A dusky sky adjourned by the heavens diamonds stretched from one side of the vista to the other, hinting the living creatures on earth that the twilight would come soon. The fresh scent of the sea breezed containing a crisp chill, but Rainie was only vaguely aware of her surroundings.
She was unaware for almost everything as she walking down with Draven’s hand tucked in hers. His touch, his presence were un-sensitizing all of her senses. Rainie was wrapped in bubbling happiness and determined to make this a fulfilled and wonderful night she ought to always remember no matter what happened in the past and in the future also.
Oh, yes she felt as much as close as being wonderful. Everything was seemingly almost perfect. Her appearance was flawless from head to toe. It was almost surreal for her. However, though the make-up, the dress indeed enhanced her beauty, it wasn’t her appearance at that made her so wonderful. It wasn’t the sparkling jewelries that made this feeling so magical.
It was a man who was holding her hand that made everything so enchanting. But, his warm hand assured her that it was real after all.
Somehow, in between reality and dream, Rainie’s brain was still functioning to remember a quote she had read somewhere before. It had been written by Saint Lauren and it had been stated that the most beautiful clothes that a woman could wear were the arms of the man she loved.
Well, Rainie did not know how to describe the last part, regarding the man she loved. However, generally the quote was correct. She felt wonderful and beautifully clothed because of Draven and yet there was a slight of wariness somewhere in the darkness of her heart.
“How are you feeling?” He asked softly, the shining in his eyes melted against the dim illumination around them.
“Oh, I’m good.” Her voice sounded breathless, even to her, and as she lifted her gaze to him, she was drowned in their depths. “Actually I feel wonderful.”
A smiled played at the corner of his sculpted mouth. There was the mixed look of amusement and bemusement in his dark eyes. “I’m glad that you feel wonderful.” He murmured. His deep accent making her insides quiver. “And you’re wonderful, Rainie…Really look wonderful this evening.”
“Thank you.” She said and stared at his fantastic dark eyes which did not waver from her face. “It’s all because of you.” The words came from her mouth before she could stop them. “You’re the one that makes things so wonderful and…” She cut off dead, biting her lip. “I mean you’re such a kind person.” She made a face. “Anyway…” She swallowed. “Because of you that I feel…Um…Eerrr… wonderful.” Hastily, Rainie rolled her eyes in embarrassment at behaving like an idiot.
The trouble with her was, she always suddenly lost for words in front of him. Well, if it was not word she lost, it was her sanity, or her senses.
Draven halted, tugging her hand lightly to make her to stop also. His other hand lifted. Fingers gently touched her cheek as a brisk breeze whipped a curl across her face. He then tucked it around her ear. “You don’t have to say anything.” He told her softly. “Though, I’ve to admit that I’m glad you told me those things.” He leaned forward and kissed her on her forehead. “The feeling is mutual.”
Rainie gave a wide smile as Draven drew back and met her eyes with such tenderness that made the happiness refilled her like a warm balloon and she started floating up from the ground. Too much analogy, she knew but it was exactly how she felt. Especially when he lowered his mouth to brush hers lightly, lingeringly. Then he drew back, nodding towards the venue where the party was held.
“Let’s go.” Said Draven, the half smile at his mouth reappeared and honestly that was one of the cause Rainie lost her senses.
Rainie nodded gently. “Yes. Let’s.” She said, tapering her hand on his.
Tucking her hand proprietarily into his hand, they left the seaside and walked in serene quietness, just contented to be at each other presences.
Honestly Rainie did not know when the last time she had felt this way. Just like this, without the conversation she had felt ease with someone.
Even when she had been with Chloe or other friends, she had needed to crack up her brain to make the conversation with them. It was not as if she had not been comfortable with them, but sometimes she just needed to make up an interesting subject.
Of course with Draven, she had to force herself at the beginning. It had not been a smooth courting; it had been far from perfect. However gradually without her realized, the conciliation between them had been getting stronger.
As the two of them had entered the main cottage hall. She heard the soft sounds of the band, lazy trombones, saxophones and the husky voice of the singer drew nearer. The music filled quietness between the two of them just enough to make the sound a little more other-worldly.
