Mouth agape, the only sound I could hear was my heart pounding away against my chest. Brian was having an affair with Sarah.
“I’m not sure how long they’ve been sleeping together but I’d say it’s been awhile now” Alec said continuing to keep his distance.
No words would come forth. I was utterly speechless. The trust I thought I could share with him was gone, ruined. He was supposed to be my friend, I told him about everything.
Then something clicked, that’s how Sarah knew about me and Alec. Brian was feeding her information. That couldn’t be right...we hadn’t started to hang out together until after Alec walked away the first time.
“This is so messed up” I whispered, more so to myself than to him.
We all fell so far after high school.
“Can I come into your zone now?” He asked.
I let out a short laugh before burying my face into my hands.
A pair of strong arms came around me pulling me into a hard muscled body. The deep masculine smell that was Alec calmed me down and had me wanting to roll across him like a cat on cat nip.
“Alec what does this mean?” My voice was muffled by my hands but I was hoping he’d heard me.
“It means Brian isn’t the boy next door like everyone thinks he is” I could tell by the way he said his name that Brian would do well to steer clear of Alec for awhile. And myself.
“No I mean with you and Sarah and you and...me”
Please please please don’t drag me along anymore, don’t let Brian be right.
“My lawyer saw her cheating, that breaks the contract” he said smiling still avoiding my real inquiry.
Tears filled my eyes and I tried so hard to keep them at bay. Don’t fall. Don’t fall.
“Cass! I’m sorry... no no no don’t cry. I’m sorry cass. I was trying to build the suspense! We’re in the clear we can be together no more hiding, your all mine and I’m all yours”
I smacked him on the chest earning a small grunt, “don’t ever do that to me again!” I said sniffling. What a jerk.
He threw his hands up in surrender.
Then a sudden thought occurred.
“What about your parents? And the money? Won’t they take it back?!”
“No, they can’t. The money is theirs. It’s all in the contract that Sarah broke when she spread her legs” he said planting a soft kiss on the side of my head.
I heaved a big sigh of relief.
Three wondrous days passed all to quickly. Alec and I enjoyed the time spent together, no drama, no interruptions and even though I had to go into work. Alec stayed at the house and waited for me to get home. Brian didn’t come into work those three days and Sarah didn’t show up at the house.
My parents called me and they were still expecting me over for our normal weekend dinner. Everyone was supposed to be there. Alec suggested telling them while we’re there but that would mean all the families would know and be there to yell at us I tried my hardest not to think about what my parents would say about the entire situation, especially the part where I lied to everyone and kept the pregnancy from them.
" Cassandra Joy”
My head snapped up, and I met they eyes of my nurse. I smiled shyly and stood up from my seat in the waiting room. The burning stares of the other patients bored into my back as Alec took my hand and guided me towards the nurse, who smiled kindly at both of us.
“Good afternoon, we’ll be in room two” she said, nodding her head towards the second door as she let us past her into a small hallway. The walls were a calming shade of light blue and my tennis shoes squeaked across the freshly polished white floor.
Alec guided us into the room and we both took a seat in the only two chairs in the small room. A small bulliten board was filled with pictures, various babies and their parents, some of them even had the doctor in them. They all looked happy, they didn’t look as stressed or as afraid as I was.
A small cabinet on the far wall closest to the examing table, displayed a 3D image of a womans uterus and examples of insertable birth controls. Alec didn’t seem fazed by any of it. I felt quite proud of him.
“My name is Brittany” My head jerked around and I blushed as I realized I had zoned out for a moment.
“Hello” Alec and I both said in unison.
“First thing, we have to get a urine specimen. so if you come with me for a moment” she glanced from me to Alec, “She will be right back” he smiled kindly at her and pulled out his phone instantly distracted.
I followed her down the small hallway to a small bathroom door, “Here, take this” she said handing me a small clear cup with a lid, “You won’t need to catch the entire amount but just enough that we can do a few tests” she pulled out a small plastic wrapped square envelope and held it out to me, and I blindly took it. “You’ll need to wipe front to back with this, pee a little into the toilet before catching any into the cup ok?”
Sure easy for her to say.
I simply nodded and closed the door.
“oh and leave the cup on the counter, i’ll grab it once your done” I didn’t say anything and I didn’t start to do my business until I heard her walk away.
I opened the door and walked out, catching the eye of my nurse. I walked back into room two and took a seat next to Alec. He looked up from his phone and chuckled at my expression.
