Damn it! Tristan is Getting between Lexie and Peyton and I am so not ready for another heart broken Peyton I mean I’m just not. I found him in front of Lexie’s room sitting on the ground, he looked awful so I guessed with the door slam I heard earlier they’d fought.
Of course I’ve never seen them fight before but I know Peyton is a hot head. He wont listen to anyone once he has an idea in his mind. Whatever Tristan said to him, that hand wasn’t fooling anybody he’d probably hit a few other things on his way home. But it was clear something was wrong when he went straight upstairs I mean he barely even glanced at Lexie until he saw her on the ground.
I had walked in to talk to Lexie about it but she was asleep. Maybe they’ll work it out together I thought, or not but I hope they so. I’m not one for counseling relationships. And I like Lexie she’s really grown on me she helps me keep the cabin in order having Peyton and Mason around is work.
I went to my room and decided to take a nap hopefully they’d make some sense if the situation by the time I woke up like I said I’m no good at relationships. My last relationship was shitt.
2 years ago
“I can’t believe you, how could you?!” Sam yelled at me.
“What are you talking about? Can you tell me what your talking about?” I asked since I clearly had no idea what she was talking about.
“Today, do you know what today is?” She said slowly
“It’s Friday night obviously” I replied knowing exactly what today was. Today we made a year and six months.
I have something planned for later on tonight but it was a surprise so I had to keep acting like it was a normal day.
“You inconsiderate jerk! I knew it was too good to be true” she yelled throwing a pillow at me.
I caught that pillow and her words.
“You knew what was too good to be true?” I asked her.
“This, you and me, us. Everyone said it wouldn’t last that you’d never care enough. That you’re a heartless jerk and it’s true” she yelled and here’s where I lost it.
“A heartless jerk?! If I was a heartless jerk I would’ve left you a long time ago! You think I’m inconsiderate. If I was inconsiderate I wouldn’t have planned anything for tonight I would’ve forgotten what today was” I yelled.
“You think I’m inconsiderate and don’t care, a heartless jerk right? Then you can go be with Chris! I know you like him, you can go be with a real inconsiderate jerk” I said as I stormed out of her house.
That was the last time I ever spoke to her. She knew me well enough to know I wasn’t an inconsiderate jerk. She was super duper bipolar but I put up with it because I cared. The truth is that night I had a surprise planned. I made reservations at her favorite fancy restaurant and after that I was going to take her dancing at the beach where I’d set up lights and flowers everywhere.
I’d gone through a lot of trouble too and she’d thrown it all away without ever knowing. I also noticed how lately Chris seemed to be around more and I’d catch her blushing from time to time. I hoped that this surprise would make her see who really cares for her and that I didn’t want to lose her but it was too late. I canceled my reservation and let the flowers at the beach maybe someone else could use them. That’s the last relationship id gotten myself into.
I hope Lexie and Peyton last.
Lexie understood me so well. Of course what Tristan had said got to me. It got to me when he said it and it was still on my mind now. I’d argued and yelled at Lexi, I don’t want this tearing us apart. All I want to do is protect her.
I turned away from her when she asked me, it was true. I don’t feel like I deserve her I’ve barely done anything to help her all I’ve done is cause her pain. Lexie lets my hand go and hugs me from behind. I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve her, I keep thinking. I remove her arms from hugging me and run out of the room. I ran out of the cabin and ran to the woods, I ran and I ran. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
I collapse on the woods dirt floor and fall asleep to the sound of my intense breathing.
What is it with woods ?
I’m awakened to Lexie running into my room with tears steaming down her face.
“Peyton’s gone, Peyton’s gone” she sobbed as I held her.
I’m guessing they didn’t makeup after last night.
“Lexie, what do you mean he’s gone what happened?” I say rubbing her back.
" We -hiccup- were talking about how-hiccup- Tristan said -hiccup hiccup- Peyton wasn’t good enough for-hiccup-me and he ran out” she sobbed some more her crying becoming harder by the minute.
I held her tightly and rubbed her back.
