Who We Are: College

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Heat

Edd: W-W-Where is L-L-Lyon?

Kevin: tcht, dunno, the doofus left for a study group or something he had forgotten.
Edd: Oh, t-t-that is q-q-quite irresponsible of h-h-him. H-H-Hope he makes it in time.

Edd had his arm wrapped around himself as he tried to regain heat and elevate his body temperature. He was freezing, and he was thankful the thermostat was raised, making the room quite warm.

Kevin: Oh. Man you are freezing! Didn't you come prepared?
Edd: N-N-Not quite. I-I slipped my mind on how cold it gets in Oct...

Before he could finish Edd felt a hard muscular body pressed against his. Edd's head on his chest, a great heat coursed his body, he felt better, much better, very comfortable, he could've dozed off. Edd's mind was the first to react, snapping itself to the regulations of social norms or those considered normal behavior, especially towards friends.

Edd: Kevin...

Kevin separated his body from Edd's, but still held him in a small embrace as they both stared at each other deeply.

Kevin: You better Double D?

Edd nodded dumbly with an open mouth. He was not himself at the moment, and his mind was only functioning properly in keeping him alive. All his thoughts swarmed.

Kevin: Ok. Let me hang your coat and we'll start, ok?

Kevin let go of Edd, who still only stared dumbly with his open mouth at him. He didn't move. Kevin easily took Edd's leather furry black jacket off him and hung it carefully on the back of his chair. He knew how much Edd cared for his stuff so he had to treat it the same way.

The jacket was hung carefully on the back of the black leather chair. It was hung in such a way that the shoulder pads kept their frame, the sides were perfectly parallel and folded right on their creases, the back was flat and though it was unzipped it looked clean, polished and cared. Edd stared admiringly at Kevin as he did this careful process. It showed he cared. Cared? Edd's mind fell once more into a spiraling battle of logic as to why would he think of Kevin in such ways that go against standard behavior. It was all silenced as he gazed at the jacket...his past.

Kevin: Care to join me?

Edd turned his eyes to Kevin once more, he hadn't looked at him properly. Green hoodie he so dearly remembered, the long baggy pants he considered more pajamas than anything else, bare footed with some distinct red hairs. He looked adorable. As Edd reevaluated the usage of such adjective for a friend, he noticed Kevin was on his bed, laptop out in front of him, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Kevin quickly grabbed the bag that was on his desk in front of his bed. Edd wasn't moving, and actually looked more like a lost animal. Kevin was amused and found him absolutely adorable. He pulled two burgers from inside the bag, and looked straight at Double D. He knew what would make him react.

Kevin: Hey Double Dork, catch!

At this, Kevin flung a very precise hamburger to Edd's forehead, and it hit dead on.

Edd: OW!

After the hit, the hamburger managed to land straight on Edd's hands. Still rubbing his forehead Edd, moved toward's Kevin's side- placing his stuff on the desk and pouring Kevin his beverage. It was just a small detail Edd wanted to give him as a way of thanks and because he got a weird pleasure of knowing and seeing Kevin enjoy it so much. Edd was unaware why but he had been getting weird around Kevin lately. He was conscious of it, yet he couldn't avoid it and...despite his knowledge on social norms and behavior, he enjoyed it.

Edd: I brought you your beverage Kevin. Double Mocha Latte with hazelnut and no foam.
Kevin: OH wow! Thanks Double D, though could you not say it as if it's an order at the coffee shop?
Edd: Oh my, please excuse me Kevin. I was unaware i was...

Edd had gotten nervous. He had bowed his head and moved his head to avoid looking at Kevin as he apologized, and Kevin was aware. Kevin automatically grabbed his drink from his hands, making their fingers touch, and placing the other hand on his mouth, shutting him and raising his head at the same time. Eye contact made, both felt as if time stopped and stayed in that position god knows how much time. Kevin finally took his hand off Edd's mouth, and Edd let go of the drink. They were back in reality, though both had blushed crimson.

Kevin: Umm, Lyon and I bought quite some hamburgers, so don't worry. We have quite some food for tonight.
Edd: Oh, dont worry Kevin. After all, today we must finish your study so you may do great in your exam.
Kevin: Really? Cause I thought that, if i proved that i know most of my stuff, we could maybe hang out tonight.

Hang out?! Edd was drunk and mesmerized at the thought. He would get to HANG OUT with Kevin- an action only friends did. At the thought of Kevin actually acknowledging him as a friend Edd nearly blurted out his approval.

Edd: EXCELENT! I mean, i find that a very adequate proposal.

Kevin laughed.

Kevin: Ok, Double Dork. Fire away.

Edd quickly got his material out of his messenger bag, arranging them neatly on Kevin's desk. He thought of a very efficient method where he could ask and test Kevin his knowledge.

Edd: Give me 5 minutes and i'll arrange something.
Kevin: 5 minutes huh? I'll finish my burger then.

With an idea of how he would do this exercise and test, he quickly searched key points, annotations, notes and images on the textbook and online on his laptop. Nothing elaborate or complicated, but certainly college level. Though he wished dearly that Kevin would get everything right so they would hang out, he also wished Kevin not only to pass but to ace his exam.

5 minutes later, Edd was ready and he looked at Kevin slightly and a soft smile on his face. Kevin only looked back at him and understood the challenge, raising his chest and grinning back at him.

Kevin: Bring it on.


9:30, it had taken them roughly half an hour to start between Edd preparing the material, the chat and the...moment, but an hour had passed since Kevin started Double D's challenge. Kevin wasn't acing it as Edd wished, but he was doing well and Edd was pleased at his performance. The two boys had been at an interactive Q&A for the past hour. Kevin rejoiced on his drink Edd brought him; Edd was enjoying dearly the hamburgers he and Lyon had bought. It was a fine study night and Kevin had proven his own personal study had given fruits. Edd closed the book as Kevin answered the last question successfully, thus concluding the trial.

