Everything I'm Not (GirlxGirl)

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I enter the classroom and my eyes automatically lock onto the figure sitting on the desk of her chair. Today, she’s wearing a navy blue sweater over a collared shirt and light-colored tapered shorts. Yum. Alex’s thigh is spread over the desk while her other leg is flat on the ground for support.

Her back pocket bulges from where her wallet is tucked inside it. One of the advantages of wearing men’s clothes—deep pockets. And though Alex has that advantage, she also has the disadvantage of being too immersed in what she’s doing that she loses awareness of her immediate surroundings. Which is why when Jan handed—or threw, rather—her wallet back to her, it didn’t surprise me one bit. No, Jan didn’t do anything to it. I made Alex check it just before she went home that night. I’d like to think I know Jan well enough to know she won’t do something like tamper with someone else’s belongings, but it didn’t hurt to check.

“Bullshit,” I hear Kristina say as I get near her and Alex. “Judging from the way you’re eye-fucking her ninety-nine percent of the time, I’d say you’ve had sex at least fourteen times. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.” She shrugs.

Ah. Nothing beats talking about our non-existent sex life at 8 in the morning.

I drop my bag on my chair before slipping a hand on Alex’s waist. “It’s actually fifteen.”

Alex’s eyes widen. “Baby!” She was about to say something else, but as she looks at me, her mouth remains open as her eyes travel the length of my body appreciatively. She visibly swallows. “Damn.”

“Aaaand that’s sixteen,” Kris mutters.

I’m wearing a loose white blouse with a low neckline and a black tube inside, the front of the blouse tucked in denim jeans. Alex lightly touches the waterfall braid I did on my hair. “I like this.” She kisses the top of my head, careful not to ruin the braid.

“You guys are so cute please stay away from me and my single ass.”

“You’re sitting on my chair.” Alex drapes an arm over my shoulder.

Kristina rolls her eyes but doesn’t stand up. “You guys done with that documentary on English?”

“Finished it like a month ago.” Alex gives Kristina a smug smile.

“Great. You can help with ours, then.” Kristina begins to stand up without warning Alex, but the chair remains firm on the ground thanks to the support of Alex’s long legs. “And we need to start working on that damn poster for arts.”

Alex stands up as well. “What poster?”

Kristina blows out a breath. “I swear you have the memory of a fucking goldfish.” She runs a hand down her face and turns to me. “If she forgets your anniversary, come to me and I’ll help you flog her.”

“I do not!” Alex protests then turns to me. “I won’t.”

“Well, scroll through your messages and confirm for me. I sent all the details to you. You even replied.”

Alex brings out her phone and scrolls through her messages until I hear her say, “Fuck.”

I peek on her phone and see Kristina’s message about an activity on one of their classes together that she missed when we went for a stroll out of town. The deadline is on Friday.

“Oh. It can wait,” Alex says. “We still have four days.”

And Alex, being Alex, spent three out of those four days messing around and procrastinating so by the time Thursday rolled around, they have accomplished nothing, resulting in Alex staying over at Kristina’s to do whatever they can to remedy the situation.

I would’ve offered to help if it wasn’t for the editorial’s club advisor passing his responsibilities to me and making last-minute changes on the school’s paper. Normally, I wouldn’t mind taking his duties for him, but it pissed me off that he had to wait until the last minute to tell me. I hate cramming.

My phone dings, the name on the screen shaking off my frustrations for a second. How’s the paper going?

About halfway done. Your poster? I type back, then after a moment, I add, Might have to pull an all-nighter.

It took a while before Alex’s reply came back. No one fails a class because of one project, right?

I shake my head after typing out a reply. Knowing her, there’s a fifty percent chance she’s being serious right now. But also knowing her, she’s going to find a way to pull through and get whatever needed to be done by tomorrow.

Returning to the pending articles in front of me, I spent the next hour editing and revising the publication before my phone buzzed again. Come down here.

I suck in a breath. What?

Special delivery from Books and Brews.

I run down to the front gate, barefooted and on my nightclothes, so fast it was a miracle I didn’t trip over myself. There, standing outside looking absolutely perfect is my girlfriend, holding a coffee cup with Books and Brews’ logo with a huge grin on her face.

I throw myself at her, not caring about anything other than the warmth that instantly settles over me as she wraps her other arm around me and pulls me tight against her. “Are you happy about the coffee or seeing me?” She chuckles against my hair.

“You.” I always thought the sappy things like showing up in the middle of the night in front of the girl’s house I always see in the movies are cliche and overrated. Well, cliches are cliches for a reason and I'm certain I can get behind the idea if this is how it feels like. “Definitely you.”

A bark from inside the house makes us both jump before it turned into high-pitched crying. Alex loosens her arm and gives me a once-over. “It’s cold.” She takes me in her arms again and hands me the cup. “Here. Go back inside before your dad sees me.”

“He’s not home.”

Alex blinks. “Oh.”

“Come inside for a bit.” I take her hand before she can protest and tiptoe back to the safety of my house. “How’d you even get in? The guards are supposed to call first before letting anyone in.”

