I need to get the hell out of here now!
My head shoots up and I force a smile. “Uh, yeah. Everything is just peachy. I’m just really getting tired. I think I should get home.”
Travis gives me a strange look. “Oh, okay. Well, let’s go.”
As he drives, I go over the signs in my head. He’s handsome. He’s obviously wealthy. He has good taste. Oh, and he has a fucking mask to the fucking club! God, Thea, you really know how to pick ’em. Out of all the eligible men in New York, I keep picking the ones who like to go to sex clubs.
When Travis pulls up at my place, I sit there for a moment, trying to figure out the right words to close this date.
“So…I had fun.” I smile. Yeah, I think that worked. Suddenly, without my permission or realization, Travis leans over, his lips landing on mine. I press my hands against his chest and push him back. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I was kissing you. I thought…” He falls silent, running his fingers through his hair.
“Well you thought wrong. God, you could have at least asked.” I frown, undoing my seat belt. As I’m about to open the door, Travis reaches out to grab my wrist.
“Wait, Thea, I’m sorry. I just thought since we had a good time that I could. It wasn’t that bad.”
“No, Travis, it was bad. Just because we have a good date doesn’t entitle you to a kiss. Look, I have to go. Maybe I’ll see you around. I just don’t think it’s going to work out. I’m clearly in no position to be dating.” I roll my eyes and open the door, getting out, and tossing his cardigan into the passenger seat. When I close the door to the car, Travis pulls off. Asshole.
Or maybe it’s just the fact that I know his secret that turned me off to kissing him. Either way, I just want to go to bed.
He ruined a perfectly good evening for me. I thought he would be one of the good ones. Boy, did I think wrong. Marching up to the door, I go in and head to the elevator, feeling defeated.
Riding up, I lean against the elevator wall, contemplating just being single for a while. No guys. No fun. Just me and my handy dandy vibrator to keep me happy. My vibrator would never hide anything from me and it doesn’t sneak off to go to a secret vibrator club.
Giggling to myself, I watch the numbers stop on my floor and the doors open. Stepping out, I head to my apartment and as I’m about to open the door, I stop. Checking my phone, I know he’s not here, but it’s worth a try. I just really need to talk to him.
Quickly, I get back on the elevator and ride to Ethan’s floor. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m no longer thinking with my head. My legs are just moving and the rest of me is following. When I get to his floor, I rush to his door and knock especially hard, not really expecting an answer, but truly surprised when the door swings open. My eyes widen a bit when Ethan is standing before me, looking quite tempting, but troubled at the same time. His tie is undone and hanging off his shoulder with the top buttons on his black shirt undone.
“I didn’t think you’d be here.” I shake my head as my mind finally starts back up in time to tell me that I need to haul ass back to my apartment. However, my feet stay planted.
“Thea, what are you doing here?”
“I…I don’t know I didn’t think this far ahead. I just got home from my date and it was amazing. Then it was awful.” I shake my head. God, please help me find my words. As I’m having an internal debate, Ethan’s forehead scrunches.
“Did he do something? Are you okay?” He reaches out to touch my arm, but stops mid-way, letting his hand drop.
“No, I’m fine. He kissed me, but that’s it.” I look down at my feet, fiddling with my keys. Silence falls between us until Ethan clears his throat. “Why are you here, Thea?”
I don’t know why, but the question burns my core. “I just needed someone to talk to, because it seems like even when I try to escape you, I can’t get away from that place. The club. That stupid, stupid club”
“What are you talking about?”
“I was in his car and I reached into his backseat to grab a sweater and as I pull it, a little black mask falls out onto my lap. I almost wanted to cry. Will every man I meet never be satisfied with just being with me? Will they always need more? Maybe I’m just not enough. I wasn’t enough for Greg, for you, for Travis.” I’m about to continue rambling when Ethan steps forward, grabbing my shoulder.
My left foot moves back to get away from him, but the rest of my body stays put as I look at the complicated expression on Ethan’s face.
“Thea, you are enough.” He says, looking me right in the eyes.
“How can you say that Ethan? It’s not true and you know it.” I finally step away from him.
Ethan runs his fingers through his hair as he takes a deep breath, looking down either side of the hall. “Can you please come in so we can talk about this?”
“There’s nothing to talk about Ethan. I’m sorry I even came. Good bye” I go to turn around when suddenly, an arm snakes around my waist from behind, lifting me off my feet. Gasping, I kick my feet as Ethan carries me into his apartment like some defiant child.
Once inside, he sets me on my feet and closes the door. Huffing, I cross my arms and give him the death stare. “Why did you do that?”
“Because you never listen. You’re so damn hard headed that you don’t even want to hear what I have to say about the situation. You’ve just assumed no one wants you.”
“It’s not an assumption. You chose that club over me. If there was the slightest chance that you wanted me then you would’ve spoken up and said it.”
“Don’t be so sure of that.” He grumbles as he turns away from me, pacing in his foyer.
Silence falls over the both of us and I turn to set my bag down on his sofa. Wrapping my arms around myself, I walk over to his open window and look out at the city lights. I truly don’t know what can be accomplished by me coming here. All we ever end up doing is arguing. I’m so stupid for letting myself feel something for me. From the beginning, I knew I wasn’t good enough for him. He wanted to change me from day one with those stupid hair ties that I just so happen to have collected in my bathroom. Christ. I’m way in too deep. Now I’m babbling in my own head. Just shut up, Thea.