We sit silently in his car as Damon drives us to our next destination. He knew I was uncomfortable eating when Silas and Pam in the room, so he suggested we leave before ordering food.
I have no idea what he has planned next, but I really hope it involves food. I haven’t eaten since lunch and all I can think about right now besides Silas is scarfing down an entire large meat lover’s pizza.
I peep over to see a relaxed expression on his face. His bright green eyes scan the road as we make our way through the traffic. His lips are slightly parted and I study their shape and color. He’s so good looking, I can’t turn away.
“What is it?” he asks me without turning away from the road.
“Huh?” I ask, deer in the headlights.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Why are you so handsome?” I don’t hold back my honesty. After all, it could distract me from a harsher truth I don’t want to face right now.
We stop at a red light and he finally looks over to me with amused eyes. “You think I’m handsome?”
“Oh, don’t play innocent! You know exactly how good looking you are,” I roll my eyes.
“Is it the button down? I don’t usually dress like this…” He glances down at his clothes, which make him look more mature. I like it.
“I remember a while back when we were studying after school, I kept wondering if you were human and I-”
He laughs out loud, cutting me off, and yells, “Thank you!”
I laugh along with him, sucked into the contagion of his joy.
We turn into the parking lot of a church and I raise an eyebrow at him. Unable to see my questioning look, he remains quiet as we approach a fenced event. Parking by the entrance in a spot that we luckily found as someone else left, he turns to me and informs me, “So this church has these festivals annually and this year they added a petting zoo.”
He watches as my face lights up and laughs at my wide, excited eyes.
“Well, what are we waiting for? LET’S GO!” I jump out of the vehicle and giggle in jubilance.
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and I look into his eyes with elation in mine before I lean my head onto his shoulder. We walk blissfully into the busy event and head for the largest tent with different animals behind it.
Under the large white tent, there were two alpacas, several pigs, at least five goats, and even a few sheep. I immediately approach one of the alpacas, which just looked bored as it chewed on something with its mouth closed. I reach my hand over and pet the back of its head, holding back a joyful squeal.
I feel Damon right behind me, his heated chest warming my back. He reaches his arm over to pet the alpaca as well and I turn up to look at him just as he turns down to look at me. We share a smile and everything feels perfect.
A pig comes up to my feet and I bend down to pet it.
“You can pick him up if you’d like. His name is Squishy,” tells the overseer.
“Oh my god, Damon, his name is SQUISHY,” I pick up the tiny pig and hold him near my face. Damon laughs as he pulls out his phone and snaps a photo. “Wait! Take another one,” I command as I pose with Squishy, kissing him on the cheek.
After quite a bit of petting, I come back to Damon and tug on his sleeve, “I’m hungry, want to get food?”
“Oh, thank you for finally asking. I thought I was the only one,” he groans as he rubs his belly. I smile at his response and pat his belly before we both head out to another tent.
“Want to share a glazed donut triple cheeseburger?” He points at a massive picture of a pile of grease with meat and dough.
“That sounds gross,” I say with no expression.
“So… no?” He studies my face, but I give nothing away.
“So, yes,” I finally decide and I could see the smile that reaches his lips.
We finish the burger, feeling guilty about our own diets. I stare at him with his greasy lips and I laugh as I pull a napkin up to wipe it away.
“And what if I like having shiny lips from the grease,” he teases as I finish wiping his lips.
“Well then, it’s too late for you,” I fold the napkin I just used on him and place it on the empty paper plate, “See? All gone.”
Suddenly he leans over and kisses me on the lips, just briefly, leaving me speechless and wide-eyed.
“Got some more if you want to wipe it again,” he points at his lips, which now wear a wider smile.
After eating, we decide to walk off the million calories we had just consumed. As we walk by a jewelry stand, I stare at the colorful necklace charms displayed at the very front.
“Do you want one,” Damon asks me as I study the different designs, particularly the golden set, which have more intricate styles than the rest, due to the monochromaticity.
I shake my head, “No, I just want to look.” I bend down to look closely at each and he does the same. I turn over to see his eyes on the golden set as well, and he smiles as he sees me peer at him. Finally, he straightens his back and lifts a finger to call up a worker. An older lady in a pretty floral dress and thick rimmed glasses comes up to us.
“Hi, can I see that one, there?” He points at a piece in the golden set- the sun -and as he finally held it in his hand, I see why he chose that one.
It’s definitely the more detailed on of all, with the design of a sunflower, but clearly representing the sun more than the flower. The little petals are wavy and the dark night sky can’t mask the brightness of the gold.
“I’ll take this one.”
I tilt my head and he smiles back at me as he puts the charm on a chain and puts it on me. “You didn’t have to get me this.”
“I wanted to. This one is perfect for you,” he tells me softly as he lifts the piece from my chest to look at it again.
“Really, why?” I tilt my head down to look at it.
“Because you’re the reason I look forward to my days, the sunshine to my meadow,” he speaks with soft eyes. I meet his gaze and I’m suddenly lost in his presence. I feel a smile on my lips as I get onto my toes to quickly kiss him on the lips.