Kevin: So...how did i do?

Kevin was not the confident athlete at the moment. To Edd's eyes, he was a scared kid about to be given his final grade, or young man waiting for a jury's verdict. He seemed like a man who not only knew him ...but a man who believed and trusted him. Edd felt jealous honestly. Edd wished he could correspond that level of trust. Grabbing hold of his beanie, remembering THAT incident, Edd calmed himself and answered Kevin with full honesty.

Edd: Well, you must study more Kevin.

Kevin: AH FUCK!

Edd: Hold on!

Kevin threw himself backwards and layed himself on his bed. He was irritated and pissed. He had stayed up all night not only to study the subject, but to impress Double D. Kevin had always needed him, always made him help him, made him give him the easy way outs...but he didn't want Edd to think of him as stupid- a meat head. Sure, he was not equal to him, Edd was a bloody genius, but at least he wanted to change that which had been their relationship and make him his friend.

Edd: KEVIN!

Kevin lifted himself from the bed, still angry, but remorse had faded from his mind.

Edd: Kevin, if you want to ace the subject you'll need to study the questions you missed. I even placed a marker on each one here in your book, and i already sent the images i used to your email.

Kevin grabbed the book from Edd's hands, checking the markers Edd had placed. They weren't many, not as much as the questions Edd had asked him.

Edd: But...

A "but". Kevin wasn't expecting a "but". It was pass and fail always in his life, in his mind, in his way of thinking...a "but" meant...

Edd: With the amount of time and knowledge you have acquired, you will pass the exam.

Kevin stood from his bed.

Kevin: Are you sure Double D? I mean, i missed a lot of questions. I know they don't seem like many in what you marked but...are you sure?
Edd: Positive

Kevin smiled and lightened up at the sound of that. He was overjoyed, and he owed it all to him...to the man in front of him which (over the years) had always found a way to teach him even the hardest or most boring subjects. Kevin couldn't contain himself and he sprinted to Edd and hugged him, burying his face in the other's neck. He made sure he wasn't pressing hard, and he muttered "thank you" a stupid amount of times. Edd, on the other hand, was shocked. Such a reaction over such a simple activity, he never could've imagined it...he was intrigued. Yet, instead of the intrigue and his scientific brain to kick in and analyze Kevin...he instead felt a warm caring feeling deep inside him. Something much more primal and hence, powerful. Edd, felt a warm sensation come from within him as he let his arms and hands find their way instinctively around the other manly, muscular and warm body pressed against his.

He held him, hugged him back...he felt hot now. Edd bobbed his head and rested it over Kevin's placing them in a loving embrace where a new line in their relationship was forming. A line which would have to be treaded with great care, and neither was aware of it.

As Edd lost his wits and rationality, succumbing to passion and pure emotion, he was snapped back by the voice of Kevin once again.

Kevin: Uhm...dude...are you ok?

Edd opened his eyes to find a very crimson yet gorgeous face with a military cut red hair looking back at him. He was still oblivious to the fact that Kevin had moved from the embrace and they had ended in a position where his (Edd's) head was resting on his neck.

Edd: Yeah, i'm fine.

Eye contact, green brilliant eyes like jades stared back into deep blue dark eyes. He was losing it, Edd had to admit it...Kevin changed him. It was not changing as making him a new better man...it just made him stop being who he was, and where he was, and when he was. Was this because he...

Kevin: Double D?

Edd snapped back, train of thought lost...like a dream. Immediately, he even became aware of the position in which they were...so compromising and socially incorrect.

Edd: Dear me, i'm terribly sorry Kevin. I...if i made you uncomfortable...
Kevin: Oh shut up will you!

Edd was blushing, brightly, and had became a bag of nerves and a shaking mess. Kevin loved when he got that way. So weak, he wanted to protect him. His ears were burning now, Kevin became aware of it. It meant he was blushing brightly too. As Kevin hid his face, Edd tried breathing in deeply to calm himself. He had to take control of his body once more.

Kevin: So, we had a deal right?

Edd was still half way through his meditation (per se), but he was still in enough control to not lose his mind over such comment. His rational mind quickly understood what Kevin was asking him, what agreement he meant and everything else.

Edd: Yes. We may hang out as you please. Though... I would be greatly thankful to you if we did not have to leave your room. I find it too chilling outside for the moment, and...
Kevin: Yeah, yeah. I know. Edd. Don't worry, besides...i was planing on watching a movie.
Edd: Splendid idea Kevin, may i ask what selection you have for us tonight?
Kevin: Well...that's the problem. I have a various assortment of movies, mostly action. Lyon has a grand collection of gore, horror and suspense (the lunatic)...
Edd: Kevin! He's your roommate.
Kevin: Hence i have all the right to call him what i wish.

Edd sighed deeply.

Edd: But, be respectful.
Kevin: Ugh, fine, i'm sorry...he's a nutcase.
Edd: Still offensive. But, less aggressive. Go on.
Kevin: Thanks, so i want to know what you like of movies, or which genre you like.

Edd's eyes widened and glistened at the comment. SO manny options and genres exist in the movie business. From animated to real people, he just enjoyed them all. Whether big screen or individual production, Edd considered movies a pleasure of life and he was very thorough in the analysis of each to evaluate it. What would he like to watch? What he liked? He was never asked such a question...he needed to tell Kevin everything.

Edd: Oh my, where do i start! Well, as you may know movies started out...

