You’re probably wondering about my laws, well if I’m marked it means he can feel all my pain and know if I’m sick, pregnant, or cheating on him. Just like if i were to mark him, I’d know the same but he didn’t want to be marked not until we were married.
It had been 4 years since we met, we met when I was 18 and he was 20 after I just had my 18th birthday at a party. He was everything I ever wanted, he was sweet and caring and took me on dates. I swear I had hit the jackpot, but lately the feeling of love had basically evaporated and he was on call for Beta work 24/7 and never had time for our relationship.
I made him supper, and I always waited for him to come and eat it. Soon I heard his car turn off, he walked inside with his gentle smile and looked at me. There was always a flash of sadness in his eyes, I knew he never wanted to be mated but he couldn’t stop wanting me.
“Hello honey.” He would say, kissing my cheek with the same lingering scent I could never place on his skin.
“Have fun at work?” I asked, he smiled and nodded.
“It was stressful, but we got the job done.” He replied, taking his stuff upstairs to shower like he always did.
I made him his plate, as i did mine and placed it on the kitchen table. I always made him supper, he always told me it was the most delicious meal in the world while he would always leave half the plate saying he was full. I watched him walk down the stairs, in shorts and a t-shirt.
My wolf wasn’t communicating like she use to, before she would growl happily at the sight of her mate but now she stayed silent from neglect by his wolf. We were aware our wolves didn’t get along yet we continued to embrace the bond we were given, or so I thought.
“This is absolutely amazing.” My mate said, his smile not meeting his eyes and I knew he was lying.
“Thank you dear, I worked all night to prepare.” I said, my voice sickly sweet as he put his plate in the microwave to never be finished.
“Going to bed?” I asked, he nodded and kissed my cheek.
“Yes honey, I have a big day tomorrow.” He replied, I scowled.
“I was hoping to go on a date tomorrow, we haven’t done that in a while.” I replied, he gave me this look and I knew it wouldn’t happen.
“I’ll try to get off work earlier.” He replied, kissing my forehead before walking upstairs.
“Okay honey, I’m going to clean up some more.” I would say, like every other night.
I sobbed silently in the kitchen, he wouldn’t get off work early. He never did, I remember waiting at a restaurant for almost 2 hours before they had to give my table away. I remember finding him at home, watching TV without a care in the world and it made me realize that the love was gone for him.
I tried to get him to allow my wolf to mark him, he got so angry and walked out. Apparently it was his wolf who refused that idea, but my wolf told me it was a huge lie and I just gave up on the topic of completely finishing the bond.
I sighed and walked up the stairs after cleaning up, John had never helped. He never did any cleaning, he never helped with groceries and he NEVER cooked. His parents hated me, they stated he deserved better even though I was in fact a Beta Female.
My parents died when I was younger, I never had anybody else who was close enough to call a friend but I was an amazing tracker. I would’ve been part of the tracker team if John wouldn’t have demanded me refuse the request saying a woman should NEVER get her hands dirty where a man does.
I got changed in the bathroom, Josh and I have NEVER had sex. We never slept together, he refused to sleep with me stating that we should wait until marriage once again, yet he didn’t want to have a title. I was ready to get married, start a family, I wanted him to be marked like all the other male’s.
“Goodnight John.” I said, kissing his forehead.
He rolled over and mumbled goodnight, I laid down and sobbed again. I kept asking myself if there wasn’t something wrong with me, was I took skinny? To ugly? Not curvy enough?
I remember falling asleep to the painful squeeze of my heart, wondering why I would never be good enough.
I woke up to my alarm, I sighed and dragged myself to the bathroom too shower. My eyes felt like weights, and I noticed the bags underneath them from the lack of sleep. I showered, and concealed any trace of his neglect and walked downstairs ignoring the snores of my sleeping mate.
I quickly made breakfast, I decided to make him eggs and bacon instead of what i usually made him which was waffles. I was too tired, I felt like everything I did wouldn’t mean anything to him and that hurt so much.
"Calm down Adira.” Ava said, she was my wolf and my only supporter sometimes.
"Why won’t he just accept us?” I asked her, since she decided to talk to me for once.
"I wish I knew, his wolf doesn’t even talk to me anymore.” She replied, whimpering at the fact we were unwanted.
“Good morning honey.” John said, he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
“Good morning, I made you bacon and eggs today.” I said smiling, pretending I was alright.
“No signature waffles today?” He asked, I shook my head.
“I’m feeling a little under the weather, nothing big.” I replied, he nodded showing no interest in my health.
“They taste just as delicious.” He said, but only ate half a plate and went to put it where he always did.
“Please finish.” I said coldly, he looked at me in surprise.
“I really have to get going honey.” He replied, I glared at him.
“Then cook your own supper and breakfeast if you NEVER finish it.” I growled, and stopped out of the room sitting on the couch.
“Honey, don’t be like that.” He said, there was anger in his voice.
“Be like what? Your mate who cooks for you and slaves for you just for zero appreciation!?” I yelled, he glared at me and grabbed my wrist.
“You will NOT talk to me like that.” He spoke, using Beta command.
“You WILL not talk me like that either.” I said matching his command, he growled.
“Ungrateful bitch.” He said, slamming his breakfeast onto the ground and leaving the house.
“I hate you.” I sobbed, I fell to the ground rubbing the sore wrist that had bruised.
“He really doesn’t love us.” Ava said, I ignored her not believing what was right infront of me.
“We just got to try harder, it hasn’t been long enough and work is stressful.” I replied, cleaning up the food and glass.
“Whatever.” Ava replied, growling and hiding in the back of my mind.
I felt hurt, broken and sad because he had never acted that way before yet I had never demanded anything from him? Is this the man I had fell in love with? Is this what I accepted?