(Ch. 34) Girl's Time
“Emma? Answer that question.” Kate demanded.
“I-I-I... ” I don’t know how to say that.
Damn it! I’m not even sure about my own feelings. How can I answer that? I’m not able to answer my own question. How can I answer their question?
Why in the hell I even agreed to play this stupid game???
“You-You?” Violet said with a smirk and I rolled my eyes.
I seriously want to wipe that smirk off her face. How could she do that? She gave this question.
“Emma? For God Sake... Just answer that damn question. We are dying here with curiosity.” Kate was definitely losing her control, but for Violet, she was calm as if she knew already about this.
“Okay. Fine.” I inhaled deeply.
Here goes nothing. I’m going to answer this question. Relax. Don’t need to get fed up. Relax Emma.
For God sake Emma! Why are you even acting this way? It’s a simple question idiot. Just answer that.
Okay. I’m going to answer it.
“Y-e-s?” I said merely a whisper. It came out much like a question.
“Oh my god! How it just happen? When you even start liking him? How far have you gone? Did he kiss you? Did you kiss him? Did you go on a date? Well, of course, you haven’t. I would have known if you had gone with him. Seriously, don’t tell me, you did go on a date with your sexy, hot boss and didn’t tell me. Oh my God! Emma! Don’t tell me you! Did you both make out?”
“NO!” I instantly answered to cut off Kate’s ramble. She just won’t stop asking those questions, she was getting so out of control now as she was constantly blabbing about this thing.
“I knew it. I had a hunch that something was going on between you. Well, look like I just proved my point.” Violet smiled leaving me mouth agape.
How did she even had a hunch about it? I didn’t tell anyone. Hell!! I didn’t know it myself. I had myself just known these strange feelings recently.
How could she?
“You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?” Kate pouted looking at Violet and I was all confused.
“Kai! Just think about it. Would you have believed me if I had told you about it earlier? Damn! I wasn’t even sure about it myself. So, I thought Emma should tell us by herself.” She smiled and Kate nodded agreeing.
“So, tell us, Emma. How did you even start liking him? I know he is every women’s dream. Every woman wants him. Even little girls have a crush on him. Oh! I remember something. Did I tell you about a girl who was having Edan’s picture in her hands?” Violet asked with gleaming eyes and Kate shook a no.
Well, I wasn’t interested, the only thing that I thinking was how to give them their answers? I knew there were going to be a lot of questions.
“It’s kind of funny. Okay. Once I was in a supermarket buying some grocery. I saw a girl, crying to her mommy. She was demanding for something, I came closer to her to see she was demanding not for just something but someone and you know who that someone was? Well, take a good guess. It was our very own sexy boss. That girl was holding Edan’s pic. And her words were Mommy! I want him. I love him, I want to marry him. Mommy! He’s my Prince. Mommy! I want him, I want him. Pleasseeee Mommmyyy Pleaaassseee." Violet mimicked the little girl’s voice, trying to act like a girl. And for Kate, well, she was laughing her ass off.
“And her Mommy was like No, dear! You’re so young now. He is not your Prince charming. You will get your Prince when you’ll grow up. But that stubborn little brat, kepy on demanding for him as if he was a toy to get and started crying.” Violet told us about that little girl and Kate was really enjoying that story. But for me, I was lost in my tracks of thought.
After laughing and chatting for some time. Their attention again drew towards me.
“So, Emma. You were telling us?”
“So, you like him. How far have you gone in your this secret relationship? Huh?” Violet wriggled her eyebrows and I bit my inner cheek.
“We haven’t gone any far. I-I don’t know much about us. I’m full on confused. I... I don’t know, I am not sure of these strange feelings that I’m feeling. I just don’t have any idea, what to do. I... I... I just want to get away from these shitty feelings.” I paused as I felt my chest getting heavy.
“I don’t wanna feel... I want a break. Please, just help me get rid of these feelings. They hurt me from inside. I don’t wanna feel these feelings.” I didn’t notice when I started crying, tears escape my eyes one by one, wetting my cheeks.
“Oh, Emma! Don’t push yourself so hard. It’s okay. Its okay for you to feel. Everyone falls in love. You should give it a try.” Kate hugged me, saying those words to make me feel better and I shook my head.
“Kai is definitely right. Emma don’t push yourself so hard. Let it happen. You like Edan, right? So, why don’t you just give it a try? Everyone needs someone to be her prince charming. Everyone needs someone to love her, cherish her and treasure her. What if you two are meant to be together? What if it was written in your fate to find each other, to be one another’s side?” Violet hugged me and tried to comfort me but they don’t know how hard it is for me.
Violet really thinks that I could find love, but she didn’t know the reality. The reality that I could never find love. For me, the word love don’t exist.
“Thanks for all of this, but for me love don’t exist.” I simply replied wiping my tears and giving them a broken smile.
“Emma! Are you an idiot or something? What the hell do you mean that love doesn’t exist for you? What are we to you? What the hell is your family to you? Don’t we love you? Don’t you love us?” Violet snapped at me making me shock.
She was right. I do love my family, I do love my friends. So, that meant I was capable of being in love?
I nodded towards her. ” I love you all. You all mean everything to me. I love you all from the bottom of my heart. I don’t even know, how I would have lived without you all.” I hugged them and they hugged me in return.