Kevin quickly covered Edd's mouth with his two hands. He had wide eyes and looked like he had realized he had made a dreadful mistake (which he had).

Kevin: I'm sorry Edd, but i completely forgot who i was talking to and inviting. Don't take me wrong, but i think i'll choose the movie myself...Ok?

Edd calmed his excitement and nodded agreeingly.
Kevin: Great, i was thinking of a classic. How about...The Departed?

A modern classic, 2006, Martin Scorsese, a memorable crew and charactor line up, Edd was thrilled at the idea and he (sadly) had seen so little of the classics, both modern and old. He didn't have that much free time on his hands. Edd smiled, both internally and externally, shacking his head frantically as Kevin still had his hands over his mouth. He chuckled.

Kevin: Sorry, Double D.

Kevin took his hands off Edd's mouth and moved to his computer on his bed. Edd was excited and he only moved swiftly to his computer to check some details, turn it off and finish his burger (possibly grab another one).

As Kevin prepared everything, Edd prepared everything for tomorrow, his agenda, activities (he would do yoga) and checked his email. He was surprised his email was quite stacked; emails from professors at the laboratories asking over his projects, teammates arranging study groups for projects, classmates sending notices and invites for study groups on subjects (he had agreed to some)...and a personal email...which he still hadn't and wouldn't read (surely eddy's). Double D, arranged everything as quick and efficient as possible, leaving the personal email to later since he had already seen Eddy, and since a second email hadn't been sent it was surely him. Backing it all up to his cellphone, so he would always have it all at hand, he faced Kevin. Kevin was standing up, turning the light's out except for the bedside desk lamp with a flexible neck. Everything was ready, and Edd found his heart racing for the movie and watching it with Kevin. Why with Kevin? His mind raced again in a self examination of emotions, feelings, bodily behavior...but he was stopped.

Kevin: Double D, come on man, the movie is ready.
Edd: Be right there.

Edd didn't wish to delay Kevin any longer, he quickly made his way to Kevin's bed, twin size, for barely two people...he and Kevin would be very close to each other, bodies pressed against each other possibly. Edd made such ideas go away and quickly hopped into bed with Kevin, shoes off of course. As the movie started Edd not only got excited but quickly got detached from his surroundings...oblivious to everything. He was only aware he was watching a modern classic he wished to see, and he was seeing it with his new old friend Kevin. Edd felt warm, safe and protected, and as he hugged one of Kevin's pillow for comfort, he felt his back warm and against a soft, firm surface...probably a blanket, Kevin was so thoughtful.

12:30: it had been nearly over 2 and a half hours since they started the movie and it was finally coming to an end. The two boys watched attentively as the movie came to the credits. Kevin was very cool and he always enjoyed the movie, Edd was more of an emotional ball. Edd enjoyed movies always to the extent of loving or hating them, bringing his emotions to flourish and to his criticisms to be very precise and drastic on the matter. When it came to movies, Edd could've gone for being a critic, but it wasn't his passion. But, today, The Departed would make it to his archive of modern best movies. Edd was near tears at the end, he loved it so much. The character development, plot, the mystery, the drama, action, everything was perfectly executed, perfectly acted, it was a masterpiece. Edd was marveled at the movie, so much he hadn't noticed what had happened and why he had felt so comfortable. He was so warm. Having ended the movie Edd was aware how comfortable he was in that bed.

Kevin: So...did you like it?
Edd: Like it? I loved it! It will easily be registered as a reference for my personal archive of greatest modern movies.
Kevin: You have an archive?!
Edd: Well...kinda, i mean i haven't had time to see many movies but i always write down, classify and rate every single one i watch.

Kevin chuckled.

Kevin: Sometimes i forget who you are. Always such a dork.

Edd fell silent, and simply frowned as the comment sunk into him.

Kevin: Hey, hey...i actually meant that as a compliment Double D. It's how you are...what makes you special. Well, at least to me it does.

Those words, such an order and the meaning. Was Edd's mind playing tricks or did he really hear those words come from Kevin's mouth? Suddenly he became very aware of his surroundings and his body.

Edd had felt warm all this time. More than any quilt, comforter, sheets or cover would offer for one simple reason...it was body heat. Kevin's right arm was wrapped around him, a little over the waist, Edd had never felt him. It wasn't an embrace nor a hug nor was he squishing him, it was more like tenderly holding him, protective and strong. Kevin was also more laying on his side now than his stomach, he had a pillow folded in two for more bulk and height where he had his arm which held his head in his palm. Thus showing the source of the heat warming Edd, he had been resting and nuzzling on Kevin's chest and body which emit a strong heat. In such a position, Edd would usually feel trapped or being prey of a bigger beast, but he actually felt safe, comfy even drowsy. It was as if he could stay like this for hours or days and rest and relax... forget the world. What was wrong with him? Another surge of thought. Edd was confused, yet perhaps this could offer him answers. Answers to questions he had two years ago. Yet again, Kevin was talking to him, he can't ignore him.

Edd: Kevin?

Edd rolled over, laying on his back on the bed, he wanted to see Kevin. Kevin had been focusing on his computer all the movie, slightly watching at Edd who had allowed him to hold him with his arm. Now that the movie had ended, Kevin was surprised Edd hadn't reacted nor rejected him. But, when Edd turned, Kevin feared a confrontation. The rounded, smooth and cared face looked relaxed and heavenly in the dim light offered by the lamp and laptop screen, and he was looking up straight at Kevin. He looked almost girly, yet Kevin could feel his firm yet not muscular nor stiff body like his. It was fragile, yet toned...delicate. Kevin could almost hug him or kiss him, but Kevin flinched and shivered at the thought. He couldn't hide that reaction from the one with him.

