Chapter 15: Ms. Me
“Hey, you’re probably asleep.Uhh-- I wanted to see you.”
“I just hoped you’re still up,” Lucas’s voice spoke again on a machine.
Thorin hugged her knees closer to her chests as she listens to his voicemail. Biting her lower lips as she tries to hush her little muscle inside its cage who seems to want to escape. He’s been calling and texting her non-stop since her petty outburst.
She wished through her outburst, he would finally blow out and speak his mind that she’s been trying to crack. The outburst, though, was unnecessary. They could talk, yes, but they haven’t until hours ago.
The demand of her work was too much to bare. It’s taking a toll on her. She sometimes loses her composure because of stress, deeming her unfit for the position according to the board of directors. Any minute leak would be used against her fall. And his brother would immediately replace her when that happens. If that happens.
She dryly laughs at that thought. She’s been dreaming about this position since she was a child, there’s no way anyone could take it away.
Maybe this is not the time to want a relationship with someone. Maybe this is a sign that it’s not the risk to take. Truth is, she never thought of being committed to someone until Lucas. It made her wonder what it was like to have him around her or his house 24/7. It amazes her how in months her views on relationship shifted. She wants another commitment, rather that her work for the first time.
At twenty-seven, some of her friends already been married and had a family, some had been in a relationship for years. This made her think about her past relationship who she never seemed fully committed to. At least she has two official relationships who lasted around 5 to 6 months. She cringed at that reminder.
Yes, she dated a lot. Each guy she hand picked would at least get two dates and that’s about it.
And she knew she would always be single. The cycle keeps on until Lucas.
She never felt empty and bored when she’s around him. Though he’s awfully quiet all the time, the mere eye rolls, the simple gesture as he opens the door for her and any lady within the perimeter much to her dismay.
The way he interacts with his brother and mother. The way his eyes crinkle as he laughs at her. The way how he subtly calms her down by making her coffee, buying her favorite ice cream flavor every time with little notes on them. He was consistent with these little things even though she was in her beast mode and no one would dare to be near her.
Hell, even the way he adjusted his eyeglasses ignites something she never knew existed within her own interior. It aroused all sense that buried within her.
However, who would want to be with her anyway? She’s never been nice to anyone except to those who she trusts and close to her. She never had the best personality towards everybody. She was mean with reasons, sometimes. She believed no one would put after her attitude. Her future in laws would frown upon her.
“Does he even likes me?” Sighing again and gazing over the night view of the city on her couch that he dragged towards a floor to ceiling window of her living room. She pondered over her behavior and conversation that has transpired hours ago, again. Over and over again.
She made a fool out of herself. She made a mistake. Replaying every word she spilled on him. She groans and reaches a handful of marshmallows and shove it inside her mouth.
“Me again, please open the door? Yes, I know I had the code, but it’s late and you wouldn’t want me to barge in your privacy.”
Upon hearing his voice again, Thorin hastily grabs the marshmallow container and ejected the marshmallows from her mouth. She rose from the couch, slipping on her slippers and dash off to the door.
She was about to unlock the door when she remembers that she needs to compose herself. Combing her locks with her fingers, palming the wrinkles of her white VS short sleeve knit pj. She looks down at herself, “Shit, I look too eager! Wait? Why would I? We were fighting --”
Her doorbell buzzed non-stop. She puffs out air as she unlocked her door. Mentally rehearsing what she’s going to say. There stood the man she’s has been thinking of. Thorin glances up and meet his gaze. Locks disheveled, contact lenses instead of eyeglasses, and amber orbs determined for a quest.
“Hi,” his lopsided smile dazzled outside the dimly lit and eerie corridor. Thorin slowly let out a few breaths, she didn’t know she was holding.
Clenching her jaw to stop herself from smiling back. “Didn’t-- didn’t I say I don’t want to see you?” Thorin prompts as she tries to subtlety check him out.
Clad in black jacket with a plain white shirt underneath, regular-fit jeans in indigo stretch denim. He was lazily holding his slick black helmet on his right and as he stands fully, looking down on her.
He looked so good, like always. He’s oblivious that he is lethal for women, like always. He’s just that delectable and he doesn’t even know it. Too modest, too humble, too nice. He’s infuriating sometimes and he’s charming like that.
“You said, you don’t want to see me-- tomorrow. There’s still less than two hours before tomorrow, Ms. Montréal,” his husky voices wake her up from her lustful thoughts.
Thorin stepped out into the corridor and closes her door, Lucas took a step back. Maintaining a decent distance between them, she crosses her arms over her chest, “State your purpose, Mr. Sullivan.”