“But you know, this love isn’t the same thing for Edan. Love is of different kinds. The love for family and friends is totally different from the kind of love you experience in a relationship.” I replied with the same broken smile lingering on my lips.
“But the basis of this all kinds of love is one. You know that, right?” Kate said smiling and I couldn’t deny but agree with them both. They both were right. The basis is same but the branches are different and these differences are the difficult ones.
“So, what about you and Kevin?” I sniffed and smiling, changed the topic. Violet instantly turned red and a huge grin took its place on her lips.
“Come on. Tell us.” Kate smiled nudging her with her elbow.
She smiled and told us about her and Kevin. She was glowing and the love she felt for Kevin was evident in her eyes. She looked so calm and cheerful. She looked happy.
“He kissed me. That kiss, Oh my God! Was the best kiss I ever had. It felt like a dream. I love the kiss.” Violet sighed dreamily. We both chuckled at her sigh. She told us one or two more of their cute moments and then once again, the topic shifted to me.
Just great! Urgh!!!
“So, Emma. Tell us about you and Edan.” She asked me and I averted my eyes.
“Well. There is nothing much.” I whispered and started playing with my fingers. I bit my lower lip and my eyes settled on the white wall in front.
“Come on! Tell us everything from the start. Don’t you dare leave any juicy details.” Violet gave me a stern look and then winked at me.
I sighed knowing that there was no escape for me now and ended up telling them everything from the start. The day I entered in his office to that day when he said me I Love You. I couldn’t help to refrain myself from heating up. My cheeks would warm up as a smile would make its way to my lips whenever I would say his name.
“So much happened between you two and you didn’t tell us? How could you be that cruel? And I thought we were best friends.” Kate complained.
There she goes again, trying to blackmail me emotionally.
“I told you. I wasn’t even sure about my own feelings. How could I tell you?” I tried to reason with her. She placed a finger on her chin and after thinking for a while, she smiled.
“It’s okay. I forgive you.” She grinned and I let out a chuckle at her teasing behavior.
“So, are you going to give it a try? Are you ready to let your feelings lead you?” Violet asked. I shrugged not knowing myself. I don’t know if I was ready or not.
“The truth is, I don’t know. I’m afraid to again fall for anyone. What if I ended up being a broken mess again? What if it is a game? What if I’m the pawn in his little love game? I’m afraid of all this. I cannot afford another heartbreak.” I lowered my head and heaved a long sigh.
“What do you mean again?” They both asked in unison. The surprise evident in their voice. I bit my tongue and mentally cursed myself.
Damn! My tongue slipped.
“Emma? Had you ever fallen in love before? Had you?” Their eyes staring at me demanding for an answer. I was helpless now, knowing that there was no choice but to tell them.
I was not going to lie again to them. I was done of lying and hiding. I simply nodded and started my story. My eyes got welled up with tears as the days that I had spent with Den started appearing before my eyes. They were playing like a movie. A tragic and horrible movie.
“Emma! Tell us. We are here for you.” Their voice filled with care and concern when in between, a sob left my mouth.
I told them all about Den. My first love and the happy moments I spent with him. But, then everything changed in a flash. Those happy moments were taken away from me. I told them, how he tried to take advantage of me. How he tried to force himself on me. I told them about that horrible night. The night that haunted me for four years. I told them how that night became my worst nightmare. I told them everything from the start.
“That’s why I don’t want to fall for a guy again. I’m afraid.” I hid my face in my hands to hide my tears.
I was feeling so vulnerable. How pathetic of me...
I was such a cry baby..
“We are sorry. We didn’t know that you had been through this much.” They whispered and hugged me tightly, saying soothing words in my ears and comforting me.
“So, that’s why you hate guys?” Violet questioned to which I simply nodded.
“I... I just don’t know who to trust and who not to,” I replied with a sigh.
“Emma. I wish that I was there with you at that time. I could have beat the shit out of him.” Violet gritted her teeth fisting her hands into a punch.
“Me too. Emma. We are sorry, we weren’t there for you when you needed us the most.” Kate said holding my hand. I smiled at her.
“Why are you saying this? It isn’t your fault. It was just my luck.”
A Bad luck.
“Now. Enough of this drama. Let’s forget about all this shitty past and have a little fun. We are going to move towards our future.” Violet tried to cheer me up. She stood up on my bed and like a captain, gave her speech.
“Yeah! Let’s have some funnnn... I know! A pillow fight....” Kate gushed and then laughed. She took a plush cushion and Violet grabbed one too. Before I could brace myself, they both attacked me.
After laughing and teasing for an hour, we were exhausted and went to sleep.
I enjoyed this our girls time. Today I told everything to them. But they didn’t even judge me by my past. I was indeed blessed to have them as my friends. I didn’t realize what I was missing in my life. I never had a friend before. All girls used to hate me back then. I don’t know even what I did to them but their behavior towards me was always harsh.
But today I experienced true friendship. I love my friends. They were even more than sisters to me. Today I get to know what is the meaning of real friendship. Friends are those who don’t judge you by anything, they believe in you. They will listen to you when you are in trouble. They will never leave your side whether you are in pain or pleasure. They will always be there for you when you need them.
I smiled and thanked God for all he had given to me.
My family, my friends, and Edan...