Edd: You ok Kevin?
Kevin: Yeah, yeah. It's nothing Double D.
Edd: Really? You know, we could talk it out...we are friends right? Friends hear each other out and assess or share opinions on various subjects or solutions towards problems or doubts each other...

Kevin shushed Edd with a single finger to the lips.

Kevin: You talk too much sometimes.

That phrase. It took Edd back two years, to an event his conscience had omitted and ignored for all this time. Edd had snapped out of his trance, and watched everything objectively again. Kevin, still with his finger over Edd's lips, noticed the other's eyes widen, yet he was unaware of the reason. Something inside him felt warm and right when being with him. As Edd pushed away his body's automatic reaction to analyze and assess his body's reactions and emotions toward Kevin, he noticed Kevin's eyes looking at him tenderly, lovingly, caring...or was he imagining it?

A surge of thought, again. Edd quickly posponed it. He was becoming more aware of his body. His legs were intertwined with Kevin's, feet rubbing each other through the fabric of the socks; Kevin's were actually dry and Edd always made sure his were too and had no odors, so Edd felt and had no grossing reaction. It was quite miraculous considering his background and how neat and clean he liked everything. Having shifted his position Edd could also notice the Kevin had adjusted in such a way in which their heads where at the same "height". Kevin had his legs bent a bit so Edd and his legs and feet could touch and be intertwined, yet they could have a face to face conversation without the necessity of Edd moving his neck to meet his slightly taller figure.

Edd was marveled at how oblivious he had been to all these details and, as he thought about it, he felt a little itch on his head. As he scratched his head over his beanie, Edd felt it slightly loose, and it was. A lock of his black hair was out, right on his right forehead. It was a long black hair, silky, smooth and clustered, he despised it and fell in absolute shock as to how it happened. If Kevin had seen it, had done it, had felt it...

Kevin watched as Edd scratched his head, felt his loose lock of black hair which he (Kevin) had been toying and teasing with the whole movie under the beanie and, finally, watched as Edd made a horrified face and pulled his beanie right down his head. Covering down to his eyebrows, he squealed (almost girlishly).

Kevin: Hey, hey, easy there Double D.

As he said this Kevin got up from his position, breaking all the bond and entangling they had and had been keeping them so close. He was worried, and he was also worried of his neighbors and, perhaps, what security of the dorms would do if that squeal had been too loud.

Kevin: Double D, are you ok? Are you hurt? Talk to me, like you said, friends talk to each other.

Being hit with his own logic, Edd actually regained control once again, soothing himself.

Edd: I'm sorry Kevin, i just don't like people to look at my hair.

As Edd said this he also sat up on Kevin's bed. He sat straight; which actually made him and Kevin be at an even height since Kevin slouched slightly when he sat. No posture nor lumbar support.

Kevin: And why is that? You know i've already...
Edd: Let's not talk about it! I'm very sorry of what you saw, and i really hope it didn't change the way you see me for the worse. It-it's just...
Kevin: Lovely?
Edd: Dreadful. Don't tease me Kevin. My hair is...
Kevin: Gorgeous?
Edd: KEVIN! It's not a joke!
Kevin: Who's joking?
Edd: But you saw it! My hair...it's...
Kevin: Long, black, smooth, soft and...and i like it.

Edd blushed pink, such a reaction, such words towards his hair...were unprecedented. Even two years ago, no good comments had been given towards his hair...yet again, the subject was never touched.

Edd: Really?
Kevin: Yeah

Kevin wasn't blushing he was dead serious, that was the reason Edd had taken the compliment and...even grown a little of self confidence. If Kevin, who he'd known all his life, who teased him, bullied him, and now cared for him and was his friend said it...it had a great deal of truth. But, every Cinderella story comes to and end, and for some subconscious reason Edd checked his digital watch: 1 AM.

Edd: Oh god! Look at the time!
Kevin: Oh yeah, at what time do you usually go back to your place?
Edd: 11?
Kevin: Well it's just...2 hours late? What time do you get up?
Edd: 5?
Kevin: WHY?!
Edd: Coffeshop? Dear god Kevin, do you not know...
Kevin: Yeah yeah, i do. It's just that...well...
Edd: Well what Kevin? Is there something that's unsettling you or that you don't understand or agree with?
Kevin: It's nothing Double D. Come on, i'll walk you to your dorm.
Edd: Hmmmm, let me get my stuff.
Kevin: Oh, hey, that jacket is too light for you, use this.

Edd had gotten out of bed and was already arranging his stuff in his bag when Kevin threw at him a slightly thick green sweater much like the one he was wearing. It was clean, almost freshly washed, apparently Kevin also liked his clothes to be very clean...quite admiring.

Edd: Thanks Kevin, but I don't think i should accept your kind offer. It isn't...
Kevin: You are cold bodied and you were shaking when you came here cause you were freezing
Edd: ...Then again, i could come in handy.
Kevin: Hey Double Dork, i thought you were a genius, or was that just manly pride?

Kevin snickered and enjoyed the fact that he had just made Edd eat his words and change his way of viewing things.

Edd: Stop it Kevin, no one is perfect.
Kevin: Depends on the viewer.

Edd had already packed everything and had flung his messenger bag over his shoulder, but that comment stopped him cold.

Edd: S-Sorry, I believe i failed to hear you correctly Kevin.
Kevin: It's nothing. We're tired. It's just the tiredness talking
Edd: Fatigue.
Kevin: Whatever, lets go.

As Edd moved towards Kevin, who had his hand on the doorknob of the door, he was halted one last time. Edd had been carrying the sweater and jacket on his arms up to the moment. Kevin took both from him and lifted his arms, he then carefully and smoothly slid his green sweater on Edd and gave him his leather jacket back. Edd had to admit to himself that he was warm, the sweater helped enormously against the chill of the night, it warmed him and it smelled a lot like Kevin.

