(Ch. 11) Horrible Memories
I woke up at seven on hearing my alarm. Today was Friday, the day I was going to visit my family. I was very excited. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, took a shower and coming out, headed towards my wardrobe.
I stood in front of my wardrobe to decide upon a dress. I decided to dress formally because in order of getting late, I could go to my parent's house straight ahead. I knew I wouldn't be having the time to run back to the apartment and get ready. This Thursday - yesterday - was a lot hectic, as I had to review a lot of documents and then call the clients to set the dates for the meeting. The most surprising was that, my so called jerk of a boss not even once acted like a jerk. He didn't interfere once in my any matter and all we did was business talk.
That was strange of him. I was expecting him to act like a total jerk on my second day to work but he acted like a boss. Like a true boss. Did he lost his memory or was he ill?
Well, whatever. I shouldn't care.
Shrugging the thought away, I turned my attention to my hanging clothes in the wardrobe. I decided to wear the dress, I bought whilst shopping with Alice. A simple pretty black one.
I changed into my dress. It was black with a neckline and it reached just above my knees. It was a bit tight, hugging my body showing my slight curves. I was not usually used to this tight clothes but Alice insisted me to buy it.
My back was half bare and my shoulder blades along with my beauty bones were quite visible. I looked... I looked kind of pretty and a bit sexy. I liked it.
I smiled seeing my reflection. Taking my black clutch having a small silver strap, I dropped my phone in it. I put on some liner, a little mascara and my strawberry lip gloss. I put on my black pencil heel, let my brownish black hair fall on my shoulders. They were a little wavy but I love them the way they were.
"Woah! Emma, you look gorgeous." I jolted at the sudden voice.
"Kate! you frightened me. I didn't know you were up!" Kate looked at me, mouth open. Her hair a mess as she was still in her pyjamas.
"I am now. So a date?" she smirked.
"No. A family dinner," I said while taking my denim black jacket in case if it gets cold.
"OK. Have a nice time," Kate said to me and then went back to her room, yawning. She had a day off from her job today so I was pretty sure she'll spend her day sulking.
I went into the living room and putting my jacket on the couch, I went to the kitchen for a quick breakfast. I ate a toast and drink some coffee. I looked at the time as it was 8:30.
"Oh no! I'm going to be late," I mumbled and hurriedly finished my coffee. Grabbing my clutch from the isle, I went to the bus stop. Taking the drive of half an hour, I was standing in front of the office. I looked at the clock showing ten minutes past nine. As the cold breeze struck with my bare arms, I shivered and remembered. "Shit! I forgot to bring my jacket," I muttered under my breath.
I didn't have enough time to go back as it was already 9:10 so I decided to give it up. I went to the 24th floor. I was late today and I wondered. Will he scold me? Or punish me? No, he can't do that. Or can he? He's my boss though. But I'm too Emma James! I won't let him get to me.
I opened his office door and went inside. He was reading some files and by the look on his face, I could tell he was in a bad mood.
Good! Just great!
I was in a bad mood right now and it was all mom's fault. She just wants me to settle down and have a real girlfriend. I had refused her a thousand times. For god sakes, I was only twenty seven. I wanted to enjoy my bachelor life. I was a player. I don't do dating. I don't do girlfriends. It's all crap to me. I don't do dating and other shits. But unexpectedly my mom - like every single time - arranged a blind date for me. A girl named...
What was her name?
Aahh... Yes! Sara Lill! That was her name. She was fine. Yeah! A bit sexy too but I hated her. She was damn so clingy and won't just keep her shit mouth off. I rejected her on the spot. A one night stand would be fine but whole life with her... I would rather die.
She started crying as she was a mommy-daddy girl, but do I give a fuck? No!
My mom was a bit angry but she knew well that I didn't like her, that snotty big mouth. That girl cried but who cares? Well, I don't. I don't give a fuck about her.
I looked at the time as it was 9:10 already.
Where the hell was Emma? Did she quit or something? She can't do that but what if she ran away or hid herself somewhere? That can't happen though but still, she was so darn stubborn and I think she can do anything. I have never met anyone like her. She is somehow challenging and I loved that about her. She makes me feel interested, makes my life a bit unexpected.
I heard the door open and as I looked up, my eyes widen and for a moment, I wasn't able to believe that this was the same Emma from that day or from past two days. Her beautiful hair was on her shoulders like a silk shining under the sun rays. Her legs long and slender and her dress showing her light curves on the right places. A small cleavage visible from his dress, her shoulder blades and her collarbone making her look sexy, and I couldn't seem to breathe. No one had ever made me feel like this. Usually it's the opposite of this situation. Strange! She just made me feel all excited, all fired up. She looked pure, she looked innocent and that made me want to taste her, to make her moan my name, to own her and then to spoil her.
Why couldn't I get her out of my mind? Why couldn't I seem to function when she's around? Maybe the answer was simple, she wasn't attracted towards me. I am sure once I will get in her little panties and have her for one night, I will forget her and I'll be back to my normal player self. Yes, that's right.
"Miss James you're late," I said coldly whilst making my mind clear.
"Yeah! I know that. You don't need to tell me," She replied sharply.
So? Today, she's feisty.
"Miss James no apology?" I said, a playful tone in my voice.
"Look who's talking? The jerk boss! Let me remind you, my so forgetful boss. You didn't apologize to me in the first place and secondly, you made my life like hell. So we're Even Steven." She said, her hands on her hips.
Hot-headed and Sexy! I like it.
"So Miss James! I guess I have to punish you then," I said with a smirk as I stood up from my chair. "Well, I like your dress. I might say you look beautiful today." I continued while getting closer to her.
"I can see you have done a great effort to impress me but," I smirked as she rolled her eyes.
"What? To impress? Who? You Jerk?" She scoffed not letting me complete my sentences.