Finally both of them turned a corner of the corridor and found the massive atrium that had been decorated for the appropriate style for Jason and Deira’s party. She had to admit that this party decoration was beautiful almost magical. The illuminations, the colors; gold and silver with the combination with jade was really stunning. Tables of elegant-mouth watering foods were interspersed throughout the room. And all those beautiful ball-gowns set against the stark black of hundreds of dinner jackets, all spinning and turning. It almost seemed as if it was not just individual couples moving, but every person, every pair moved in harmony, creating shifting kaleidoscopic patterns on the marvelous marbled-floor.
As she and Draven had approached closer, Rainie took in the sounds and her vision became clearer not just like vague impression, she saw that not everybody was dancing. True, some were twirling expertly, some merely held onto each other and attempted to match the beat of the music.
“There are Victor and Whitney.” Draven informed whispering in her ears as he directed to a couple who were also swaying at the edge of the dance floor.
Victor and Whitney were so taken up with each other that they were not even really dancing anymore. They were not also moving in time with the music, just moving in time with one another. Victor, as Rainie could see was really handsome. His white suit looked good on him. Not every man was really good in white, but on Victor somehow it only made him look like a prince. While, Whitney…What could she describe about her? Her dark blue tube gown with sparkling beads spreading on the gown was really made her more gorgeous. Victor’s hand held her firmly round her waist. One of Whitney’s hands was cupped at the back of Victor’s neck, claiming him. Their free hands were entwined together and laid against his chest. Both of them were just staring into each other’s eyes. After a few moments, Victor kissed her nose. Whitney sighed and rested her forehead against his before they shuffled away.
“Hmmm, should we go there or stick here?” Rainie asked him after she had seen the scene in front of her. Looking at the couple always fascinated her and it seemed wrong to interrupt their moments there.
He shook his head. “Better not, what do you think?” His eyes were dancing when he looked at her.
Rainie smiled. “So what should we do?”
Draven used his free hand to pull away a lock of his hair. “Dance? Just like everybody else? Perhaps we’re gonna bump into our friends along the way.” Long lashes swept down over his eyes as he baited her gently.
The way he looked at her spreading the heat all over her body. He really was an expert in this kind of deed and made her soul melted, tremendously. “Yes.” Breathlessly Rainie said.
He then took her hand and she felt its familiar warmth and strength closing around her fingers. She could get used to with this idea…Entwining their hands like this was one of things she would cherish in between her memories about him when this dreamt would have ended.
The band started to play another slow music and gently, almost so she did not notice, Draven began to lead her, dance with her, moving with his signature efficient grace.
Her heart was reaching out for him with a persistence that became a sweet ache. No, not only a sweet ache…It was a bittersweet ache. She knew this could not be real. None of this would have existed in her life. It only had to be something to do with this evening, this strange sense of fairy tale that just refused to leave her alone. And that caused her bitter ache.
Suddenly she felt so despondent. She didn’t understand why. Perhaps everything that had happened today had retrieved from her brain. From Draven’s strange behavior, or her conversation with Whitney, or the way he had showered her with wonderful gifts, sweet attention but somehow he had been so distant, always just beyond her fingertips and out of reach
Well, she might have understood why Draven had acted that way. She had been afraid to make this dream alive. She had lost her belief in fairy tale the moment Jason had broken her heart. So, knowing what he had done, she had totally understood.
But as she had looked her friends, though it had been insignificant at first place, the atmosphere between Victor and Whitney had created had surged something inside her.
She wanted just like they had. Not just a week. Not just a month. Not just a year. But a lifetime.
She wanted to have exactly like Victor and Whitney.
Shit! Do I really want it? Or perhaps because Jason finally is going to get married, I want the same things? Is it because of the atmosphere, the situation of the evening that makes me got carried away?
Even though her brain had told her it was the entire spell woven by the magic of the night…The magic she had manufactured herself in her brain thoughtlessly.
She had been driven in this situation too far and did not know how to use the hand-break anymore. If Draven had not offered her a taste of what life might be like if fairy tales happened every day, she would not have felt this miserable, for at least she had known where to stand, how to divide the difference between him and her and when she had needed her time to move on.
But no…He had shown her and somewhere along the way, she had forgotten to stand on her feet. Just because his arms around her waist, pulling her close, or just because his chin was only inches from her forehead and she could smell the fresh his aftershave, it did not mean he would ever be truly hers. He had made her feeling wonderful and Draven might have told her that he had liked her, and had wanted her beyond this weekend, but the damn part was he had never told her to be with her forever.
