“Are you okay?”
It was the first time Chloe asked her since the past two weeks when they had returned from the cottage.
Rainie leaned her head on the fluffy pillow powerlessly on the sofa. They were in the living room watching Television. Rainie was staring at the colorful scene without really looking at it. She did not even know what kind of program. In her mind, she had her own drama show.
The show that had ended up in catastrophe.
Draven had kept his promise; he had sent her back to the city, back to her little apartment… safely but broken.
During their journey back to the city, they had barely made any conversation. Only if she had wanted to stop over to get some meals and when she had declined, Draven only had shrugged and continued to drive.
He had not persisted of whatever she had replied as if he had not cared, as if the sweet but a little bit pushy Draven she had known, had never existed.
Perhaps he had never been existed, Rainie just had forgotten about the real Draven since he had been exactly care less about anything.
“Rain? Are you okay?” The voice of Chloe echoed in the living room and woke her up from her reverie.
Rainie blinked and stared at her best friend. “Yes, I’m fine.” She lied.
“That’s nonsense.” Chloe snorted disbelief. “You look sad and gloomy for the past two weeks. What happened? Is it something to do with Draven?”
Rainie changed her sitting position, now both of her feet folded overlapping each other. “What do you want me to say? Is my gloomy face bothering you a lot?” She asked while her fingers playing her crumpled plain pink pajamas unconsciously.
“Of course!” She retorted. “Otherwise I won’t complain, will I?”
Rainie rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m sorry if my face bothers you!”
Chloe sighed. “What’s going on, Rain? What happen between you and Draven?”
“How do you know is because of Draven?” Rainie interrupted immediately.
“I can give you the list of how I know it’s all about Draven.” She replied. “First, your gloomy face started two weeks ago, right after the party in which somehow both of you left very early. And second, Nathan told me that it’s so difficult to contact Draven especially to arrange when we can hang out just like usual. It seems as if he avoids us.”
Rainie shrugged. “So, what do you want me to say?”
“He actually doesn’t avoid us, does he? He avoids you.” Chloe suspected, staring at Rainie with her big eyes.
“Hey!”Rainie protested. “Why is it me always to be blamed?”
Rainie rub her forehead a little bit forcefully. But Chloe was right, it was because of her that the situation among them became awkward. She then heaved heavily before she began to speak. “Yes, I think you’re right.”
Chloe looked at her from where she was sitting across her. Her eyes showed curiosity that she could not fathom. “What happened, Rain?”
Rainie bit her lips, contemplating for one of two seconds of where should she begin, then she decided to start from beginning. “He saw Jason kissing me.”
“He saw you what?” Chloe growled as she was staring at her, utterly aghast.
“He saw me and Jason kissing.” Rainie repeated flatly. “The last night of all us were staying. I was on the beach when Jason came to me and started to kiss me.”
“Are you serious? I mean…” Chloe ran out of words to express what she meant and instead she stood up and collapsed on the sofa next to Rainie.
“I didn’t know that Jason would’ve kissed me and I didn’t know that Draven saw it.” Rainie said dreadfully as she snatched the abstract color of the pillow behind her and held it tight on her chest.
Chloe was looking at her as though as she was going crazy and honestly Rainie could not really blame her the way she was looking at her. Rainie felt that she was going crazy and desperate at the same time.
Chloe blinked, baffled by her confession. “Draven saw you kissing Jason?” Barbie shook her head, her straight jet-black hair swinging outrageously. “What the hell were you thinking? You still want that bastard? What does he have than Draven doesn’t have?”
“I didn’t start kiss!!” Rainie defensively retorted. “He ignited the kiss when I was unaware! What was I supposed to do?!”
“You could have pushed him.” Chloe replied simply then added with a slight of accusation tone in her voice. “You did push him, didn’t you? I hope you did.”
Rainie threw the pillow to the floor upset with her assumption. She then glared at her best friend. “Of course I did!” She snapped. “It was when he saw us!”
Chloe did not say a word. She only looked at Rainie with different kind of expressions. And Rainie hated when she looked at her that way. As if she was the judge of this whole scheme.
