Who We Are: College

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Ticking. Time. Bomb.

As Thanksgiving came, Edd became restless. His time with Kevin had been everything far from ideal. He seemed troubled.

Over the last couple of weeks, Kevin's health had deteriorated. He was barely eating, barely sleeping and he had even gotten sick enough to be taken to a doctor. Edd had placed most of his works on hold to help him, to tend him... but it only seemed to have made Kevin get worse. He knew Kevin felt guilty of him having to stop his work. Kevin would consider himself a burden. But... he just couldn't leave him like this. He loved him far too much. It pained Edd to watch Kevin like this.

Thankfully, he had recovered by this day. As Eddy drove the quartet, talk had been scarce and Kevin idled in a healthier state out the window. Edd sat beside him, gloomy and worried.

"Dont worry."

Edd felt a strong and large hand grab his head, rubbing it... but a bit distant.

Edd: "We're almost there Kevin."
Kevin: "Yeah..."


Thanksgiving was met with a tense and pained air. It wasn't the celebration anyone expected... nor wanted.

While the feast was elaborated by May, everyone gathered in Rolf's backyard for the occasion... almost everyone. Everyone was silent and Rolf didn't even make any of his "cultural culinary experiences" as May served the food with Ed. They really tried to cheer everyone up, with little success.

Edd was the one who felt the worst. Despite Nazz's, Mary's and everyone's best wishes he couldn't stop feeling guilty. As he stared from the hearty banquet to Kevin's home, he couldn't help but worry about him. There was no more screaming at least.

Hour before, when they arrived, Kevin stared at his house with both fear and determination as they took their stuff out from Eddy's car. Edd felt he should've noticed, he should've anticipated. But Kevin had opposed him, had asked him to stay out of it. He understood Kevin wanted to always protect him... but he felt he could've done more... he could've supported him.

The first day, was happy. Meeting and greeting everyone at the Cul, visiting the Kankers (Kevin wasn't annoyed about them any more). Everyone helped out in organizing the following day, moving tables and cooking utensils toward's Rolf's backyard- even tho he insisted that the best cooking was done with one's own hands, feet, sweat and the blessing of mother earth. Everyone shivered and Jimmy barely managed to hold in a barf at last year's memory.

Preparations went to dark and May agreed to come back in the morning to start cooking- forcing Rolf to swear on his grandmother's memory to not start ANY of his cooking endeavors until she got there. Everyone couldn't help but chuckle at the Kanker gene and personality kicking in from the shortest of the sisters. Kevin, however, had his sights elsewhere. That was when Edd should've noticed, should've done... something.

It hurt to look back on it, to not have him beside him. He felt arms wrap around his neck, hugging him warmly... it hurt.

"Cheer up Double D"

A sweet, juvenile voice. Sarah. Unexpected, but Edd couldn't help but smile. Everyone stood up after her, easing Edd's heart and mind. Jokes, hugs or just casual chat... they tried to take his mind off the gray subject. Edd felt thankful... for such great friends. Their efforts worked like a charm... at least for what the meal lasted. As Edd walked back to his house, alone, he looked back at Kevin's home. It was dark and dead silent.

It wasn't that silent hours ago. He didn't know which was worse. Last night, when Kevin had gone back home, the Cul heard the yells from inside the house; grave (the father) and strong (Kevin). The yells extended for an hour, then there was silence, but the lights stayed up for a while longer. Then... came morning, Kevin never left the house. People watched as a fuming father and a sobbing mother moved towards Edd's home. Edd froze at that image, Eddy quick in taking him in for the day. Edd knew what that event meant... and it worried him even more. Even as he was about to enter his home, he knew what had happened.

The yells which came from Edd's home earlier where unilateral. Shrieks and grave shouts burst out and exposed to all Edd's fear. Edd had wanted to tell about his relationship to everyone... at least to their group of friends... but not like this. Not with a scandal.

Edd was glad he had "the talk" with his parents months ago. He was even happier of their reaction. His... somewhat absent parents had embraced him with open arms. They loved him regardless of the circumstances; they believed in him, and that he had to make his own life. His scientific and workaholic parents... understood him. Sadly... not all were that lucky.

As Edd opened the door, his parents were waiting for him.

"Hello Mother, Hello Father."

"Goodnight Eddward."

"Take a seat honey... we need to talk."

Edd felt the blood flush from his face. He slowly took a seat, his heart pumping painfully in his chest. His parents had never been so stern and serious in their conversations, especially with him. He feared the worst.

"About Kevin..."


The sight of Kevin startled everyone, especially Edd. His eyes were blank as he stormed out of his home, filled with rage. A couple hours before, there had been more yells. As he walked over to Eddy's car, no one said anything, not even him. Not even a smile.

No one had seen him in nearly the whole week. By the end of it... most had already gone back to their own lives. However, those most surprised were Sarah, Nazz and Mary. Nazz's face flushed as she held close to Eddy, while Mary and Sarah covered their mouths in shock. Sarah, true to her self, glared at the parents who stood by the open door. These, however, had their sights on someone else. Edd.