Lucas bites his lower lip and Thorin can’t help but mimic the action. Puffing out air, Lucas maintained an eye contact, “I’m sorry.”
Thorin was taken aback, appalled by his purpose, “ You came to see me for that?”
“Yes. I’m sorry. I’m here to apologize and explain myself.” His sincerity pierced through her heart, tugging her heartstrings, sending jolts within her chest, as if someone was trying to revive her.
She didn’t really know what to do after receiving an apology. No one ever said sorry to her, and she never said back.
“Oh. Okay.” She knew she sucked at a few things, and this would be one of the few. This was the evidence. Right here, right now. She knew she’s ruining the momentum.
“I’m sorry. I was inconsiderate about your feelings.”
She was mentally berating herself for being stupid about how to handle this type of communication. Trying to maintain her composure in front of him, “Anything else?”
He sighs, puffing out air every now and then as he tried to divert his gaze on her, “Well uhm- - I need to explain so please listen before you conclude anything else okay?”
“I’ll try, but you should know that I do not give second chances,” her ringing voice was heard and Lucas nodded. He knew of that very well.
With another sigh, he edge closer and held her gaze, “I’m sorry, for being repulsive. I’m sorry for being quiet about my feelings. Truth is, I’m a coward. I’m a coward for not answering you back when you ask questions. And when you said you liked me, and the kiss, I knew I wanted you. Yes, I anticipated that you would say no.”
Biting her lower lip, she watches Lucas unfold himself in front of her. Vulnerable and real, she’s seen his soul pouring out his emotions through words. Her heart drummed as she listens more.
“I-- I wanted you to say that because I know I don’t deserve you, maybe -- maybe I won’t be the right man for you. You deserve a man who will give you the universe all the things that you wanted, Thorin,” she saw his eyes clouded with unshed tears. She wanted to wipe it out, but she can’t seem to move, “And- - -and I’m not that. But I wanted to be that. I wanted to be the right guy for you, I will work hard to be the right one for you.”
Her eyes glistened with tears, she never was a crier. She rarely cries, but his words streaking through her being. She remembers her grandmother’s words. Her granny has always said, “the only man who deserves you, is the one who thinks he doesn’t”
Lo and behold, the man who’s standing in front of her is the man. She mentally noted as she thinks of her grandma during this moment.
“You deserve better, I’ll be better Ms. Montréal.” She can’t seem to form a reply, a decent sentence to say. Instead, she edge closer and wrapped her arms around his waist pulling him closer. Burying her face on his chest as she unapologetically whimpered. She can’t point out the reasons why she let her tears flow.
She felt almost all of the emotions a human can take. She can’t utter what exactly her feeling at this moment. Needless, she felt special. Her heart beats erratically, however, it looks like she’s not the only one.
Lucas embraced her in return, chaste kisses on the top of her hair, feeling fuzziness within her she glances up. Meeting those glowing amber, creasing his forehead as he says to her, “I probably made this worse because you’re crying.”
Realizing she probably looked like a deranged woman, she untangles herself from him. “That’s just sweat,” wiping her tears through the back of her hands.
She heard a thud on the floor, before she could look for it, his thumbs were wiping her tears. She stays rooted, she studies his face full of worry. She reached for his hands to stop him with a beam, “I’m good.” as she releases his hands.
Lucas puffs out air, like he has been holding it for a while, “With that being said, thank you for listening and good night Ms. Montréal.” Bending down as he lifted his helmet from the floor and step back away from her.
“Wait!” Her words echoed through the walls. “Is that it?! You made me cry!”
“Thought it was sweat?” Lucas took another step as he suppressed a smile. Thorin took a step closer, staring at him intensely as she crosses her arms, “Ugh! You’re provoking me again!”
Lucas froze and straightened his spine, clearing his throat, “Not really, I’m stating facts here Ms. Montréal. One, no second chances. I understood that. Two, you said you’re sweating. Three, I bid you Goodnight--” before he could finish, Thorin grabbed the collar of his jacket with both hands and tiptoes. She closed her eyes and put her lips on his.
To her surprise, Lucas responded as he sucked on her lower lip, reveled in the gasp she couldn’t stop. A thud broke again, helmet on the floor.
His arms engulfed her waist as he pulled her gently up, stretched out side by side, her legs lifted over his hip. Holding her tight, her arms buckled around his neck for support as his mouth open over hers. Hunger is pouring out of him, engulfing her with heat. Pleasure shot through her core, arousing her.
