Chapter 12 – Her Secret
When she introduced me to her wanker husband as her boyfriend I was beyond elated, I realised she wasn’t at all fearful of our relationship and my entire body lit up like fireworks. But then, he decided he would be a cock and ruined my happy moment.
He, in no way, deserved her and that was evident in his disgusting description of her and yet, my sexy minx fought back. She was no longer afraid of his hurtful lies that caused her to shrink within herself, no, she had become stronger, powerful and proud. She would no longer be torn down into broken pieces by husband dumbass but rose from within like a phoenix spreading her wings.
We arrived back at the house and I was fuming. Arabella kicked off her shoes and walked out to the veranda, while Pierre stayed and listened to me ranting and raving. I had a right, he had touched my girl, threatened her and now, she was unable to talk - temporarily mute. Her silence the whole way back was unnerving and to watch her having a conversation within herself, meant I probably would not enjoy the outcome. After the food arrived and I had started to calm down, it was time for us to talk.
She sat there, watching the sun down with tears sliding down her cheeks, what he had said had caused her this pained reaction, I needed to know why?
“I, am a murderer.” My heart stopped beating. What? My sweet, precious Arabella murdered someone? I pushed my plate away from me.
“What do you mean?” I glanced over at Pierre, his fork frozen in mid-air and his mouth hung slack and wide.
“Not just someone… three, three are dead because of me.”
I couldn’t focus, shaking my head from side to side in disbelief at her sudden admission. No, I had been with this woman intimately, she was incapable of hurting a fly.
“It’s true, and I’m going to meet Caleb at seven, without you.” She had stated things extremely clear, with no room for discussion. “If I don’t, he will get rid of everything that belonged to them. He’s tried to before when I disobeyed him, I have to make sure I keep them safe.”
“Them?” Pierre gasped.
“Yes them, a boy and girl. Rylie and Ryan Lucia, our twins.”
“Huh?” I was beyond confused. What the hell was happening right now?
“Almost six years ago, Caleb and I were so in love. We had found out I was carrying twins and our little family was about to get bigger...” I watched as she sniffled, closing her eyes, she was replaying the memory in her head.
“He was so happy… he always wanted to be a father because his own was an abusive alcoholic. I Had become very tired, being eight months pregnant at the time and Caleb was annoyed that I didn’t rest more. He had started working at the firm and was working long hours and we had been arguing more about, how I need him and he needed to make money for our twins’ arrival. Looking at it now, I wish I never had argued about such minuscule things, but we did.” I watched her swallow deeply trying to collect her thoughts, palming her forehead.
“October 3rd, we had a pretty disastrous argument about him being home at 11.45pm, I was beyond mad. I had sat at that damn dining room table since 5.30pm and not once, had he bothered to text or pick up the phone. He arrived back reeking of liquor and cheap perfume. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door, grieving and presuming the worst.”
“Fuck baby, this doesn’t sound too good,” I look at her.
“Go on Arabella,” Pierre gestures.
“Do you want me to stop?” She asks me.
“Yes… but no, carry on, sorry.”
“Right… um… I had been driving around for about, forty-five minutes, it had started rain and was getting heavier by the minute. Caleb was blowing up my phone but I refused to answer, I was so angry at him. I was thinking every bad thing under the sun including how my twenty-year-old body had exploded, my mind couldn’t quite registering that I had put on weight due to the babies and not because I was just fat. Every insecurity I had was out in the open and wreaking havoc on my marriage.
“I kept saying to myself that we should never have gotten married, we were too young and here I was, with swollen ankles and more and more wobbly bits. Tearing myself apart, with my horrible thoughts of my body all because, all I could see was an expanding stomach and waist and that is why he didn’t want to come home.” Her tears began to run heavily and her gasps for air became desperate.
