Chapter 18 – Reconnection
He places the sonogram on his double door, stainless steel fridge and I swoon as he admires it. “We have to talk,” he spins around suddenly and grabs the menu from the draw and orders, while I wander outside to the veranda and contemplate, overlooking the crashing waves.
Lost in my own thought of today’s events, how the day had started fairly boring and turned into something so magical - the light danced upon his handsome face and for the first time in a long time, I had those indescribable feelings of warmth and happiness. His warm comforting hand gently rested on the small of my back, pulling me from my thought process.
“I haven’t been out here since that night,” Logan admits as he gazes out at the ocean.
“Every time we are out here things seem to go wrong,” I look down, circling my hand over my belly.
“I’m sorry for how I acted that night,” he paused, watching me tensely. “I was… am… afraid to let you back in, you’ve run and hidden from me twice. When the baby arrives will you run again?”
At that moment, I understood the fear I had instilled within him due to my crazy and confused behaviour but what did this mean? “Logan…” I sighed heavily before continuing, “I can never make up for how I’ve hurt you but I can prove to you - every day - I’m not going anywhere. Even if you no longer want me, this child and you are my everything.”
Holding his gold’s firmly with my hazel eyes, I pleaded for him to understand my words - my promise to him. “I will never hide this baby from you Logan or stop you from having a relationship. I-I will not run or hide, the café I brought purposely so I could not move - so I could be close in case you ever decided you did want the baby. I haven’t always made the best choices and as much sorting out as I’ve done over these past seven months, my head and my heart still need a lot of work. I’ve been seeing a counsellor twice a week, which helps tremendously. I have had no relationship, physical or emotional, with anybody…”
Just then, a knock at the door interrupts us.
“Hold on,” he says as he grips my forearm before walking off.
I drag myself inside to the couch, something about being on that veranda and talking doesn’t feel right. The memories or the bad thoughts can’t be washed away by a beautiful view. I felt deflated at being interrupted during an honest and open conversation but I refused to let that derail me.
“Here.” He puts down the pizza boxes on the coffee table and goes to fetch the wine, “red or white?” He calls from the bar.
“Neither,” I reply shortly, “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh, sorry I didn’t think,” he pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. “Okay, juice? Tea? Milk? Water? Aloe Water?” His fluster was heartwarming and I found myself smiling.
“Water is fine, thank you.”
We spent time eating, both in our own heads while I absentmindedly circle my belly with my palm. I catch his avid scrutiny out the corner of his eye as his forehead adorned deep lines and a furrowed brow.
I cleared my throat, “I don’t think you ordered enough?” I teased and dipped my head toward the four pizza boxes.
He laughs, “I didn’t know what you felt like, aren’t you supposed to be eating for two?”
“Two no… same as before really, I just get cravings for things.”
“What kind of cravings?” He turns in his seat to face me.
“Um… nothing like I’d hoped, I was really gunning for something like pickles dipped in peanut butter, smothered in tuna but alas, I get stuck with bottled water and kebabs - donar kebab with sour cream, cheese, pineapple and lettuce only. Nothing else. Amber tried to add tomato and tabouli in there once, I didn’t speak to her until she walked back and got a fresh one,” I replied, grinning crazily at the memory.
“Jesus, I’ll be sure to remember that,” he encases my hand in his, “and who’s Amber?”
“Oh… ah… she’s like… I guess my store manager. She has a thing for Pierre, although he’s roughly about fifteen years her senior, she doesn’t mind though,” he entwines our fingers.
“He said he came to see you.”
“He did. Though the meeting was accidental, he actually just came in for coffee not knowing who’s place it was and as you can imagine his shock...”
“I was shocked too, especially after the… oh, at a guess I’d say… the tenth serve, he’s given me since that day.” He looks down ashamed as I palm my forehead.
“He gave me some very stellar advice that day. It was comforting.” My eyes wander over Logan’s face, “he’s not forgiven me, I understand why but he was willing to help me that day - out of love for you and the love he knows a child can bring. He seems like a sleazy uncle and then suddenly, he becomes the voice of reason and responsibility.”
“I know, it’s so irritating,” we both chuckled.
“What do you want Logan? Time? Space? Just to be apart of the baby but not with me?” I had no right to demand that answer from him and yet, I had too. This baby was coming and I had to prepare myself for what was happening between us.
I was already attached to him, so mentally I was screwed but if I could understand what was going to happen after the birth? Then I guess I could learn to live with my feelings - get used to the idea of us never being together again.
“I don’t know,” he huffed before trailing a burning gaze down and resting on my stomach. “But I think we should date, go on dates like we should have done from the beginning, start again?”
“Is that really what you want? To date?”
I watched his hand reach out and touch my belly as salty liquid gathered in my eyes, his hand moved in a circular motion. “I’m still in love with you Arabella, even more so now, I can’t let you go, as terrified as I am that you will run off and hide - I can’t help the way I feel.”
His admission had me floored, my heart had stopped beating, palms became instantly sweaty, my breath caught in my throat while my mouth gaped like a fish - I needed him.
He stood up and pulling me to, god, I wish I had of been graceful. We walked hand in hand up the stairs, the silence had me nervously shaking as I followed without hesitation, all the way into his bedroom.
