Chapter 20 – Parenthood
Parenting was not a natural process for us, in fact, we struggled to find our footing, desperate to make it seem natural just like the books. Dante suffered colic and sleeping for him was non-existent… I felt like a walking zombie, milk station, that existed just to feed, change, bathe and rock him. The movies had made it all appear so wonderful but in truth, it was hard, and I mentally noted to call out Hollywood for being such liars.
I felt like, I no longer existed as a human and despite Logan’s best efforts, I was terrified I was failing as his mother, as a partner and as a woman. The judgement in my own mind was devastating.
My unconditional love for Dante was still there, strong as ever but as I wandered around the shops one day, I noticed just how well adjusted, these ‘super mums’ that surrounded me were. The five minutes of peace I managed to steal for myself was used up by showering but that happened only when Logan came back from work. My womanly sexiness had taken a huge belting, feeling more like a troll that hovered under a bridge, than an actual human. As I rocked him in the chair with vomit on my shoulder, greasy hair and bags under my eyes, I longed to be better than what I had become, I was bordering depression and it was slowly sucking the life from my eyes.
“Baby?” Logan sang out, I kept silent not wanting to wake Dante.
I had not managed to achieve anything today, no dishes, no washing and definitely no shower. I stunk and I wanted to cry, the thought of him seeing me this hideous was embarrassing but there was nothing I could do.
“Baby are you in here?” he found me rocking, my eyes barely able to stay open, “oh Arabella,” he took Dante and placed him into his cot, the look of pity plastered across his face was crippling.
“Get yourself in the shower and off to bed, you need sleep,” he ordered.
“I’m sorry babe, I haven’t managed to do anything today… Everything’s a mess and I’m failing as a mother,” my facial features carried a distraught mask as I hid my sadness.
“Listen to me, this is all learning for us, do not get upset over the fact that you do not have all the answers. you will find your way,” he was always so encouraging.
“But I feel so useless, it was meant to be easy, natural but Dante has trouble sleeping, I can’t time manage anything, women at the shops seem to be so well put together and in control and I’m here looking like death with spit up on my clothes and ratty hair.” I palmed my forehead desperately seeking a solution to my predicament, trying to not hyperventilate.
“Look, this is our first child, I’m busy working on a massive deal and can’t be here as much as I want,” he knelt down in front of me holding my hands in his. “I know you enough, to not, offer to hire anyone to help clean, I know that you will find your rhythm, it just takes time. Dante is a very demanding baby, but hey, as soon as this deal is done, I will take a few days off and we can work on a routine together. For now, go shower and sleep, I’ll take it from here babe, okay? It’s Friday, there’s no work for the next two days.”
I looked at my knight in a navy blue suit and smiled, “okay.”
“Good,” he nodded and strode out of Dante’s bedroom.
I headed towards the bathroom, looking over my appearance in the mirror. I was worn out - haggard and sad - I began to pull my skin tight with my fingers, wondering, where my youth had suddenly gone - I definitely needed to get out of the house before I went crazy, but first, a shower and sleep.
Waking up the following morning, my breasts were aching and so full. The rocks that had formed on my chest needed relief and I began to panic, what the hell did Dante eat while I was passed out?
I rushed to the kitchen where I found Logan in a pair of blue boxers, his dishevelled hair and tired golden eyes gave away that he had sacrificed his night for me to rest. God, this man was Incredible.
“What happened?” I questioned as he smiled softly at me.
“I wanted you to rest, so I took our boy down to get formula and he’s been drinking that all night. Honestly babe, why didn’t you share what you were going through? I’ve had him for one night and I’m exhausted, how have you been doing this for months?” He handed me, Dante, kissing my temple. “We made you some pancakes, I need to sleep.” I giggled as he dragged his feet to the bedroom. What a remarkable father Dante had.
It had been six months since Dante was born, Amber had been running the, Read ‘n’ Feed, the whole time and I was proud of her, especially since she and Pierre were still together. I opened the door and walked in, pushing the pram, the aroma of coffee beans and cakes worked their way through my nostrils and swirled delightfully at the back of my throat.
“Hey Arabella,” Ambers sweet voice drifted across my ears, “DJ, my little man, come to aunty Aims.” Pierre and Amber had shortened Dante James to DJ and secretly, I adored the nickname of endearment.
“You’ve been working all day, are you sure you’re alright to have him?” I queried.
“Would you stop, of course, we are. There’s no need to worry! You just go enjoy your evening with Logan.” I was so thankful for Amber, she had become my friend rather than just an employee, it had been so long since I had a true friend and I loved it.
“Thank you, Amber.”
“Stop Bells would you,” the nickname Pierre gave me had obviously rubbed off.
Kissing Dante goodbye and fretting over the fact that I was going to spend the whole night, not just a few hours, but a whole night away from our son was daunting. I contemplated several times about turning around and going back to collect him but since his birth, Logan and I had forgotten ourselves. Sex was non-existent and although there clearly was love there, our connection was falling at the waist side. I couldn’t go through another broken relationship, not with him - Logan was my everything and we needed to be reminded of us. He never complained, he never pushed and when he could, he would cuddle in but I wanted him, I missed him, I missed our ‘quality time’ and I definitely missed him between my legs.