“Shh Lexie it’s gonna be okay, we’ll find him. There’s no way he left you” I say calming her.
“It’s not true,” she says
“What’s not true?” I ask her wondering what she’s talking about now.
“What Tristan said, it’s not true ” she starts, whipping her tears.
“Peyton not deserving me it’s not true. I love Peyton he’s the only one I want and I don’t know how to make him believe me. Tristan is the one who doesn’t deserve me. Peyton, I I love Peyton” she says with sad eyes.
She was upset clearly but I understood how Peyton felt.
I hug her tightly “we’re gonna have to make him believe you then,” I say.
“I thought he’d be back by now like maybe he ran out to get some air or to clear his mind but it’s been hours Nate. Where could he have gone?” She says steadying her breathing.
" Well if I know you two and I think I so he’s definitely in the woods somewhere. He’ll be back tomorrow don’t worry I’ll talk to him” I said actually wondering why the hell he wasn’t back yet.
I miss Peyton, I fell asleep after he’d left thinking he be back soon but he didn’t come back. I told Nate and he said he’d be back and he’d talk to him for me but I don’t know what’s happening.
It’s like he has no faith in himself Tristan’s placed all this doubt in his mind when it shouldn’t be there. Ugh, Tristan, this was his fault! I’ve never been so furious in my life! I wait until 8 am and still no sign of Peyton but I figured it was time I paid Tristan a visit.
I get Nate to drive me to the city and tell him I’ll call him to pick me up later on. Right to Tristan’s house I walk getting angrier by the second. Stupid Tristan messing with Peyton’s mind like that. I bang on his door with way too much force until he opens it. With a smile on his face he steps aside so I can walk in.
“Lexie it’s so good to-” he starts and I cut him off
“Save the crap Tristan how could you?!” I start.
He clearly looks confused and had no idea what I’m talking about.
“How could you say that? Peyton’s not deserving of me? What even gives you the right to say that?! ” I yell.
“Facts Lexie. Facts. Every time you’re with him something bad happens, you’re always miserable thanks to him. He doesn’t deserve you! ” He shouts
“Oh and you do?! I yell back with hands on my hips now.
I can’t believe the audacity he had. He had no right to talk about Peyton!
“He doesn’t deserve you, he doesn’t care about how you feel he doesn’t protect you where was he when you were rooming with that rapist?! Nowhere but I was there!” he tells back knowingly.
“He couldn’t go with me! This has nothing to do with anything! I know Peyton will protect me if I’m ever in danger he’s done more than enough for me!” I yell back losing my temper.
“Like make you harm yourself, cry, end up in the hospital, because of him you ended up at that home where you were almost raped, Lexie! How can you forget about that?! ” He yelled making me shudder.
I turn my back to him. He wasn’t right about Peyton but I couldn’t handle the topic. It was silent for a bit I tried finishing the conversation hoping he didn’t realize I was almost at tears.
“I can’t forget about it. How could anyone forget that I- ” suddenly I felt arms around me.
“I’m sorry, ” he said.
“I’m sorry it was wrong of me to bring it up,” he said pulling me closer.
I kept quiet as the tears came down my face.
“I remember, how scared you were. The horrified scream that came from the room. I only wish I’d gotten there the night before. I’m so sorry.” He said
I lost it, the memories started flashing through my head and I started shaking.
Tristan knew I was having a panic attack he’d seen me like this before. He sat me down on the couch and brought me water. Then he held me until my breathing came back to normal.
When it was over he spoke.
“I’m sorry I just did that, I’m sorry, ” he said.
“I’ll never forget that day and I swear to protect you always even if you’re not mine,” he said.
I sad smiled and before I knew it he had his arms around me and was kissing me. I turned hearing footsteps and I couldn’t believe who was at the door. Oh no.
I awakened in the forest around 9am not really confused about where I was I remember leaving and coming here just not when I fell asleep. I ran away from Lexie I couldn’t do it anymore. She’s so in love with me but all I’d done was cause her pain to top it all off id yelled at her.
