Chapter 17 – The Sonogram
“Hey Arabella, you better get going or ya going to be late.” My heart warmed at Amber’s care and concern for me as she hands me a piping hot tea in a paper cup and points towards the door. “Ricki and I got this.”
“Thank you, Amber, you are such a blessing.” Grabbing my bag from behind my counter I headed out the door. As I was closing it I brought the cup to my lips to blow.
“So I’ve been thinking…”
“What the fuck?” I shrieked and squeezed the contents of my cup, scolding spatters hit my shirt instantly searing my skin, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” I whimper.
“I’m sorry.” Gold bright eyes meet mine with desperation and fright.
“God, that’s hot… no, my shirt,” I pull my white blouse away from my chest.
“Would you like mine?”
“What? No Logan, my apartments up here, I’ll just get changed… what are you doing here?” I stride around the corner and begin to climb the stairs to my house, completely aware he’s following.
“I told you, I was thinking.”
“Huh? That explains nothing.”
“Well, it’s definitely an improvement on what I’ve been doing for the past seven months.”
Unlocking the door, I hold it open and motion for him to enter. My loft was not much, just one floor above the café, the floors were covered in wood and tiles, to your left was my lounge area with comfy burgundy couches, a wooden coffee table, of course, piled with books and a flat screen T.V.
Directly ahead of the front door, along the back wall, sat the kitchen with wooden cupboards, a small laundry room and a silver fridge. A rather odd place to have it but that’s the only slot the fridge would fit.
To the right sat two bedrooms and one bathroom, it was tiny in comparison to Logan’s place but suited me fine and when the baby arrived, we would still have enough room.
He walked over to the smaller of the two bedrooms and pushed open the ajar door. A simple light green bassinet, change table and some clothes sat inside. I twiddled my fingers, bit my lip and palmed my forehead.
“Um, it’s not much but the truth is, I’m terrified something might happen, so I haven’t gathered anything.”
“Green?” he questions.
“I don’t know the gender is. I guess, I always hoped we’d find out together?”
“When the baby was born?” He asks.
“Stupid… fantasy… really, you being there… at the birth.” I paused trying to swallow the lump in my throat.
“I’d like to be there… if that’s okay?” He awkwardly rubs the back of his neck.
“S-sure… that would be lovely,” I nod almost affirming to myself.
I stepped toward my bedroom and into the closet, throwing the shirt onto the bed and dropped my bag onto the ground.
“How have you been?” He asks from somewhere in my apartment.
“Wow, that’s what we are starting with?… okay,” sarcasm slips from my lips as I pull off my shirt.
By now Logan was leaning against the doorframe watching me as I dried my chest and belly with the towel.
“Where were you heading?” My head snaps to the side and he moves closer to me.
“A sonogram,” I whisper as he trails a burning line with his fingertips along my shoulders, “w-would you like to come?” He pauses.
“Yes,” he blows out from between his lips.
I lean forward to collect the new shirt off the bed as he grips my hips, moving in behind me. Damn these pregnancy hormones, I should be furious at him but instead, I’m melting under his touch.
“I thought I’d never touch you again,” my eyes roll to the back of my head as the lustrous heat swirled around us.
“I-I’m going to be late,” I finally manage to breathe out as my core clenches, my muscles twitching under his magnetic touch.
“Right… yes… we should probably go.” Logan moves out the door as I slip my shirt over my head, instantly mourning the loss of his body.
I must not think too much into this, I carry his child and maybe he just wants a chance to be a father, I can’t deny him that right just because we are not together. I grasp my bag, slip the strap over my head and one arm through before exiting.
Sitting in the waiting room staring at a magazine, pretending to read, I curiously watched Logan from the corner of my eye as he fidgeted beside me. He seemed nervous, god knows that nervous energy poured from him like a crop duster spreading across the fields.
“Arabella Key?” The attending nurse calls as Logan’s head snaps sideways in my direction.
“Key?” He questions as we rise from our seats.
“My maiden name,” I confirm and he realises the divorce had finalised.
“Follow me,” the nurse gestures and we are ushered into the doctor’s room.
“Ah Arabella, I was looking forward to seeing my favourite girl today.”
“Hi Ashton,” I lean forward and give him a hug. Ashton was not as tall as Logan, maybe 5ft 7, auburn hair, fair skin, light brown eyes and a soft gentle smile. Pulling away I spoke, finally introducing the elusive father. “Ashton this is Logan… the father.”
Considering it’s been four months since I found out I was carrying and this was their first meeting, I knew there would be judgement. I had known Ashton since high school but hadn’t spoken to him since the last day of school, so when I walked in as a transfer high-risk pregnancy - due to the twin’s deaths, it had been a shock to see his face.
“It’s nice of you to finally make it,” he remarks as he shakes Logan’s hand. I should have known his ruthless business demeanour would take over.
“Ashton is it?”
“Dr Ashton Verda.”
“Well Ashton, ‘my’ beautiful Arabella and I have been otherwise engaged but I am ever so eager to finally see ‘our’ child.” The emphasis on ‘my’ and ‘our’ had me rolling my eyes and Ashton straightening his back. He knew he was out of line and the lack of ‘Dr Verda’ meant Logan would likely put him back into place should he step out of line again. “After you Arabella,” he extends his hand toward the bed.
I laid down on the bed, waiting for our baby’s picture to be displayed on the screen as Logan’s hand found mine. He entwined our fingers and ran his thumb over my soft skin. I think the comfort was needed, it was his first experience but as I looked deeply into those gold eyes, I lost another piece of my soul to him.
“Alright, here we have the head...”
The sonogram was surprising, previously it had been a duty but watching Logan’s reaction was incredible. I observed him being swept up and captured amongst the black and white image displayed on the monitor and his eyes welled with tears. I watched as his face twisted to pure love, love for a baby he was apart of creating, he was hopelessly raptured in the euphoria of new life and my heart swelled. I had never watched someone fall in love like this. Completely lost and all at once, it was breathtaking and without noticing, tears began to fall from my eyes and roll down my cheeks.
He raised my hand to his soft full lips and gently pressed as the wetness fell. This moment was intimate, more than either of us had experienced before. Creation blossomed deep inside of me and I finally allowed myself to feel this moment, to give myself a break from the pain, the regret and from the guilt - enjoying this singular moment of utter happiness.
We said our goodbyes and headed for Logan’s car, his hand grasped around mine and his other held the tiny little black and white picture of our offspring. Ashton had asked again if we wanted to know the sex of our baby but we both refused. I guess at the end of our journey this would be our surprise, just how I had imagined.
We drove back to his house - his hand lightly gripped mine the whole way as silent tears fell and I wiped them away before they became obvious. As usual, his perception prevailed, that man noticed everything and I adored him for it.
“I can see you, Arabella, I’ve always seen you,” he squeezes my hand.
“I’m sorry Logan, it was just… just so beautiful watching you,” I whimpered as he pulled into the driveway.
“I can’t believe it?… I’m in love… completely, just from a glance.”
“Stop… these pregnancy hormones can’t handle any more.” I snorted, “why are we here and not my house?” I glanced up into his gold orbs and my heart swelled at the intense jubilation that gazed back.
“Because we need to talk and eat, but I never got to really finish what I started this morning.” He exits the car, coming around to open my door and closing it behind me before claiming my lips with his. “Come,” he leads us inside his house.