Edd's eyes were watery as he watched Kevin walk up to them with 2 duffelbags. He dropped them into the trunk and opened the back seat. Not a single word. Edd stared at the back of his head with pain and surprise. A black eye, a busted lip... his body fell slightly to the left. Everyone both stared with anger at the two figures standing by the door of the Barbs home and avoided staring at them. They climbed into the car quickly.

"Fucking pieces of..."

Eddy shifted gears angrily after backing up from his driveway, his cursing stopped by a firm grip from his co-pilot. The blonde's gaze said it all and Eddy simply grunted as he drove off as calmly as he could. Edd watched through the rear window as Kevin's parents slammed the door behind them. His heart sank. Not by his parent's reaction, but by what he saw next.

The car's atmosphere grew heavy... weighing down on all of their hearts. The once "bully", the confident and strong kid who always seemed to have anger management issues, for the first time since they had met him... cried. It wasn't a sob, it wasn't audible... his tears streamed down his cheeks as he stared blankly out the car window. Something inside of him had simply vanished, a spark extinguished. He felt honestly, completely and utterly alone. Edd, sitting beside him could only hug him, as best he could. He felt so distant, as if his Kevin wasn't there anymore. His heartbeat was so empty... hollow.

For the ride back there was no sound other than the car's engine. Eddy was out of his witty and snarky comments. Nazz had lost her usual peppy and energetic vibe. Edd was lost of words... more than ever. It was a long and silent ride.

Reaching back into Campus grounds didn't make anything better. Nazz and Eddy helped Edd get his things out of the car and left soon after, wishing him the best of luck. Their concern was plastered across their face. Kevin had simply gotten out of the car and walked out towards his dorms, duffelbags on his back. Silent. Edd was unsure of what to do, his mind had for once stopped concerning itself on analyzing and understanding; instead, he wished to know how he could make him feel better. Yet, his parent's talk rung in his subconscious... echoing into his rational mind.

Edd decided to give Kevin some space as he settled his clothes back into their drawers in his dorm. As he walked over to Kevin's dorm, he pondered on what to say. There was a myrad of possibilities... most of which he wished to avoid. He hoped he would just comfort him with some small talk. Maybe get a small smile from him. He could only hope for such things.

As he stared at the door, he took a deep breath. He knocked twice. There was a pause, a pause which seemed eternal and daunting. The door opened slowly as Kevin seemed to silently and uncaringly invite him in. Edd didn't feel like other times, he didn't feel welcome. The two duffelbags lay beside one of the beds, clothes scattered around. Kevin was always messy, but he was never this kind of a wreck. This... was almost purposeful. Edd's eyes catch 2 open suitcases beside the desk as his mind questioned the state of the place. He immediately knew.

"Kevin... what..."
"None of your business."

Those words... stung. Edd swallowed the pain.

"I know...but... i worry, Kevin. You should..."

The roughness with which his soft yet firm lips felt on his only startled Edd as he lept a step back, his cheeks burning and his clenched fists raised to his chest. He felt hot and his mind was blurry... it felt... good... alluring, sensual. Was this what...

"Kevin..."

As Edd tried to shake himself from the daze, Kevin pressed foward. One hand beside Edd's face, firmly on the wall and the other wrapping behind his waist, lifting him slightly, made his escape impossible. He felt like a girl as their lips met... and he found it irresistible. His body and muscles pressed against his, his hands finding his solid pecs. He couldn't control his actions as his motions quarreled between wanting to push him away and wanting to keep him closer. As his eyes slowly closed in the heat of the moment, he slowly remembered the echo of that conversation.

"Kevin..."

Edd bites his lower lip as he feels their lips part and his find the skin under his jawline. He feels his hands slide down his clothes, his thumbs caressing his naked skin over the hem of his jeans. As he feels the chilly air kiss the skin slowly being exposed by his partner's actions, Edd reacts. He gives a surprised and startled firm shove to Kevin, making him stumble a couple steps back as he fell backon the wall, gasping for air. The two stair at each other... their gazes were different.

"Kevin..."
"What? Wasn't this what you wanted?"

Edd stared at him confused.

"What i wanted?"
"I told my parents, i told them about us, about what i feel. Congratz, you got a boyfriend now Edd."

Edd shook his head in concern.

"Kevin... no. I didn't want a boyfriend, i wanted US to be happy"
"Well, look how that turned out."
"Are... you blaming..."
"Well, you seem all happy and have a nice fucking happy family. What i got?! A fucking beating!"

Kevin grabbed a basketball laying around and threw it violently at the wooden doors of his closet. They break and shiver slowly open by the impact. Edd covers his ears and head in surprise and startled.

"Kevin!"
"I have no fucking family Edd!"
"You know what THEY called me?!"
"You have any idea the shit they gave me?!"
"Huh!?"
"No! You dont! You dont know shit what my life is like. Or what my family is like! You should've seen the faces they made when i told them. Like i wasn't their son, like i was some monster, a hideous, sickening thing that had come into their house."

Kevin's screams and enraged behaviour simply froze Edd against the wall, hands up to his head in a defensive position. He was scared...why?

As Kevin slowly cooled down he looked over at Edd with pain.

