cinque // get rid of any self-doubt and let’s drown ourselves in ice cream
When I got to the kitchen everything was ruined. The noodles were overcooked and soggy, the vegetables were tinted a brownish color, and the chicken was charred. Everything had gone to waste and it had dampened my mood a little bit. Since Ava should be almost home now and I still wanted Chinese food I decided to order takeout from our go-to Chinese place.
I was almost done with the cleaning when Ava had stormed through the front door. “Em, I have news!” She screamed at me excitedly and bouncing on her feet.
“What? Me too but, you go first.” I said to her leaving the dishcloth on the counter and making my way to the couch so that we could talk.
“I got a call from Mario Simone!”
“What?” I said and got up almost instantly. “Why did he call you?”
“Well, he said that my work made an impression on him when he saw my pictures in your portfolio. So, he got his assistant to contact me and he gave me a job in his new campaign!” She said almost jumping up and down, and waving her hands around.
“So, he didn’t give me a job but he contacted you?” I said confused and sat on the couch, my hands going up to my head. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy for Ava and I do appreciate what Mario had done for me but, if he hadn’t liked me as much would he still had offered her a job and not me? I just can’t help but feel a little disappointed by this.
“What? You didn’t have a callback?” Ava said and sat down beside me. “I’m so sorry, Em.”
“Yeah, he said that I wasn’t what he was looking for. But don’t worry I’m not mad or anything, just a little disappointed. And I’m really happy for you.” I reassured her. “He got me a casting spot with Georgia Smith, though. And I’m really grateful for it because you don’t get that every day and he’s very positive that I will get it but, what if I don’t? What if I’m not really made for this? I would be letting my family down. I don’t even have a backup plan. Becoming a model was always my plan. You know that I ditched college for this.” I said completely breaking down and Ava immediately pulled me in for a hug.
“Emma, don’t be like that. Don’t put yourself down like that. You know that you can get this. You will achieve your dream. Me and your family, we believe in you.” She consoled me and pulled away so that she could wipe my tears away. “You can totally do this. You’re Emma Rose Hart. You’re five foot eleven tall and you’re beautiful, you have a great personality, you have whole support of the people who love you, and most important of all you have passion and determination. Don’t let the obstacles get in the way of achieving your goal.”
A knock on the door interrupted Ava from her little speech. That must be the delivery guy with our food.
“Are we expecting someone?” Said Ava getting up to check who was out the door.
“That’s just the delivery guy. I was trying to make food before I almost burned down the apartment so I just order some Chinese for us.” I said with a small chuckle because of my moment of stupidity where I left the food unattended. “I’ll go get the money.”
“Okay, I’ll get the food.”
Ava and I were now sitting on the living room couch. The coffee table was full of empty takeout boxes and we were currently watching Gossip Girl on Netflix.
Right now, the unthinkable was happening. A moment in my life that I never thought would come. I could finally relate to something happening in Blair Waldorf’s life. How may you ask?
Well, right now Blair was failing miserably at ruling NYU like she did in Constance. And she had reached rock-bottom by throwing her annual sleepover for the girls at Constance.
As of this moment, I felt at my rock-bottom. I had gone to so many castings and I had failed all of them. I kept trying and trying but nothing. So, I need to ask myself this question: WWBWD? What would Blair Waldorf do?
She wouldn’t be laying here moping about another failed audition. She would have been designing a master plan to finally achieve her goal, even if they backfire sometimes. But let’s not focus on that.
What I need to do is some planning to finally get the job that I have always wanted. And what better way to start than by working for the Georgia Smith.
Here’s what I’m going to do. I will put on some effort so that I can look my best. I will plan an outfit in advance so that I don’t throw on the very first thing that I find. I will blow dry my hair and then curl it so that it looks voluminous and healthy. I’ll do an intensive night skincare routine so that my skin looks its best. And then I will do my makeup in a way that enhances my natural features.
I want to go for the whole “Woke up like this” vibe instead of looking like a try-hard. In reality, I am but they don’t need to know that.
“Em?” Ava says nudging me with her hand and snapping me out of my thoughts. “Are you okay? You spaced out for a while there.”
“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just thinking.” I reassured her so that she doesn’t think that I'm about to jump off a bridge or something. “Ava.”
"Huh?" She replied turning her head so that she could look at me.
"Thanks." I said softly. "For cheering me up."
"Aw, no problem Em. What are best friends for?" She said while giving me a hug and then stood up. "Now, get rid of any self-doubt left and lets drown ourselves in ice cream."