As the pregnant of silence getting bigger like a lead balloon, Rainie rolled her eyes impatiently. “Damn it, Chloe! I know what you’re thinking!”
“I didn’t say a word.” Chloe rose up from the sofa and walked to the kitchen table.
“What are you doing?” Rainie gapped as she was looking at her back swaying away from the living room.
Chloe’s pink nightgown was grating softly as she turned her head over the shoulder and spoke to her. “I’ll make us cups of tea, because I know it will be a very long conversation night.”
Rainie heaved heavily, leaning her body weakly. Her shoulders sagged in dejection. It had been two horrible weeks for her. Just like Chloe had stated that Draven had been avoiding them especially her.
It would have been fine, if he had only avoided her, she still could have accepted the fact. Draven had avoided everybody and kept all of their friends in confusion. Prior tonight there had not been any explanation from both sides. And Rainie, actually had been too afraid to give tell them since she was not sure what to say.
Since she had been the one who had ended something…
Something? Was there really something between them?
Had she really ended something that had never started?
Though his anger that night made her confused little bit. When she had explained about Jason, he had seemed to understand, yet when she had wanted to finish, he had been furiously cold towards her.
Had he felt something towards her somehow? And she had been too late to realize?
Just like she had been too late, and admitting that started to kill her bit by bit since this feeling grew stronger. It grew stronger than any feeling she had ever had even she had been with Jason.
The feeling that something kinda love, to be exact. Had she not admitted it two weeks ago, actually to herself? Though the new-found of her feeling towards her, had made her scare to death inevitably. She preferred to ignore to deny the fact of her feeling by keep telling herself that it had not been love, or what had happened between the two of them had meant nothing. Or she had searched his flaws by judging him to act like pervert and rude or cold towards her.
Yet sadly, none of those denial or thoughts prevailed her feeling. It kept returning to the fact that she loved him. Period.
“What’s in your mind?” Suddenly Chloe intruded her thoughts.
Rainie looked up from where she sat and saw her best friend had returned, carrying a tray with two big plain-mugs where the smoke came from there as if to get noticed that they were hot brew. And as Chloe then brought down the tray onto the coffee table, Rainie also saw a big yellow plate containing chocolate biscuits filling the space in between the mugs.
“I need something to chew.” Chloe grinned as she got the questioning look from Rainie when she saw the biscuits. “I told you it’s gonna be a long night and I could be starving.” She said taking a seat next to Rainie.
Despite her glumly mood, Rainie could not help but to smile. “Why don’t you just cook some noodle then.”
“Hmmm…” Chloe sighed dramatically, the tip of her fingers tapped on her lips, acting as if she was considering something important. “Perhaps I would, but later on.” She said taking the biscuit. “Now, stomach isn’t the most important part of my body but my ear. I’m ready to listen.”
“Whatever you say.”
“So, tell me the detail.” She took a bite of the biscuit and made some messy crumbs on her clothes.
“Well,” Rainie started, picking up her mug and cradled it carefully. “I told you I was walking alone on the beach when from nowhere Jason appeared and started to talk to me.”
“What did he want?”
Rainie shrugged taking a deep sigh. “First he said something that he wanted to be with me again.”
“That bastard!” Chloe swore harshly she then put the last fragment of biscuit into her mouth and chewed it quickly. “He is such a morally loser!” She spat vividly.
Rainie could not deny the fact. Jason was indeed such a loser but she could not just say anything to agree what her best friend had said. Because what she felt was already beyond words. “Tell me something I don’t know.” Rainie reared up at the truth.
“Is there something you know but you chose to ignore it or…”
“I said I know that, you don’t have to point out the mistake I made.” Rainie snapped, rubbing at her eyes, which had not recovered from the marathon of lacking of sleep. “I screw up, I admit it but I don’t need another conscience to tell me what I’ve done wrong.”
“So you know actually what you’ve done wrong.” Chloe said dryly. “The problem is you make the confession to the wrong person.”
“I’m not trying to make any confession here!” Rainie replied vehemently.
“Oh yes of course.” Chloe gave a school-marm nod. “You only want to make yourself feeling better, less guilty.”
