(Ch. 21) Mistake
I don’t know what just happened and I couldn’t seem to function. I was so lost in that kiss...
Edan had taken me by surprise and now he was kissing me. It was nothing like the kisses with Den. It was damn different. It was a whole different feeling, a whole new experience. I feel like I was on cloud nine.
But I’ve to stop it...
I tried to push him away but he held me closer, his hand on my waist. I applied some force on his chest but he didn’t move a bit. My legs become jellylike and I was pretty sure if Edan hadn’t been holding me I wouldn’t be standing right now. He bit my lower lip and I tried my best not to moan. He asked me for the entry but I kept my mouth shut.
This all was wrong...
But why it felt so right?
“Damn it, Emma! Kiss me.” He whispered while parting away for milliseconds before his lips were on mine again.
He squeezed my butt and this made me gasped. He took this as an opportunity and gain entry into my mouth and there I couldn’t control it. Closing my eyes, I kissed him back with the same passion. I could feel his smile against my lips. My hands moved towards his black hairs and I pulled them. I had never been kissed like this before...it was so amazing.
I felt so amazing...
He drew back and started kissing my jawline, my ear while his one hand on my thigh and other on my waist.
“Say my name,” Edan said before his lips were on mine again.
Say his name?
I need to stop it.
I tried my best to stop this but my body not listening to me as my lips rolled his name on his own record.
“E-Edan...” I whispered as my lips moving on its own. I had never felt this way before, even not during my first kiss. I felt like he had drugged me.
Damn it! What the hell! It’s so damn wrong.
Edan drew back and rest his forehead on mine. We both panting heavily. My eyes staring into his ocean eyes.
God! Why do I love them...
“E-Edan...” I whispered trying to talk but he put his finger on my lips shushing me.
He held my cheek gently and looked into my eyes. There was something different in his eyes which I couldn’t comprehend. It was a new feeling, some mysterious thing.
“That was the best kiss I ever had... You don’t know from how long I wanted to do this... For how long I wanted to kiss those red lips...” He said kissing my lips again as I inhaled a deep breath.
“Emma... You’re mine and only mine. No one could have you... No one.” He said. His grip getting stronger around me and I don’t know why but I was loving this thing. The more I want to deny it, the more I was loving it. I loved that kiss. I loved how Edan makes me feel.
Emma... You can’t do this. You have to let it go. This was a mistake. A Big Mistake... He’s a player and no way in hell he will ever fall in love with you... You’re a nobody and he’s a somebody... You’re nothing Emma...nothing...keep that in mind...
My conscience reminded me as I pushed Edan away and he looked at me with shocked eyes.
I can’t have you. You can’t have me.
“E-Emma?” He started.
“That was a mistake...“I cut his sentence holding back my tears.
His expression changed from surprised one to an angry one.
“That was a mistake? A mistake?” He scoffed in anger.
“A mistake? Damn!” He balled his hand into a fist and bang it on the table making me flinch.
“How can you say that Emma? How? That was the best kiss I ever had... And now you’re saying that it was a mistake... A DAMN Mistake! Damn it, Emma... Damn it.” He yelled his eyes getting angrier.
I know I had hurt him but I have to stop this before its too late before I was deeply in love with him. Before I fall for him hard...
“Look Edan. I- I’m sorry. I just can’t...I can’t.” I tried to explain him as he stepped closer and grabbing my shoulders slightly shook me.
“Why Emma? Why you can’t? Why? Can’t you see I have feelings for you. These damn feelings... and they are getting stronger each day. Stronger!” His voice getting lower and lower.
My heart skipped a beat at his words and I wanted to stay with him. I wanted to feel new things with him. I want to explore my own feelings with him but I was a coward, I was not strong. I was afraid that I might fall in love again.
His help, his care for me and how he rescued me from Den, made my heart grow soft for him. I started to like him deep down but I will never show him. I don’t want to make his life a hell as well and I don’t want to turn this liking to love. It’ll only hurt me.
