I carried her in and a nurse took her from me. I had to wait until there was any news on her.It was killing me being here waiting to know how she was. It reminded me of the first time I brought her here. When I found her in her house bruised all over and passed out. It was after her asshole father had beat her.
My hands make fists at this memory. I remember her being so lifeless and me being so scared to lose her, like now. I texted Mason and Nate to tell them where I was and that I had found lexie.
After a while, the nurse came back and told me she’d be awake in a few hours.
I chose to sleep there till then. The seats were not the least bit comfortable but I had to see her. A few hours later around midnight, the nurse tells me she should be waking up now. I walk into the room quietly.
She was laying in the bed looking a bit more alive she was still pale and her wrist had been covered up. I sit in a chair in the room for a few minutes until I see her opening her eyes. she’s not surprised by where she’s at. She’s calm. She’s only shocked at the sight of me in the room. She stares at me.
“Lexie why?” I ask her. She knew what I was talking about.
“Nothing ends well for me, I’m no good and I’m not good enough for anything or anyone,” she said tears threatening to come out of her eyes.
I understood how she felt. I knew the feeling of thinking you weren’t good enough. I got up and sat on her bed. I take her hand in mine and stare at her wrist but then another thought hit me. One deep cut on her wrist wouldn’t be enough I know it wouldn’t be enough for me.
“Lexie, where else did you cut?” I ask her sadly.
She shuts her eyes as the tears fall.
“Where? Can you show me?” I ask.
She lifts her shirt and pulls down her pants a bit.
she had cut the word useless into her hip going down.
I stare at her sadly. Did I make her feel this way? I removed my bandages off my arm. She breathed hard at the sight of them, she hadn’t seen all of them in the closet only some and now she saw the new ones from today.
“One for every day I had to be without you and more from today for causing this,” I tell her.
She covers her face with her hands and begins to cry harder. I take one of her hands and hold it.
“You make me happy, you make the days better. I don’t compare anyone to you because I hold you on a pedestal, higher than everyone else’s. You are my princess, my Lexie.. the girl I’m madly in love with. You think Brooke is anywhere near your level? Shes not.” I tell her.
Then I kiss her hand.
“I’m sorry I’m such an idiot and I hurt you, I’m sorry I caused you ending up here not once but twice. I love you and you’re worth everything to me, I can’t stand Brooke anyway. She’s too orange for me” I say and she chuckles a bit
She moved her hand in mine to her face and touched her face with it. She shut her eyes and smiled a bit.
“The reason I cried back there. It was because I felt guilty.I didn’t let you finish and because I missed you so much and for you to hurt yourself and then find out the way you did I hate myself.” She says turning away.
I stop her and intertwined my fingers with her. I lay my forehead against hers and smile at her sadly.
“We were both dumb I shouldn’t have gone to that party I should’ve stayed home with you. And I shouldn’t have walked out of that closet, I should’ve stayed with you, I’m sorry.” I apologize.
I lean in a bit and she closes her eyes. I kiss her on the cheek. We haven’t worked everything out yet but we still cared about each other. I lay down in her hospital bed and hold her making her warmer with my body heat. I kiss her forehead before she falls asleep.
“I love you, Pey,” she says and falls asleep with her head on my chest.
I spent the night with her keeping her warm. I knew we’d eventually have to leave and have to solve things but for now, all I needed was this. We’d both have to go to group sessions now, I thought.
They’d definitely send her and I was going to go with her to get help myself.
I awoke the next day alone. I sigh, had I dreamed Peyton being here? I started questioning everything. No, it was real his scent was on me. I smile and touch my cheek thinking about the kiss he gave me last night. I missed those kisses so much.
Peyton enters with some food and smiles at me. I smile back. I was still confused, I didn’t know what we were, he and I if we were back together or not. It felt like it but I decided not to ask. I knew I had a lot of explaining to do to Tristan so I just enjoyed Peyton’s company until then.