When I pull away, he stares at me with surprise and I start to blush, realizing the worker was still standing near us to hear what he had said and see what I had done.
“Last ride of the night!” We here the worker on the ferris wheel yell to attract the last of his customers for the night.
“Want to go on there?” Damon looks to me expectantly. I shrug and then nod my head.
He holds my hand to steady me as I climb into the seat. Climbing in next to me, he keeps his warm hand wrapped around mine and I find myself staring at it.
“Are you comfy,” he asks and I nod. He dazzles me with his smile as he transfers my hand into his other one and wraps his arm around me. “You look beautiful today, Tammy. I’m happiest with you,” he whispers as he kisses the top of my head.
We get lifted into the sky and I pull away to look out at everything beneath us. When I turn back to face him, he was already staring at me with those soft greens.
“I think I might love you, Tammy,” he breathes.
His eyes widen as mine do the same, like he just realized what he has said. Without haste, I lean in and kiss him. We kiss and kiss and I feel like we’re floating alone in this universe.
In the midst of the silent night air, surrounded by twinkling stars and pale moonlight, we hold onto each other as we give into a passion that I had long muted for him. Now it’s finally bursted out of its shell and taken control of my hands, which grab at his chest, and my lips, which graze his desperately.
His hands hold my face and he pulls back to look into my eyes. He looks at me like I’m something to cherish, and within his arms, I feel safest. He’s gone through so much to reach this moment, even letting me go at one point for the sake of my own happiness. I know that he’s the right choice and I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.
I pull on his shirt and we fall back into our kiss again. This time it’s rougher, like we can’t seem to get close enough. My hands run up to his chest underneath his shirt and I feel him shiver from my touch. His hand pulls me closer at my waist while his other hand runs along the side of my thigh.
We pull away, finally, with barely any air left in our lungs. We pant and smile at each other before he pulls me into his chest and murmurs, “You’re precious to me.”
I relax into his arms, fitting my head into the crook of his neck.
Who knew being loved could be this simple?
As all the rides start closing down, Damon and I leave to head home. Throughout the whole car ride, he keeps his hand wrapped around mine and as I occasionally squeeze his hand, he would pull mine up to kiss it. The grins on our faces only loosen as we sing along to the songs playing on the radio. He’s an awful singer, so I laugh as he tries to hit the high notes.
When we arrive in front of my place, he jogs around to open my door and offer me his hand. I place my hand in his and he kisses it, leaving me blushing as I giggle.
Then, he suddenly pulls me closer and wraps his other hand around my waist. He leans down and kisses me until my knees grow weak and my stomach flips. Finally pulling back a few inches, he gazes into my eyes and whispers, “Goodnight, Tammy.”
I hold back the gasp that bubbles in my throat as I lose myself in his loving eyes. I just nod stupidly as I take awkward steps up to my front door and look back at him, waving as he sits in his car. I hear him driving away as I unlock my door and I let out a happy sigh.
It starts raining as soon as I step inside, and I take it as a sign that everything about this evening turned out perfect, even in timing.
As I enter my bedroom, I plop down on my bed and try to loosen the aching grin on my face, but to no avail. I replay the events of this date and realize that I didn’t even include Silas’s appearance in it.
A rush of relief hits me. Maybe I really am getting over him.
I fall onto my back on my bed and stare at the ceiling, remembering my kiss with Damon. How did I get so lucky?
From the way he looks to the words he says to me, I know this kind of stuff shouldn’t happen in real life. Yet, it happened and I have to pinch myself to check.
Are there such things as a reality check? How can I be sure that such an amazing date can occur in the realms of possibility?
I think I might love you, Tammy…
Those words left me in a mess of emotions as I kissed him. Did I want to be closer to him or did I want to show him and avoid saying those words back? Kissing him felt like it was the most valid thing in the world. He’s always been the best choice, the right one. And I think that if I continue to leave this passion unmuted, I might love him, too.
I hear a knock on my window.
I freeze. My eyes widen as I stare at the ceiling, hoping it was just the wind pushing the tree branches against my window.
I hear another knock, this time very familiar and distinct.
Lifting my head, I see a shadow by the window and I get up to check. Looking out the window, I spot those warm brown eyes I’d missed so much.
I consider for a moment, whether I should open the window, but it was raining outside and he was getting wet. I unlock the window and slowly pull it open.
Completely soaked, Silas climbs into my room. I sit on my bed, wiping cold sweat off of my palms onto the Mulan themed sheets. Once inside, he stands awkwardly with rain dripping from his dark brown locks.
“I had to see you,” he swallows hard as I meet his gaze. I don’t say anything, trying to keep my own emotions down, but failing.
Everything comes rushing back again, the memories, the pain, the truth. He can’t do this to me. It’s not fair. I don’t need to hurt like this. I rest my hand on my chest, as if it would hold me steady.
“I still love you,” he whispers.