I awaken again in a white room, great another hospital I thought. I wasn’t sure how I got here all I could remember was going to Tristan’s house and falling asleep there. How’d I end up here?
“Hey you’re up,” says a sad looking tristan.
“Yeah, I am. Can you tell me how I got here?” I ask.
“Ah, the doctor said you might not remember, ” he says running his hand though his hair.
I was so confused what did the doctor say I would forget? Why was I here and why did Tristan look so sad nothing made sense right now.
“You had a panic attack and then you passed out Lexie” he starts.
Then it all hits me, Peyton was missing. He hadn’t gone home after I left him in the forest. Tristan told me after I had woken up and I couldn’t handle it. I sat there in the hospital bed running my hands through my hair as I remembered everything. Tristan sat on the bed and took me in his arms and let me cry, I was grateful to have him. I had lost my love and now I was in the hospital. I cried and cried until it became those hiccup cries. He rubbed my back calming me.
I could feel myself become numb again. I had this excruciating pain in my chest. I felt my broken heart and it hurt so much. Peyton had cheated on me with a girl I despised and thought dressed like a hooker. Worst of all were the thoughts that hit me on the way to Tristan’s house. Was she better than me? Did he love her? Was it because she was pretty and I-
Tristan told me there was no news on Peyton and I tried to ignore it but it worried me not knowing where he was and if he was okay or not. Tristan sat there beside me and comforted me, he said the doctor said I could leave today. She also said I had to eat something. Tristan brought me back to his house and I kept quiet. We sat in his room and he told me something I needed to hear.
“Lexie I know you love Peyton, and you’re worried sick right now. But you can’t keep thinking about it. Lexie, he hurt you, he’s a terrible guy. He had the audacity to cause you more pain knowing what you’ve been through. Then he had the nerve to disappear after he hurt you, you don’t deserve this” he says with his sad eyes and smile.
“Loved,” I say.
Tristan looked at me with a confused face.
“You said I love him. I Loved him. Past tense” I said trying to make myself believe it more.
Tristan hugged me. Tristan had been there for me when Peyton wasn’t. He had saved me from the group home from Collin. Now he was watching over me. I let go of Tristan and he let go. I stared into his eyes for a moment gratefully and then before I knew it Tristan was kissing me. I had my eyes closed letting him kiss me.
Peyton wanted girls like Brooke and Layla, I couldn’t compete. He didn’t want me. I opened my eyes in shock. Did Tristan? Woah did he?
“I won’t hurt you” he whispered in my ear while taking my hand in his.
“I’m not like him, I won’t betray you. I won’t take you for granted” he said now looking me in the eyes again.
It was nice of Nate letting me stay here. We met in summer camp. We were in the same group, we were the Scaly dragons. We never cared much for the name but it was my first time at summer camp so I was nervous, yeah I was nervous as hell.
I didn’t like coming out and doing the activities with the others I’d always think of some excuse until one day Nate came looking for me. It surprised me really I’d never even spoken to him. Anyway, we spent the rest of that day playing scrabble and the next day he somehow got me to come outside and do the activities. We were swimming and on tire swings in no time.
We kept in touch after summer school he didn’t live too far from me and we always went back every summer until we became too old for camp. His parents were stupid wealthy so they let him have this cabin to live in. He didn’t care much for the wealthy life style. He was a cool dude. He just drank too much and it barely had any effect on him. Seriously he drank beer like water, scary stuff.
I awoke the next morning and I tried staying calm. I showered then went into the kitchen. Dude made us pancakes he was the best.
“Hey it’s Saturday what do you want to do?” he asks.
“I don’t know whatever you want, what do you do around here?” I asked bitting my pancake.
After breakfast we go into his garage. Yes the cabin has a garage. He opens the door and inside are two dirt bikes. He smiles at me and I know just what he was planning. Race time! We get on a bike and start to race. I win a few times and he wins a few times. These babies were great for where we were. We get ready for one more race. I’m in the lead this time when suddenly I get a bad feeling.
It was bad, possibilities of something happening to Lexie popped into my brain. I stopped the bike and wasn’t holding on properly. I flew as the bike stopped right into a tree.
You know what the funny part of all this was. I didn’t even feel the pain. My shoulder was out if it’s socket and all I could worry about was Lexie. Was she okay? Did something happen?