A few hours later Mason came to visit me. It was nice seeing him he’d always been kind to me even after the break up he’d smile at me and ask me if I was okay from time to time. He brought Tristan with him. I asked Mason for some space with Tristan and he left to go see Peyton.
“Lexie I’m so glad you’re okay I was so worried about you what happened?” He blurts out.
It was cute his concern for me but he wasn’t the one for me. I knew that now, well I always knew. Even when I was staying with Tristan for those two months I’d think about him and worry all the time. I felt so bad for what I was going to say to Tristan.
“Tristan sit please” I pat the bed for him to sit next to me.
He sits and looks at me curiously.
“Tristan I’m sorry I missed our date and I’m sorry I made you worry and I’m sorry for what I’m going to say next” I stop as I look up at him expecting to see sadness but I don’t.
“You’re going to tell me that you can’t be with me, that Peyton is the one you truly love,” he says leaving me speechless.
He laughs at this.
“Lexie, I knew you loved him and I know you still do. I guess part of me knew I couldn’t be Peyton I couldn’t be what you wanted. But I needed to at least try to be there for you. In the process, I started to develop a crush on you. It’s okay you and Peyton can be together. I’m just glad he found you and that you’re safe” he says with a sad smile.
I lean forward and kiss him on the cheek. He blushes and I take his hand in mine.
“Thank you for understanding and I’m so sorry” I apologize to him. I felt bad about it really he was such a sweet and caring guy.
“It’s okay Lexie,” he said now hugging me.
“There’s a girl here who was looking for you, green hair and skinny,” says Nate, Peyton’s friend.
I smile “you mean Becca?”
“Yeah Becca, cool chick, she’s right outside I’ll let her in,” he says. Not sure why he sad cool though.
Tristin leaves and Becca walks in curiously and sees me and had tears in her eyes.
“Oh, Lexie I never thought I’d see you again. How do I live without you I’d be trampled by those robots every day or worse they’d make me their makeup doll” she hugged me and hugged me and she rambled on like this for a while but I knew she was glad to see me.
When she finally finished Nate and I both laughed a bit. Becca leaned forward and whispered a bit too loudly,
“Who’s the guy and why is he laughing with you ?”
“My names Nates, he’s Peyton’s friend and I’m laughing because your rambling is hilarious,” he says chuckling now.
Becca blushes. I think contact with guys is weird for her but Nate made her especially nervous. It was cute. She went on to tell me about how she couldn’t find me after lunch and ended up leaving too because it was just too terrible. I hugged her again.
Mason told her I was here most likely because he had seen me hanging around with her. She was good company and hilarious. Nate left with her, well he escorted her out because I needed some sleep. When I awoke I thought I was still dreaming. My room was filled with flowers I mean just flowers everywhere and Peyton was sitting on a chair by my hospital bed smiling.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hey,” I say back.
He smiled at this and I smile back.
“Can I tell you something?” He asks me.
“Sure,” I said curiously.
He hands me a rose.
“You see this rose? You’re the petals and I’ll be your thorns. I promise to keep you safe.” he says.
I blush super hard at this.
“I’m not perfect but I keep trying cause that’s what I said I would do from the start. I’m not alive if I’m lonely, so please don’t leave ” he says the lyrics to my favorite song and my eyes water.
“Lexie please I’m begging you” he starts getting on his knees.
“Please take me back, I need you” he says.
I take his hand and intertwine our fingers.
“I love you Peyton,” I say.
He smiles “that’s a yes,” he says leaning in closer.
We share a kiss and another one and another one.
It’s been a week since Lexie’s return, we decided to stay with Nate actually. I felt bad that he lived alone plus I barely got to see him. He got used to Lexie though no more hate for her since she made me happy and we were together again.
She told Tristan the truth and how she couldn’t be with him she said he understood and took it well but I had a little run-in with him that day.
I’m walking out of Lexie’s room to get some food when Tristan slams me into a wall.
“Dude what’s the big idea?” I ask angrily.
“You listen to me and you listen good,” he said holding me against the wall.
