Honey & Him

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due // am i still in the run to become america’s next top model?

Right now I was standing in a secluded room with other models that were also here for the casting. We were all waiting for our names to be called and then audition for the job. It almost felt as if I were in an America’s Next Top Model episode.

As I look around I see that there are some girls that are definitely better dressed than me. When I got out of bed I put on the first thing that I could grab, which were black skinnies and a white square neck top. I wore nude heels to appear taller than I am and give the outfit a sense of professionalism.

The girl who was with Mario returned and the assistant called my name next. I got up and followed him to the casting room.

I stood at the end of the room before the desk where Mario and his assistant were situated.

“Good Morning, Emma.” Mario greeted me and opened the portfolio that has my work in it. “This looks good, but first let’s see your walk.”

Okay, I can do this.

I stood straight and put on my game face. When I think about a runway walk my mind automatically goes to Karlie Kloss. She has such a strong walk that seems almost feline. I guess that’s why they call it a catwalk.

I walked a straight line with a fierce look on my face then posed and walked back. I watched as the Mario and his panel of people did some annotations. Then he called me to the desk where he was to do the usual interview.

“So, Emma, have you done any professional job? As in working with bigger brands and designers.” Mario asked me as he analyzed my portfolio.

“Since I recently decided to pursue my modeling career I haven’t really worked with bigger brands. I’ve done jobs with freelance photographers and indie brands.” The truth is that I’ve been to other castings before but they never seem to find me good enough.

It’s kind of frustrating because I gave up everything just to follow my dream. I know that I’m good at what I do. I’ve studied for years the most famous supermodels; their walks, poses, faces, everything. And not only the supermodels, the designers and brands too.

I know that things like this take time. It’s not like I suddenly wake up and become a supermodel, I have to work for it. But there’s only so much rejection that one can take and I’ve faced enough.

It’s hard to keep trying when it doesn’t get you anywhere.

“This is interesting, who shot this?” Mario’s question brings me back from the pity party that is going on in my mind.

I notice that he’s referring to the photoshoot that Ava and I did in a diner with an 80’s vibe. We had so much fun that day and that’s indeed one of my favorite photoshoots. “It was my friend Ava Fisher. She’s very creative and I think that some of my best work has been shot by her.”

“Right, so Emma once we reach a decision we will get in touch with you for the callbacks.” Mario says as he closes my portfolio and gives it back to me.

“Thanks for the opportunity. It was a pleasure to meet you.” I say and stretch my hand towards him and we do a short handshake.

Em: hey, are you busy rn??

A: i get out in 15.

A: are you done?

Em: yeah, can we meet for lunch?

A: sure.

A: let’s meet at that place near my studio.

Em: ok, be there in 10.

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