She smirks. “I have my ways.”

“Of course you do.” I roll my eyes at her, finally taking a sip of my coffee. Double espresso. “And how’d you get this?”

“I have a key to the shop.” Alex lets me enter my bedroom first—the door left open from when I rushed downstairs—before entering and shutting it close behind her. “Any progress?”

I put my cup down on my desk before taking a seat on the couch. Alex follows me, stopping in front of my table when she notices the pictures hanging on the wall. There’s been one recent addition to it of a certain grandmaster playing chess, sitting cross-legged in our living room, a knight clutched between her fingers in her outstretched hand, paused in midmotion when I took the picture. Seeing the polaroid film puts a smile on Alex’s face.

She sits down next to me after peering down on my table and outstretches her arm on the back of the couch. I squeeze myself into her space, putting my legs over hers and cuddling closer. “Almost done with the paper. But I still have to review for our exam in Physics.”

She gently caresses my thighs, the roughness of her palms familiar and welcome. “We have an exam?”

“Al, our teacher reminded us yesterday. How can you forget?”

Alex shrugs. “Dunno. I don’t like reviewing,” she pauses as if thinking about something. “I end up getting a lower score when I review. It’s weird. And I hate science.”

Alex is smart but extremely lazy. She’s one of those people who manages to pass her classes with minimum effort. It’s maddening for the people who work their ass off and still get behind her.

I rest my head on her shoulder and close my eyes, content to just lie here and put whatever I’m working on at the back of my head. “I could use a power nap. Wish you could stay.”

“I can.”

“And leave Kristina alone to finish your project? No, thanks.”

She chuckles. “Even if it’s perfectly okay for me to leave that to Kris, no, I’m not. I went home before going here and bribed Soph to finish it.”

My eyes shoot open and I crane my head to look her in the eyes. “Are you serious?”

“A week’s worth of doing the dishes for her labor, another week for the late notice, and anime merch for not letting mom know I made her do my school works again. I feel like I got ripped off. I swear she’s—”

My lips effectively shut her up. After a second, she returns it and I feel her smile. “You’re the best,” I tell her.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

Feeling a little daring tonight, I press my chest against her side and let my voice drop as I whisper close to her ear, “I’m not wearing a bra.” The sharp intake of breath that follows is the only thing I allow her to do as I jump up and head back to my desk. When I look back at her, her mouth is hanging open, with the expression of utmost betrayal on her face. It makes me laugh out loud. “You’re not the only one who knows how to tease. And I’ll leave it to your imagination to guess whether I’m wearing any underwear.”

Alex narrows her eyes at me. She curls her index finger in a come here motion. “Get your sexy ass back here.”

“I have a paper to finish, remember?” I bat my eyelashes at her innocently.

Alex stands up and tucks her hands under her arms. She’s pouting. She was so cute I wanted to just throw my damn laptop away and kiss her senseless. “Fine,” she says. Then she proceeds to take off her hoodie, revealing that she’s not wearing a top and only a sports bra. The sight of her toned muscles makes me swallow. I’ve always admired Alex’s physique—not too muscly, yet toned enough to know she regularly works out.

“What are you doing?” I croak.

Instead of answering, her hands fly down to the hem of her shorts where she tugs it down and lets her shorts fall to her ankles, leaving her in boxer shorts and a black Nike sports bra. She picks up her shorts from the floor and folds them nicely. “No outside clothes on your bed, right?” She smirks before falling down on my bed with a thump. “Go do your thing. I already made you cut class once. I don’t wanna be the reason your grades decline.” She scoots backward until her back hits my headboard.

I raise an eyebrow at her. “Okay, then.” I glance at the clock on my laptop, noting the time and smiling to myself. Let’s wait.

It took Alex exactly nine minutes before climbing out of the bed, a blanket covering her like a burrito, and enveloping me with a back hug with it. “You’re too far,” she grumbles under her breath when I beam at her. “Aren’t you done yet?”

One thing I learned about Alex: you can’t put her in the same room as me and not be close enough to touch. She always wants to be close to me—close enough to touch, at least. When we’re in the office, or in the classroom, or anywhere, really, she almost absentmindedly just reaches out to touch me. Whether it’s my hand, or my back, or my hair—whatever part of my body. It’s like she needs to feel me.

I chuckle against her chest. “You know what,” I grab my laptop and stand up, taking her hand and leading her to the bed. “I’m never gonna finish if you keep being cute and distracting me.”

Alex settles under the sheets while I lay on top of them, my laptop resting on my lap. Once we were both comfortable in our positions, Alex goes back to what she was doing on her phone, and finally, I was able to work uninterrupted save for the occasional belly rub from Alex every few minutes.

I stretch my arms and legs, finally finished after two hours. Wanting to get my work done faster, I got so absorbed and didn’t notice Alex falling asleep next to me. I peer down at her. She’s on her side, phone in her hand. There’s no point in waking her up—it’s past midnight and we still have school later. I carefully pry her phone from her hands and put it on the bedside table along with my laptop next to the empty coffee cup from Books and Brews.