Then again, did she want to be forever with him? No, it was not really the exact question. The real question was could she trust him forever?
Did it something she had longed to have? Did she really want more from him? Something she was not allowed herself to think or to feel this way.
Rainie sighed heavily, feeling so helpless with her thoughts. Thank goodness Draven was not ostentatious with his dance moves. He only kept her pressed close against him, where she could feel his breath in the roots of her hair, where at least she could only stare at his lapel and avoid those beautiful soulful eyes.
Since she was afraid. She was scared to death to reveal something she had denied two weeks ago.
The frighten feeling of falling in love with Draven. Just like that.
Gosh, please don’t let me fall in love with him, Rainie prayed silently.
It was not as if Draven was not a person whom she could not have fallen in love easily but she knew herself to that extend. Once she fell in love there was no turning back. She would have given him everything. More than just her body, the consolation, her time. He would have had her heart, her soul and her very last breath.
Or so she had thought with Jason.
The song changed to something even mellower, and Draven’s circling moments became smaller and smaller until they were no longer dancing. They simply held each other.
It was almost too breathtaking to be true here amid the echoes of love songs, and fuzzy vision of colors. Her face now was against his shoulder, just the remnant of sway keeping them from immobility. But this was not last forever. The knowledge settled in her like a stone sinking to the bottom of the swimming pool.
How many time did she have to tell herself that Draven and her lived in totally different worlds, different personalities and different point of views. How on earth a fish fell in love with the bird? Where would they have lived?
So much she wanted to but there was no hope. It would not give her security in the future when she thought back to it. The gap between them would not comfort her. It only would burn her, leaving her raw forever, leaving her wanting relief with none to be had.
“Hmm…Draven.” She whispered, stopping their sway.
“I think…” She stammered, swallowed. “I think I need a fresh air.”
Draven stared at her puzzling before he stepped back, giving her space. “Are you okay?” His eyes washed over her and she felt for a moment to stay, being like this surrounded in the surreal world.
But she could not.
“Yes.” Her voice sounded strangulated, and yet she managed herself go on. Because it was after all, her heart was really at stake. With him and the environment like this had suffocated her well-being. Perhaps her thoughts that had made her feel this way, since she had been much closer with him before, but never liked this…Never she had felt so close and yet so far. “I’ll be outside for awhile, okay…” She took another breath. “I just need to relax for a moment…” Her voice trailed off into nerve struck incoherence as she turned around, leaving him.
“Rain…” Draven taunted calling her name softly, doubts assailed him. He reached out for one of her hand. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…” Rainie pulled her hand away. “Please just for moment, I need to get out of here.”
Fathomless eyes were plaintive. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”
“I just need to get out from here.” Rainie urged. “I suddenly feel…”
Promptly Draven lifted his other hand and stroked a gentle finger over her lips, stemming her flow of words, but in doing so, creating a fresh flow of quiver of edginess. “Then I’ll go with you. I don’t want you to go alone. I know it’s a little bit crowded also here. ”
Oh, she wished she could just oblige but her common sense prevailed. It was not just the place, or the event, but it was also him and that made her suffocated.
“No, it’s okay.” She shook her head. “I won’t be long.” Her weak voice was barely audible blended with the music.
Tension crackled in the space separating them. Draven did not like it. She knew that. But she had to be away from him just for a while. She needed to calm her nerves.
“I’ll be back, soon…” She smiled before she started walk away swiftly blending into the crowds.
She did not want to look how she left him along on the dance floor. She did not want to know the way Draven was staring at her. She only knew that she could not be here, in the same room with him while she felt that she was not she used to be, while in her heart, in her mind there were too many questions and yearns she was afraid to open up.
Just like a Pandora box, the temptation to open was too significantly but once it opened, it could absorb everything around and leave her heart unprotected. She needed to keep her heart and her mind shut from this foolish emotion.
Rainie deliberately did not see anyone as she scurried across the vast space of the atrium, past the band and beyond, into the mayhem of quietness of the lobby of the main entrance. No guests were around only two receptionists that were busy and the only noise was a scuffling coming from the fax machine from the receptionist table.
Finally once was outside. She sighed heavily as the sea breeze once again caressed her face. She then began walking across the white sand. The beach was not that big and crescent-shaped as she only had realized.