Edd: Thank you so much Kevin. When do you wish me to return it to you?
Kevin: Dont worry about it, if i need it i'll tell you to bring it over, ok?
Edd: That isn't very diplomatic is it?
Kevin: I'll call you.
Edd: Still one-sided, but i'll accept.

Kevin was serious and half glaring at Double D at the last little discussion.

Kevin: You know, sometimes you do get on my nerves double dork.
Edd: I'm...
Kevin: Don't apologize! It's not your fault and i didn't say it as something bad. Nobody's perfect right?

Attacked with his own logic, Edd had to give it to him. Kevin knew how to shut him up. As Kevin opened his dorm's door the two boys stepped out and made the walk back to Edd's dorms near the laboratories in the main body of campus dorms.

The walk had been short, but that was also cause the two boys had talked about the movie the whole walk and thus it also allowed them to learn a bit more about each other.

Kevin loved shooters and he also liked video games occasionally with friends. He was just a normal jock, but with a kind heart and a centered, modest head. Kevin wasn't the big shot type, and he also proved (like Edd) that he cared and nurtured his Cul-de-Sac friendships.

The subjects had been jumpy from that moment on, changing from individual to individual comparing data and information they had about each one. By the time the had reached Edd's dorm's though they had just entered the most heated and rich subject of them all...Nazz. Of course, Edd was unable to contain himself and asked Kevin if he knew anything about her. Kevin mentioned he still talked with her by text messages. That they didn't go out that much though. They had broken it off after prom (their formal relationship), she was accepted into the college near the city and other details. Of course, Edd mentioned Eddy was in the college of Nazz, and so the discussion started...rivalries don't die even through time. Kevin refused the idea of Nazz even looking at Eddy, his and eddy's feud with each other seemed like one taken from a tragic novel. But, the subject was drawn to a close by a "goodbye".

Edd: Well Kevin, i wish you best of luck in your exam, i'm sure you'll do great. You have the cheatcard i made for you just in case, but with what you've studied and what you will still, it's enough to ace it.
Kevin: Thanks Double D, i wouldn't have made it without you.
Edd: It's nothing really.
Kevin: So, when will you help me out again? How about tomorrow? Test me and if i improve, lets do something else.
Edd: As much as i find the proposition quite pleasing, i must refuse.
Kevin: Why is that?
Edd: I have made prior commitment with classmates and teammates for my own exams or midterm proyects. I'm terribly sorry.

Edd bowed his face in a typical Japanese manner of apologizing. It was the truth but he really longed to see Kevin again, yet again. He was afraid of how or why was his body betraying him and his judgment.

Kevin: Nah, don't worry. You have your own responsibilities.
Edd: We can still hang out. Weekend's coming soon.
Kevin: Go out?! Uh, well...yeah, i mean...what do you do weekends?
Edd: Not much, either go to my labs, or go out with Eddy, but...if you agree, I can change that.
Kevin: Uh, well...weekends i usually see Nazz...and...well i could also cancel...But, what do you want to do?
Edd: How about we agree up to today that we'll go out saturday? Sound's right to you?
Kevin: Yeah! I dig that.

Edd smiled and giggled at Kevin's so casual expression. He always found his fresh and sincere attitude quite endearing.

Edd: Ok, and we'll talk by messages what we'll do.
Kevin: Uh, yeah...could you give me your phone number?

The two boys quickly exchanged numbers under the light of the light post outside the dorms, it was a chilly night, yet there was a warm air around the two boys. Their laughter and joy of being with each other was genuine and pure, and as they shared phones they couldn't help but chat and tease a bit more. 1:30, Edd watched the hour on his phone and prompted Kevin it was late.

Edd: Well i'll see you saturday Kevin. Please study, i have faith in you.

At that, Edd flung himself and hugged him. Kevin was startled for a second, but he quickly reacted and hugged him back. A warm embrace, which Edd broke as he became aware he might lose his wits again.

Kevin: Well see ya Double D.
Edd: See you Saturday Kevin.
Kevin: Yeah, it's a date.

Edd had already give his back and walked half way up the flight of stairs for his dorms when he heard the shout. Both boys had frozen in place, as Kevin's heart raced, Edd's mind did...neither had an explanation or reaction for this incident.

Kevin: You know what I mean Double Dork!

Unfrozen, Kevin's quick thinking had saved them. As Edd turned to wave goodbye and nod in aceptance, he felt cold internally, as if a part of him faded. Kevin waved back and started walking back to his dorms alone. Edd looked after him from his position as far as he could see. It was late, it was cold and Edd needed to sleep. He would deal with his mental and emotional mess tomorrow. But, why did he feel something was missing? He felt slightly colder, he wanted that warmth again. That night Edd slept with Kevin's sweater on, it brought a slight comfort and warmth.

At the other side of campus (almost) Kevin had made it back to his dorm. He didn't get cold easily, so he had no problem in actually taking off his hoodie and leaving only his pajama pants on. Lyon had made it back, roughly perhaps a few minutes, still dressed, heavy sleep, he was knocked out on top of his bed. Kevin saw him and got reminded a bit of Edd. He moved towards his roomy, picked up his bed sheets and covered him. Then, Kevin sat on his own bed, it was peculiarly quite warm still. It was where Edd had laid and they had watched the movie. Kevin placed his face between his hands, and sighed, he was tired and confused.

Kevin: God Lyon, i don't know what's with me. I feel so strange, yet so happy...what is wrong with me? Why am i...doing this?