“What?!” Rainie jerked bolt upright so fast that she almost spilled the hot coffee. “I don’t feel guilty…”
“Well then, why you’re acting like this?”
“Acting like what?” She asked appallingly. Really, so much for friendship. She had not received no sympathy attitude so far.
“You’re lost, Rain. You look lost.”
“I’m not lost.” Rainie woodenly replied placing back her mug without even drinking her coffee. Okay, she was a totally big fat liar.
A silly big fat liar to be exact, since the way Chloe looked at her, she knew that what a terrible liar she was after all.
“Hmmm.” Chloe took and bit another biscuit with enough force she reduced it to spraying fragments. “Why are you keep denying that, Rain? I mean, seriously it’s not about Jason, after all, isn’t it? It’s because Draven. You like him don’t you? And please don’t deny it.”
Rainie stared at her best friend for a moment. The reason she revealed what had happened two weeks ago was because this situation had already been out of control. Her feeling had been like the bubbly champagne inside the shaken bottle, it kept pushing to its cork. And further more she needed someone to talk to and Chloe of course fitted the bill. Or at least she thought so before.
“I’m not going to deny it…”
“So you really like him right?” Chloe immediately asked her as she reached Rainie’s hand and slightly gripped her wrist. “You do like him?” she reiterated, way too eagerly.
“I’m not going to admit it also.” Rainie rolled her eyes, pulled away her hand from her grip.
“Ahh…” Chloe gave a squeak. “Come on, Rain… give me a favor, will you? You like Draven, why don’t you just admit it.”
Rainie took her mug again. “Why are you so cheerful so sudden?” She sipped her coffee carefully but her eyes narrowing suspiciously on her best friend’s face.
Chloe heaved deeply then she stared at her thoroughly as if she was contemplating to tell Rainie’s the truth or not.
“Chloe?” Rainie frowned. “What on earth are you thinking…”
“I just want to know how you feel about Draven.” Chloe cut in swiftly. “I mean he’s been nice to you, don’t you have a bit of feeling about him?”
“Why?” Rainie asked impulsively, placing her drink down back to the table. “Why you keep asking me if I like him or not? There’s something on your sleeve, isn’t it? From the first time you asked me to go out with him on Jason’s engagement party there…”
“Oh shut up, Rain!” Chloe snapped angrily. “Don’t be too dramatic, please!”
“I’m not being dramatic here!” Rainie counterattacked. Her face was rigid and tight. “I seriously think that you have something in mind, don’t you?”
“If you think that I’m trapping you into a bad thing, you’re wrong.” Defensively, Chloe replied.
“I don’t think I accuse you whether it’s wrong or not.” Rainie turn on her heel, she started pacing back and forth in front of best friend. “I just asked you that…”
“Yeah right.” A slanted smile formed on Chloe’s lips. “Instead you asked my motive is, why don’t you just concentrate on your feeling? Because let me tell you something Rain, you’re such a whiny woman.”
“I don’t know who the hell that turns you to be like this but I don’t like who you are right now.”
“I don’t change!” Rainie protested heatedly. Her hands spread widely as she listened to the accusation.
Chloe gazed up at Rainie’s taut and pale face. She inhaled and exhaled her breath deeply as if she wanted to calm herself down. “Listen to me here, Rain… you deserve someone better. I want you to be happy and honestly you were happy when you were with Draven. I don’t have any bad intention towards you and so the rest of us.”
Rainie shook her head disbelief but she did not say anything.
Chloe rose from the sofa and walked straight to her. “You know why Whitney told you about his past?”
Rainie frowned questioningly. “What’s got to do me?” She asked apprehensively. “And how do you know about it? Did Whitney tell you?”
“Of course she told me.” Chloe answered as-matter-of-fact. “She told you yesterday and felt regret perhaps it was because what she’s said to you that made Draven and you were angry at each other.”
“It wasn’t about that.” Rainie said. Her throat felt dry and scratchy. “It wasn’t about his past that made us like this.”
“Yes I know that now.” Chloe retorted gently. “It was because of Jason.”
For all the statements Chloe had said, this was the first time she was wrong. It was not because of Jason. Perhaps it had been the first time but not anymore.
