The day my mother is due to arrive, I’m a ball of hot mess. From the moment I woke up, I’ve been nervous. I don’t know why. She seemed thrilled to be coming here so there’s nothing to worry about. I hope. I don’t think my mother is going to be quite ready to see how her daughter has turned out. When I was young, I played in the dirt and got into fights. Now, I care about things like crystal vases and dressed with pockets. Her head might pop off when she sees me. I vaguely recall me wearing a pair of torn-up shorts and some old band shirt with my hair in a tangled bun. When she sees me now, I’m going to wearing an expensive dress with my hair its natural color. Ever since my dramatic haircut after fighting with Ethan, it’s grown back so healthy. When I left home, my hair had horrible blonde highlights that I did while sitting on her kitchen counter.
I wasn’t a bad kid or anything. However, growing up in a broken homemade people think I was so I made sure to make myself look the part. I’ve never even done hard drugs before. Just a blunt or two in the past.
The last time I saw my mother, her brown hair was tangled and dull from not being washed much. She was wearing a shirt with a small cigarette burn at the bottom with blue jeans. The image of her sitting on the sofa drunk has always been stuck in my head. During the moment, I was just so tired of her drinking away our money and all hell broke loose ending with her kicking me out. Now that I’m older, I know it was just the alcohol talking.
After a year or so, we both seem like we’re doing a whole lot better which is great since I’m about to be a mom myself. I honestly can’t wait to catch up with her. I will tell her everything except anything pertaining to the club. I don’t need her thinking that New York has turned me into some crazy person.
Speaking of the club, when we went the other night, I was halfway bored out of my mind for the first part of the night. I couldn’t drink so the room just seemed loud and crowded. It took a long while for me to really get in the mood. As we were sitting in the main upstairs room, this couple noticed that I wasn’t drinking and looked cranky. The woman came over and sat down between Ethan and me while her guy when to get a drink.
“Hi, I’m Erica.”
“Dawn.” I smile and she nods.
“You don’t look like you’re having fun.”
“Ehh, it’s just one of those nights. I roll my eyes, giving her a smile.
“I completely understand.” She leans in and smiles.
“I just had a baby 3 months ago. This is my second time coming since he was born. Trust me, I understand how you’re feeling.”
Right then, I knew I liked Erica. Kate, Erica and I began talking immediately. Ethan caught the hint and merged over to the other seat to talk to Erica’s guy. I asked Erica tons of questions about having fun without being drunk. She gave me some good advice. She said that I should go to this room where you can ride something called a Sybian. She doesn’t tell me much about it. She just says that it’s great for getting in the mood without having to have sex or drink.
When I asked Ethan about it, his eyes widened and he immediately excused himself from the conversation to take me there. Let’s just say that by the end of the night, I was researching how to get a Sybian in my apartment. The thing is like a magic high powered vibrator attached to a little seat you straddle. I was a little intimidated by it, but Ethan assured me that it was safe for me and the baby. A few people were spectating as I sat down on the thing. Looking over, I watched as Ethan smiled with the remote in his hand.
“You ready, baby?”
I nod and suddenly under me, the thing turns on. It surprises me at first but, when Ethan turned up the dial, I realized why Erica recommended it. In 5 minutes flat, I came over 6 times. I was drenched and had to rid myself of the satin panties I was wearing. That thing was magical and I can’t wait to use it again.
I whip my head towards the door and see Ethan standing there.
“Yes, Just checking everything.”
“Babe, the room is great. Stop overanalyzing it.”
After checking her room for the tenth time, I make sure everything is in its place. I thanked Ethan a million times for sending an interior decorating friend over to set up the room. It looks amazing. It’s not flashy or dull. It’s welcoming and peaceful with hues of grey and light blue. The decorator and I spent two days setting everything up. It would’ve only taken one if Ethan hadn’t been hovering over me to make sure I wasn’t tiring myself out too much. I know it’s coming from a good place but, after a while, it was driving me crazy.
These past few days, Ethan has been in full-blown helicopter mode. Once he read up on how women have miscarriages in their first trimester, he’s been naggy. By naggy, I mean him telling me to sit down or lie down and rest 15 times a day. At work he barely even lets me walk to make copies. He’s gotten me an intern assistant name, Hayley. She’s 16 and doing an internship at the company so she can get a recommendation letter from Ethan for college. I’m sure he’s hanging it over her head so she does everything thing for me. She’s a sweet girl though. I can’t fault her for Ethan’s craziness.
He’s gotten so bad that I’ve heard him twice talking about letting me work from home. We agreed that I’d work until I can’t anymore but, I think he’s trying to rearrange things so that I work from home full time. I don’t know how I feel about it. I like to think that once things have settled a bit with the baby that I’d go back but, I’m not so sure. I haven’t told Ethan that I know about his plans. I probably won’t bring it up until I’ve come to a conclusion about it myself. It’s not like I’d be giving up my job, however, am I ready to be a stay at home mom?
Once I leave the room, Ethan and I eat lunch before deciding that it’s a good time to head to the airport. My mom’s flight still has about another hour or so, much we’re equally excited so we want to get there extra early. Apart of me wishes that I had the luxury of meeting Ethan’s parents but, they both passed which lead to him getting the company in the first place. He doesn’t talk about them much but, his father’s name comes up sometimes in meetings when it comes to comparing Ethan’s executive choices with those of his father’s. I don’t know much about his mother other than she was pretty. I just assume that it hurts too much for Ethan to talk about so I don’t press about it.
Hopefully, my mother can be like a mother to Ethan. Nothing beats having a mother’s touch in your life. Deep down in my soul, I am so excited to make up for lost time with my mom. I resented her for the longest but, over time, I just ended up missing her so much. I’m glad that she’s felt the same way.
Seems like this whole time we were both just being stubborn.