Dr. Rolands had performed a dilation and extraction, a suction of the uterus to remove fetal or placental tissue. She informed Alec and I that it was a baby girl.
I had called my mother and father and told them the news. We all cried together. Even though me and my mother have had our differences, they were put aside for the loss of my daughter and her grand daughter.
For almost two weeks, I watched the toll the loss had taken on Alec and he in turn had watched the toll the loss had taken on me. We were miserable and completely depressed.
We mourned our daughter and we buried her in the children's cemetery.
I sighed and stared blankly at my bedroom wall. My comforter was wrapped tightly around me and it had been almost a day since I'd moved, not counting bathroom breaks. Each day I was sinking further into the darkness and I couldn't escape.
There was a few sharp knocks at the front door but I still didn't move.
I listened to Alec move about the kitchen before walking into the living room to the front door to answer it. There were mumbles before he walked back into my room.
He looked drained, "Brian is at the door"
Brian had been coming over almost every day since the still birth of the baby. Even though he wasn't my biggest fan, I knew he wanted to comfort me. I didn't want it. I refused to see him.
I simply shook my head and buried myself further into the covers.
A muscle in Alec's jaw ticked before he stormed from the room. He slammed the door with such a force before stomping back into the room.
"Let's go" He said before striding to the closet and pulling out my suitcase.
I blinked and watched him quietly.
"Get up. Get dressed. Get showered. We're leaving" he said throwing clothes into suitcase.
"Going where?" I asked quietly. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to do anything anymore.
He strode out of the room for a few moments before coming back in, he tossed both of our passports on the end of the bed before continuing to pack. Slowly I sat up.
My body aches from lack of movement. I felt disgusting. I was a wreck.
"Cassandra, go take a shower. Get dressed. When you're done, we're leaving"
I was growing more agitated. Why couldn't he understand that I didn't want to leave! He could go where ever he wanted to, he could leave me here to rot, it's the least I deserved. I opened my mouth to reply but snapped it shut as he sent me a withering glare.
"Shower. Now" he snapped before grabbing a spare suit case and packing the little amount of clothes he had here.
I huffed but slid out of bed slowly. I made it to the bathroom and peeled off the clothes I had been wearing for far to long.
The shower didn't calm me like it once had.
I glanced down and could once again see my feet. I hated that. My belly was gone.
Suddenly I was crying again. My shoulders wracked with sobs.
"Cas, lets go" Alec helped me from the shower. He was being very attentive and helpful as he helped me get dressed.
I still had no idea where we were going as we left the house. The car ride was completely silent and filled with tension. The sun was setting, another day was passing.
I was slightly suprised as we pulled up to a private air strip. I gave Alec a questionable look.
"My boss is gifting us his private jet for a bit. He understands what we're going through" he explained.
I was being herded around until we boarded the jet and was seated in a smooth black leather seat. The jet was very well taken care of, Alec's boss has good taste.
After talking to the captain, Alec came and sat next to me. His kissed my lips and held my hand and I wish I could say it helped.
It didn't. He was trying so hard to make this easier and better for me. As the jet took off Alec fell asleep and I simply watched as we flew over Large masses of land before it turned into the ocean.
I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep until my shoulder was given a slight shake.
"Cas, we're here"
My eyes fluttered before letting out a groan and shifting in my seat. Sun was filtering through the small jets windows. We were at another air strip, but where exactly I couldn't say.
I stood up and Alec ushered me out of the jet, the captain gave me a smile before disappearing back into his cabin.
"Alec where are we?" I asked as we stepped out into the daylight. The smell of the ocean was strong, palm trees were circling the small strip, the place looked deserted.
Alec ran a hand through his hair and he smiled, a real true smile. Something I hadn't seen in weeks. It looked good on him. "This is a private island. My boss lent it to me as well. There's a small house near the water, there's a maid who gets here by boat once a day in the afternoons. She'll bring whatever we need, food, supplies, anything." He took a deep breath in and let it out. I followed suit. "This is for us Cas. We will never be able to forget her or what happened and to be honest we never should. She was our daughter but the pain will lessen and we need to continue forward. We need this to get better. We were miserable there and we couldn't continue going about our life in that environment"
I wondered if this getaway would actually help.
"This is our escape Cassandra"
I nodded and followed him to the car waiting nearby.
The house was small but very nice. Just like everything else his boss owned, the place was updated and very well maintained. The walls were painted a light bright yellow. There were more windows than anything else. The decor was completely island life.
The front porch overlooked the ocean, the back was completely surround by trees and island life.
"Do you like it?" Alec asked coming up behind me and wrapping me in his arms.
"Yes, very much so" I replied honestly.
"Good. So do you want to go check out the beach? Your swim suit is in your bag, I brought both of them for you because I wasn't sure which one you would want"
My heart thumped wildly in my chest. This man was going above and beyond. Even though he had dealt with the same loss, he had continued to take care of me and I had slacked on reciprocating.
He stared at me with a questionable look on his face, "What?" He asked hesitantly.
I gave him a shy smile, it felt odd "Thank you Alec for doing all of this. I don't know what I would do without you. You've been more than amazing and I know I haven't taken care of you the way I should have been -"
Alec rushed forward and cupped my face in his hands and cut me off "Don't. Please, don't. You still being here with me is enough. You may have shut yourself off from the rest of the world but you continued to let me in and for that I'm grateful."
His lips met mine and I felt a tad better.
I changed into a light blue bikini and waited as Alec changed into his black swim trunks before we exited the house and slipped onto the beach.
We walked along the beach, the sun felt good, my body was soaking up the vitamin D as it hadn't gotten any in forever. The sand was hot between my toes and the water was cool.
Things would change whenever we decided to go back. I would have to suck it up and continue forward. Like Alec said, we couldn't and shouldn't forget her but we could move forward.
There was still a darkness, my guilt was still eating at me but it was only day one. Only time would tell if this escape would actually work.