Rainie ran her fingers through her hair frustrated trying hard not to tell Chloe that it was because of her and not Jason who had made Draven angry. She preferred to tell her best friend a scheme of lie. “Look of course I know that he’s angry like this but he had no reason at all. And I really don’t know what’s going on in his mind.”
“No reason?” Chloe reiterated, she was staring at her incredulously as if Rainie suddenly had been some kind of retarded woman. “Are you that stupid, Rain? Or you chose to act like an idiot?”
Rainie frowned at the words Chloe chose for her. “Excuse me? You think I’m an idiot?”
“Yes, for acting like this.” She said dryly and returned to the sofa again.
Rainie glared in horror and followed Chloe with her eyes. “Hey, I don’t accept you call me an idiot!” Rainie protested and paused to draw a breath. “Especially without reason at all. I was the one who asked you why you’re so persistent about me and Draven.”
“Geez, Rain,” Chloe shook her head, aggravated, staring at Rainie who had started to pace from side to side again. “You really are that blind, aren’t you? Or it is actually still about Jason? You were so into getting him back to you, you ignore the fact that there is a guy who really cares for you.”
“Cares?” Rainie frowned and resumed pacing. “I know that Draven cares for me. He told me that.”
“Did he?” Chloe looked impressed. “Then what the hell are you waiting for? You know that you’ve done nothing to fix this situation.” She added extremely sharp tone. “If I were you, instead of whining of what happened or what would happen or even questioning what’s on his mind, you should have done something.”
“What do you want me to do?” Rainie, paused looked at her best friend with a livewire spark in her eyes.
“Go see him.” Chloe said practically. “You can go to his apartment, you’ve been there, right? Talk to him.”
Oh, that’s the last thing I could do…
Rainie shook her head before she replied capitulated to give her another excuse. “What if he doesn’t want to see me…”
“Listen to me for once, please.” Chloe cut in piercingly as she stood up again impatiently. “You’re so pessimistic, you know that? Draven isn’t that kind of person. You can’t compare him with Jason. I bet for my last breath that he just wanted you to come to him this time.” Chloe moved a step towards her, “Remember Rain, he’s been the one who came to you either for rescuing your pride sake or just simply asking you to have dinner. What don’t you take a turn?”
“I’m not finish yet.” Chloe wagged her finger at Rainie in a way which was reminiscent of one of her foster parents had done in the past. “Rain, a man who cares about his woman, won’t do such a thing. He wouldn’t ignore her. He would fight for her no matter what. Sometimes being away like Draven does right now, it’s to give you time to think what you want. It doesn’t mean he would give up on you.”
“Chloe, you know the situation isn’t like that.” Rainie replied resignedly. “We had nothing to begin with? And plus he is what he is. We come from complete different world. He comes from the Knight’s family.” She gestured vaguely, encompassing the power and the privilege that was viable part of the name. “And I’m… barely invisible woman.”
“Don’t be insane, Rain. If there was nothing to begin with, so what the heck was that when you went out with him for the first time? When both of you kissed?”
“I’m sure it didn’t mean anything to him.” Rainie denied. “As it was just simply sex, pure sexual attraction between us.”
Chloe sighed, placing both of her hands on Rainie’s shoulders. “Rain, you and I know that it’s only because you’re in your denial state. It was more than sex for you and for him also.” She then released Rainie’s shoulders but still stayed in the same spot and stared at her as if she had to contemplate about something important. “You and I both know that he cares for you, he told you and perhaps he told you something more but… There’s something he mightn’t not say it to you, because he’s afraid that you’re not ready. And he would kill me if I tell you but I can’t stand it anymore.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Her eyes misted in confusion emotion that were colliding into each other.
“Let me rephrase the word care that he used before, okay.” She paused and took a deep breath before she began again gently. “Rain, he has feeling for you.”
“Fee… feeling for me?” Rainie repeated, her voice squeaking on the words, as if she had make a joke and she had not quite caught the punchline.
“Yes, silly girl.” Chloe nodded steadily and pretty much firm. “Draven is in love with you.”