But she was the one trying to fix things not me.
Damn it! I punched a tree, why’d I leave? I’m such a coward I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. Tell her how wrong she was for loving me, how guilty I felt for bringing her pain. I knew leaving like I did only hurt her and left her confused. I had to get back and make up for it I had to make sure she was okay. Damn it, why’d I leave?!
I jogged back to the cabin only to find Nate in the front porch arms crossed waiting for me. I didn’t make eye contact with him I just tried walking around him but the shoved me. So I went around the other side of him, this time he yanked my arm.
“What?” I asked
“What do you mean what? Where’d you go? Why’d you go?” he yelled at me.
“Stay out of this” I simply said I wasn’t in the mood to talk about anything.
He stepped aside after we stared each other down for a while. I walked into the cabin and walked towards my room.
“She’s gone, Peyton” said Nate.
“Where?” I asked.
“Where do you think?” he said lifting an eyebrow at me.
I glared at him “why didn’t you-”
“She said not to, she said she’d be fine and to not interfere,” he said.
I punched the wall in anger, “he’s dangerous and I’m not leaving them alone together” I said.
I walked into my room and grabbed a sweater from the closet, took a bike and got to town as quick as I could. When I finally got to Tristan’s house I found my hands trembling to turn the doorknob. What would I find in there? Was I ready for this? Was I ready for anything? I hear movement and I barge in, well no it took me a few moments to ready myself then I barged in. I barged in only to have my heart ripped to shreds.
There she was my everything, in the arms of another man, Tristan. He was kissing her. She turned to see who had walked in, she saw the expression on my face most likely unreadable. She tried to say something but I didn’t let her. I walked out, got back on my bike and left.
Lexie came home today Peyton didn’t.
I’m not even sure what to do anymore Peyton’s too stubborn to listen to me and Lexie’s locked herself in her room. I knock on the door every hour to make sure she’s okay. She doesn’t want to eat anything and I’m not hungry so no dinner today. I’d get her to eat something because I know that’s something Peyton stresses but I think she was too upset.
I don’t know where Peyton went but he left hours ago, I know he saw Lexie but I’m not sure what happened. Lexie won’t want to talk about it so I guess I’ll just head to bed. I didn’t sleep too well through the night but got some good hours in after 4 AM. Today my cabin was empty, Lexie’s room was unlocked and she’d left a note for me. It read
Nate, because I know you’ll find this. I’m sorry I’m not going to be living with you anymore. Peyton and I, well maybe he’ll explain his side but I just think it’s best if I stay out of your lives. Thanks for your hospitality and for being there for me, please don’t come looking for me I’ll be fine, I know somewhere I can go. Peyton’s lucky to have you, please take care of him and yourself.
She was gone, I wonder where she went. When Peyton got home if he ever comes home he’s not going to like this. I wish I knew what happened but I guess I’ll just have to hear it from him. I lock the door to Lexie’s room, passing by it open just makes me sad. I liked having Lexie around she was like a sister to me plus now I was stuck with a most likely confused and hurting Peyton.
“Are you sure you’d like to stay here?” The Lady asks me.
“Yeah, I’ll get a job and pay the rent miss no worries, I just need a place to stay” I say.
“We’ll okay, I won’t question you anymore. Rents due at the end of the month your room is the second door to your left” she said pointing towards the hall.
“Thank you miss” I say.
“Leins” she says.
“Thank you, miss Leins” I say before heading to my room.
This would be my new home.
He wanted her and he got her. I didn’t expect to see that honestly but it was the last thing I needed to see. I didn’t go home I knew Lexie would be there so I decided to crash at Mason’s place, the next morning that is. I’d spent the afternoon wandering around until I found a bar.
Getting in was no problem my fake ID never failed me. A few beers calmed me a bit. So many things were running through my mind. I wish I could shut my brain down. I made it to Mason’s place the next morning though. No explanation needed he could tell from the way I looked something had happened and from the stench of alcohol on me, he knew not to ask.