The overpowering kiss were cut short by Lucas as he pulled out, blinking his eyes -- recovering his senses, “Not here, love.”
Gaping at him, Thorin blinked a few times and smiled, “Bedroom then?”
Lucas reached over and kisses her forehead.
“I can’t believe you. Look at me! Five minutes to dress up!” Thorin stumps as she looks down at her five minutes made outfit.
Never in her entire life, dressing within five minutes. More like five seconds because Lucas counted. She didn’t even had make up on! He doesn’t seem to mind her without make up. And she’s comfortable in her own skin whenever he’s around her.
She was too excited to think over it, she immediately picked out her hands could reach. She could have put more effort than a plain white bodycon dress underneath a denim jacket. This is their first date after all. An impromptu date, late at night.
“Told you that you should’ve covered your pjs with a trench coat. Lest you have your favorite heels on. Nonetheless, you’re always beautiful,” Lucas laced his fingers with hers as they walk side by side. She was all smiles as she glances up at him, bounces up as they walk, placing a chaste kiss on his jaw.
Later on as they walk slowly, side by side her heels clicking against the tile floor of a famous museum in the city. Viewing every painting hanged against the wall. Hand in hand, Thorin gaze up at him, “How’s your mom?”
This was an atypical for Thorin. She never experienced something close to this before. Walking. Strolling around a museum late at night. Hand in hand. Talking. Red wine in hand, provided by the staff. Before they could even step into the vicinity Lucas warned her that when she decided to hate the place, no questions asked, just slap him and they would ditch the place immediately.
“She’s good. She’s been asking about you lately though,” Lucas said chuckling.
“Does she likes me though?” She asked meekly as she tries to distract herself by looking at the painting. She did not hear any answers from him, twirling her head to the side she found him. Five steps away from her, phone held up in the air. Lucas immediately hides his phone back in his pocket and jogged towards her, “What were you doing?”
“Sorry, I took a photo. Should’ve brought my camera, but since this was unplanned-- thought I could sneak in a few.” Lucas waggles his eyebrows. Thorin scoffs, awed by him, “You should’ve said so, I could totally pose like a model!”
Lucas snickers and place a quick kiss on her forehead, “To answer your question a while ago, mi signora, let’s presume that she likes you. She probably knew you already though.”
Lucas probably realizes what he just said he froze, but Thorin caught up, “Oh yeah, we’re from the same town! You did not even disclose that with me!”
“Found a bench,” Lucas held her wrist and drag her gently. They were seated comfortably with a comfortable silence between them facing a well illuminated painting. Thorin stretched out her legs, it was a good thing he found a bench. He probably knew her feet were now hurting, she can’t stop beaming at that thought.
“I didn’t receive any slap from you huh? You’re not bored then,” Lucas leaned closer, smiling at her as he drape his right arm around her. Thorin leaned in, resting her head on his shoulders and sigh.
So far in a hour, she’s good and elated. If it was her and someone she would probably pour the wine within five minutes on her date out of boredom. But she is with Lucas, they were enjoying.
She is enjoying, his company, just being with him. She would probably gone euphoric if they’re stuck on a deserted island. They were learning a lot from each other, they have too many differences but it doesn’t bother her nor him.
She was overjoyed tonight. Her emotions were elated, so much so that her cheeks hurts from smiling. She actually enjoyed the ambiance of the museum. There were a few couples who also strolling within the vicinity.
Back then, she did not even entertain that thought of dating in a museum. Wine and dine bored her to death, but it was her idea of what dating supposedly is.
“It’s my first time to visit this museum actually, thanks,” placing a chaste kiss on his jaw. “So, Mr. Sullivan, how many girls you’ve taken here before?”
“One,” Thorin lifted her head and gape at him incredulously. How dare he tell her about his ex during their first night together?! “Do you want to know her?” Lucas inquires, looking down as if he was getting something.
She gasped, “Don’t tell me you’ve been keeping her picture in your pocket! I swear to God--”
“In my phone too, actually,” Thorin gasped louder. She must’ve been foolish to think about this date! It was going so well--
“Here, take a look,” Lucas urge as he placed his phone on her hands. Her eyebrows rose up as she scrutinized him.
“Are you serious?!” Her lips shivered as she let out her question. Lucas nods so casually, encouraging her. She heard her slow paced, heart beat accelerate.
“I wanted be honest with you, love.” With shaking hands, there were no pass code so unlocking his phone was a breeze. She directly taps the gallery icon with one and only one photo stored. A photo that was taken a while ago.