Senior year, the last year of high school but to me it would be the last year of a four year long prison stay. No, it’s not because I don’t like school work; actually I’m a straight A student. It’s just a constant reminder of my problem.
I know this school like that back of my hand so that means I know the people. And I don’t feel like being picked on and thrown in dumpster’s every day.
Why, you may ask am I scared of my fellow class mates?
Well… I’m not, I’m wary of what they might do to me when they find out that I’m the big G.A.Y.
Yeah, now you know my problem.
You could say I’m ashamed of my sexuality.
My parents are the ones that tell me that I should be proud. Yeah can you believe that; I was shocked too?
Okay, okay I’m not totally ashamed, maybe I shouldn’t use that word; here’s a better one. I’m scared of it.
So here I am incognito, playing the straight guy in my anatomy class writing notes, being the awesome ’A student I am. The teacher was ranting on and on about medical studies and whatnot and I was trying to keep up. This class was my favorite just because the medical field was what I was going to be involved in for my career for the future. Jeanine who I call J, my all-time best friend was annoyingly tapping her pen against the desk next to me which made me want to snatch it and throw it across the room. I gave her a narrow eyed glare while she frowned at me.
I eyed the pen suggestively hoping she would get the hint raising my eyebrows at it. Apparently not, since she mouthed “what” to me.
Rolling my eyes I picked my pencil up and waved it at her.
“Oh” she mouthed and set her pen down.
“Finally” I said heaving a heavy sigh.
“Mr. Walker is there something you would like to share with the class?” Mr. Simons asked giving me a stern look. I shook my head and said a sheepish,
“No” Jeanine giggled at me along with the rest of the class.
Glaring at her I turned back to my notes grumpily. Why is it that I’m always the one who gets in trouble when Jeanine and I talk in class? Slowly I laid my head on my desk and ignored the rest of what Mr. Simons said basically because I knew it already.
I suddenly found myself dosing off, Mr. Simon’s voice was starting to become a low mumble when a huge banging sound erupted. My head snapped up to see what was happening but all I saw was two body’s bursting through the door, practically breaking it down, and tumbling to the floor. There was a collective gasp from the class with a few screams from the girls.
Everyone quickly stood from their desks to see what was happening.
And of course I was the one who would be caught up in the fight since I was the one right next to the door. They rolled too close to my desk making it tip over with me in it.
I hit the floor with a hard thump, then the pain came screaming in my wrist and head as the fight progressed next to me.
“Mr. Parker! Mr. Moore, stop this now!!” Mr. Simons yelled at them while I was still struggling to untangle my legs from the desk.
“Aiden!” I heard Jeanine exclaim, I never had the chance to look at her before something hard hit my stomach causing the wind to be knocked out of me and my head to hit the floor again.
‘I really needed to get up now!’
Again the person was slammed back into me ruining my motivation to even move. I was waiting for it to happen again but it didn’t, everything was quiet now or maybe it was because I was trying to sort out my head. All I know was that I was having trouble seeing straight.
The nurse’s office smelled funny when I woke. I tried sitting up but my head was swimming and pounding so badly I decided that staying still was my best option.
I looked around.
‘Why am I here again? And seriously why does it smell so weird in here?!’
“Aiden? Are you up?” Jeanine’s voice sounded from behind the curtain.
“Yeah” she pulled it back with a small smile on her face.
“Hey how are you feeling?” She asked taking a seat on the bed.
“Like hell. What happened?” I asked, I watch her face change drastically from shocked before taking on some sort of dark expression.
‘Uh oh’ I thought.
“You don’t remember?” I shook my head.
“Well those stupid jerks came barging in the room in a huge fight, making you fall from your desk. You hit your head pretty hard, are you sure you’re not feeling woozy or anything?” Ignoring her concern I asked who was fighting.
“It was Kyle and Liam” I stared at her wide eyed.
“You’re saying that our schools star football players were fighting in our class and I got dragged into it?” She nodded.
“I’m lucky to even be alive right now” I exclaimed.
“Yeah Mr. Simons had to break them up because he feared for your poor pathetic little life” she said with an evil smirk.
“Ha, ha very funny. It makes me feel so good inside that you care” I rolled my eyes.
“I know, you should feel honored. No, but seriously I’m going to get the nurse to make sure you don’t need some serious medical attention,” with that I watched her disappear behind the curtain.
It didn’t take long for the nurse to examine me and see if I was ok. So when she released me, she told me she called someone so I didn’t have to walk home. She proceeded to give me instructions on how to take care of my head and wrist, since I might have a mild concussion and I definitely had a sprain.
Jeanine walked me out and down the hallway outside; school let out ten minutes ago and I was glad because I had a major headache. As we made our way outside, J told me everything that went down in class since I missed most of it.
When we pass the principal’s office I suddenly heard raised voices. I had this odd sensation that was begging me to look through the rooms window, so I gave in and saw the principle, of course, giving a very expressive lecture to non-other than the hooligans that squished me.
Maybe it was just because he had this ‘look at me’ type persona going on but my eyes especially trained on Liam. Well his back, and can I say what a nice broad back it was. His hair looked ruffled and crazy from his earlier fight but I had to say it was pretty sexy from the back. I’m sure it was more so in the front. I never really seen Liam up close, and the only reason I know of him is because he’s the ‘famous’ star quarterback. But from what I hear he’s a ‘total heart throb’ or whatever girls say about him. Me personally I never looked because I didn’t want anyone to see me checking out dudes.