I guided her through the bedroom doorway, her lack of resistance was reassuring and I felt a surge of renewed energy.
“The thing I missed most about you, was having you in my arms at night, holding you, smelling your perfume on my pillows, it became like torture coming home to an empty house. You had filled every bit of emptiness with such light and laughter, I had considered selling the house because you were no longer here.”
Her eyes glued to mine with such sadness and guilt, “oh god Logan, I’m so sorry…” I placed my forefinger on her soft and supple lips.
“Shh, it’s okay, I just needed you to know.” My thumb traced the outline of her mouth remembering what it felt like to have my cock sliding in and out of it. Slowly, I lean forward, closing the gap between us and gently brush my lips against hers, observing how her eyes closed.
Pulling back, a lonely tear rolls down her cheek and I softly collect it as she lightly trembles under my touch. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re uncomfortable with it, Arabella?” I offered.
“It’s not that Logan,” her hazel eyes meet mine with a flurry of burning desire, “I want this more than anything but my body doesn’t look the same as it did,” she admitted, rather embarrassed.
“No, it’s not. It’s even more beautiful than before.” She smashes our lips together expeditiously as our tongues battle to claim the other, my cock had not been this hard since before she left months ago and was eager to slide back into its home. The only place he ever truly loved.
Roughly grabbing the hem of her shirt, I lifted it up and over her head, my lips laying claim to her neck and trailing down and along her collarbone. My hands cup her fuller breasts as she moans, squeezing my shoulders. She pushes me back and rips open my shirt, the buttons fly across the room in every direction, surprise evident on my face and hers. That was hot.
I connected our lips once more as our hands heatedly explore each other’s bodies while I fumbled with the clasp on the back of her bra as she giggles against my lips. “It’s on the front,” she whispers.
Groaning, I internally kick myself and slide my fingertips along the material, unclasping and releasing her fleshy mounds from their fabric prison. Pulling back, I gazed upon her bountiful breasts, “god, you’re beautiful.” I sucked in air sharply as the pads of my thumbs rolled over and around her perky pink nipples, making them erect under my manipulation.
My wet hot mouth encloses her left bud and my tongue circles causing pleasurable moans to escape from her throat. By now, my cock was twitching with need and couldn’t take being trapped any longer. I reached down and unhooked myself, letting my pants fall to the floor along with my boxers.
Arabella gripped my cheeks in her hands, “let me taste you, Logan,” before moving me to sit on the bed. She lowered her pants and panties and slid onto her knees, in between my legs. Her delicate hands gripped tightly around my wide girth and began to massage up and down as I flopped back onto the bed. Her tongue circled the head and licked my slit, collecting my juice on the way before engulfing me fully, hitting the back of her throat and then sliding back.
The repetitive motion bringing me closer and closer, I couldn’t take much more. Her deadly but mind-blowing assault on my shaft had my cock expanding and I go to sit up, she pushes my abdomen back forcing me to relax back into the bed. Stroke after stroke before I swelled.
“Fuck,” I hissed, releasing my seed down her throat. She swallows the lot, even stilling as not to interrupt the sensitive flow.
I gripped her arms and moved her to all fours on the bed. Her ass high in the air, I licked softly and painstakingly slow - I knew how she hated that because it builds her lust for me beyond boiling point. My face buried deep within her cunt while she whimpered and squirmed with pleasure, gasping every time my tongue dove into her hole and circled. My thumb rubbing against her clit as I slid in two fingers, deftly pumping her, reaching closer to gratification. I felt her walls clenching around my fingers.
“Oh. my. god. Logan,” she explodes with the loudest cry of absolute satisfaction.
Thank god my soldier is at full attention, while her body rides out the waves of her orgasm, I slam into her, drawing a gasp from her shattering oblivion and a relieved groan from me. God, I missed this tight cave of pure bliss.
I pumped hard and fast, my hips slapping against her as the skin moistens with sweat.
“Don’t run from me again Arabella,” I grunt through gritted teeth. “Say it, say you won’t run.”
“I won’t run... I won’t run,” she mewls while I slam into her again and again.
Her inner muscles gripping tightly around my dick, my hands clutch harder around her hips, leaving red finger imprints as I relentlessly smashed into her from behind. I could feel just how close I am but she stops us, “I need to see you, Logan,” she pleads.
“Am I too rough?” I question worriedly.
“No,” she smiles, flipping over.
I re-enter her, this time more gently, pulling back so as not to hurt the baby. My thumb once again circling her clit as she tweaks her nipples.
“God, I missed you,” she moans, “I missed you so much,” hearing her is more than I can handle and with her walls clenching hard, I had arrived at my peak.
“Come for me, Arabella… Come for… I love yyyoooouuuuu.” I moaned, releasing as she soundlessly mewls, creaming my exploding cock with her orgasm.
I flopped onto the bed beside her as she shifts onto her side facing me. “I love you so much,” she whispers and I lean over, covered in sweat, struggling for breath and peck her lips.
“I love you but that doesn’t count as a date. Tomorrow night I’m taking you out.”
We snuggle into each other a fall asleep.