Fortunately this place was excluded and private, backed by sheer cliffs clothed in green shrubs and trees and that she felt sure mist have a very tenuous hold. It was like being alone in the world. One half of her reveled in her fortune to be in such wildly beautiful place, while the other half was deeply disturbed at the way her feelings were running out of control.
She held her clutch tightly before she took off her shoes, the Cinderella dream had to end here. It was not because the clock stroked at midnight or the spell had to be broken. It was only because this Cinderella had realized something that the dream had to stop here. That there was no future between him and her, since this Cinderella wanted forever, something the prince could not offer her.
The dark ocean lapped gently at her feet. She let the sand and water drift through her toes. Suddenly she had the pushed for throwing her clothes and swim in the cold waters.
She wanted to cool down her mind and why she had suddenly had this feeling.
Why now? And what was it? She did not want to analyze this feeling. She did not even know where to begin with because it was endless. There was reason after reason, impact after impact that made her mind and her heart into a deep confusion.
“Hi little Rain.”
The familiar gruff voice of Jason was close and Rainie whirled around to find that only inches separated them. On contrary to her, he was still wearing his shoes with the immaculate black tuxedo, the persona perfectionist of Jason.
Rainie dragged air into her lungs, stunned. “What are you doing here?” She asked, retreating a step back from him.
“And what are you doing here, Rain?” He asked petulantly, like a child quizzing his parents. His mouth breaking into the easy smile which had captured her heart in the old days.
Rainie shrugged before tearing her gaze from him. “I need to get a fresh air.” She looked down to see her bare feet made deep indentations in the sand before it washed away.
“Yeah me too.” Came the reply.
Rainie looked up and found that Jason was squinting and rubbing the bridge of his nose. That she once had discovered quite endearing. “I thought you should be in the party, Jason.”
“It’s just a party, little Rain.’ He said evenly, avoiding the water touching his polished shoes. “I saw you walking outside, so I decided to follow you.”
Rainie looked at him suspiciously. Her baleful eyes glared at him. “Follow me? Why? Don’t tell me that you want to hurt me just like you did last time?!”
Jason looked blanched at the accusation. His face stark and stretched. “No, of course not.” He replied after awhile. “As matter of fact, I want to apologize to you. No…” He shook his head heavily. “Actually I owe you an overdue apology.”
The sheer effrontery of his confession took Rainie’s breath away. “Excuse me?” She hissed disbelief. It was the last thing that would have come up from Jason’s mouth.
This man was a numero uno in the arrogant list. There was no way that he would have apologized to her at any cost…Unless he had hidden agenda.
“You’re right, Rain…I shouldn’t have left you.” He made his treading towards her. “It’s you that I realized I want to spend my life with.”
Rainie’s eyes widened disbelievingly for many of these didn’t make senses at all. “Spend my life with?” She echoed horrorstruck, backing away from him. “Why are you telling me this?”
Jason shuffled a little as if he was just about to say something very neutral to placate her. “Because I realized it now and I know it’s too late but I can’t help it.”
Well, obvious his effort went to the drain. She was still in deep shock. This situation was really out of control right now. Her confusion feeling towards Draven had not been solved yet and now this…
She shut her eyes, unable to bear these problems. Unable to see Jason’s face and tried to forget what he had said. However, the moment her eyes closed another face haunted her. Another voice’s resonance ricocheted within her mind.
The sultry voice that only belonged to Draven.
I want you not only for this weekend. I want to spend time with you. Days and nights. I want to share my daily life just like I want to hear yours. I want to take you to places that both of us enjoy. I want to make love with you on the beach and having a candlelight dinner there even just sharing the burgers.
I want to do crazy things with you, because I’m crazy about you.
Shaking her head, she tried to erase the memory of his saying but it failed miserably. Her stomach hollowed at her thoughts.
“Rain?” Jason’s voice pulled her from her scattered thoughts.
She opened her eyes and looked at the man who had many times had broken her heart. Who she had always thought that she would have spent her life with. To whom she would have given her everything in the past. Whom she had once considered to return to him and had doubted her best friends opinion about him, doubted Draven’s nice gesture towards her just because of Jason.
And now, somehow it had gone.
She gave her time to study him as she stared at him.
Jason was not really as handsome as she remembered him. And why did not she see how weak his mouth looks before? How weak and almost pretty his whole face was? And so was his personality.
Coldness came. She did not hate Jason. She simply felt indifferent and absolutely nothing.