The abrupt tugging on my arm caught my attention.
“Aiden what’s up? What’s wrong?” Jeanine asked watching me with concern.
I shook my head, when did I stop walking? I was drawn to look into the window and noticed Liam staring at me. He had a confused and shocked, almost angry expression. With a yelp I moved for the front doors at hyper speed.
He saw me staring at him!
Oh God now he thinks I’m a freak or worse, he knows I’m gay!
He’s going to tell and I’m going to be best friends with the dumpster for the rest of my senior year. I’m such an idiot!
Jeanine was staring at me weird, her dark brown eyebrow raised at me.
“What?” I asked innocently. “You know that top really compliments your skin tone.” I said distracting her with the best extreme gay fashion designer impression I’ve seen on TV, which always makes her smile. But really, she was wearing a light yellow blouse that went well with her light brown skin. It really did look good on her, even though I know nothing about fashion. I might be gay but fashion went over the head for me. If I could I would still have my mom pick my clothes in the morning.
“Uh huh, whatever. Your dads here by the way.” She said pointing to the Mercedes waiting in the front.
“Crap, thanks” I gave her a quick hug. “I’ll call you later?” I said slowly walking backwards towards the car. She shook her head,
“I have dance practice so I’m going to be dead tired later.”
“Oh alright I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I opened the car door ready to slide in.
“Yep, feel better” she said.
“I will” was the last thing I told her before closing the door. Buckling up I rested my head against the head rest.
“What is this I hear about a fight?” My dad said as he started to drive. “Are you hurt badly, I know the nurse called me and said you were knocked out but no need to go to the hospital” he said concerned giving me sideways glances.
“No dad I’m fine I just have a headache and I sprained my wrist.” He nodded.
“K we’ll go to store and get you a wrist brace and aspirin alright?”
At dinner I got a whole bunch of questions about what happened to me and answered them to the best of my abilities. My mom like always thought that a gay basher was always terrorizing me. Dad stayed quiet and just agreed with everything she said, it was really annoying. My fourteen year old sister Connie was sneaking text messages under the table since phones weren’t allowed at the dinner table, my parents think our generation is ruled by technology.
I know crazy right.
My brother Nash was out with his girlfriend like usual, and since he went to the community college he still lived with us. He hasn’t yet heard what happened to me and I was hoping it stayed that way. Ever since I came out to my family my brother has been the one to be the most protective.
Like this one time the family and I were over at my great grandparent’s house for a family reunion, so Connie, Nash and I were hanging with our cousins. And you know how everyone has a douche bag cousin? That guy who always puts you down whenever you’re feeling vulnerable, a straight up bully if you ever knew one. Well mine happens to be Brent, so any who, Connie accidentally let it slip out that I was gay at dinner. I mean she was only eleven she probably didn’t even know what that meant yet or thought it wasn’t a big deal.
So, like the douche bag Brent is, he made a huge seen saying it was disgusting and wrong. He then did something I least expected. He called me a fag. No one had ever called me that before and to be truthful it was a kind of traumatizing. I mean if my own family didn’t like who I was how would everyone else take it. Bad, that’s how. Nash’s face had gone bright red as we all sat at the table shocked. My brother had shot to his feet so fast no one had time to stop him as he socked Brent square in the face. As Brent crashed to the floor in his chair.
“Never say that to my brother again you piece of shit!” Nash exclaimed snatching Brent from the floor and that was when a full scale war broke out. My dad and his brother, Brent’s’ dad were struggling to try and separate them.
I remember how afterwards everyone was arguing and pointing accusing fingers at me like I was the bad guy.
It took so much in me to keep from crying.
They told my parents to never come back with me, so my dad told them if I couldn’t be a part of the family then none of them would ever come back. He took my arm and walked out of the house with his dignity in tacked while mine crumbled and blew away with the particularly strong wind that day.
The second we arrived home my father instructed everyone to go inside while he kept me out with him. I could still remember how hard it was to look him in the eyes at that moment.
“Look at me Aiden.” I shook my head to ashamed at what I was and there was no way he didn’t feel that same. I was a disgrace and no matter how much he tried to put on this façade to make me feel better I knew I was a screw up of a son.
“You don’t have to pretend” I whispered.
“You don’t have to pretend that you loved me.” The sob tore through my throat as I said those words and before I knew it I was suddenly drawn into a bone crushing hug. To shocked to say anything I just let the tears come, sobbing in his chest as his arms tightened.
“I will never stop loving you! You are my son, Aiden and not a thing is going to stop this family from loving you unconditionally!” Putting me at an arm’s length and for the first time ever I tear in my father’s eyes. And just like the stubborn man that he is he refused to them fall.
“They were in the wrong, not you. And I swear that I will never let them hurt you again. Do you hear me?” I stared at him unable to move or speak.
“Aiden I need you to understand, tell me you do.” I then nodded, wrapping my arms around him tightly.
“I love you, Aiden. More than you’ll ever know.” he said kissing my hair.
“I love you too dad.”
That was the last time I had seen my dad’s side of the family. My moms side were more accepting, so now we go there for reunions.
I put my dish in the sink and headed up stair to my room, I didn’t realize how tired I was till my head hit the pillow but I was out.