughed vigorously.

“Fucker.” He cursed flashing me a deadly angry look.

I let out a nervous laugh,” Sorry it sounded funnier in my head.”

He just shook his head in disbelieve and gulp the whole scotch.

“I need to leave. Are you coming?” He asked as he walked towards the sofas to keep the glass on the table.

“No, you go ahead. I’ll be here for some time.” I returned not looking his way and fixing my eyes on the bridge.

“Fine then.Goodnight.” He muttered.

“Goodnight Nic.” I gave my back to him I had no guts to watch him walk home to her. The glass shattered in my hand I didn’t realize I was holding it too firmly. Looking down at my bloodied hand I let out a bitter laugh even this wound won’t even replace the pain in my heart.

Dominic’s ( POV)

Finally reaching home I went up straight to the bedroom. Ignoring the curious look Morris gave me at my beat-up appearance. I just hope she wouldn’t be upset by it, it was inevitable. It had to be done.

Opening the door I went in. The room was semi-dark only the faint light coming from the TV illuminated the room. I glanced towards the bed and there I saw her curled up and sleeping soundly on top of the bed in a horizontal manner.

It made me smile sending a warm feeling in my heart. She must have slept off in between whatever she was watching. One way it was good that she slept off because as much as I enjoy listening to her reprimanding me I was too tired. At least a good night’s rest will help me prepare to face her wrath.

I lifted her up gently and settled her inside the cover and quickly went into the bathroom to freshen up and get ready for bed.

Once I was done I put off the Tv and settled into the cover pulling her gently towards me and making her head rest on my chest wrapping my arms around her.

She steered and mumbled softly with her sleepy voice,” when did you come back.”

“Just a while ago. Sleep sweetheart will talk tomorrow.”

“Hmm.” She murmured.

I planted a kiss on top of her head but winced as my lip scrapped her hair.

“Goddammit! He had to punch my lips of all the places.

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