He was pressing on my arm and hurting my cuts. I didn’t flinch, though.
“What do you want?” I ask him.
“You know what I want but I can’t have her now. So just know any little thing anything at all that you do to upset her or hurt her again and I’m coming after you. I’ll take her from you and keep her away from you got it?” He says burning holes through my eyes.
He was staring at me with so much anger, I knew he liked her but had it gone beyond that? Did he love her too?
“You’ll never get the chance,” I say.
I get out of his grip and walk out to get Lexie and I some food.
I hadn’t told Lexie about any of this because I didn’t want to upset her. I wanted a smooth recovery so I had Nate keep an eye on her when I went to school. I had her stay home because she really didn’t need the stress and was too weak to be doing much.
I collected her work for the day every day and brought it home. I didn’t want her falling behind, it was enough transferring in and trying to catch up.
Nate made sure she ate, her scars were healing but all those scars on her didn’t sit easily with me. I was glad she was my girlfriend but I needed to do something for her, something to show her just how much I cared.
I know she hates them she refuses to wear anything except long sleeve shirts. When she sees mine I see the sadness in her eyes. I wasn’t having a good time with my scars either I wore long sleeve shirts to practice and that wasn’t easy with the way we sweat. I didn’t want the guys knowing a leader was supposed to be strong, my scars showed how weak I was. I had to be strong to get this team to the finals.
It had been a week since I left the hospital. Peyton and I are together again I should be happy right? But I’m not. It’s gone, the way he looked at me it’s gone. I see the pain in his eyes. He cares about me, he loves me but I know he’s scared of
me doing something stupid again. I know he feels bad about what happened at that party and about what I had done.
I’ve stayed home this week from school, Peyton’s suggestions. Nate makes sure I eat and Peyton looks at my arms and hips every time he gets home from school. I don’t tell him but I look at his arms for new ones too. I was worried about him I didn’t want him worrying about me.
I got used to the cabin quickly it was nice and cozy and away from the city. I’d sleep till noon every day because I really needed my rest but Peyton would kiss my cheek goodbye every morning thinking I was asleep. It was sweet of him. I was supposed to go back to school Monday and I wasn’t looking forward to it really.
It’s around 2 pm, I had lunch with Nate at 12 I didn’t really eat breakfast anymore. I was on my laptop scrolling down my newsfeed when I saw it. It made me sick to my stomach. Someone had shared a picture of Peyton and Brooke
at what I assumed was the football game today.
He was on the bench and she is the slutty cheerleader that she was hugging him. Ler leg was up like in the movies and she was smiling too hard. The caption read “Look at these cuties”. I immediately looked at whose picture it originally was. Layla.
She’d posted it. I slammed my laptop shut.
I didn’t tell Nate about it. I decided to go for a walk and he followed. Probably Peyton’s idea to keep an eye on me. We walked into the woods. little creatures passed by here and then. it was a silent walk beside our footsteps until Nate spoke.
“Lexie this walk was kind of random. Is everything okay?” he asks.
I stopped and tightened my hands
“Have you checked Facebook lately? ” I asked looking out into the forest.
I knew Peyton was tagged so Nate could’ve seen it. I heard him sigh before he spoke again
“Lexie” he grabbed my hand to turn me around.
“There’s an explanation for it, I know Peyton and I know he loves you,” he said giving me a small smile.
I nodded. He tightened his hand on mine for a second to show he cared. Before I wouldn’t have doubted Peyton’s love for me but now I was so confused.
I get home and immediately I go to Lexie’s room, I need to talk to her before she sees the picture. I’m seriously sick of being ambushed by them. I’m not letting them ruin my relationship again. I walk into Lexie’s room and she’s sitting on the window seal staring outside. I walk over and wrap my arms around her waist, I feel her tremble.
She saw the picture.
“Baby,” I say, tightening my grip around her.
“The picture means nothing they’re trying to separate us again, and I won’t let them,” I say.
She was silent for a while and then she nodded.