"I'm running away."
"Where?"
"Dont know... but i'm not letting my parents know where i am or how they can find me."

Kevin threw his phone against the wall, shattering it.

"Kevin!"
"What?!"

Kevin swerved at Edd, staring at the frightened boy who raised his hands up defensively, instinctively. He snapped. Kevin walked up towards him and grabbed his arms firmly as he pushed him up against the wall. Edd struggled and moaned in pain.

"Kevin... Kevin it hurts."
"What? Think i'd hurt you? Huh? Think i'm a monster too."
"Kevin... stop."
"What? Dont you want me too?"
"Kevin!"

Edd squealed as he closed his eyes and braced himself as best he could as Kevin's face got closer and closer to him. Furious, Kevin shoved him down on the floor. Edd curled up as he rubbed his forearms, Kevin's strong grip had imprinted on his skin.

"What's happening to you?"
"I dont know! I'm hated by my fucking family?! I got beat up because my father was sick of watching me?! You tell me!"

Edd shivered as Edd paced himself aroud the room. He screamed and immediately collapsed on his bed. He cried, again. Slowly, Edd got up and moved towards him.

"I wish i wasn't born. It hurts. It really fucking hurts."
"I'm sorry."

Edd whispered as he sat next to the boy and moved his hand slowly to caress his head.

"I was afraid they'd do something to you. But you have no idea of how they looked at him."
"Sorry."
"Why? Why Edd? Why am i stuck in this shitty life?!"

He sobbed and Edd could only swallow as he couldn't find the words to comfort him with.

"I'm here, Kevin."
"And you'll tell me that together we'll work things out? HOW?! How, when the problem is exactly that?! That i'm WITH you! That WE are a fucking gay couple Edd. That's the whole fucking problem!"

The words pierced like knives into Edd's heart and he felt his lips quiver as a couple tears fell down his face onto his lap. He quickly pulled a handkerchief out and tried to wipe them away.

"You... you dont mean that..."
"Why not? Maybe if nothing of this had happened i'd still have a family."

Edd could barely take the pain those words carved into him.

"Then... maybe i should just go."
"Yeah... maybe..."

Edd bit his lips as he sniffled and tried to wipe his tears.

"Maybe... we should end this."
"End what..."
"Us..."

Silence.

"You know... when your parents came to talk to my parents... they gave me a talk afterwards."
"That i was a bad influence? That my family was a bunch a loonies? To stay away from me?"
"Not exactly. They were worried... about me... about us. That... if you suffered because of your family you'd lash out at me."

Silence.

"I told them... that i trusted that we could work things out... that i'd support you and help you. My parents got really worried when i said that... told me you'd make me suffer. I felt like a girl at that moment."

The two left out a pained chuckle as Edd sat giving his back to the laying Kevin.

"I didn't think it'd hurt this much."
Tears streamed down his cheeks. He got up.

"If you want me to leave... say it. I only want you to be happy Kev."

Kev, he had never called him a nickname before.

"I promise i'll... go away and... and never come back... nor bother you..."
Kevin slowly sat up on his bed, looking at the sobbing Edd who looked down at the floor.
"I'll try my best, even if it hurts, but i promise i'll let you be. I'll stay away... i promise..."
Edd slowly got up and moved towards him.
"I'll... i'll move away... or make you never see me... and i'll..."
Edd cried as he felt a firm hand settle on the back of his head, pulling close to a warm body. He cried as he hugged the boy who had lashed out on him.
"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"Nah... i'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't had said all that. I was being stupid."
"Words hurt...i hurt."
"i know...i'm sorry. But... well..."

He pushes Edd away for a moment and chuckles as the boy had a little bit of eyeliner smudges around his eyes. He had never noticed that until today. His Edd used eyeliner... no wonder his eyes always looked so sharp and big. He chuckles at the thought.

"What?"
"You got... a bit of..."
As Kevin motioned his hands to his eyes, Edd immediately lifts his handkerchief to try and clean a bit of the make up off. Kevin laughs.
"It's not funny!"
"Sorry sorry..."
He looks at him lovingly and pulls him close for a hug.
"Well... it's... you and me now. My parents will want your head."
"I got you... i know you'll keep me safe."
"Yeah... already took a beating for you."
Edd punches his chest angrily, but he knew it wasn't hard. They chuckle.

"So... what now?"
Edd asks as he pushes himself away from Kevin for a moment.
"Well... i cant stay here."
"We can ask any of the others..."
"Yeah... yeah... we'll figure it out."

Kevin leans fowards and pressed his lips softly on Edd's. Edd smiles as he wraps his arms around his neck.

"Yeah... we will..."
The two chuckle as they look into each other's eyes, Edd passing a loving hand over the bruised eye, concern on his face. Kevin grabs his hand as he kisses it and nuzzles it for a moment. He felt better. He felt he could take on the world if he was with him.

As their bodies fell on the bed covers, their lips interlocking into a passionate dance, Kevin felt a weight lift off his shoulders. It hurt, but he was finally free. He knew now who he was... and what he wanted. As he looked down at a gasping Edd, he smiled and kissed him once more, his tongue writhering in slowly and sensually. This was their first night as a couple... officially.
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