Rainie wondered what he would suggest to her. Well, knowing him, perhaps he would still keep his status as a married man but wanted to keep her also. Jason would not want to lose his status. It was too valuable for him.
And regarding to what he had said earlier, it had been simply Jason was too greedy. Besides the broke-up part and last week behavior, Jason had always been with his good manners she once thought were natural but now knew were all part of the cultivated charm. Jason could be very charming man when he had chased something.
She had been the victim before. But not anymore.
“Thank you.” She smiled, avoiding physical contact by sliding further away from him at once. “But I don’t think we have something in common anymore.”
“Really?” He asked. There was definitely an element of pique that he could not quite hide in his manner. She saw him glance at her and oddly it prepared her for his next question. “Don’t tell me that you have something in common with Draven.” He stated in the faintly mocking tone.
“What if I have something in common with him?” Rainie slid her eyes to him. Jason perhaps was right that she had nothing in common with Draven, but she would not admit to Jason. “Don’t you think that we aren’t compatible?”
Jason stared at her as thought he couldn’t believe it was Rainie. The same girl that had followed him like a puppy. The same girl that had broken apart like fragile china in his hand. The same girl that would have said yes million times to him if he had asked her back two weeks ago, or even a week ago.
But then she did not feel like the Rainie he had known anymore, she realized with a great surge of joy. She finally had moved on. She really had left everything this sordid heartbreak in the past.
It was a moment of two before he pulled himself together enough to say. “Don’t get me wrong, little Rain… but Draven and you are world apart. In case you forgot that he always brings different girl in every occasion every time we gathered together. You might his flavor of the week or even the month. Oh, he might like you for a moment. But it doesn’t change anything. We all know his habit.”
Her eyes flashed fire. She did not like the way Jason demeaned Draven, it was disconcerting, though it was the truth. But it didn’t mean that he had to tell her that. “Stop saying things about Draven. You’re not better than him. So please stop acting like you’re a saint.” She said coldly, aware that heat of resentment was emphasizing her cheekbones
“Oh come on little Rain, you don’t expect that he likes you, do you?” He said instantly.
Reduced to frustrated stunned by his blunt statement, Rainie gave him another haughty glare and stared off down the path towards the hotel.
“He just wants to get into your pants.” From behind Jason said deliberately against the breeze. “Perhaps he had now, so you just wait that he will dump you.”
Rainie halted, turning around but she stayed to her ground. “You mean just like you did to me?” She retorted, hating herself that she was influenced by his remark.
“I made mistake. I shouldn’t have dumped you.”
Rainie gave a mirthless laughter. “Tell me something, out of curiosity,” She began. “Are you going to break-up your engagement to return to me?”
A smile that she regretted once she had been in love with, crept on his face. “Well, I’m sure we can arrange something about that.” He said smoothly, walking towards her like a wild cat teased his prey. “But I definitely wouldn’t want to lose you, again.”
She pressed her lips together in a thin line. She was correct about his plan. Still, his statement irritated her. Yet now, she knew she was wrong with her analytical before, she had thought that she had only felt indifference towards him. Rainie also realized she had seen him in another dimension. She degraded him and his acting like Mr. cool, rich person. “So you want to keep both of us?”
“I didn’t say that.” Jason snarled. “I’m sure that you’ll understand. I need Deidra for my position in the law firm but once I have everything, we’ll share it together. Just like Bonny and Clyde.”
“I don’t think I’ll understand, Jason.” She clarified, rubbing her tight neck. “And I think it’s just your illusion that I want to run away with your wife’s money just like fugitives. I’m not that greedy, like you are.”
“Oh come on, little Rain, we can have everything.”
His calm manner sent her temper soaring. “I’m not going to degrade myself as low as you are. If you want to do it, then you do it solo, not even in my dream that I’d do it with you.”
Jason’s mouth twisted mockingly. “Is this because of Draven that you changed like this? Because I’ve to warn you again, little Rain, that you’re not his type. He wants someone who’s sassy and sophisticated. You’re beautiful, little Rain, but not sassy and sophisticated. He’s intrigued by your loyalty and your innocence, your naivety in relationship, but we both know that, they’re the lasting he needs with his woman.”
Rainie swallowed around the megabyte-sized lump clogging her throat. A raw pain stabbed her heart. It was not because what Jason had told her. It was because the element of truth there, something that she had also thought, only this time her former fiancé had told her the exact words that had played in her minds for millions times. “It might be true.” She said. “But you’re also the very lasting a man I need in my life now.”