“Don’t let it get to you” I turn her so she’s facing me and I lift her chin up with my finger.
“Okay babe?” I ask.
She gives me a small smile and nods. I kiss her and she pulls away. Why?
I pulled away from Peyton. I knew instantly it hurt him by the look on his face. I looked down not wanting to face him and started messing with my fingers.
“Lex” he started quietly. “Lexie, I’m sorry about the picture but it means nothing. She is nothing to me, you’re the one I love, I promise you” he stated as he took my hand in his.
The picture wasn’t bothering me anymore, to be honest, I just wanted the old Peyton back. The one who wasn’t checking for cuts when he got home the one who smiled more and wasn’t stuck babysitting me. I got up and pulled him along with me to the bathroom. I opened the cabinet and pulled out a blade I’d hidden in there. His eyes opened wide and he stared at me almost going pale.
“It’s not what you think, listen to me” I insisted before he got any ideas.
He nodded so I continued.
“When I saw the picture I decided to think it through before it got to me but it was too late I was already upset. I was walking in the forest with Nate, he tagged along no doubt due to your concerns for me. He put some sense into my mind but when I got home some doubt was still there.” I say.
I gripped my blade a bit tighter, he sighed.
“I came in here looking for this but then I decided not to because I didn’t want to disappoint you again” I finished looking down.
Peyton sat down on the bathroom floor and I followed him. He slowly opened my hand and took the blade out of it. Then he took my hand and put it under his shirt up to his chest. now I could feel his heartbeat. It was quick and his breathing was tense. I frowned.
“Lex “he started “you didn’t disappoint me, you don’t disappoint me. I’m proud of you, proud because you wanted to but you didn't, proud because you’ve made it this far. These scars”
he lifted up my Shirt to show the ones on my hip and touched them slowly, sending tingles up my spine.
“They don’t mean anything. They fade princess. I’m not happy about what you did, but I know you’re trying. Lexie damn it” he says
I felt his breathing slow down, I saw the anger on his face.
“When you do this” he pulled his sleeve up to show his scars ” it hurts me, it makes me feel like I’m not good enough, and worst of all that I failed you” he says.
I saw tears well up in his eyes. I don't think I've ever seen Peyton cry.
“ It scares me that I could’ve lost you, I don't think you understand how much you mean to me anymore. You won't wear anything except-" I interupt him.
"long sleeve t-shirts," I say pointing at his.
"Why do you hide them?" he asks me.
"I could ask you the same, I hide them because what guy wants a girl whose arms look like this?" I ays lifting my sleeves up.
"I hide mine because I don't want the team knowing, they'll think I'm weak. I cant be a weak leader. But you, you're wrong id love you if they were all over your body. I'd love you if you were the most hideous thing I've ever seen Lex. Quit doubting yourself, you have all of me already" he says.
Here I am losing my mind worrying about him when he’s really worried about me. He does care, the way he looks at me isn’t fully gone he’s just worried about losing me again. Now I feel bad about it. It’s not disgust and concern, it’s true I could’ve died, he was afraid, I unconsciously frown. I didn’t mean to hurt him or make him worry so much.
I just told Lexie the truth, I am scared for her, I want it all to be okay but I know she’s going to hurt and I know what she’s capable of. What she did today though made me proud of her. I love her. We’re sitting on the floor. I take both her hands in mine and intertwine our fingers.
“I love you Lexie, don’t hurt yourself, hell next time you’re upset hit me I can take it, just not too hard,” I say.
She giggles at this. I move in to kiss her when she kisses me first. I smile as we kiss, she wraps her arms around my neck as I wrap her legs around my waist. I lift her up and walk out with her. I lay her slowly on the bed with me on top of her and I kiss her slowly. I stare down at her she’s blushing clearly noticing the position we were in.
“There will be no children making in my cabin! ” Nate yells as he enters and sees the position we're in.
A few weeks later
Fuck! So close!
“Ugh” I groaned as the flowers fell out of order again.
“Hey, dude can I ask you something?” I ask Nate.
