If you opened the dictionary right now at the word “pathetic” I am sure you would find my damn picture! Or is it “miserable”? But for sure, what I am doing now is pretty pathetic no matter how you view it. I am stalking Tamie. Textbook stalking. And I have been doing so for a while.
I have stayed away from her but that doesn’t mean that I do not need to see her. I do. I need to see her every day, make sure she is safe, that no one is threatening her. But I do so in a distance. I vowed to keep away from her and I will do exactly that.
I know she went to college, I know what she is studying, I know she has a new friend, Lauren, that I run a back check on. And I do know that she is currently across the street, at some college party. Told you. Textbook stalker.
To my defense, though she never asked openly, Iris brought up casually how she is still worried about Tamie during one of her visits in the clubhouse’s kitchen. That was all the excuse I needed. Keep an eye on Tamie for Iris’s sake.
Not because I can’t go through a day without seeing those eyes and glancing even from afar at that damn heart-shaped mark on her neck. Not because my body aches for her constantly. Not because even the thought that she is in discomfort makes me agitated.
So when Iris equally casually dropped that Tamie is going to a party tonight, I prepared myself accordingly. I perched myself on a slope across that house where that Logan and three other fuckers live and I have all my gear. My binoculars, night vision goggles, thermal cameras and my fucking gun. If that motherfucker dares lay a hand on Tamie, he will jerk off with the other for the rest of his miserable life.
What the fuck are you doing? There is a voice in my head constantly. It asks the same thing over and over again. I always felt like a stranger in my own body but lately this is getting worse. What the fuck was I doing obsessing over Tamie? Why did I tell her how I truly felt? Why did I turn away from her? Why am I following her around?
It is as if all these are done by someone else not me. The real me, the one I truly long to be, wants to go to her, take her in my arms, claim her and keep her. The real me rejoiced when she saw me outside her college and her face lit up. The real me dreams a real fucking life with Tamie.
That other fucker, that cruel son of a bitch that has seen his family turn their backs on him, that has killed men in cold blood, that has let people down over and over again, he is the one telling me to stand back cause I will fuck this up. And honestly? I am not sure who is more real anymore.
I take a deep breath and focus on my cameras. Tamie arrives and I see her both in my regular camera and on my thermal one. A flaming figure of a woman, a slender flame of pumping blood. She goes up the stairs and stands at the threshold. Even from here, I can sense her fear by the way her body is coiled. She wants to be normal, I have guessed as much but it is damn hard task to accomplish.
I grab my binoculars and I focus on her face. My heart tightens when I see her profile, her eyelids touching her cheeks each time she closes them, her lips she bites and licks in agitation. And that mark on her neck I want to lick and bite till the end of days.
And then I sense her mood change and I see that that fucker is with her. I don’t blame him, Tamie is the most beautiful girl in the damn world. He smiles at her, that asshole! He is walking around topless, flaunting his body and he comically flexes his muscles to Tamie. I watch her and she almost laughs at his attempts. Good.
Then the door closes and I can only see them in the thermal cameras. It is hard to keep track of them with all these people in there but it’s as if I am connected to her with a magic bond that makes me sense exactly where she is at all times.
They go in the kitchen and he gives her a cup I am hoping she doesn’t drink from. She doesn’t. Good girl, kitten. And then they go out the living room, talk to some people. He is standing too close for my liking but Tamie makes no attempt to touch him. I am perversely satisfied. As if she is doing that because of me.
And then I see him put his hand around her waist and take her upstairs. I take a look up and I spot the bedrooms. Two of those are occupied. In one, three bodies are mingling in activities that so much appeal to Tor. A boy and a girl are fucking next door but the last bedroom is empty.
“Motherfucker!" I hiss in the night.
If that asshole thinks he can drag my girl to his room and have his way with her, he is fucking dead and doesn’t know it. I will maim that fucker and I may even leave something for the Hellhound.
I am done keeping my distance, done playing it nice. I am dragging Tamie out of there now! Glad that I left my cut behind, Igrab my gun and I rush down to the house in long wide strides. I will crash a party and crush a few skulls along the way while I am at it.
I put the gun in the back of my jeans and approach the loud place looking around vigilant. This all seems like a genuine frat-boys-like party but I didn’t survive shit by being careless. I look around and I see drunk college boys and girls puking behind bushes, joints changing hands and the occasional popping of pills but so far no guns and nothing threatening.
I go up the stairs and through the open door and instantly I get several eyes on me. I definitely look the odd one out. There sure are some buff guys in here with tatts and shit but none are me. I am seriously pissed and on edge right now and I am certain I look fucking lethal. Main reason most eyes turn quickly away.
I don’t hesitate and I go up the stairs climbing the steps two by two, aiming straight for the last room, that empty room. If I find him with Tamie, I am not holding back. I doubt that fucker has a gun so I am going to give him a chance to face me bare-handed. Not sure he will survive that.
I stand before the door and curse the blasting music from downstairs cause I can’t hear shit. Tamie! I am once again before a door with her behind it and I am pulling her out.