“Please! Forgive me... You deserve better.” With a last glance towards him, I went out of the office. I placed my hand over my mouth to muffle my cries. I didn’t miss the hurt that was showing clearly in his eyes.
I’m sorry Edan, but I can’t fall in love again... You don’t know what I had been through Edan. You can’t find what you’re looking for, in me. I cannot make you happy.
I went straight to the washroom and cried all my emotions out.
“I’m so sorry Edan... So sorry. I just can’t... I can’t.”
A mistake? A damn mistake? How could she say that? I had never felt this way before.
Emma why were you doing this to me? Why? From the first day, I want to kiss her. I want to make her mine but she rejected me... she rejected me.
Damn it...Damn it.
How could she do that? No one has ever rejected me before. No one... She’s the only girl who got the nerve to reject me...
I was falling hard for her and I have to stop it.
I thought by kissing her, everything will be over but no damn! I was wrong, these feelings got even stronger and now I want more.
I want her... She was mine and only mine. Emma! I was going to get you...I was gonna make you fall for me. I’ll get you and then you will be mine. Only mine. I know there was something stopping you from falling for me and I was gonna find it and crush it.
And I may know the right person to talk about it.
I pulled out my phone and dial the number. After three rings the person finally picked up.
“Hello Mr. James?”
“It’s me Edan,” I replied.
“Oh yes. Edan! What can I do for you?” He sounded pleased.
“There is something I want to ask you about.” I said as my mind playing her words. Her every word deeply hurting me.
“What you want to ask?” He inquired politely and by his voice, I can sense some fear.
“Not on the phone. I’ll meet you in 2 hours. It’s very important.”
“Okay. I hope everything’s fine.” His voice laced with worry as I sighed assuring him every thing was fine.
But for me, nothing was fine now.
“I’ll see you then.” With that, I hung up.
I went to my car and starting the engine, drove as fast as I could and after one hour of drive, I was in front of Emma’s house. I knocked the door and it got opened by Mrs. James.
“Edan... What a surprise?” She hugged me and I was glad. At least her parents were nice to me.
“Well, Mrs. James sorry for the disturbance.” I started as she smiled. Her facial features, her smile, her grey eyes. These all were just like Emma.
My heart clenched on remembering Emma and her hurtful words.
“Call me Rebecca.” Her mom said with her smile as I simply nodded.
“Rebecca! I came here to meet Mr. James.” I replied seriously.
“Everything okay?” She said worriedly and as I was going to assure her, I heard his voice.
“Edan you have arrived.” I looked behind Rebecca to see Mr. James standing there.
“Come in dear.” He said and I went in along with her. He led me to a small door that led to his office as I sat on the sofa while Mr. James and Rebecca sat on the couch in front of me.
“You said there was something important?” He asked and I nodded.
“I want to know about Emma’s past.” I came straight to the point as there was no use of beating about the bush. They looked at each other surprised then looked at me.
“What happened?” Rebecca asked as her eyes showing a horror in them.
“The thing is I have. I-I have these strange feelings for Emma and I have told her. But she rejected me saying she’s not good for me. She says she can’t do that. I don’t know what’s her problem and why she behaves that way? I guessed there may be something troubling her so...” I paused.
“I came here. You’re her parents and you know her. I thought that you could help me to win her heart.” I told them the reason for me being here. Her mother put her hand on her mouth as a muffled sob left her mouth.
" My poor baby... She still thinks that it’s all her fault, James.” She sobbed while Mr. James comforted her.
“What’s her fault?” I questioned getting curious to know her past.
“Look Edan... We appreciate your feelings and we want Emma to be happy. We believe in you and we will support you. But... believe me, it’s not our place to tell you that.” He paused and sighed.
“It’s her.” He said referring to Emma as I sighed.
“She won’t tell me. Maybe you can give me some hint or something?” I pleaded.
I need to know. Even if its little!
He thought for a minute and nodded, agreeing on telling me.
“I’m going to tell you something but promise me you won’t tell Emma about it.”
“I promise...” I assured him, ready to hear about her troubles.