Lyon slightly fidgeted under the covers but he was far from being awake. If Kevin knew something well of his roomy, is that he slept like a rock. He wouldn't be waking up any time soon.

Kevin: Good night Lyon, at least you know who you are. Wish i could be like you. Wish i knew what i wanted.

Kevin closed his eyes and slept, dreamed of him being with someone. A shadow with whom he could laugh, be himself, be fun, smart, strong and fragile. He dreamed he had someone by his side.


For the rest of the week, the boys didn't see each other outside of the coffee shop. Kevin and Lyon visited Edd more frequently than they usually did, and peculiarly at hours when Edd still worked and manned the counter. Edd loved the fact that they visited him, they brought joy to his morning instead of the typical routine with which his mind and body would wake up and be prepared for the rest of the day.

On a bright side, Kevin had stayed constantly in contact via messages. Some where simple and silly, comments on class or practice and how he felt or how much he hated it. Kevin was always the same, but Edd lightened up with every message he received and read, but seeing him in the morning was the best. Though, Edd did get demanded to think a bit more than usual cause of Lyon. Kevin ordered and worshiped his double mocha latte with hazelnut and no foam, but Lyon, he always changed his order and he actually discussed with Edd what his options where. Edd didn't complain, it was his job and he enjoyed the mental exercise, still he always found it peculiar as to why Lyon never stayed with ONE drink.

The three boys laughed and teased each other, Lyon especially teased Kevin on a subject Edd felt it was a personal or inside joke between them. Kevin though swayed greatly in mood swings between a pleasure of being with Edd, annoyance cause of Lyon or just laughter and comradery with the both of them. Though it was rarely at the same time, the boys always came in as a surprise, this had continued for what was the rest of the week.

The week had been harsh. Final week before the start of midterms, and Edd was feeling the pressure. He couldn't get careless on his subjects. But it was finally coming to an end, but he had to go to a group meeting. All the week he had been staying up late with groups or classmates who asked his assistance. He was used to it, sometimes girls said this to try and get him to go out with them...Edd was used to it. Some of the girls had been pretty actually, up to date. He wondered and felt remorse on the eternal question of WHY he never went out with them or got close to them. He could speak to them, he didn't get too nervous or sweat near girls anymore. He was a man, and some girls considered him handsome... somehow. Why couldn't he correspond to them, to any girl? These thoughts brought Edd back to his past, the memories and the incident that still scarred him.

Either way, tonight it was already 8 o'clock, and his yoga class had just ended and he had agreed to meet someone at the library. After such a tough week Edd would usually dismiss any invites or favor they would ask him, especially a friday at such an hour, but he could not say no to this person. As Edd strolled to the library, having showered and feeling quite clean, he thought on what subject would he be asked help on.

The night was chilly, he was thankful he was wearing Kevin's sweater under his jacket. It kept all the cold away from his body. He had come prepared this time: dark thick jeans with his tights still underneath, a long sleeve gray turtle neck with Kevin's sweater on top, his black beanie and a stripped black and gray scarf. He felt stylish and girls in his yoga class actually turned heads to watch his attire. Was it bad to feel so sure of himself since others gave their approval of him. Would it be different if they didn't? The eternal labyrinth and enigma of the human mind. It was Edd's personal vice, to unlock it, to understand it. As Edd pondered on the psychological and philosophical topics he reached the library- a giant building which had the exterior of a pantheon made of stone.

It was grand and quite recognizable. The library housed an extensive amount of books, knowledge and media that served the purpose of satiating student's thirst for knowledge as much as possible.

It was a modern library, not the typical "silent" libraries, it was actually a place that promoted interaction. As Edd made his way through the building, chatting briefly with peers and teachers who knew him, he made his way to the second floor to where the study rooms were. According to the email, they would be in the second to the left, and so Edd lost no time in locating it. He opened the door and quickly made his way in, making little noise and turning an examining eye to the crowd gathered. They were a noisy bunch and while some were actually studying, others were chatting or idling...which Edd disapproved for he had been in the position of the others so many countless times. Though, he did notice everyone in the room was or had been studying and for one reason or another. But, some...had given up.

?: Edd, you made it!

Edd was startled to his name called so familiarly, no one did so except for those of the Cul-de-Sac, that meant it was surely Lyon. As he raised his sight, Edd saw him: deep dark brown eyes, unarranged dark hair, long sleeve black muscle shirt, dark jeans, a gray wool scarf and a pair of thin reading glasses. Edd had to admit, Lyon had quite a taste toward fashion. He looked stunning. However, no Q&A coursed his brain as he thought the previous. He just bluntly stated it as a fact, no emotional attachment. Still, he had remained silent too long.

Edd: Greeting everyone! Hello Lyon, I am glad to see you tonight. In what may i be of assistance.

As Edd made his way through the room he actually found familiar faces among them, hence he chatted briefly with them.

Lyon: Quite the popular man, eh, Double D.
Edd: Nothing of the sort Lyon, i just have a wide range of classes and i've shared some with them before. By the looks of who i've seen, you study an engineering. Am i right?
Lyon: Civil engineering, god i can't stop being intrigued and attracted to that speaking of yours.
Edd: Lyon...
Lyon: Ok, ok, to business right?

As Lyon explained to Edd where they were all having trouble, Edd prepared and researched on his laptop the subject. Turned out it was Social Ethics, a very controversial subject since freedom of speech was an illusion as one had to bend to the teacher's thoughts, beliefs and knowledge. Edd was aware of this, he had coursed the subject and it had posed him great suffering and anger for he felt limited and restrained, but he had to teach the group how to work around it as he did. Edd cracked his finger slightly and cleared his throat. Everyone quickly faced him, and even helped him bring in a projector, a TV and get some cables to link his computer to such TV. The whole thing soon became into a class on the subject and on tips on how to work around teacher limitations on subjects.