I sat there nervously waiting in a black satin negligee that just covered my ass. Soft candlelight danced across our dining room table that held his favourite roast lamb. My makeup was light with ruby red lips that matched my ruby red heels. My long brown hair was slightly curled at the ends and it hung nicely down my back.
“Arabella, are you home? It’s so dark in here,” my insides churned with excitement.
“Here baby,” his eyes lit up seeing me leaning against the table, holding his plate of roast in my hands.
“Where’s Dante?” He purred while loosening his tie.
“With Amber and Pierre tonight,” I replied not breaking eye contact as he shucked off his jacket.
“The whole night?” He arched his brow.
“Yes,” I breathed, my thighs pressing together tightly, trying not to juice up too much in anticipation.
“You look, incredible baby,” he whispered, moving closer.
“I made you your favourite,” his lips were so close to mine as his hands cupped my face. “You smell divine,” his strong scent invaded my senses as he breathed my scent in. “Let me feed you,” I smiled moving out of his hands.
“I’m not hungry for that Arabella,” he warned. I placed his plate down in front of his chair, slightly bending over and pushing out my rare, I hear him groan and feel his hands on my hips. “You’re teasing me, baby,” his long wet tongue runs along the curve in my neck as his right-hand snakes around and under my negligee.
His talented fingers find my naked pussy and begin to circle as his feather-light kisses softly graze against my neck. My pelvis began to push into his hand as I leant back against his shoulder.
“God, I missed you,” I moaned out as his hand enters in the top, twisting my nipple with his fingers.
“I may demand you wear this every night I come home,” his breath fanning my cheek before brushing his lips lightly against me.
He spins me around and crashes his voluptuous lips into mine, our tongues tasting each other hungrily and full of sexual desire. Fighting for dominance as our hands roamed each other’s bodies greedily. It had been six long challenging months since I feasted on the man I love, six months of feeling nothing like a woman and six months I felt disconnected from Logan. Tonight, I planned on getting fucked so good that it would erase the past six months of nothing.
He leans me back on the table, unfazed by the food that lay atop of it, his fingertips ran across my deliciously saturated flaps desperate to be tasted. He knelt down and melted me with long strokes of his tongue against my heated core. His fingers pounding into my hole with his tip flicking at my clit pushing me closer to my orgasm.
He threw my legs over his shoulders and my fingertips slipped through his hair as I ground against his face and fingers.
“Ooohhh god, Logan,” I groaned out releasing all over him.
He moved forward wrapping his long fingers around the back of my neck capturing my lips once more, my cum freshly sprayed over his mouth. I tasted my juices with frivolity, desperately excited to continue our reconnection.
I kicked off my heels and pushed Logan back against the breakfast bar, pulling down his suit pants hungrily, I released his giant cock and it springs to life. With hooded eyes, I moan at the sight of his gorgeous manhood.
My tongue circling the head of his penis, my hand gripped securely around his tight shaft, I pumped up and down, finally stilling at his base and squeezing, clenching, as my mouth swallowed him whole, hitting the back of my throat, ignoring the gag, I continued my assault on his tasty member, reaching between my thighs collecting reminisce of my own pleasure puddle, I swiped my orgasm all over his asshole while continuing to swallow his delicious cock.
“Aaaarrraaaabbbbeellllaaaa,” Logan grunted and groaned, attempting not to fall apart right then and there.
My fingers circle before entering his back hole, he swells within my mouth. “FFFuuuuucccckkkkk.” He shoots his hot sticky seed down my throat which had my vagina dripping with heady need.
He moved me up, kissing me deeply again, lifting the hem of my negligee up over my head and capturing my taut perky nipple in his hot cavern. Swirling with his tongue, my knees weakened as he licked, circled and grazed my hard buds.
He placed my palms on the backrest, leaning against the couch, I felt his chest against my back. “Fuck, you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen,” he announced appreciatively against my skin, goosebumps rippling across the surface as he teased, trailing his twitching cock atop of my ass crack, my back arching as his hands rolled my nipples.
“Fuck me, baby, I want your cock,” I begged, pushing into him, attempting to slide him inside of me.
“I’ve wanted your tight pussy around me for months,” his long wet tongue licking up my spine.
“My pussy has been aching for your hard cock baby, I missed it so much,” he grunts while the head of his penis pushes in my hole.
“Ooohhh,” we both moaned as he entered.
His thrusts were soft and gentle at first but soon he quickened, pounding harder and harder, slamming into me as my loose tits flopped around below me. Thrust after thrust as he ground his cock deeper, skin slapping against me, his fingertips clawing at my hips, indenting the soft skin.
I cried out in pleasure as ecstasy ravished my very being.
The sound of his hand landing on my butt cheek echoed through the room, buckling my knees but he righted me by lifting me back into position.
“Again,” I cried out, to which thankfully, he followed through on.
He pounded again and again as my groans of pleasure became incoherent mumbles of ecstasy, he reached forward grasping a fistful of locks and pulling back hard, fucking me deeper, he wrapped my leg around his waist backwards and rubbed my clit, all while still being bent forward.
Without warning, waves of pleasure crashed over my body, shaking me to my core as my walls tightened around his mega manhood buried deep.
“Fuck me, Arabella,” Logan moans, filling me with his glorious cum.
We flopped onto the couch heaving for air, sprinkled in sweat and holding each other completely naked. He moved forward kissing me once more.
“I love you, Arabella,” he whispered against my smudged lips.
“I love you, Logan.”