He rolls his eyes as he was enjoying a grilled cheese sandwich. it made me chuckle.
“Yes because you’re more important than food,” he says sarcastically.
I take a seat at the kitchen table with him, I’m really apprehensive and he can tell.
“Wassup?” He asks again.
“Well, I wanted to do something for Lexie” he glances uplifting an eyebrow.
I continue “see our last date back then was rudely interrupted and I wanted it to be special we never got to celebrate. Anyway, after all the crap that ended up happening I need a way to cheer her up, she’s not depressed or anything like that much anymore but I can still feel it”
Nate stops his chewing and looks at me questionably.
“She’s still hurt, I know I apologized and we basically made up but it doesn’t make up for the fact that I hurt her, I hurt her with that mistake and again when I left her in that closet. I wanted to find a way to like I don’t show her I’m not an asshole and that I do love her and regret everything” I say
Nate gives me a super cheeky smile, damn him and his face. I laugh
“What man?” I ask taking his grilled cheese off the plate.
“The cuteness is just too real” he starts until he sees me taking a bite of his grilled cheese.
He smacks me on the back of the head and I laugh. Then he snatches it back.
“Can I ask you something?” He says after a few bites and getting all serious.
“Yeah, man shoot” I reply.
“You love Lexie right?” He starts
“Of course” that was a stupid question, of course, I love her.
“When you love someone you get lost staring at them and smile at everything they do from the smallest details to the larger things” he had a sad look in his eyes.
“Yeah,” I said awkwardly.
I haven't seen Nate with a girl in a very long time, I forget he knows how it feels.
“Find something she likes, no something she really likes and put everything into it and surprise her,” he said giving me an idea.
“I think I know what to do I just need you to keep her busy when the time comes” I smile at him.
“Sure,” he said going back to his sandwich.
I’m out in the fields near Nate’s house, he’s keeping Lexie company and Mason’s here with me helping me set up. The flowers fall again and I let out a grunt. Mason laughs at this he loves watching me suffer.
“Dude they’re just flowers,” he says.
I shake my head at him, “everything has to be perfect, this is my second chance” I say.
“You know she’ll love anything you do for her man” he says coming over and helping me put the flowers so they don’t fall over or slip too far into the vase,
“Yeah I know but this is special I want to make her feel like the most important thing in the world to me” I smile then continue “I love her man, anything to make her smile”
Mason stares at me in disbelief. I was no longer the Peyton he knew who swore off girls. The jock who partied and avoided girls like the plague was gone.
When Peyton finally returned he showered got dressed and then went to Lexie’s room. I wonder what he ended up planning. He comes out of Lexie’s room all dapper holding her by the hand. She was in a nice fitting dress which I believe he bought for her.
Guess he knew her size, I don’t have any doubt about that, they fool around a lot. Clothes sizes are easy to find when fooling around. Her dress is black, yeah he definitely bought it. She’s smiling but still confused about what’s going on. Now I really wish I knew what he did.
They leave with a wave and I’m left alone. Alone to do my research, I’d been looking into Tristan.I didn’t trust him there wasn’t a good vibe coming from him. When he didn’t tell Lexie that Peyton was in the hospital. I just knew something was up.
So far all I know is he saved Lexie from being raped at the home and that he and Lexie almost had a thing. They never really got too far before Lexie and Peyton got back together. Also, some of Peyton’s friends had said they’d seen him around the school lately, no doubt trying to talk to Lexie.
Knowing Peyton he most likely has someone with her at all times to keep him away. I’m searching up his name “Tristan Montgomery” when I find an article with his name in it. it’s from a few years back about 5 and there a picture of a younger looking Tristan in a courtroom.
This guy had anger issues I learned as I read, not only had he been arrested more than once for violent school fights. This guy was bad news, he’d left some kid unconscious with a broken jaw the court decided on dropping the charges but he had to take therapy for two years to learn to deal with his anger.
