Everything I'm Not (GirlxGirl)

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Do You


“Dee’s not here yet?” I ask Gray as I step inside their office.

“You don’t see her anywhere, do you?” Gray retorts without looking away from the computer she was working on. I almost roll my eyes. Guess we’re back to the daily bantering.

Gray invited Dee and I in here to interview us about the championship game. Dee reminded me earlier this morning to make sure I don’t forget, and now she’s the one who shows up late.

For the two weeks I hadn’t stepped in here, nothing much has changed except for the monobloc chairs that were now replaced with blue office chairs. And the smell. The room doesn’t smell like freshly brewed coffee, which makes sense because it’s lunchtime. Although I know for a fact that Gray drinks her coffee any time of the day.

Gray is wearing a turtleneck long-sleeved sweater that may or may not be hiding a hickey underneath. The last time I saw her wearing one was after Janelle left a hickey on her, so the chances of the former are high. I walk towards her to take a peek on what she was doing. “Those are the pictures from our game.”

“I’m looking for a photo for the school paper,” Gray explains.

I grin. “Let me see.” I grab the nearest chair and sit beside her. I restrained myself from sniffing her green apple scent that was making my senses go numb. As she was scrolling through the pictures, I saw a picture of me with my back to the camera. It was the one taken just before the game. “That looks nice.” I make a mental note to ask for a copy of everything later.

Gray nods. “It does.”

“Where did you learn to take good pictures?” I ask her.

I’ve been following Gray’s Instagram account since freshman year. She’s an exceptional photographer. Her over ten-thousand followers are proof of that. And no, it’s not just because she’s pretty. She barely even posts pictures of herself.

“Jimmy’s twin taught me,” is all she says and doesn’t elaborate more. She’s Gray, after all.

A couple more photos and I see a picture of me kissing Diane’s forehead. My impulse reaction was, What the fuck?, but as I looked closer, I saw that it was a pretty good shot. I was holding the back of Diane’s head, my lips pressed on her forehead. Our eyes closed. It looked so pure.

“You never fail to make me wonder how you and your ex could be like that after everything that happened between you two.” Gray muses.

I try to suppress a smile. “Are you jealous?”

Gray looks at me with an indifferent expression on her face. “Do I look jealous?”

“It was a joke,” I rest my arm on the back of her chair. “And I could ask you the same question. The last time I saw you two together, you had a hickey on your neck.”

“It’s none of your business,” Gray snaps.

“Actually, it’s kind of my business now,” I say, hinting her about our little kiss. We never really talked about it and she can’t just act as if it never happened. “You kissed me, Gray.”


"So? It’s kind of a big deal for me.”

Honestly, I don’t remember anything that happened that night after I drank seven shots of tequila except for the kiss. Alexis Gray kissing me is not something I’d ever forget. I could have made out with a couple of girls or stripped naked or smoked weed (none of these happened) and the only thing I’ll remember would be kissing her.

Gray pecks me on the lips. “See? It’s not a big—”

She doesn’t finish her sentence. I grab her face and pull her lips back into mine. I kiss her passionately as I should’ve done the first time. She tries to break away, pushing me away. As a response, I deepen the kiss and eventually, Gray gives in.

Her green apple scent fills my senses and suddenly I want more of her. I grab her waist and pull her closer to me. Her hand cups my face gently. I can tell she wants this just as much as I want it. My hand tangles with her long black hair and I give it a slight tug.

“Alex,” she moans and my chest tightens at the sound of my name. Realizing what she had done, she pushes me away, breathing hard, her cheeks flushed, and her cat eyes as big as the moon.

I manage to grab onto her chair to prevent myself from falling over. “Now you tell me that’s nothing.” I dare her.

She wipes her lips with the back of her hand. “I hate you.” She growls.

“No, you don’t,” I smirk, irritating her even more.

“If you ever, ever kiss me again I will—“

“Kiss me back?” I chuckle. “Sure.”

A soft knock comes from the door and we both freeze. I jump five feet away from Gray, stumbling with the chair in the process, just as Diane steps inside. “Hey,” she greets. “Sorry, I’m late.” She stops. Squints her eyes at me. Looks at Gray then back to me. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No.” Gray and I answer at the same time, which only made us look guiltier.

Gray clears her throat and stands up. “Please, take a seat.” She gestures to the chairs. “Let’s proceed with the interview.”

“Are you guys dating?” Diane asks as we were on our way back to our respective classrooms.


“Are you sure?” She insists. “Because I could’ve sworn I just walked in on you two after making out.”

I snorted but didn’t say anything.

“I saw her with someone else yesterday,” Diane says. “A hot brunette.”

I try to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Where?” I ask, even though I already have an idea who she was referring to.

“In a sexy Lambo. Making out.”


I know it’s stupid of me to assume that Gray ended whatever was between her and Janelle when she kissed me, but yeah, sue me. I really had my hopes up. Now it’s even higher because she kissed me back. If she doesn’t feel anything for me, she wouldn’t have kissed me like that.

“Look, babe,” Diane starts. “I know who you date is none of my business, but please make sure that person won’t break your heart like I did.” She tells me before entering her classroom.