Nate stopped his bike and ran towards me.
“Peyton! Dude are you okay?” He asks me.
“You’re not okay you idiot! Your shoulder is out if it’s socket come on let’s get back to my place” he says.
We take a bike back. He says no one will touch his other bike no one really lives out here anyways. He’d come back for it later. We get back and walk in, my shoulder was giving me pain now but not enough to clear my mind.
“How are you not like screaming in pain right now? ” He asks me.
I don’t reply.
“Peyton, why’d you stop the bike?” He asks me realizing something.
“I got a bad feeling, I think Lexies in danger” I almost whisper.
“Dude this Lexie chick is eating you up inside. Your shoulders out if it’s socket and all you can do is worry about her?! Come here” he pulls my arm.
We get to the kitchen and he puts some ice to numb my pain. When my arms completely numb he manages to pop my should’ve back in. I barely felt it. But I wish I could feel it. A little pain for her pain. He gets some compression wrap and wraps my shoulder.
“Can I use your phone?” I finally ask.
“Yeah sure” he says eyeing me suspiciously.
He fricken had service out here and he had a charger. I text Mason.
Me: Dude it’s Peyton, how’s Lexie??
Mason: She’s in the hospital you idiot. Where the hell are you? Everyone’s worried about you.
Me: Why is she in the hospital, what happened?
Mason: Tristan brought her there after she passed out.
Mason: Look just stay where you are for a few days give her space, she’s hurt dude and now Tristan wants to kill you
I hand Nate the phone so he can read my text. Now I feel terrible. I felt bad before but now I just wanted to die.
I kissed her in the moment but the funny thing is she didn't pull away. kissed back. We sat there in silence afterward and she looked down. I lifted her face up with my finger on her chin. I stared into her hurting eyes. She might care or she might’ve been caught in the moment but she was still hurting and I couldn’t take advantage of her anger towards Peyton. That’s probably why she didnt pull away I thought as revenge for Peyton cheating on her. She stared back at me sadly.
“Lexie, I’m sorry about that. I-I didn’t mean and I know you’re still hurting” I say.
She hugged me. I felt every muscle in her body tense up then I felt the back of my shirt get wet. she was crying. I let her cry on me, I felt like an asshole. Nice move Tristan I scolded myself consciously. When she was done crying she sat looking down again playing with her fingers. I took her hands in mine and intertwined our fingers.
“Lexie I’m sorry about kissing you, I couldn’t help myself. You deserve so much better than what you’re getting. I don’t know what came over me. I know I shouldn’t be kissing you because one it’s strange and two you’re not ready for anything” I say.
“Thank you” she interrupted my rambling.
I looked at her strangely why was she thanking me? She let go of my hands so she could hug me.
“Thank you for taking care of me, listening to me, and thank you for saving me” she stopped then continued.
“Thank you for finding me, for following my scream and for walking into that room when you did. Thank you so so much” she said as some tears fell out of her eyes and onto my shirt.
It was still a tough subject for her. I hugged back and rubbed her back.
“I’ll always be here when you need me, ” I told her.
We hugged for a little while longer. When we stopped I stared at her and smiled. She had changed since then, a little weight gain had helped her even though she was still tiny and skinny. She spoke a lot more and until her little date with Peyton she was happier and laughed more. I wish I could make her laugh.
“Come on no more tears today” I said as I gently wiped her tears away.
We went into the living room and spent the afternoon eating junk food and watching movies. I had to get her to eat something so chips and small things were my best bet right now. In the middle of Pirates Of The Caribbean the one where Jack Sparrow is on the ship surrounded by crabs I started thinking about our kiss.
I’ve dated many girls, to be honest, and they never worked out. They threw themselves at me too so it wasn’t hard getting one. They were all average and boring. Too much makeup not enough mind and too bitchy for my taste. Out of all the girls ive kissed my kiss with Lexie was the best.
I’ll admit I did like Lexie but I’ve never thought about her romantically. But right now I guess a kiss was just all we had and I couldn’t push her to be with me because she was in the breakup phase. I also couldn’t ask her for much because she was emotionally hurt and I didn’t want her passing out again. She needed to recover, my feelings didnt matter now.