"Why would I impress you? You jerk! I had dressed like this for someone special not for someone jerk bastard!" She yelled at me as I tensed. I didn't tense on someone jerk but someone special. Who was this someone special? And... what was the person to her? Special or something more?
"Who is this someone?" I hovered over her, my eyes intense dark. The thought of someone with her boiled my blood. She can't be with someone else unless I'm done with her. For the meantime, she was mine. Only mine.
Damn! It's just been a few days and I was acting like a possessive boyfriend! Darn it!
"I don't think there is any need for me to tell you that!" She snapped.
"Well, Miss James let me remind you, I am your-"
"What? Boss? I already know that. Tell me something I don't know." She said interrupting me.
Yesterday was spent fine but today, I believe it's gonna be fun. She was so stubborn and challenging, she wasn't a bit afraid or intimidated by me. So different!
"Then I will tell you something you don't know, Emma," I said getting closer to her calling her by her name seductively. As I get closer, she stepped back, her eyes widened as she stared at me bewildered. I took another step forward and she did backwards. We were taking our steps when her back hit the wall.
She turned her head and tried to move towards the left but at once, I blocked her way by placing my arm on the wall. She sucked in a breath and then whispered, "Let me go,"
I smirked. "What if I don't want to?" I whispered huskily. She didn't move but instead she turned her face to look at me, her eyes glaring at me. I lean in, our body and faces a few inches apart. She was wide shocked. I noticed her cheeks which became a bit red and I smile inwardly proud of me in control. I leaned closer so that my mouth was near her ear.
"You," I said while slightly wetting her ear by my tongue and she flinched.
"Are," this time I nibbled her ear.
"Mine," and this time I kissed the back spot behind her ear.
She trembled a bit but hold on to herself. Her face turned red like a ripe tomato and her breathing rapid. I chuckled a little as I looked at her face. After a moment she gritted her teeth and then her eyes become blazing hot.
"YOU!" She yelled at me and started hitting me on my chest with her hands balled into fists. Her eyes blazing with fire, her voice getting lower and lower and it felt like she was on the verge of crying but not a single tear shed her eye.
What the hell?
"You bastard! You... you jerk!" She continued hitting me. "I hate you...hate you." She continued saying those words, her hit wasn't painful, they were so light. But... They did hurt. Why? I can't seem to get what I had done? And why I felt a pang of hurt in my chest?
She spun around in a flash and this time a slight sob left her mouth, and I just stayed there confused. I had never seen that reaction before, usually, women will grin and beg me to take them right there, but Emma? She was so damn different.
That jerk! Why he had to come near me? Why he had to touch me? This kissing, touching bring horrible memories to me. It brings back the memories of the one I thought I loved, the one whom I thought as my prince charming, the devil he turned into. It creeps me out. It scares me.
I felt like thousands of insects crawling on my body. "No! No! Don't! Don't! Get off!" I whispered rubbing my arms and my neck, I felt his dirty hands on my body, him torturing me. "No!" I screamed. "No! Don't do this," I whimpered as tears started rolling down my cheek.
This touching brought horrible memories of that evil, what he turned into and how he tortured me. This closeness, this kissing creeps me out. It made my those terrible days alive before my eyes. He was my prince charming, my knight in shining armour, my saviour... And in the end... He ruined me. He took my trust and broke it. He ditched me, tried to take what I hold dearest and then left me all shattered into pieces. My heart was broken, I was torn into tiny pieces. I spent a full year crying and to gather up my broken pieces, trying to build what he broke, trying to build myself up from those pieces and tried to arrange them but I guess I failed.
From that day I made a promise to myself. To never trust a guy again and to never let any guy come near to me, but that idiot had to ruin it...ruin it all.
I sobbed looking at my reflection. My eyes all smudged by the liner. I tried my best to not let him see me cry but this intimate thing scares me. It hurts... It brought back those nightmares that had me up for months.
Damn that bastard! Damn him!
I held my arms and engulfing myself in my own embrace, I leaned against the tiled wall. My body shivered on remembering that dark night, that horrible night of my life, the night that changed me, that made me afraid of the creatures called men.
Emma snap out of it! You're not that Emma. That broken Emma died three years ago. This is new Emma, brave Emma, fearless Emma. And you will show him who that bastard is dealing with.
I reminded myself and composed myself. I need to get up! I am strong! I will fight and I will win!
I nodded at my conscience and straightened up. I stared at myself in the mirror and wiped my tears. Seeing in the mirror, I repeated those words in mind. 'I am strong, I am not weak. I am strong, I am not weak," I got a hold of myself. After half an hour I decided to just forget it. Washing my face and my smudged liner and mascara, I decided to keep my face simple. I came out of the washroom and went to my office. I looked at the files on my table and started reading them, indulging myself in work. It was lunch time but I wasn't in a mood to go to the cafeteria so, I decided to leave lunch and stayed in my office.
My intercom beeped and with that my breath hitched. Should I pick it?
Yes, I should. I won't show him that he had gotten me. I am brave Emma. I am strong.
I pressed the button and asked, "Yes?"
"Miss James, have you eaten anything?" He asked calling Miss James this time. I hated him. I hated his voice. I hated him calling me. I wanted to shout at him, to scream and to kill him. I wanted to yell at him, to tell him that it was none of his business but I decided not to. I won't show him that he had affected me in any way.
"Yes," I lied.
He breathed out and then ordered, "Come to my office now."
"I am busy. "
"It's an order." He stated and I clenched my hand. Fine then! I'll go.
I decided to follow his order. I'll show him that I was not a cry girl or some vulnerable, pity girl. I was a strong person. I was not a girl in need of his pity.
I picked up my bag and went through the small connected door to his office.
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P.S. sorry for mistakes