Before I can get out of bed, Alex’s hand slides on my thighs. “You finally done?” She murmurs, opening an eye.

“Did I wake you?” I run a hand through her hair, removing stray strands off her face.

Alex shakes her head. She gets up and kisses me. “Is it babe time now?” She asks, then grimaces. “Ah, nevermind. You still have to review.”

She starts to pull away, but right now, I’d gladly fail a stupid exam just to make out with my girlfriend. “The only thing I’ll be reviewing is how to make you moan.” I push her on her back and straddle her, taking my time to rake my eyes over the gorgeous body underneath me before crashing my lips against hers.

A low growl escapes from her throat. It always fascinated me how she gets easily turned on. She grabs my ass and squeezes them all the while my tongue invades the inside of her mouth. All those weeks of teasing and interruptions that left me craving and frustrated have reached their peak and the need to have Alex now is overwhelming.

“Can’t believe I spent all that time thinking you really had no underwear.” She mumbles.

I chuckle against her cheek. “At least your imagination didn’t fail me.” I run my hands up the sides of her torso, tracing the refined lines on her stomach. I kiss my way down to her jaw, to her throat, and when I reach the bottom side of her neck, I flick out my tongue experimentally. Alex lets out a groan.

I finger the strap of her sports bra. “Off. Now.”

Alex obeys like a good girl and sits up like I weigh nothing above her and tugs the garment roughly over her head. She places both her hands on my sides and pins me with a look that makes me wonder why I’m on top of her and not underneath. She starts kissing my neck, pausing only when she eases my top over my head. I thread my fingers through her hair and tilt my head back, giving her easy access.

Alex pulls me closer, our bodies flush against each other. We both groan at the same time. “You feel so good.” She shifts, making our bodies grind and she feels so deliciously hot against my skin.

I push her down to lay onto her back, but instead, she slips a secure arm around my waist and rolls over, ending with her on top of me. Alex bends down. She flicks out her tongue before exploring the inside of my mouth that leaves me gasping for air.

Alex trails soft kisses down to my jaw, my throat, my collarbones. When she reaches the curve of my breast, she nuzzles my nipple, then she looks up. She gives me a wicked smile before ravishing them, alternating between nipping and sucking and quick flicks of her tongue. God, that tongue.

Alex takes me, slow and unhurried as if she has all the time in the world. While her mouth is busy keeping both my breasts company, her hands trace the contours of every curve of my body, leaving trails of lingering heat on their wake.

Alex lifts herself up and reaches for my underwear. She starts to tug them down, then stops. “You have a tattoo.”

“Oh. Yes.” I push myself up to my elbows with immense effort and eye the clean script in black ink etched on my skin just above my left hip bone—dum spiro spero.

I was distracted by her hair falling over her shoulder and tickling my thighs, but I thought I saw a look of understanding cross her face. “It’s pretty.” She plants a featherlight kiss over the tattoo before tugging my shorts along with my cotton underwear off. She kisses my thighs as she pulls them down, sending tingles shooting right through my core. So close.

I knew it was about to get serious when she used both her hands to comb her hair once and used the thin black hair tie she always has in her wrist to tie it up. Her biceps flexes at the movement and it didn’t help in any way to get my libido under control. Not that I wanted to.

Then she was over me again, pressing her lips against mine as she slides a finger over the wetness pooling between my thighs. She sucks in a breath. “Fuck.” Her fingers move in lazy circles around my folds until my whole sex was coated with slick arousal.

My lips part in a gasp as she slips one finger inside me. But it’s not enough. She kisses the side of my throat before slipping her finger out and adding another. I nearly lose it when she starts moving inside me.

Alex takes a steady pace at first, gradually speeding up as she explores the rest of my body with her mouth. With every thrust comes a pathetic whimper from deep in my throat. Then her fingers curl up just at the right angle and I cry out, “Oh, fuck Alex!” I grab a handful of her hair, looking for something—anything—to hold on to.

I squeeze my eyes shut my eyes as the throbbing intensifies along with my skyrocketing heart rate. My hips buck as my stomach clenches and the force of my orgasm rocks my entire body. I concentrate on steadying my breathing as I rode the waves of pleasure and waited for the aftershocks to cease.

I was vaguely aware of Alex retracting her fingers and pushing away strands of hair that clung to my damp face. I feel the press of her lips on my temple and I hear her whisper, “You okay?”

A smile forms on my lips before I pry my eyes open. Alex’s face is also glistening with sweat and her hair is a mess, courtesy of my hair-grabbing tendencies. But her eyes—oh, her eyes spoke volumes. I expected to find lust. Desire. Need.

I find love. Pure, unadulterated love.

She cups my cheek and she looks at me with such gentleness in her eyes it makes my heart ache. “You are so breathtakingly beautiful.” Then she smiles and like a switch flipping, she’s back to Alex. The Alex who always has that mischievous glint in her eyes. She has that same look in her eyes now. “And I’m not done with you.”

Suddenly her mouth is between my thighs and her tongue is lashing at my clit and all I was able to say is a string of cuss words before I was thrashing and writhing in pleasure and coming once again.

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