His eyes darkened, his charm turn into ugly personality. “You’re lying.”
“I’m not.” Rainie smirked and turned around, picking up her shoes and started to walk again. “There’s no point to talk to you now, Jason. Goodbye…”
“You can’t leave me!” Jason suddenly leapt in front of her. His hand closed around Rainie’s wrist. “You love me!” He stated arrogantly.
Rainie turned to him with her basilisk stare. “You’re so full of yourself. I don’t love you anymore.” She tried to pull her wrist away as if his touch contaminated her but Jason was too powerful for her to fight. “Let go of me, Jason!” She warned her. The brawl had made her shoes falling from he grips.
“Or what, Rain?” He challenged, instead of letting her go, Jason pulled her closer. He then seized her body with his main force of other arm so there was no space between them.
“Let me go Jason, at once!” Rainie started to struggle but still effortless.
“I know you want me as much as want you, Rainie. Don’t deny it.” A voice like Cobra venom hissed at her before he crushed her mouth without warning.
His kiss was wet and rough. Rainie tried to fight but she was powerless competing his strength. His grips tightened around her body whilst his lips probing hers urgently. Rainie closed her eyes, there was nothing she could do but to endure. The reason why she did shut her eyes it wasn’t because she took pleasure in but she detested every single second his lips explored hers and his hands touched her body.
She wanted to cry, but she held her tears back. She did not want to cry in front of Jason. He had caused so much tears and he did not even deserve this one.
Oh…She wished Draven were here to help her.
Just like a pray, the soft voice belonged to Draven called her name. And somehow she had inner strength that made her capable to push Jason.
Rainie wiped away her lips as if she wanted to erased the memory of Jason’s lips on hers and saw there was a smear of blood on the back of her hand. It seemed when Rainie had pushed Jason, she made herself wounded. But it was worth every blood.
“Hi Draven…” Jason’s voice vibrated among their tension. “I didn’t know that you’re here.”
Meanwhile after the relieve feeling subsided, the replacement she felt was terrified. She did not move an inch. She wanted to flee to him for comfort, but she was afraid to see the misunderstanding in Draven’s eyes. She knew she needed to explain, perhaps to apologize though she did not know why.
“Well, I was searching for Rainie, but I didn’t know that both of you’re busy.” Draven’s voice, thought was soft, it was baiting and annihilating.
Slowly, in the careful and expected the worst motion, Rainie turned around. Her heart was pounding as she turned around.
The moonlight on the soft-lapping waves framed him like a halo. She caught her breath, terrifying anew as she looked at his eyes.
And when she did, she found that there was no emotion written there. As if he had seen her like a stranger. As if those passion whispers, those kisses, those hugs had been nothing for him. As if she had meant nothing for him.
“You don’t have to say anything, Rainie.” He made a slight gesture with his hand as he was standing there, though he looked indolence there was edginess emanated from his body. Momentarily he averted his face before he continued. “I understand completely this is where your choice lay.” The dark glittered in his eyes. “I was wrong to think otherwise. It was mistake.”
“Draven.” She pleaded urgently. “This is not…”
A smile parted his lips as his shove his hands back to the pant pockets. It chilled her to the core. “Like I said, you don’t have to explain anything to me.” He grated contemplatively, taking a sharp breath. “You’re right about us. It’s only for the weekend. So I guess since the weekend is almost over we just make it as a closure this evening, alright?”
Rainie stood frozen trying to digest every single word he’d said. They were exactly what she had told him. They were her words, she understood that, yet somehow, it hurt so much to hear them from him.
Draven stepped away. His face was a mask. “I bide both of you a good evening.” His voice when he had told them was brisk, expressionless. Then he walked away, shattering her into thousand fractured broken pieces.
Rainie stood immobilized watching his wide masculine shoulders walking away from her. She felt sickness churned in her stomach. Really she wanted to chase him, begging him to give her a chance to explain but she was grounded to the stone beneath her feet.
She did not know what to explain. Had not it been her wishes after all? She had wanted for the weekend only. She had proven her point about Draven and somehow or rather she had made Jason wanting her back.
She guessed someone quoted had been right, be careful what you wish for.
She looked up to see the sky was clear. Stars were twinkling brilliantly in complete focus. Everything was in super-focus. Just like she now knew about what had happened to her.