Sheesh for a hero this guy’s past sure was ugly. I kept reading more into his name, two years later he hurt a girl and it was bad. This hit me hard if Lexie had dated him who knows what could've happened, oh man.
I start reading into the details. Apparently, the girl was pushed into a wall while he tried strangling her and then he punched her causing her to blackout.
So therapy didn’t do much the first time and then his second time in court for a case like this landed him 8 months in juvenile detention. I had to tell Peyton, Lexie needed to stay away from him. I didn’t want to ruin their day so I’ll wait until tomorrow to tell him.
I’m in my room watching tv when Peyton walks in and takes me by the hand. He kisses me and I kiss back.
“Pey what’s going on?” I ask him confused.
He passes me a hanger with a beautiful black dress on and kisses my forehead.
“Put this on and I’ll show you, ” he says smiling.
Peyton looks super hot tonight and now I look nice in this new dress too,
“It fits perfectly !” I say
Peyton smiles and takes my hand.
“Follow me, babe,” he says and I do.
We waved bye to Nate and then were out the door. we walk a little bit into the woods and I automatically get nervous. Woods, forests, just bad memories came to mind in these places when it comes to Peyton and me.
We walk a little bit further and I feel Peyton squeeze my hand I look up at him and he stops. He moves closer to kiss me. we kiss and he wraps his arms around me and holds me for a while.
“Pey what’s going on?” I ask him a bit worried now.
“I love you, ” he says looking into my eyes.
“I love you too pey,” I say smiling.
Okay so this wasn’t bad news. We walk again and I gasp when we finally stop. It was beautiful there was an old circular little place. It had white round columns around it and lights of all colors around the columns.
Pey took my hand and walked me up the two steps slowly as I was still in shock. In the middle, there was a small table and around it on the floor were white roses. it was all so beautiful.
I think he knew I was impressed but more than anything I was happy. He let go of my hand to pull my chair out for me. I sat and then he followed to sit across from me. In the middle of the table sat a pretty black vase with blue and white flowers inside.
Everything was positioned so perfectly and the lights made it feel like magic. I couldn’t help but ask Peyton what was going on.
“Pey” I started, smiling at him and he was smiling too. “what’s going on?”
He chuckled a little and it was so cute he looked so happy.
“Babe this is our redo date. I know our date was ruined last time and I felt so terrible afterward. Lately, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to cheer you up.
Istill worry about you, I love you so much that the thought of losing you drives me insane. I’m gonna do everything to keep you forever. This is also a thank you date, thank you for taking me back, for forgiving me for loving me I know I screwed up and..”
I kissed him. I got up while he was going on and on and I kissed him. This redo date was amazing it was so sweet of him. He still worries about me as feels bad about the incident. Damn I love this boy. Not because he felt guilty but because he’d do anything to make me happy.
As we kissed our fingers interlaced and my eyes closed. I want to remember this moment forever. Eventually, our kiss ended and I sat back down. Peyton smiled at me and I smiled back.
“I love you lexie” he said
“I love you too Peyton” I said.
The rest of the date was amazing. Soft music began to play while we ate. we ate chocolate cake and strawberries and it was amazing. Did I mention Peyton’s a great cook? Well he is! After the food he took my hand and we danced.
It was like prom except, less people, okay two people. Afterward, we sat and watched the stars for a while. I’ve always liked the night sky. The moon was full tonight and the stars were everywhere not being in the city and all. Peyton took pictures of us before we left and kissed me every chance he got.
A few hours later we went back home and I swear I was flying. It was the best date of my life with the only guy I’ll ever love. We’re home and Peyton’s in his room. I go shower and carefully hang up the dress Peyton bought me. I couldn’t get over how beautiful it was but best of all it was a gift from him.
After the shower I put on some shorts and a large Tshirt, I’m about to lie on my bed when I find something. There’s a small box with a now on it on my bed. I sit and carefully open it. Inside are the pictures we took earlier tonight. How in the world did these print to fast?! Also inside I found a white rose and a note reading
" I love you -pey xx"