Lucky for me, the teacher in our next class is absent, giving me the chance to update Kris on what happened in the past thirty minutes.

“You guys kissed,” Kris repeats.

I nod.

“In her office.”


“Holy shit, that’s hot.” Kris covers her mouth with a hand. “I’ve always wanted to do it in an office.”

“We did not have sex, Kris,” I tell her.

“But you want to.”

I snort. “You know I don’t crave for sex.” It’s true. Kisses? Yes. A lot. But sex? I’ll abstain. Although if it’s Gray... I shake my head. No. I don’t even want to think about it.

“Honestly, I don’t know how you do it,” Kris says. “You’re surrounded by all these beautiful people—not just normal beautiful. I’m talking about Victoria’s Secret Model beautiful—including me, of course—and you don’t even want to sleep with them? If that’s not weird, I don’t know what is.”

“First of all, the thought of sleeping with anyone other than my girlfriend never crossed my mind.”

“You’re single.” She reminds me.

“Exactly my point.”

Kris waves a dismissive hand. “I also remember you telling me you don’t kiss people who aren’t your girlfriend.”

“I don’t.”

“Really? Because I remember you telling me you almost had sex with Georgia in her house. And five minutes ago you were telling me about your make-out session with Alexis Gray in the editorial office. So, remind me,” Kris raises an eyebrow at me. “Which one of them is your girlfriend?”

I run a hand through my hair. “It’s complicated.”

“Cut off on the girls, will you? And speaking of Georgia, I like her. She seems genuinely interested in you. You should’ve seen her face when she saw you kiss Diane,” Kris laughs. “It was hilarious. You sure you two aren’t dating? I’m seeing her face around a lot.”

I flinch, remembering that Kris doesn’t know the reason why Georgia keeps on lingering around me. “Well, stuff happened.”

Kris narrows her eyes at me. “What stuff?”

Georgia’s like a more cunning version of Kris. If I hadn’t made out with her before getting to know her better, we would’ve been great friends.

When I stopped her that night, we made a deal—according to her, at least. I don’t remember shit from that night. She told me I agreed to be her plus one in a charity event which is happening tomorrow.

Up until now, she’s been taking me to luxurious couture shops and we’ve looking for a dress that fits me. I kept on rejecting every single one because first, they were too expensive. Who buys a 5-thousand dollar dress for a single event? Georgia told me not to worry because she’ll handle the expenses, but I politely declined. My mom taught me not to order expensive food when someone else is paying.

Second, I don’t wear dresses.

Third, I look much better in a tux, so that’s what we decided. When I asked Georgia if it was okay, she said yes, and that it would be better if I wear a tux. I took note that she said it with an unnervingly sly smile.

“We’re attending a charity event and I’m going as her date,” I tell Kris.

Kris’ eyes were practically bulging out. “What? Why didn’t you tell me? Do you have anything to wear?”

“Yes, I’ll be wearing a tux.”

“Damn, girl. That’s hot. I bet you two will look amazing together.” Kris smirks. “Why don’t you try dating her? She likes you. And whether you admit it or not, I know you like her, too.”

“What makes you say that?”

She shrugs. “You wouldn’t have kissed her if you didn’t.”

“I was drunk.” A lame excuse.

“I’ve seen you drunk a thousand times and you rejected every single girl who came on to you during those times.” Kris counters.

“Those times, I was either still with Diane or you were there to stop me from doing something stupid,” I rebut.

Kris rolls her eyes. “Whatever,” she says, an indication that she’s tired of arguing with me.

I stand up from Kian’s seat and make my way back to my seat to apologize to my seatmate. It just doesn't feel right to kiss her like that, even though she's the one who kissed me first. “I’m sorry for forcing myself on you.”

Gray gives me a sideways glance from the book she’s reading. “You didn’t.”

“Why did you kiss me that night, Gray?”

She scrunches up her eyebrows. “I already told you the answer to that.”

“Huh? When?” I rack my brain trying to remember when she told me but came up empty. “Sorry, I don’t really remember.”

A look crosses her face. Is that disappointment? “Nevermind, then.”

A feeling of uneasiness crawls in my stomach. What else had I forgotten that night? Kris wasn’t there when it happened, leaving me with no other person to ask except for Gray who obviously wouldn’t talk. I feel like I’m forgetting something important other than the kiss—something that triggered it. “What else happened that night?”

“Nothing. I brought you home.” Gray narrows her eyes at me. "Do you not remember anything?"

I shake my head. "Blank. Except for the kiss."

"So you don't remember anything you said? Before and after?"

I feel my body tense. "I said something?"

Gray hesitates. Her eyes search mine. "You don't remember?" She whispers.

"Remember what?"

She lets out a sigh. "I should've known."

"What did I tell you, Gray?" I ask, my tone urgent.

"Nothing important. It's better if you forget it." Gray says, her voice turning cold.

"No, tell me."

"I said forget it." She snaps. What's with her sudden attitude?

"Why are you getting mad? I'm just asking."

She returns her gaze on the book she's holding. “I hate you.”

I run a hand through my hair and squeeze it tightly. I fucked up again, didn't I?

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