(Ch. 37) Girlfriend?
The instant she kissed me on my cheek. I couldn’t help but keep back this great urge to take her right now, right here. I wanted her badly but I also needed to calm myself down or I might scare her or even lose her.
Calm down Edan!!! She’s only yours. She isn’t going anywhere.
I took in deep breaths but it wasn’t a big help and all I wanted was to kiss her senselessly so I crashed my lips on hers. I kissed her first gently then possessively. My intention was to put all that love I felt for her in this kiss. To pour my love in this kiss.
Thankfully she didn’t protest and our tongues danced in unison. Both battling to get the upper hand. In the end, I won. Her grip around my neck tighten and her one hand moved to my hair gripping it. I grabbed her waist and in a moment her legs were wrapped around my waist.
For milliseconds we parted to grasp for air and then I kissed her senselessly again. Trying to take her breath away. Her back hit the door as I kissed her jawline and then her neck. I trailed kisses from her lips to her nose and then on her forehead.
She moaned and I felt proud of myself. I smiled inwardly knowing that she was loving the way I was making her feel. I captured her lips again, biting her lower lip and her grip tightened around my neck. I couldn’t seem to stop and I knew deep down that...
I didn’t want to stop.
I wanted her right now. I didn’t know if I would be able to resist this urge.
Edan! Damn it... Control.
“Emma! I- I can’t stop. Stop me.” I kissed her jawline, her neck and trailed kisses on her bare shoulders. She only moaned in response making it more difficult for me.
Damn it! Emma! Stop me or I won’t be able to hold my inner beast back.
I groaned as I was getting closer and closer to losing my control. She was making me lose my mind and my control and I didn’t want to scare her but it was getting difficult to stop now. At once our hot make out session was disturbed by the ring of a phone, bringing our selves to our senses.
“Emma! I- I can’t stop. Stop me.” Edan whispered while trailing hot kisses on my neck and my jawline. I moaned in response to his kisses. I don’t know what was happening to me. I don’t know the reason that why my body was getting out of control. But it was strange.
I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted him. I wanted to tell him that don’t stop. But deep down I knew that I was not ready to go that far. That vicious night was still alive in my memory and I cannot easily forget the damage that night brought to me.
I have to stop this or else I won’t be able to stop my own self...
I heard Edan groan as my phone rang and I jumped at its ringtone. I unwrapped my legs and climbing down from his waist, stood in front of him. His hand on my waist to keep me steady. My legs were all wobbly due to that hot session and clearing my throat, I picked up the call.
“Hello...” I said while panting heavily.
“Damn it, Emma!!! Keep it low. You wanna wake up the neighbours or something. Girl! You should get a bedroom. I know he may not be able to control himself but-” I disconnected the call to stop continuous blabbing of Kate. My cheeks warmed up as our latest hot session swirled before my eyes.
Were we that loud? Damn it...
What if someone had seen us? Urgh... I’m not much a public showing person but now with Edan... I just lost my control.
What the hell had gotten me? And how my legs got wrapped around his waist? It’s so embarrassing. I should die of embarrassment.
“So...” I heard Edan’s voice as I was busy cursing my own self.
“Hmm.” I simply hummed not knowing what to say, especially after acting boldly at once and after getting a hot kiss from him.
“I want to ask you something...” He held my hands and looked deep into my eyes and I let out a deep breath. Our gaze locked on each other and my eyes staring in his with shock and bewilderment. I bit my inner cheek getting nervous by just thinking about what he was going to ask. My heart beating fast in my ribcage and I could feel the warm creeping up my body.
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
He asked so smoothly and there my heart stopped beating. Thousands of butterflies started dancing in my stomach and my breath stuck up in my own throat. My mouth wasn’t being able to utter a single word as I gulped down this strange feeling. I stood there numb. This whole feeling was different. I never felt this way back then when Den asked me to be his girlfriend but now when Edan asked me, it was completely strange and different yet difficult and warm.
This all looked like a dream. A dream which I was afraid was going to end soon. I was afraid that it might vanish at the moment when I would wake up. I was scared that when I would wake up in a bitter yet true reality, he will be long gone.
“It’s fine. Take your time. No need to worry. I’ll be waiting for your answer.” Edan assured me when I took too much of a time to reply. He drew closer and lightly kissed my cheek.
My answer? I don’t know what to answer.
I wanted to say yes but I couldn’t say it. I was still a little afraid. I didn’t know what to answer him. Should I say yes or a no? Was I ready to be his girlfriend? Will I be happy after that? Or will that night repeat itself?
No! Please don’t let it repeat.
I closed my eyes and heaved a long sigh.
Emma! You said that you’ll let your feelings lead you. So let them lead you...
My feelings... It’s true that I had strong feelings for Edan. But, still, I was not sure about my own self that was I ready for this next and new step. A step that might end me up on a complete change or a shattered death.
Yes, he is right. I need time. I’ll give him his answer but after some time.
I simply nodded indicating him that I’ll take my time but I’ll surely reply to his question. Just not now.
“Good Night, My Emma.” He smiled and giving me a last peck on my lips, went towards the elevator.
As soon as he turned around, I instantly started missing his warmth. I stood there seeing him leave. He at once turned his face, looked at me and smiled, showing his billion dollars smile and then entered the lift.
I unlocked my door and went straight to my room. All this time, I was smiling like a small child. My mind kept on remembering our date as I looked at my pendant and my heart filled with overwhelmed emotions. My heart dancing with happiness., my inner self-dancing with joy and I knew that no one had ever made me so happy in a long time. I felt someone special and I felt loved for the first time.
Have I fallen in love with him?
I think yes. I did. I have fallen for him.
I love him.
I looked at them kissing. That bastard was sucking her face and I had to keep my anger under control. I wanted to kill that bastard for taking her away from me. That night in the bar, she was lucky to be helped by him but now I’ll make him regret.
He will regret it. How dare he came near my girl? How dare he kissed her? She is only mine. Only mine and no one can have her except me.
He will pay for this. Yes, he will die and I’ll make sure of it.
I stood there watching them as their hot make-out session continued. I had to keep myself back from hitting that mother****.
Their shit session was disturbed by some phone and I looked at her. She looked so beautiful in that dress. Oh, how I wanted to rip that dress off her. I will take her back. I will take her and this time she won’t be able to escape me and if she does leave me, I’ll kill her.
Yes! I will kill her.
This time she won’t be able to escape me and I will make sure of it, and this time her little boyfriend won’t be able to save her because he would be already dead by then.
I looked at her as her shitty boyfriend headed towards the elevator and I hid in the dark corner of the corridor. I watched them as he stepped into the elevator and she unlocked her door and went in.
I smiled stepping out of the corner and taking the stairs down, I went out of the building. I smirked remembering her.
This time you will be mine and only mine.
You were mine and you will be mine.
This time no one will save you from me. No one will save you from this monster now.
“My sweet Emmie. I’m coming to get you and this time I’ll make you mine. Fully mine. Just wait for me.” I laughed and walked into the darkness of the trees.