“He called again and I threw the phone on the passenger’s seat but I must have knocked the answer button cause I heard him yelling. I took my eyes off the road f-for a second, just a second, I didn’t mean too, I would never h-hurt anyone on purpose, I’m so sorry... I-I’m so s-sorry...” Arabella could barely breathe.
“What happened? Why are you sorry?” My voice hitched, I was not stupid, I knew what she was going to say.
“There were h-headlights, they came straight for me...” she hung her head low sobbing uncontrollably as I put my hand around her and pulled her in. “It was a head-on c-collision, I blacked out on impact and when I woke, my stomach was in pain but all I could hear was the s-sound of screaming. I somehow got the door open and fell onto the bitumen. I crawled to the other car, my legs covered in blood - I presumed I had broken my legs by the amount of blood. I opened the driver’s door - there was a lady...” she brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
“Her head hung to the side, I found out later that she had snapped it the moment we collided. All I could hear was screaming, so I dragged myself to the back door where I found a little girl with beautiful ringlets. She was screaming, screaming so loud for her mum - I can still hear her scream every day... every damn day it haunts me, and I, I had killed her mum, torn her life away from her in the blink of an eye.” Sucking in a huge breath, she continued.
“I was rushed to hospital still clutching the little girl, I had to protect her, there was no one else, kept her safe as I bled from between my legs. They pried her from me and I was rushed into surgery. When I woke up the following day, Caleb was there... h-holding two bundles with tears running down his face. He looked at me with h-hate… ‘this is your fault’ he said, ‘our babies are dead because of you.’
“I tried to explain, I tried s-so hard but he wouldn’t listen. To him it was my fault, he hated me for it but I hated myself more. I t-took that poor girl’s mum and I can’t heal from that. I have their ashes and their belongings... he threatens to get rid of them, their stuff, the sonogram pictures, everything - if I don’t do what he says. That’s why I have to go… I murdered them, murdered them all, I don’t deserve to be happy and this - this torture I live in, is my punishment.”
“Arabella?” We look at Pierre with tears in his eyes, “you killed my wife.”
“What?” She jolts towards him but he leans back.
“Her name was Adria, she was studying to be a fashion designer and had just picked up Farah from her mother’s as her show ran late.” Pierre’s tears ran down his face.
“Pierre, I-I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” Arabella was wailing in pain at his knees.
“She was distracted by Farah - our daughter and drifted at the same time as you and you both collided in the middle of the road...”
“I’m so sorry,” her voice strained through her tears.
“It was an accident - you never meant to hurt anyone but you longer work for us.” And just like that, he storms out and slams the door with a thunderous bang.
“I have to go, I can’t be here, I’m so sorry.” Arabella’s pain reflected in her eyes, her skittishness worried me, clearly she was suffering but right now she needed to think straight. I followed her to the front door as she grabbed her jacket and handbag.
“When will you be back?” I look directly at her but she averts.
“I’m not coming back.”
“You are, don’t say that alright? Don’t you leave me now.”
“I don’t deserve you, this, us… you deserve to be happy - I deserve to die.”
“What do you mean baby? No… no, you need to come back to me, we belong together.” I cup her cheeks and pull her face to mine.
“I can’t Logan, you need to find Pierre, you need to be there for him, I am a monster you need to forget.”
“You can’t leave me, Arabella, I’m in love with you.” I kiss her lips but she pulls away.
“Please Logan, I have to go,” tears fall from her beautiful hazel eyes again.
“Did you hear me? I love you, I’m in love with you.”
“I heard Logan,” my forehead rests on hers as tears fall from both of us.
“Come back to me? Come home, Arabella.” I was fighting hard, for us, for love, for a future I wanted but she felt she didn’t deserve. I could feel her slipping away from me - she couldn’t leave me, not now.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
And then she’s was gone and I’m left standing there, staring at the floor, softly crying. My heart was broken - shattered beyond repair, the pain of losing the one you loved was excruciating.
I was ready to commit forever and she just left without a single glance back.