“Tough time?” he asked.
“You’re so lucky you’re a guy” I sighed slumping into the seat.
Brittany walked back in, her blonde hair swayed across her back and her brown eyes were light and happy as she took a seat in the doctors rolling stool. a manila folder was tucked into her arm.
“So I have some personal questions for you, and its up to you if you’d like your partner to stay in the room with us as you answer” she said placing the folder onto the cabinet and opening it.
I looked at Alec who arched an eyebrow at me. I had nothing to hide. for once.
“It’s fine” I said.
The questions were simple and tedious.
Have I ever smoked? no
Have I ever consumed alchol? yes
When was my last drink? Maybe a week ago.
Any mental illness on either sides of the family? Not that either of us are aware of.
How many sexual partners have I had this past year? One.
I was certain Alec puffed out his chest at that one. After the questionnaire I was weighed and she measured my height. I was getting tired, the feeling of exhaustion was quickly taking over. The happiness that I had been feeling with Alec earlier was slowly leaking away.
“Ok if you both will follow me” Brittany stood up, grabbed the manial folder and proceeded to open the door.
“what for? will this take much longer? She’s tired and this has been quite a long process” he snapped. Heat rose to my cheeks and I felt uneasy. He was going to get us kicked out of here.
But it didn’t seem to faze the nurse, she smiled politely, looking between us, “I’m going to take you to the ultra sound room so that you can see your baby”
A sudden lightness over took me, my stomach filled with butterflies. I hopped up from my seat and took a hold of Alecs hand.
“I’m sorry” he said apologizing to the nurse.
“it’s fine, it’s actually rather common. I know the first visit seems to drag. They won’t all be like this I promise.” she said leading us out of the small room and back down the hallway into another small room. Two machines sat next to an examing table, three metal chairs lined the far wall. The room itself was painted a light grey, but with only one overhead light lit, the room was dark and the monitors on the two machines filled the darkness with small mixtures of light.
“Here” Brittany held out a folded green fabric, “You’ll need to change into this, nothing underneath the gown please. Dr. Rolands will be in shortly to do the transvaginal ultra sound” she smiled politely before closing the door behind her, leaving Alec and I standing there.
“I hope transvaginal isn’t what it sounds like” I said breaking the silence as I quickly undressed and slid the gown on. Alec bent down and picked up my disgarded clothes, he folded them and placed them on one of the chairs.
Letting out a small laugh he tugged me closer placing a swift kiss on my lips, I instantly melted. “Your mind is in the right place” he said.
Groaning I pulled away and sat on the examing table tucking the gown into the sides of my thighs. even with the gown I felt completely naked and vulnerable. I wasn’t cold though, I was overally warm, and starting to sweat.
“Nervous?” he asked taking a place beside me.
There were three knocks on the door before it swung open and Dr. Rolands walked in. She was a tall middle aged woman, her fading chestnut brown hair was thrown up into a tight updo and her blue eyes were soft and friendly.
“Good afternoon” she said smiling widely at both of us. “I’m doctor Rolands and you must be Cassandra”
I smiled back instantly feeling better, “Yes”
“And you are?” she said smiling at Alec.
“The father” he said squeezing my hand.
“Oh good!” she opened a manila folder I hadn’t noticed she’d been holding and her eyes scanned down the page before closing it, “Wonderful. Your weight is good and it doesn’t appear you’ve had any swelling in your arms, legs, hands or feet. later on if that happens, let me know. You can become quite uncomfortable. Anyways lets get started, so today we’ll be doing a transvaginal ultersound. Do you know what that means?” she asked politely. I nodded, “good, lay down please and i’ll need you to put your feet into the sturrups” she said, the table made a loud noise and I watched wide eyed as she pulled the sturrups out from within the table.
placing my feet in the stirrups I took a few deep breaths in and out and tried to prepare myself. The process was slightly uncomfortable and she waved the wand around like she was digging for something. I cringed every now and then as she checked levels of specific fluids.
“Ok are you ready to see your baby?” she asked. I looked up into the small monitor and I could sense Alec watching it intently. “There”
The image was grainy but a small peanut shaped image was clear as day and within the peant was a very tiny outline of our baby.
I was crying, I didn’t even know why. tears were pouring down my face. My heart swelled and my stomach tightened. It was so tiny and wasn’t fully formed but it was there and growing.
I loved my baby already.