Edd had ranted and jibbered on God knew how much, but he felt good that no one dozed off. No one was bored, everyone was paying attention, asking, participating, taking notes. He was not older than them, no authority and yet, they had accepted him as teacher.


11 o'clock, as Edd bid farewell and chatted briefly with every student that had attended the session, he was fascinated at how much esteem they now showed toward him. Edd was aware he had taught them crucial tips to help them in the class and future classes, but regretted he had spent so little time on the subject itself. As the last student left, and Edd was left to his own self analysis and conscience. He had started to put his stuff away again and shut everything down.

Lyon: You are forgetting someone.

Lyon's voice snapped Edd from his own introversion and made him realize he had forgotten about him and that Lyon was actually still unpacked, sitting across the long table with his hands folded in front of his face. He was looking at him, glasses on and a grin on his face, but serious eyes.

Edd: I'm terribly sorry Lyon, i didn't mean to...
Lyon: Dont worry Edd, sit down. We have some time for ourselves.

Edd looked at his digital watch on his wrist, he had roughly half an hour before he should go rest to be productive tomorrow and have energy for his date...ERR, hang out with Kevin. A Q&A ran threw his brain to the fact he had initially stated such event as a date, but he quickly took a sit ad steadied himself.

Lyon, an observer much like Edd, actually saw through the fascinating, beautiful boy who had sat beside him and found a troubled and confused kid. He wanted to know him, to help him, to care for him, and to be part of him...but he had agreed to not interfere.

Lyon: Something's bothering you Edd.
Edd: Me? No, it's nothing y greatly appreciate your concern.
Lyon: It wasn't a question you know, and the fact that you didn't notice it wasn't... proves my point.

A cold and direct comment that hit Edd. He didn't dislike this about Lyon, he actually felt mesmerized by it. Someone equally observant. Edd sighed and breathed deeply, for some reason, he felt like he wanted to talk.

Edd: Well, you see, i haven't been myself lately. And i can't figure out what's going on with me.
Lyon: Explain yourself.

Edd was brief but stated the crucial points and details clearly, explaining his behavior the last couple of days. Edd was aware that he could be judged harshly by a peer as many of his doubts rose cause of the social norms on normal behavior. Still, Edd wasn't stupid and cared truly and deeply for Kevin, so he omitted names and the weird moments he had with him. Edd simply talked about his feeling, abstractly and in a very general fashion, thus turning the conversation more in a "get to know". He was letting Lyon into his inner circles of confidence.

Lyon: I see, well, haven't you thought you are over analyzing this?

Lyon had loosened up and the whole atmosphere around him lightened up as he said this. Lyon stretched back and yawned, turning to place his arms folded on the table and rest his head on them.

Lyon: Edd, you are trying to understand emotion. What you feel. Don't you think that's a little too full of yourself?

Edd felt a slash at the comment. He had always thought and cared to be a humble person. Was he just humble toward others but thought highly of himself in secret?

Lyon: Double D, stop thinking!

Lyon placed his hand on Edd's left cheek, caressed it...Edd stopped thinking, he was idle.

Lyon: Double D, you are a great person. A great and good man. A teacher, as you just saw, and you are just... beautiful... physically. You have everything going for you. You have passion, clear objectives and a personal drive. It's normal to lose yourself in all of it. But you see, you can't explain everything. You have much to learn yet, we all do. So, stop thinking, analyzing and classifying everything immediately and let it simply complete and fulfill itself. It's when you see a clearer or fuller picture that you'll understand what it is or was. Besides...the heart wants what the heart wants.

At the last, Lyon winked at Edd and looked at him straight in the eyes, those gorgeous dark blue eyes he (Lyon) was attracted too. Edd was left speechless and he had to admit Lyon was right, he had to live a bit more to understand what some things were..."cest la vie", we must live on. As Edd engaged in the eye contact with Lyon he felt a deep trust in him, and grateful. Edd got close to Lyon and as Lyon closed his eyes and slightly opened his lips, Edd hugged him. Arms around his neck. Lyon was surprised, he had been rejected, yet...it also made him happy. As Edd broke the hug, he stopped at a short distance from Lyon's face and made eye contact again, both just breathing as they looked at each other. Edd was the one to break the moment.

Edd: Oh my god, it's past 11 o'clock i must get to my dorms!

Lyon got up, he was still hot and he didn't stand upright yet as he contained his arousal and tried to calm himself. Edd was oblivious to this last, but the boy did notice Lyon's movement.

Lyon: i'll walk you, just let me get my stuff.
Edd: Ok, i'll help you though.
Lyon: Thanks dude, but you don't...

Before Lyon could protest Edd had already handed over to him his empty backpack and his thick impermeable navy blue jacket. He had to hurry. As the boys picked Lyon's stuff and packed it up, they kept laughing and talking about the lecture Edd had given. Lyon half praised half mocked at Edd's "style" which he described as the perfect combination of "entertainment and instruction". Edd simply blushed and insisted that he was merely helping out and that he felt he had no great qualities or skill to become a teacher. The walk to Edd's dorms though had turned a bit more personal, Lyon had stated Edd about his past, and viceversa.

Lyon: So Edd, who are you dating? Sweet boy like you should have girls lining up for him.
Edd: Well i do have my lady friends, but i'm not currently dating anyone. I just don't seem to find myself in love or truly attracted by any of them.
Lyon: How is that possible! DUDE! You're a DUDE! You need pussy!

Edd laughed loudly and Lyon quickly joined it. They both knew it wasn't that simple.

