The best way to deal with stuff you can’t deal with is to ignore it. How can I ignore the fact that I almost slept in the same bed as Peyton? That I fell asleep on him and he had to carry me to my room. It’s so embarrassing! It won’t leave my mind and he’s creeping me out. Earlier we were eating breakfast and I kept catching him staring at me.
He tried apologizing for it but I just ignored it completely and thanked him for something else. He just walked out of the room quietly. I felt terrible, what if it meant something to him? I mean could it have meant something to him? No no this is Peyton we’re talking about. Besides what could he possibly want with a girl like me?
Ignore,ignore,ignore, come on Lexie its not a big deal just forget about it.
Allowing me to stay here was just a favor, something you do for a friend. I should apologize, I should say I’m sorry. It took me an hour to build the courage to get up and walk to his room. I knock on his door and hear footsteps coming towards it.
He opens the door and looks at me. His grown out hair is all messy as if he’s been running his hands through it a lot. I don’t know what to say it what I was planning to say. So I did what any normal person would do.
I hug him.
Did you forget that I’m not a normal person?
I hug him until he hugs back. Hopefully, he understands that this is my apology. He brakes the hug sadly but then looks at me again with curiosity.
“Peyton.. I-I’m sorry a-about before..” I start messing with my fingers.
“It’s just awkward for me ..to be in b-bed well not in bed but to fall asleep on s-someone like y-you..or anyone but especially you..” I manage to say through my stuttering.
“I guess I’m just confused,” I say.
It was the truth I was confused about his actions and everything else and why he’d saved me and why he cared at all.
He took my hand and took me out of my thoughts. He pulls me into his room and pats the bed so I can sit. I do. He runs his hands through his hair a few times almost like he’s nervous or it could be my imagination.
He finally comes to his conclusion. He puts his hands on the sides of his face. His perfectly cute little face, his eyes are gorgeous and his lips look-
“I like you..”
“I like you,” I say to Lexie.
She didn’t say anything. She only stared at me, like maybe she’d misheard me so I repeated myself.
“I like you Lexie,” I said slowly looking her in the eyes.
This time she got up and walked out of the room. Crap what did I just do?! I’m no good with girls I’d only dated one girl before and that obviously didn’t go well. I’d sworn off girls after that but now I like someone. I like Lexie.
She just walked out like nothing, and mute. Mute again isn’t what I was trying to get. I’d just told this girl who I barely knew that I liked her. But I did like her and there was nothing wrong with that, she was amazing and strong.
I walked to her room and knocked on the door
“Lexie, can I come in please?” I asked nicely.
With no response, I get nervous and just walk in. I see her, she’s in the corner of her bed with her head on her knees. Oh man, what had I just done? I dont want her sad again.
“Lexie, Lexie please look at me” I begged her.
She didn't look up.
“Lexie please tell me what I did wrong please?” I say.
Afraid I had just ruined everything we had between us I wrapped my arms around her and held her closer to me.
“Lexie I don’t mean to harm you please, please look at me, I’m begging you. Please look at me” I begged again.
I saw some tears fall before she fully lifted her head up. Then she spoke like she’d been torn apart by my words.
“How Peyton ? How can you like me?” She asked.
I almost wanted to laugh but I couldn’t. My eyes opened in shock then. I finally understood, she didn’t think she was good enough for me.
“Because you are strong, you are smart, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I just want to be there to hold you when your down, want to hold your hand so you know you’re not alone. You are good enough for me in fact, I’m not sure I’m good enough for you, please Lexie just give me a reply and we can go from there” I asked afraid of her next words.
“Peyton.. I’m not on your social level. I just began speaking again. You’re popular and everybody loves you at school. You’re the popular guy and I’m I-” I cut her off right there.
“Lexie you are on my level, I don’t care about social stuff, I like you for you. Not for what clothes you wear or what clique you fall under. I think you’re kind, your intelligent I can tell, you grasp class work like nothing. I like the way you walk, the way you speak the way you look when you’re asleep. I don’t know too much about you but I know you are strong. I wanna help you get better and keep you safe I- ”
“I like you too,” she said shyly hiding her face behind her hair.
I pushed it out of her face and behind her ears and looked at her.
“Give me a chance please, I want to know more about you. Please?” I asked.
She was quiet for a moment and then she nodded
“Okay Peyton, I’ll give you a chance” she replied smiling.
I smiled too and hugged her and held her.
“Hey tell me more about yourself?” I asked.
“What do you want to know?” She replies.
“Um, favorite animal?” I ask.
“Dogs,” she says
“What kind of dogs,” I ask.
“German shepherds and huskies definitely. And yours?” she asks
“Me? My favorite animal would have to be chameleon” I say
“Really why?” she asks
“They change colors and can blend into any surrounding,” I say
“Umm.. do you feel like if you were a chameleon your life would be more normal?” she asks.
“Of course I mean the attention that’s great and all but its hard for me to get to know people. Girls are always after me for my looks and popularity and none of that really matter to me" I say.
She smiled. “I like huskies and German shepherds cause they’re like guard dogs. they’ll protect you always and they’re have really pretty fur”
“I’ll be your husky if you’d like” I say
She laughed at this.
“Um sure? Why not” she says
“Roof roof, “I barked making her giggle.
“What are you doing?” she asks
“Shh! Dogs don’t speak” I said back
She laughs even harder at this. I lay my head in her lap like a dog would and she looks down at me smiling. We hold hands, her fingers fit nicely with mine, her hand is cold though.
I take her hand and take her back to my room. We spend the afternoon watching movies and eating icecream. She gets tired around 4. There’s a snow storm going on outside.
“Hey beautiful would you like to sleep in your bed tonight or?” I ask hoping she stays again.
She’s laying her head on my shoulder and I have her hand in mind.
“I like my bed but it’s actually getting really cold..“she says.
I get up and get the warmest blanket I can find and lay it over her then I go and lay back down with her. She hugs me and I kiss her forehead.
“Thank you” she says blushing.
I hold her and let her fall asleep with me. I liked her, I liked her alot. She was now my girlfriend and I was going to protect her and make her happy. I hate her dad and her ex. How could they, I could never lay a hand on her. Which reminds me Monday morning was going to be sweet. Makeup isn’t good for everyone.