It was another boring Sunday morning “Wake up! it’s almost 10”– shouted mom. Tired and exhausted due to last night’s exciting match, I gazed at the open window for about 15 minutes till the sun rays hurt my eyes and I finally needed to get up from my bed. “Arghh! my back pains due to sitting in that wooden chair last night”– I mumbled inside. I quickly dressed up, picked up my phone and went to the balcony for some fresh aroma of the skies above.
There were three notifications on my phone, two of which consisted of an email (which I was sure was some spam mail) and a Candy Crush ‘Full Lives’ Notification. But what caught my attention was the tiny Instagram icon in the top left corner of my android phone. Was it a text from her? Maybe, but I wasn’t sure.
“It must be some random friend liking my post or mentioning me in some meme I had no relation with” -I tried to control my overgrowing excitement.
But NO! I didn’t have the courage to pull the notification bar down, rather I decided to do all the hard work required to go over my installed apps, search for Instagram and click the icon to crack the unsolved mystery (see how hardworking I’m?) There was something on my inbox. Yes, it was her! She replied a “Thank you” for the Birthday Wish I sent her at 12 midnight. “What should I do now? should I write back ‘you’re welcome’? or some weird emoji? or should I ignore the text and stop being like a jerk?”- my brain was being surrounded by “should I?”s, but I decided to reply with a “YW” followed by a colon and an end parenthesis which I regret wasn’t a good idea as the message was immediately seen but never replied back. Seriously? Just a thank you? Don’t I even deserve to be called for your birthday party? Is a “thank you” (with no emoji of course) just enough for all the hard work needed to stay awake till midnight especially when you sleep at 10 PM on other days? You might think me of a creepy kid but honestly being called for her birthday party is just an excuse for those beautiful moments of joy I would be spending with her, just an excuse and nothing else.
“Nevermind, she might have an ‘only for girls’ party”– some strange but heart consoling sound echoed in my ears.
I wish I would have told her the truth today, I wish I would have expressed my feelings for her but the only reason holding me back is the constant fear of being rejected, the fear of being removed even from her list of friends. Will she ever accept me as something more than a friend? or at least as a true friend? I don’t know that for sure but what I know is I have successfully spent another day of my life failing to express my thoughts. Hi, I’m Jack and another set of thoughts were left UNSPOKEN…
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