A screw-up. No other word to describe about it.
“Rainie…” Jason placed a hand on her cold shoulder.
Rainie was unmoved. She was lost. She lost everything. She was lost in this situation. She lost the battle. She lost Draven.
She lost Draven.
How could be this way? Why the thought of losing him, losing his kisses, his smile, his laughter brought pain in her heart?
“Little Rain?” Jason’s voice echoed in her reverie after a moment of explosive silence. She had never hated to be called like that as she felt right now. The way he called her made her angry suddenly.
She swiftly turned around and yanked his hand away from her shoulder “Don’t ever call me that name again, Jason. I’ve warned you last week. I detest it!”
Jason did not concede defeat instead, he walked towards her another step. There was something very controlled confidence in the way he was approaching her. “We’re good together. You’ve to admit…”
“I don’t have to admit anything.” She pulled away, bending to take her shoes from the sandy beach. “I’ve to go.” She said, as she leveled herself again to him. “Goodbye, Jason, I hope this will be our last conversation talking like this.” She added and started to leave the scene that had made her wounded.
She knew where she had to go now. She needed to talk to Draven.
“Do you love him?”
Rainie immediately halted. She was frozen on the spot. A frisson of tension passed through. Her hand crept to her throat. It wasn’t Jason’s voice that made her stop. It was the question.
Did she love Draven? Did she?
“He’s not your league. You’re pole apart.” Jason told her softly, though there was element of truth it was brutal and crude. As if Jason had made the knife slid in deeper, closer to its target. Her heart.
Jason was telling her the fact and also with another fresh terrifying realization sweeping through her.
She loved Draven Knight.
If she had not been so busy to deny their chemistry, to think their differences, to protect her heart and to consider her heartbroken, she might have realized her feeling long time ago.
And an irony part was, it was Jason that to make her realize her feeling.
Gosh!! Why she had been so blind about her feeling? And why should she do now?
Letting him go without trying?
Rainie looked down and unintentionally she saw the glittering pink diamonds on her wrist. She remembered the conversation when Draven had put the sparkling jewelries on her wrist, on her neck, on her ears. He had told her to give one good reason if she had wanted to give them all back.
Well, she had now. She had a very good reason to give them back to him. She did not deserve those. And though Draven had liked her, it was impossible for him to believe her again. Her fickle mind had created anguish for her and for him.
Besides after the realization, it was impossible for them to be together. They wanted different things.
She wanted forever. She wanted forever with him. And Draven had never told her about being forever or like what Jason had said earlier, Draven might have fancied her, the longest for a month only.
Rainie closed her eyes for a moment. Her fingers clutched her shoes like a lifeline. Did she have to admit to Jason her feeling? And what for? It only hurt her more if she wanted to admit to Jason. The confession though for not meant for Jason it would hurt her deeply as if the knife had plunged into her heart with exquisite intent to hurt her.
She couldn not be able to admit, not to anyone…Not to Jason and not to Draven. She needed to talk to him but without admitting her feeling.
“I don’t have to say anything to you.” Rainie began telling her over her shoulder. “It got nothing to do with you. It’s between me and Draven. You’re my past and I intent to keep it that way. Have a wonderful marriage life with Diera. Treat her well, she deserves that from you. Goodbye, Jason.”
And with her chin lifted up, she walked away from him. Suddenly she felt as if the crushing weight which had been on her shoulders for the past one month, no…Actually since she had the relationship with Jason, gone. It was heady, euphoric and relief.
I’m so stupid, really an idiot, she thought as she walked on since she could not really cut the last ties, which had held her to Jason. Perhaps not letting go completely had all been mixed up with her past.
But she could and she would not allow an immoral, flawed man like Jason to ruin the rest of her life.
Draven might be the next man she had fallen in love with. He perhaps was the antithesis of Jason in every way. However even though if he was not, it was still her choice to hang up on the overdue relation between her and Jason.
And she was glad that it was now, though she still needed to let go one more thing. Something was more important than her past with Jason. But she would not make herself living in the illusion anymore. She lived in reality now. It was better to let Draven go, let go her feeling now than dragging into deeper than it already had. Because in the end that would be hatred that left and she could not ever imagine to hate him. Not Draven. He was her savior for her sanity. She owed him that much to let him go and she would not pledge him to stay with her forever where it was something he could not do.