Not soon after finding out that I’m with child, the woes of pregnancy begin peeking through. On a particular Wednesday morning, while sleeping with Ethan, I wake to an uneasy feeling in my chest. The uneasy feeling begins to grow and move further up and I jump up, knowing what’s about to happen. I rip myself from Ethan’s hold and scramble to the bathroom just in time to throw up. I cough up the contents of my stomach before the uneasy feeling dies down a bit. Flushing the toilet, I sit on the cold floor for a bit before pulling myself to my feet. I brush my teeth quickly before jumping into the shower to somehow make improve how I’m feeling. As the hot water is pouring down on me, I hear Ethan comes shuffling into the bathroom about 10 minutes too late.
“Morning, babe.” He answers in a groggy voice.
Slightly pissed that he didn’t wake to me throw up, I don’t answer him. I’m really not even in the mood to look at him right now. When he realizes that I haven’t answered, he opens the shower door.
I shake my head, turning away to grab my body wash. I could easily tell him that I don’t feel good and the look of his face is irritating me, but I just choose to bite my tongue. I just want to get this day over with.
Ethan stands there for a second longer before closing the door, letting me be. I don’t get out of the shower until he out of the bathroom. I don’t know why I’m acting like this, but instead of trying to shake it off, I let it engulf my whole attitude.
Slowly, I dry off and put on a loose black dress, flats, and a simple thin jacket. Not wanting to bother with my hair, I pull it up into a messy bun. With the way my stomach feels, It’s probably best that it’s up. I don’t know how this came on so fast in just a matter of days. Does pregnancy work like that? I’m going to have to ask the doctor that when I go next week.
I’m actually not supposed to go back to work until next week under Ethan’s orders. After the whole Kate thing, he just wanted me to rest and I did. I’ve gotten so much rest that I’ve never been so rested in my life. It’s getting boring being cooped up in this apartment. It’s not like I’m ever doing anything tiring at work. I just sit at a desk or make copies. My back feels perfectly fine, I’ve covered the bruises on my face with makeup so I’m good.
When I walk into the kitchen, Ethan is standing at the stove making breakfast. I immediately smell bacon which is my favorite, but today it’s the worst smell ever. As soon as it hits my nose, I stop breathing as my stomach turns.
I shake my head.
“I’m just not hungry. I’ll just take an orange and some water.”
“Are you okay? You’re acting weird this morning.”
“I’m perfectly fine.” I mumble as I grab an orange from my fruit bowl. When I rip the peel back, the citrus smell somehow eases my stomach. As Ethan is preparing himself a plate, I devour the orange and grab another. The tartness settles my stomach and I feel tons better. I don’t know why it took an orange to do that, but I guess I’ll be eating these all day. Grabbing my bag, I bump at the oranges into it while Ethan’s back is turned.
While he eats breakfast, I sit on the sofa with my feet up, texting Anna about my morning sickness. She texts me back saying that she’ll stop by the bookstore and grab something on pregnancy so I can read up. I thank her and tell her that I’ll see her at work. It makes me happy that Anna has devoted herself to helping me through everything. When this baby is born, I want her to be the Godmother. It’s not like I have a long line of people to pick but, if I did, I’d still choose her.
On the ride to work, I casually peel another orange and eat it. Ethan doesn’t realize that this is the third orange I’ve eaten. I honestly think that he’s oblivious to anything pregnant women go through. He hasn’t caught on to any of the strange things I’ve been going through. I could easily tell him, but the baby has compromised my mood for the day.
By the time we get to work, my stomach is all sloshy from the oranges and water, but I feel full and okay for now. At my desk, I find Anna sitting in my chair reading a book with a woman and baby on the cover. Ethan walks into the office, takes one look at her and shakes his head. He kisses me on my temple and I hold my breath because, for the first time, I don’t like his cologne, but again, he doesn’t notice. After he’s in his office, I roll my eyes.
“He’s driving me crazy.”
“What’d he do?” She asks as she turns a page in the book.
I think about it for a minute before sighing.
“Nothing. He hasn’t done anything. I’m just acting crazy. I threw up this morning and I can’t eat anything but oranges. Everything stinks and I’m just in a lousy mood.”
“That’s expected in your 9th week. You’re experiencing your morning sickness a little later than most, but it’s still normal. You will also be more tired than usual so don’t be surprised if you get sleepy later.”
I take the book from her hand, closing it, and sitting it on my desk.
“Shoo, baby whisperer. I need to get to work.”
Anna laughs as she gets up and heads to the door.
“Text me if you need anything. I’ll bring you some fruit from the cafeteria a little later.”
I manage to make it through the morning only feeling a little woozy. It doesn’t distract me from my work and a few sips of water help me out. At lunch, as promised, Anna brings me a large both of fresh fruits. There’s watermelon, oranges, cantaloupe, and pomegranates. I do a small happy dance as I take the plastic spoon out digging in. As I’m eating Ethan comes out of his office and steals a piece of watermelon from my bowl.
“How’s it going?”
“Good.” I mumble with a mouth full of fruit.
“Good. We have a meeting in half an hour. Meet me in conference room 110 with these copies.” He lays some papers on my desk and I nod.
Leaning over, he kisses my fruit flavored lips and hums.
“Yummy.” He winks and I can’t help but smirk.
After lunch, I somehow survive the meeting, only dozing off twice. Ethan only notices once. I expect him to say something about it, but instead, he just tells me that I need to go to bed a little earlier from now on. It isn’t until then that I notice that Ethan has also been acting a little different. He’s distant but he’s also more affectionate if that makes sense. I don’t know if it’s because of the baby, but I like it a little.
I make it through the whole day without getting sick again and when I get home, I make myself a small chicken salad with a large glass of water. I would kill for a glass of wine but, that’s not possible now. It actually makes me feel guilty that I was drinking while pregnant but, it’s not my fault that I didn’t know. There was a lot I wouldn’t have done if I’d known I was pregnant. I begin to wonder if Ethan will still want me to go to the club with him this weekend and any other weekend after. I mean I’d be quite a Debby Downer if I fall asleep in the corner or something. I’d still like to go because I like the club, but would it still be fun with the way I’m feeling?
The rest of the evening, I think about the club and how my pregnancy is going to affect it all. I don’t want to be some boring pregnant woman and I know Ethan doesn’t want us to lose something we both enjoy. I guess we’re just going to have to see how this goes.
With Ethan sleeping at his place tonight, I get to spend some time alone for the first time since I got out the hospital. I take a long warm bath and crawl into bed alone. I sprawl out and without 10 minutes of reading the baby book Anna gave me, I knock out at 9:30 pm. I sleep harder than ever, but the next morning, I wake from my glorious sleep to that uneasy feeling in my chest. A few seconds later, I’m running to the bathroom, sticking my face into the toilet.
I guess this is my new norm for a while. I better get used to it.