(Ch. 18) Depression
I opened my eyes slowly as I was hoping a terrible headache but no it wasn’t that bad. But, I had a little headache though. I adjusted my vision to the brightness of the room and opened my eyes.
I turned my head to see Edan sleeping. What was he doing here? I turned around to see that I wasn’t in my room but It was a large room painted in grey and brown color. It was Edan’s! But how I get here? I tried to get up but I was pinned in by Edan’s arm. I turned my head to see a glass of water and some pills.
So, that’s how I was feeling well.
I turned my head towards Edan. He was sleeping peacefully as a stray lock fell on his forehead. Unknowingly my hand moved forward and brushed that stray lock. A smile on my lips as I tried to remember what happened last night. I couldn’t remember well, the memory was blurry. I was in the club and then went out and then someone came. I tried my hard to remember who was he and then I remembered him.
Suddenly all memories of last night came alive, those dragging by Den and then that hard kiss, that slap and then saved by Edan. All memories were alive now as my breathing speed up. I felt Edan shift by my side.
“You’re awake.” he smiled.
“Yes.” I was embarrassed by my actions yesterday. I remembered all the things which I said to Edan. Why I even stopped him from leaving me? He looked at me, his expression become a serious one.
“Are you regretting your last night decision.” He cocked his eyebrow as he was looking into my eyes, his face a little serious as he rest his head on his hand.
“Yes. I shouldn’t have done that.” I replied lightly. I didn’t lie. Although I enjoyed his presence and that was the most peaceful sleep I ever had. I felt so safe but it was wrong. This was wrong.
“Done what?” His face getting angrier.
“You should have dropped me at my house. You shouldn’t have brought me here.”
I don’t want to spend much time with him. It’s highly inappropriate for a boss and his assistant to hang around and yet I had slept with him. What will people say? They will think me like a whore who was after his money. I had read many stories about that, heard many gossips and I don’t like how people point their fingers at others without knowing the real them.
“Why I wouldn’t have? I couldn’t just leave you alone. You were in a really bad condition. And in no way, I was gonna leave you alone. No way in hell!” His voice getting angrier.
He stood up from the bed and starting pacing around the room trying to calm his nerves down. His hands clenched and unclenched as he raked his hands in his thick black hair and muttered something under her breath.
“What is wrong with you Emma? Why couldn’t you just trust me? Did I hurt you? Did I make you cry? Are you afraid of me? I couldn’t seem to get you. The more I try to know you the more you back away. Damn it, Emma! Why are you like this?” His voice laced with anger, his eyes staring at me.
I just couldn’t do this, how do I tell him? I had known him for only a few weeks.
“Thanks for everything but I need to go.”
I couldn’t just answer him. I was terrible at friendship with guys. Den always yelled at me that our relationship didn’t work because of me. He used to say I was ugly, I was a no supermodel and he hated me. I know that for me love, happy endings don’t exist at all.... and I don’t want to make his life hell too. I could never find peace, never find love. They were all stories, but this is the reality. We have to face it.
Edan was handsome and is a well established independent person. He was every women’s dream guy and he could get every girl he wants but I wasn’t the one for him.... Besides who would like to be with me. I don’t want my cursed fate to destroy his too...I need to go...
All these thoughts made my head pound harder and all I wanted was to get out of here now.
“I’m going. That was a big mistake.” With that, I tried to stand up. But as I did, my head started spinning and my vision got blurred. The room around me starting spinning as I held on to the bed side table to steady myself. My body lose balance as everything went black.
I was hoping she might have given me a chance. I thought I had won her trust but I was wrong. It was true that I just wanted her for just one night, I know I just wanted to win this fight. I wanted to show her that she would also end up for me like other women. But now I felt something that I hadn’t felt before. I don’t know what it was...
I was fuming with anger right now. Last night I thought we could start as friends, but now she regrets her decision.
Dammit! She was just so damn stubborn.
I was staring at her after yelling and was expecting an apology from her or something like ‘I’m kidding Edan but no. I was so wrong! Instead, she said, “I’m going. That was a big mistake.”
What the fucking crap!
She stood up ready to leave but remain there stood, her hand held the side table as her head started swaying.
“Emma!” I shouted and ran towards her before she fell on the floor. I caught her but she was unconscious. I shook her, even slightly slapped her face but no, she didn’t even move. I felt like the ground had fallen from underneath my feet, like my world shattered to pieces...
“Emma...Emma...!” I called her but to no avail. I had never felt like this before, it felt like I had lost something most precious, most valuable. I called the doctor and put her gently on my lap. After about 15 minutes, the doctor arrived finally.
“What took you so long?” I snapped at him.
“I’m sorry. Mr. Wilton, there was a little traffic...” He stuttered.
I don’t care if there was a traffic or some disaster for all I care was about this girl.
“Shut up... Do your work.” I yelled.
“Yes, sir! Right away. Please lay her on the bed.”
I laid her on the bed gently as he examined her carefully.
“What’s wrong?” I was so worried about her.
“She’s too weak. I think there is something troubling her. Does she pass out often?” The doctor questioned and I didn’t know what to answer. I don’t know anything about Emma. I don’t even know why she passed out or what was the reason behind it.
I don’t know.
“Don’t know.” I shook my head as the doctor nodded, and started to think.
“The possible reason behind her sudden pass out could be some stress or she’s thinking about something so deeply. I think something has affected her mind really bad and this has affected her health too.”
“What?” I snapped at him.
What stress? What the fuck!
“Sir if she will remain continuously in that condition I mean under continuous stress. Then this could affect her brain badly. Depression, stress isn’t a good thing if it last longer. It could cause your brain to malfunction.” He replied.
That’s not good. I can’t let anything happen to her...
“When will she wake up?”
“I think in few hours. She should rest. I think she has been stressing about something quite lately. I’ll give her some vitamins.” The doctor said and prescribed some medicines. I gave him a nod and with that, he left. I looked at her sleeping stature. Her face pale and her breathing calm.
She had been working so hard on those deals we wanted. I even told her to rest a bit but no, she didn’t listen at all. I bet she had put all-nighters and worked really hard. And aside from that, I didn’t know she has something else troubling her. She suffered from a lot I guess and I couldn’t even understand her. I sat beside Emma and hold her hand as I looked at her sleeping. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful.
“What are you doing to me, Emma? Who are you? Why have you not fallen for me? Why Emma? Why are you so important to me? Why am I feeling these strange things? Why did I feel like my whole world is shattered to pieces? What are you hiding from me?” I sighed as I gently kissed her on the cheek.
How was I gonna find the answers to these questions? To whom should I talk. Was I ill or something? Why can’t I seem to get her out of my mind?