Edd: I don't know Lyon, you can't rush love. The hearts wants, what the heart wants right?
Lyon: Touche my friend, why did i ever teach you that?
Edd: Your own advice is your own demise.
Lyon: Yeah, gotta shut up more often!
Edd: Please don't, i quite enjoy your talks.
Lyon: Ok, ok, let's not get touchy. Seriously, have you ever dated a girl?
Edd: Well...it's...it's not that simple.
Lyon: DUDE! why not! It's a YES or NO question!
Edd: But you must consider the underlying factors that affected the decision or thought process as to why...
Lyon: DEAR GOD! YES OR NO!?
Edd: U...I...WELL

Edd was stuttering and Lyon was aware he had pushed perhaps too hard too far.

Lyon: Hey, hey, don't worry man. Who cares, past is the past right?

Lyon put an arm around Edd and rubbed Edd's arm with his hand. He helped Edd calm down and they walked a bit in silence to let the subject die.

Lyon: Any sisters Double D?
Edd: Single child i'm afraid.
Lyon: Same here. Wish i had one little sister though.
Edd: OH! I dont have the best experience with little sisters.
Lyon: How come?
Edd: One of my childhood best friends, Ed (one D), had a demonic sister. Spoiled, tough, hot temper...she was one real pain to all of us.
Lyon: You mean your gang?
Edd: Yeah, you could call is that.
Lyon: Shame, still can't you imagine a little female you?
Edd: Disturbing image. Oh god, make it stop!

Lyon laughed loudly at Edd's comment and reaction, which made Edd happy. He had a new friend apparently.

Lyon: Hey Edd, can i ask you something personal?
Edd: Yes you may Lyon.
Lyon: Have you ever doubted your sexuality?

Edd didn't stop walking but he turned quiet and serious and pale. His sexuality? Would he mean...gay? Edd had never even considered the possibility. Yet...he was aware of the stages of it; like the stages of mourning or suicide. He was in stage one: denial, but...by considering it, would he be in stage two: consented denial? Or where would he be placed? Was he even...could he...it could explain. ..

Edd's mind became a storm of thoughts, possibilities, analysis. He was confused...more than ever. He was stopped. Soothed, by a soft pressure on his frontal lobe and a warm sensation covering his body. As Edd came back to his senses, Lyon was holding him, as Kevin had done, but he had one hand on the back of Edd's head. Edd's head made contact with his, as if they were sharing thoughts.

Lyon: Hey...we're here. I'm sorry i made you feel weird or if i caused you pain. Just ignore everything. Ok? For me?

Edd simply looked into Lyon's eyes, and then moved up the stairs for his dorms. He stopped mid way and turned around.

Edd: See you soon Lyon, let's stay in contact.

Lyon was relieved he hadn't destroyed their relationship. He had gotten scared he had...he didn't want to lose Edd.

Lyon: Sure thing buddy! I'll stalk you.

Edd giggled.

Edd: Who knows, maybe I'll even have an answer for you.
Lyon: It isn't necesary
Edd: I did say maybe.
Lyon: Touche.
Edd: Goodnight.
Lyon: Sweet dreams Edd!

With the last, Lyon turned around and started walking swiftly in the direction of his own dorms. Edd had felt his heart slightly leap at the charming and kind comment with which Lyon had left him, but he couldn't ignore the doubt he had also left. Gay? Could he? Edd admitted to himself that he would have to firmly, strictly and thoroughly analyze himself on such possibility, but not tonight. He was tired, and it had been a long day- adding his encounter with Lyon.

Once in his own dorm, Edd carefully separated everything into it's respective laundry basket, or bag, and made his routine before bed time. Having come out of the shower, Edd felt like leaving his long black hair fall freely. Short in the front, long at the back. A silky black hair which was always indomitable, and always clumped together...he detested it. As he let his hair dry freely, Edd decided to check his email and phone for one last time before he went to sleep. He had a couple of messages slumped in his phone...all from Kevin. Edd smiled as he read each message. He was a needy one, and he giggled at the thought.

(8:15) Hey, i guess you're out of yoga by now, finishing practice, wanna hang?
(9:00) Sorry, practice extended more, good thing you didnt come. see you tomorrow
(9:15) What are we doing tomorrow?
(9:30) What are you doing?
(9:45) You busy?
(10:15) Room's empty, i'm bored
(11:00) Went for burgers, i'm going to get fat
(11:15) Why haven't you answered?

That was the last message, and surely Kevin had fallen asleep by now, it was 12 o'clock, but Edd couldn't leave Kevin hanging in the dark. He decided to answer, besides he knew exactly what he wanted to do with Kevin tomorrow.

(12:00) Edd - Kevin: Sweet dreams Kevin, please rest. See you tomorrow, main parking lot at 3, we're going to eat at a bistro.

Sending...
Sent

It was done, Edd was filled with happyness and unconsciously hugged the phone at the thought of going out tomorrow with Kevin. He quickly reacted and recomposed himself, he had to find out why he kept doing those things. Edd opened his laptop on his desk and proceeded to check his email. Thankfully it was empty, or almost. To Edd's surprise, he had one new additional email which was marked and archived as Personal. If it was Eddy, why hadn't he called him or texted him? Eddy wasn't the best at emails and he rarely ever wrote them. Having two... either it was an emergency or it was someone else. As Edd opened his Personal Folder his blood froze in his veins. He was pale, felt ill and actually thought he was going to pass out in that instant.

"The past always comes back to haunt you", Edd was sure of it as he saw who the writer of both emails was. Edd closed his laptop, and stared wide-eyed in fear at the wall. He was only able to mumble one thing to himself.

"Marie..."


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